Alice's Insurrection (Alice Clark Series) (3 page)

“I wanted to thank you for saving me, for making peace with Cole
, most of all for trusting me and allowing me to see the dark in you. I never would have seen the light we shared if you hadn’t.” Alice sat up and looked into his eyes with such love, she felt his darkness thaw slightly.

“You don’t know the things I’ve done since the Fall,
even before the Fall. You only know the version of me that I am now.”

“No
, Jake, I know who you are on a core level. You may be filled with darkness, showing only a single light filled with the ability to love, to care and to fight for what is right. Your past is your past, it’s time to move forward. The entire point of being saved is to get another chance to start over.” She had waited a long time to explain to Jake that what he was going through was his own battle to fight all feeling, that it was himself feeling unworthy of redemption for all the wrong reasons. Not all of the Fallen, for example Purah, chose to feel, and some hung in the balance, like Jake.

“I feel so much love in my life, I can
actually feel it deep within me. It’s like a warm blanket that soothes the sadness within, and it helps me get through the dark times in my life. What I feel more than love, is anger and pain. I am angry with Paul for putting me in this position. I am angry with God for turning His back on His children and damning us all because He is angry. I feel pain that I am hated by so many, including the One I have spent my whole life believing loved me
because
of what I am. I have been psychically tortured and beaten because of what I am and somehow, through all this, I am supposed to, in some magical way, save all of you Fallen, all of my fellow Nephilim and all of mankind. Yet I am accepting it all willingly, to feel love, even if it’s only for a single minute and is taken away from me at any moment. Do you get my point, Jake?”

“I guess
, but you don’t understand what I have done; I do not deserve salvation.” Jake’s voice grew agitated. She could sense she was close to whatever was holding him back.

“I do understand.”

“No, you don’t!” he said, leaping up from where he sat.

“I have seen it!
I have seen who you really are and who you used to be,” Alice yelled louder than she had meant to. She pulled at his arm, “Sit down, please.”

“I’m sorry, we should go back inside.”

“No, Jake, you need to deal with this so you don’t get us both killed. We are linked now, and I won’t have you getting us all killed because you allow your guilt to consume you. You can be an asset or a weakness; trust me as I trust you. Sit.”

Jake sat down in front of her, hesitantly, as s
he looked into his eyes and watched, looking for the light inside of him to draw out toward her. “No matter what happens, do not look away.”

“It’s too dangerous and you are too weak.”

“I know who you are, Jake, and I know who you were, even if it hurts you that I do. It’s time to let it go. I need you to be strong here, now, for us all. What is coming is what we have all been fearing and maybe even worse, and we need to be at our best.” She smiled softly, “I’m okay, I promise.”

“Okay
, then. I think you are more stubborn than I am, and I’m ignoring the fact that you promised not to lie to me, just this once.”

Alice stared deep into his eyes
. She wasn’t sure what to do, but she allowed her soul to guide her. Her heart reminded her soul of the single kiss they had shared when he had shared everything with her. The light within her soul instantly reached out to him and she followed as it grasped the bright light that had grown more intense since their last meeting. Her soul smiled and redirected to the dark smog within him, grasping at a memory that seemed preserved there. Alice felt Jake struggle and grabbed his hands, reminding him that she was right there. He was talking to someone who was giving him orders to destroy a human village; he quickly fulfilled the orders, but the toll of the assignment took hold of him and had never released that hold. It was still hard for Alice to get used to the winding images, filled with emotional attachments, reaching out to her, playing out the moments like a film in her head. Except that in this film she could feel what he felt. A few similar assignments were carried out, each one filling him with darkness until the last assignment which had been to kill a ward filled with babies. They were all Nephilim but to him they looked like helpless babies. When he returned without completing his job, the angel who had assigned him the duty, showed him that another angel had carried out their orders, finishing his assignment. Alice read the angel’s lips as he spoke of the other angel being, “a true devote to God.” She felt Jake break into a thousand pieces and saw the darkness as it began to fill the spaces in between each piece, while he watched a replay of that devoted angel take care of his last assignment, just as he had been forced to do so long ago.

The Fall had begun and Jake had been on strike for some time.
An angel she recognized approached him and gave him a choice to do God’s will and stay with them, or to fall from grace and be with those he wanted to spare.

“Procel?” Rogziel’s voice boomed
.

“That’s not my name anymore
,” Jake said, as he leaped off of the edge of grace.

It looked like years after the Fall
, Jake was still filled with anger, so much so that it made Alice’s skin crawl being trapped in the memory. He grew vicious and began to terrorize those he had sacrificed himself for in order for them to live. Images of savagery flooded through her mind as he tried to kill the love and the compassion that he had for humans and Nephilims. They finally rested on a medieval time period where a Fallen had taken him in, being impressed with his talents.
Purah.
Alice thought.

She felt Jake
’s hands squeezing hers and she knew he wanted her to stop. She felt his panic and, though she didn’t want to witness what was to come next, something in her felt that this was the road which would show her how she would save him.

Purah was being honest when he
had told her he was taking it easy on her. She now knew why Jake hadn’t wanted to help her enter a room of torture by trading for Cole. Jake had endured his torture first hand, she saw as the first images were revealed. As she felt the emotion, she knew Purah was only breaking him down, until he could force Jake into becoming the torturer, the very thing he had fallen from grace over. After what felt like forever, the images of their torture and cruelty stopped and she noticed something she hadn’t seen during the memory, of which she was now painfully aware. Jake was reliving it all as well, not as a memory, but more as if he were right there in the moment all over again. After each torture Purah kept him in a cage. She gasped at the sight of him being constantly forced into unmentionable acts. Her own wounds began to ache from the memory of the time she spent with Purah. One moment suddenly slowed down by command of the light she felt in him directing the images she was seeing and also the speed at which she was viewing them, as if to mark its importance. Sariel entered the room that held Jake, freeing him. He carried his Fallen brother, bathed in blood and anguish, out and returned him to a farm in Hell, Michigan. Together they spent many lifetimes saving Nephilim from angels like he had been.

The next series of images and film
, a transition of decades and centuries, were of Jake drinking himself into a constant stupor until the day he met Camille. Alice almost pulled her eyes away from his but resisted at the last moment. She may have known one side of the story, but she could swear she felt her heartbeat begin to race as she watched Jake stare into Camille’s eyes. Alice let go, allowing the final memory of her to be one he could cherish rather than mourn, bright eyed with a smile that could warm anyone’s soul.

“I forgive you
,” Alice whispered, catching her breath from the whiplash effect that this particular ability caused her. “Who we are is in direct relation to who we were. Do you think I would have accepted this as my life if I grew up in a loving home and lived a normal happy life?”

“Actually
, yes, you would have. Anyone else, no, I would think not.” Jake wiped his face and tried to shake the weight of what had happened off of him. “I didn’t want you to know about Purah, I didn’t want you to think…”

“I don’t
,” she said, interrupting him. “If you could see yourself from my eyes, you would know Procel and Jake are the same. That is not a bad thing, Jake. You took a stand and you were punished. You are nothing like Rogziel or Purah, but they are not much different from each other. How do you feel?”

“I feel pretty g
ood, actually.” He smiled a sincere smile. ,His eyes looked as if they may have found some peace for once in his existence and the more he let that settle, the more wonder began to show on his face. “How did you make me feel like this?”

“I didn’t
, I just showed you something that you couldn’t see yourself. You showed me something I’ve never seen, either” ”What’s that?”

“Rogziel’s had his hand in the cookie jar this entire time.
I’m curious as to how much of his plan is actually God’s plan.”

“What if it is
totally God’s plan?”

“You haven’t seen me back down from a fight yet
, have you?”

Jake laughed
, shaking his head, “No and I’m sure I never will. Let’s get you inside, I’m pretty exhausted from your little adventure in my head, and I’m sure you are, too.”

“Next time let’s just go get a beer
,” she said, wrapping her arm around his shoulder.

“Now that is what I’m talking about
,” he said, lifting her up fully into his arms, knowing she had used all her strength to save him. At least that’s what it felt like for them both. “Thank you,” he whispered into her hair

She smiled against his neck
, feeling as if a small amount of weight had been lifted off of her and that made her feel stronger even in her weakened condition.

ALICE

It had only been a
few days since Alice returned to her home which was filled with her Fallen family. Sometimes when she closed her eyes she felt as if she was back in Purah’s lair, strapped to that horrible chair. She shook off that eerie feeling that was left inside of her, grateful she was already beginning to feel more like herself and less like the beaten Nephilim she had become over the last few weeks. She rubbed her forearm gently, trying to eliminate the horrid tingling sensation that reminded her of how it feels when your foot falls asleep. The feeling was all over her body, just beneath her purple tinted skin. “Ouch,” she grumbled.
Not gentle enough
.

“Let me help
,” Briathos said as he entered the room. Alice raised an eyebrow at the angel thrown from grace. “It will make me feel more useful,” he added to calm her discomfort. She nodded allowing him to sit on the couch next to her. He opened the glass jar holding a cream he recognized and began to apply it to her skin. “You’re lucky you survived this.”

“I’m well aware
, though I’m not feeling very lucky at the moment. Ouch!” The pain seemed to increase before it had a chance to get better.

“Sorry.”
His hands felt cool against her skin and after a moment his touch, like Cole’s, began to numb some of the pain. It was as if he used the cream as a conduit to a deeper healing only he could achieve. She sighed from the relief and could swear she almost saw him smile. It was just for a moment but it was beautiful.

“Can I ask you something?”
Briathos asked.

“Of course, go ahead.”

“Do you know why He gave you the gift? All of them, I should say,” he spoke softly as he switched from arm to arm and then to her leg.

“Well
, there’s no real way to know why, but I’m not sure, honestly.”

“Make a guess
,” he pushed.

“Okay
. Well, at first I thought it was a punishment, a disadvantage. Now I think it may be to level the playing field. I don’t think He has decided which way He wants this to go, or maybe He’s changed His mind. This could be a chance to show Him that not all those that are damned, should be.”

“Interesting theories
,” he said, finishing her last leg and moving toward her back and torso.

“That’s a neat trick
,” Alice said rubbing her tingling arm. It didn’t feel like her limbs had fallen asleep at all, it was more like a slow humming from a car motor, lightly vibrating her skin.

“It doesn’t reverse the damage done
, though it does promote faster recovery time, but for now it can help ease the suffering. I used to ease the suffering of those of mankind that were deemed worthy, before they moved on in their end days. Rogziel said that the role suited my weak nature,” he said with shame.

Alice lifted his chin, “Don’t do that; I have seen so much good
in you and so much love in you. There is nothing wrong with feeling empathy toward mankind, from what I’ve heard, He does too. It’s just my kind that He hates.”

“He doesn’t hate you,
He doesn’t hate anything. Once He makes a decision it is difficult to reverse it. He either understands or He doesn’t. Make Him understand.” Briathos’s words sunk deeply into Alice, as did his healing touch beneath her skin. “You should rest until the tingling sensation subsides a bit; I’m afraid you may fall if you attempt to walk.”

“Really? Okay, thank yo
u. Do you mind keeping me company while the others are out?”

“I suppose I could do that, yes
,” he said uncomfortably.

“You don’t have to
. I just thought we could talk about some mundane things to get your mind off of, all of this.”

Br
iathos raised a dark eyebrow at her curiously, “Mundane?”

She laughed in response
. “Have you studied mankind? Do you know about food and art and such?”

“Yes
, my entire existence is to ease suffering in dying days of mankind. It was helpful to know what things brought them joy and what brought them pain.”

“What’s your favorite food?”

“Pardon me?”

Alice laughed again and for the first time she didn’t flinch from her wounds.
It was infectious and he allowed a smile to show through. “I’m not sure if you have to eat or drink here, but I know the others enjoy food and drinks. I was just curious whether you ate food.”

“For sustenance only. We do not need to
, but some of us prefer it. I never wanted to come across as weak, so I didn’t try any of the cultural foods of mankind.”

“Huh. We are big breakfast eaters here. I would make you something right now if this tingling sensation would go away. What about sleep
? Do you need to?”

“Not necessarily
, but we do rather enjoy it. Though it’s difficult with a giant, ominous face staring at you,” he said, gesturing toward the guest bedroom.

“Oh my
, I am so sorry! I completely forgot about that. I’ll take care of it as soon as I’m able to walk.”

“It’s okay, I just ignore it.
You need your rest, whenever you can get to it is fine by me. Who is it, may I ask?”

“Cole’s great-grandfather
, a bounty hunter. He was a part of the group of Fallen on the other side of this war. I painted that after being attacked by him before I knew who or what I was or what he was, for that matter. I never even saw his face but I painted his likeness perfectly, as if I did. Still gives me the creeps.”

“You’ve made a lot of enemies
,” he said sadly.

“You really feel for me
, don’t you?”

“I do. It feels as if H
e wanted me to, if that makes sense at all.”

Alice smiled at Briathos with a heart filled with hope.
He knew her silence was filled with it and as much as it saddened him, it also awoke a part of him he wasn’t yet prepared for. He truly cared for Alice, a feeling he was not used to feeling. He wasn’t sure if it was God’s doing or the fact that she was the Fallen’s savior. He was now, too, one of them as much as it infuriated him to think about it. “Do you mind if I ask you about the Horseman?”

“Not at all.
What is it you would like to know?”

“You said we stopped the seals from being opened.
I’m assuming that means one had been opened already. So which one and how did we stop it?”

“That’s what I expected you to ask. A long time ago, before you were born
, the Lamb opened the first seal, the Horseman of Conquest. Many humans saw the entity on a white horse carrying his bow and he was known as the false Christ to some. From what I understand, Columbus conquered the land known now as the United States of America, with the help of the Horseman known as Conquest. Many humans turned on each other and many souls died. He continues to aide in conquering the rest of the world in a less conspicuous manner.”

“I knew politicians were shady but that’s pretty ridiculous. Wait
, the Lamb! You mean Jesus, right?”

“Yes
, that is who I’m referring to, and, yes, I think it is quite corrupt, basically pretending to be a false God, wishing those beneath you to worship you and do as you say. It’s against God. As far as how did we stop it, it is said that if good does an evil deed or evil does a good deed, it basically messes up the balance and halts the process, but this doesn’t last forever.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Conquest has been roaming the earth bringing his darkness upon the world for decades, centuries even. The Fallen and I are connected to this prophecy, so we can feel the pull of it and also when it lets go. We believe that my fall from grace to save you…”

“Was good doing an evil deed, because I’m an abomination?”

“That’s not how I feel, but that is what has been set in motion, yes, and as horrible as that sounds, it buys us time to figure out just how it is you are to save us.”

“Can
He open another seal?”

“Technically if the balance tips again, yes
, I believe so.”

“Is that the only seal broken?”

“Sadly no, the second seal was also broken. During what you call World War I, I believe. The second seal is the Red Horseman of War. The Horseman fed into human’s hate, which caused them to fight each other, to the death. There were so many useless deaths of His so-called children.”

“So there’s two horseman left?
”

“Only one, Death. Someone seems pretty keen on opening them all.”

“Rogziel?”

“It’s possible, though he himself cannot open the seals
; only the Lamb can. Unless He was convinced to open them.”

Alice’s brain felt like it was on fire. She thought the story of the
Four Horsemen was a nightmare told to keep children in line. It never occurred to her that it was all real. It meant that she had four seals to go before mass destruction of the human race and the final End of Days. She felt it in her bones that Rogziel planned to rush this situation along as quickly as he was able to. She wondered if he had anything to do with breaking the first three seals so very long ago. “It seems this all happened so very long ago, what makes you think the others will be broken let alone broken in my lifetime?”

“Because I know Rogziel, and that is his plan
, to bring the End of Days. It’s a matter of time before he convinces the Lamb to open the next seal.”

“Death? What was the third seal?”

“Correct, and the third seal was Famine, the Horseman on a black steed. We’re getting ahead of ourselves, though. It won’t take much to tip the balance and when it does, the first three Horsemen will ride again, awaiting their brother. That war that has been threatened by the humans in power, will come to pass at the hand of mankind, provoked by the riders. When it does, the Fourth Horseman will ride and with him, Hades will follow. A fourth of all mankind will be killed by sword, by famine, by plague of mass disaster, or by the wild beasts that roam earth.”

“I think I’m getting a headache.” Though this new information was a dark cloud hovering over her
, she couldn’t help but feel hopeful. At least now she knew what she had to stop or try to stop, anyway. A part of her insisted it was possible that she could overcome these challenges and save them all. That gave her hope.

“It’s probably best we stop
; it’s a lot to take in, especially in your condition. I believe your family is home anyway.” As the Fallen arrived just outside, he excused himself from her presence. As much as he was enjoying her company, he was not yet ready for the open arms of those who chose to fall from grace, whatever their reason was.

Alice and Briathos found themselves
enjoying each other’s company more as each day passed by, each teaching the other about their worlds. Briathos would use his healing ability on her in exchange for some friendly banter while she lay helplessly tingly on her couch. She took the time to tell her story, from when she was little Jane to when she became Alice and up to the present day. He was enamored by her presence, so much so, that they each felt closer to the God they grew up with which was better than dwelling on the distance between themselves and the God they seemed to know now. Alice wondered which version their Creator truly was, and she couldn’t help but hope for the God that they remembered.