Against The Darkness (Cimmerian Moon) (15 page)

“I’m listening,” is the only thing he says.

I should too
, I think.
I focus hard on what the Captain is saying. He’s talking about strongholds and
other armed forces that are on the ground trying to mobilize. But as the
Captain talks, my mind keeps drifting to how good Jason’s arms feel around me
and the way he smells. I want to pay attention. I try to pay attention but I
can’t seem to focus on anything, especially while he continues to breathe on my
neck. Light puffs of air cause a warm mist that seems to play with my nerve
endings.

I feel another school-girl shudder approaching and I tense,
stopping it.

Pay attention nit-wit. Jason isn’t going to be around
forever.

Right
.

My determination to listen and pay attention is short
lived. I’m too aware of his body to follow along with the conversation. I can’t
stop trembling and my mind is too foggy to figure out if it’s because of him or
because I’m tired and overwhelmed.

I let my gaze shift to his forearms.
Plentiful
blond hairs cover them, and on one he has a perfectly
round mole about an inch from his wrist.

I want to touch it, to run my finger over it. Why, I don’t
know. I avert my gaze before I’m tempted. I stare at his thumbs instead. His
nails are short, with a little dirt underneath them. I know mine have dirt
underneath them as well. That’s unavoidable.

His thumb is thick and reminds me of my father’s. He shifts
and gives my arm a light squeeze. His movement reminds me that my back is
pressed against him. His body feels hard behind me. Hard and warm. My breathing
picks up a bit. A hint of a flutter starts in my chest. Then that flutter
quickly ignites to a spark within my stomach. Now my breathing is borderline
uncontrollable.

Great. I’m about to hyperventilate.

I hold it. Without the deep rasp of my breathing I can feel
how hard my heart is beating and hear it rushing through my ears. My breathing
I can control. My heart I cannot.

By the time my chest burns, I make the conscious decision
to take a breath. I let out a small gasp of air first and then, on the next, I
try to match his breaths.

In, out, in, out, in, out.

It works. I’m straining with each breath, but my chest
rises and falls with his. Now I try to focus on relaxing. I close my eyes.

Calm down
.

There’s no reason for me to feel this way. I’ve been around
guys before—plenty of them. Well maybe not plenty. I’ve even gone on a
couple of dates. So I could say that I dated guys without it being a lie. They
were study dates—to the library, coffee shop, book store, stuff like
that. But I can still count them as dates.

There was Ian’s friend Ryan. We had gone to the movies on a
double-date with Mia and Ian.

Had Ryan held me like this? When we were in line buying the
tickets?

I can’t remember.

No.

Ryan hadn’t, but Wade had. After the aliens attacked our
camp.

Why hadn’t I had the same reaction with him?

I flick my eyes open and see Wade. He’s staring at me and Jason.
His eyes bore into us and it isn’t a good feeling. The urge to pull away is
great. I want Wade to stop looking at us like the way he is.

I clear my throat. “I should probably…”

Jason tightens his arms around me. “So as long as we stay
away from the main roads we should be fine?” Jason asks. He seems to not notice
how Wade is staring daggers at us or how inappropriate this all is, because if
he did, he wouldn’t have made his voice rise above everyone else’s. “We’ve got
that part covered. We’ve been sticking to the woods—or anything else that
can provide us with cover.”

Now everyone is watching us, not just Wade. And Wade isn’t
the only one who’s giving us a piercing glare. Ken is giving us the same look.

“That’s a start,” Captain
Page
says. “Anyone who’s on the main roads doesn’t stand a
chance. We watched it happen—once. We warned them to stay off the roads,
but they kept saying the quickest way to get to where they were going was the
freeway. We couldn’t talk them out of it, so we gave them our blessings. And
just as we cleared the road we saw it.” He shakes his head. “They couldn’t get
away.”

Ken drags his eyes from Jason and I. “You couldn’t have
saved them?”

“There was nothing we could have done. If we would have
showed ourselves, the lizards would have taken us too. But I suspect pretty
soon they’ll expand their hunting ground to the less common places.”

“Unfortunately, that’s what I think too,” Ken says.

“That means we’ll have to move fast, double time,” Ian
says.

I flick my gaze over to where Ian and Mia are. Ian is
holding Mia much the same way that Jason is holding me, but they were a
couple—are a couple. No one will think it’s weird that they’re fawning
all over each other.

I catch Mia’s eyes and raise my brow. “You and Ian?” I
mouth. She gives her head a slight nod. So they’re back on. Ian can be a jerk
sometimes, but she seems to love him and he loves her.

Then she mouths back, “You and Jason?”

What? No?

I frown.

Is it that obvious that I’m practically melting at his feet?

I fix my face and posture in my best, “I’m cool with
everything” façade.

Nope. I’m not freaking out
.

I glance around to find that Wade and Ken are still glaring
our way. I guess I’m not fooling either of them. They’re probably both
wondering why the heck I’m going all teenage-crush on Jason when we obviously
have bigger issues to deal with.

I fix my face to show my indifference of Jason’s arms
around me. But still, I can’t ignore Ken and Wade. They’re too intense, too
focused. Even while everyone discusses a plan they keep on watching us. It’s so
unsettling and Jason either doesn’t see them or he isn’t bothered by it. I let
my gaze jump from person to person, not focusing on anything specific, maybe
their nose, forehead or top of their heads. It’s a trick I learned in drama
club. Stare into the audience, make them believe you are looking at them, but
never make eye contact.

It’s working to steady my nerves and what is happening
is
nerve wracking. My insides are twisting and flipping while I’m trying to
maintain my composure on the outside. I think Jason can sense something is off,
because he begins to rock me from side-to-side, ever so lightly.

I want to groan. He’s torturing me and doesn’t even know
it.

A small part of me wants to welcome how good he feels—how
good he’s making me feel. Just for a second. It’s not fair. I probably won’t
ever get to feel this way again. I might end up captured by aliens and dead
tonight…or tomorrow.

I glance over to Mia again. She looks happy. She has
someone. I look over to Shayla and MJ. They aren’t hugging but they’re holding
hands.

Jason is not my boyfriend. I don’t have any illusions about
that, but there’s nothing wrong with me enjoying this little slice of heaven.

Screw Wade and Ken
.

Knoxville, Tennessee

Later that day

My little slice of heaven doesn’t last long.

Captain
Page
shares
everything he can with us and then he steps back into the shadows. He was gone
just as quick as he had come. His men never showed their faces or even showed
us who they were, but I didn’t doubt they had been there, having his back.

That’s how I want to come and go—with stealth. The
aliens won’t catch up to the Marines and if they do, I’m pretty sure the Marines
will make the aliens eat their guns.

I can’t remember everything Captain
Page
had said. Everything after the minute Jason wrapped his
arm around me is fuzzy. But the information I do remember isn’t good. It isn’t
until after Jason releases me that I realize I should have been paying more
attention instead of having stupid internal dialogue. We won’t be with Jason
and Ken for long and I’ll need to know how to survive if I’m going to get home
safely.

When the Captain leaves, Ken urges us on, to continue on
our trek, as if we still had a fighting chance. No one talks about how the guns
the guys carry are all but useless or how Shayla’s and my knives wouldn’t
penetrate the aliens’ thick skin. Yes, we could stop jerks like the Tanners,
but that was about it.

It wasn’t fair. None of this was. Just when I thought we
had some kind of fighting chance it seemed to be snatched from our grasp like
some kind of cruel joke.

Here’s a kitchen knife to protect yourself with.

Psych! Here’s a mountain man with a shotgun pointed at your
head.

Here’s a hunting knife and some guns and guys who know how
to use them.

Psych! The knives and guns are useless against the aliens.

Here’s your mother.

Psych! She’s dead.

A cry chokes in the back of my throat.

“Are you okay?” MJ asks. Somehow we ended up walking
side-by-side.

I nod. “Yeah.”

MJ grunts. “Well, if that’s true then we can’t be friends
anymore.”

I flick my gaze up to his face. I hadn’t thought about the
idea of us being friends, but I know we are. “What do you mean?”

“
I mean
, we are going through our personal little hell
on Earth and you just said you were okay.” He brings his gun up and takes a
hard look at it. “This…this won’t do any good at protecting me…Shayla…you…or
anyone else. We lost over thirty-five classmates and two teachers. We were
taken hostage by some racist bastards who were steps from gang-raping the only
teacher we have left. And,” he says, emphasizing the last word. “We’re running
from aliens that look like monster-ass Bearded Dragons. I, Sinta Allen, am not
okay.”

Despite the somberness of the group I let out a soft
chuckle and bump my shoulder into him. “No, I’m not okay.”

“Thought so. So what are you thinking about?”

“Does this mean we’re friends again?”

“Of course.”

I take a deep breath. “I was thinking about my mom. I was
wondering if after we do all this and make it back home, what if—”

“Don’t.” He reaches out and wraps his fingers around my
arm, giving me a reassuring squeeze. “If we think that way, then we might as
well find a major highway, light a bonfire and wait for the aliens to pick us
up.”

“We can’t give up hope,” I say with renewed energy. “Sorry.
But I just feel like I’m in a fight against the darkness that is trying to
consume my every thought. I feel as though it’s trying to seep into my pores.”
I take a deep breath. “I know it sounds crazy. I was just having a weak moment.

“You’re not the only one who’s trying to fight against some
kind of darkness. I think we all are, but weak? You? The girl who wanted to
blow marine brains all over the trees?”

I lower my face, hiding my embarrassment. “I was scared.”

“Huh, remind me not to scare you.”

We break through the wooded area and onto a two lane road.
The sky is grey and dreary. The clouds rolling in are black and foreboding—a
storm is coming. If we don’t find shelter soon we’ll be miserable—well,
more than we already are.

“Where the hell are we?” Ian asks, as we make our way up the
road, sticking to the run-offs.

“Ian,” Ms. Burgess says in warning.

“Hell isn’t a curse word, Ms. B. Give me hell and piss and
I promise not to say the hard stuff.”

She seems to think on it for a minute before she replies,
“Deal.”

“I think Knoxville,” Ken replies. “But I can’t figure out
these landmarks.” He studies the map and then lifts his head to take a glance
around. After a minute more he folds the map and hands it to Jason who puts it
in his back pocket.

“What’s the plan here?” Ms. Burgess asks.

“The plan is to find some supplies, guns and food. We could
also use some camping gear as well,” Ken answers.

“Captain
Page
told
us to stay away from the main roads.” I say.

Ken takes an exaggerated glance around. “Does this look
like a main road?”

I take a look and see what he does. A dirt road. The woods
we came out of are now giving way to cornfields on either side of us. There’s scattered
livestock, horses, pigs, goats, cows and chickens grazing and walking freely.

“No,” I answer reluctantly.

“Dad,” Jason warns.

“What!”

“She just asked a valid question.”

“It was a statement. A statement is not a question.”

“Okay, she made a statement. You don’t need to jump all
over her.”

“I didn’t jump all over her.”

“We’re all a little tense,” Ms. Burgess says, interrupting
them. “But yelling at a child will not fix what we’re going through. And like
it or not, we are all going through this together. As a team.”

“I’m not one of your students,” Ken growls.

“You’re not, but I would appreciate it if you didn’t verbally
abuse any of them.”

Ken opens his mouth to reply to her, but quickly closes it.

I was right. He doesn’t like me. And now Ms. Burgess is
forced to defend me. I lower my head, watching my steps as I walk and, on
purpose, slow them.

I fall behind everyone else and it’s okay. I don’t
understand why he reacted so badly to what I said. I wasn’t questioning his
authority back there or now. I hear Jason and Ken begin to argue again. It’s
not loud, it doesn’t have to be.

“Don’t worry about them,” Wade says.

I didn’t even notice that he held back to stay with me.

“Huh? What?” I ask, pretending that I haven’t a clue what
he is talking about. Being shut down publicly is bad enough. I’m already
embarrassed. I don’t need everyone in on it.

“Them,” he says nodding toward Ken and Jason, who are still
going back and forth. But thankfully, since I’m now about ten feet behind them,
I can’t make out what they’re saying. I know that it’s heated because I can see
their facial grimaces and pointing in my direction.

“Don’t mind them. There’s obviously some kind of crazy
family dynamics going on there.”

“Why would you say that?” I say, now studying the men. They’ve
stopped arguing but are still visibly upset with each other.

Wade grunts. “Why wouldn’t I? Look at them. They’ve been
basically at each other’s throat since we hooked up with them.”

I’ve tried to stay out of Ken’s way, not trying to figure
him out. I’m glad they’ve saved us and they’ve decided we can tag along.
Without Ken and Jason we would have been slaves or even raped.

I shrug my indifference. “I don’t know what’s going on
between them, but it’s not my business. They’re helping us get home. That’s all
I care about.”

Wade thrusts his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “We
don’t really need them, you know.”

I can’t help but to give him a hard stare and a frown. Is
he kidding? Ms. Burgess was about to be the Tanner’s wife and we were tied to
stakes in the ground. Who knows what would have happened next?

He glances away sheepishly, holding his head down a little.
“I mean…” He stops talking and gives his head a shake. “They saved us. We
needed them for that.” He looks up and forward. “But now we’re good. We can get
home by ourselves.”

I pull my gaze away from him, taking in the scenery.
Animals run amok, signs of bombings are evident all around, with houses tilted
on their sides, craters in the grass along the road and debris from what used
to be cars or trucks littered about. We wouldn’t survive by ourselves. But I
keep that thought to myself. Wade is a hunter. He knows how to take care of
himself.

The rest of us do not.

Jason peers back at me over his shoulder. He flicks his
gaze over to Wade before settling it back on me, then he turns back around. Mia
looks back at me and raises a brow. I raise a shoulder, not knowing what her
unasked question could be about.

“What?” I whisper.

She rolls her eyes and turns back around.

“She probably wanted to know why Jason was looking at you
like that,” Wade says.

“Looking at me like what?”

He snorts. “Like he was jealous.”

I glance away from Wade, fearing that he’ll be able to read
my face. “Why would he be jealous?”

“C’mon. He’s jealous because we’re walking together.”

I choke a little. “Shut up. That’s not true.”

“Yeah it is. He gets testy every time I’m near you.”

I shake my head, not wanting to hear anymore. “You’re
wrong. You’re reading too much into it. His father snapped at me because I was
getting mouthy back there. Jason
and
Ms. Burgess was trying to take up
for me. That’s all.”

“How can you be so bl—”

I stop him by putting up my hand. “I really don’t want to
talk about this anymore. We’re in an invasion. We have bigger issues to worry
about.”

“I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”

I roll my eyes. “Thank you Wade Hill, but I can take care
of myself.” I want to explain to him that, despite what he might think, I have
years of internal wall building experience. No one is going to hurt this girl.

“Against guys like that?” he asks, sounding concerned.
“Guys like him use girls up and spit them out.”

“He hasn’t done anything to either of us besides save us
from the Tanners, feed us and give us weapons. He really doesn’t deserve for us
to be back here talking about how much of a user he is.”

Jason turns to peer at us over his shoulder again and,
after meeting my eyes for a second, he turns back.

“You’re a challenge. I bet he’s used to getting all the
girls he wants.”

I don’t doubt it. “Let’s drop it alright? I’d rather
concentrate on getting home.”

“You’re right. This isn’t high school.”

“No.” I let out a ragged breath. “This isn’t high school,” I
repeat. I wish it were. I’d be worrying about exams and homework instead of
aliens and people who want to do me harm.

Wade and I walk the next miles in silence. Jason and Ken
don’t say anything to each other. Ms. Burgess is now between them, using her
teacher instincts to keep them apart. Mia and Ian aren’t talking either. They
seem content with holding hands. Shayla and MJ exchange whispers, pointing out
different landmarks along the way to each other.

When we start to come up to where more houses used to be, I
realize we’re now in a more populated area. I want to ask Wade where he thinks
everyone who used to live here has gone off and hid—or if they had even
gotten that chance. But the
air between us is so uncomfortably weird
that I hold my tongue.

Mia leans over
to whisper something into Ian’s ear and afterward steps back to walk beside me
and Wade. “What’s up, chicken butt?”

“Nothin’ here,
cow ears.”

Wade rolls his
eyes. “I see this conversation is about to get real stupid.”

“Stop your
fussin’, English muffin,” Mia says on a giggle.

“Whatever,” Wade
says. He hesitates, but eventually speeds up his steps to catch up with Ian.

“Soooo,” Mia
begins, after Wade leaves us. “What were you and Wade all bent up out of shape
about?

This is almost
too stupid to repeat. “Wade thinks Jason likes me.”

“I think McHottie
likes you too”

“McHottie?”

She nods
toward Jason.

“Yeah, right. He’s
cool. I think he sees me as a little sister or something.”

“Siblings don’t
look at each other the way you two do.”

I whip my gaze
to Jason. He’s so far ahead of us I know he can’t hear anything Mia and I say,
but I want to make sure. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I whisper to
her, trying to convince myself more than her. “We are not looking at each other
any kind of way.”