“Is that because of the fire hazard?” said Melissa.
“No, I would've been careful. It's because I don't want to anymore.”
A tiny knot in the back of Melissa's neck melted. “Where did you get them?” she said.
“I brought them from home. I was afraid I might need them.”
“I don't suppose I could try one?” said Melissa. “Now that I'm almost a teenager.”
“No, I don't suppose you could,” said Sharlene firmly.
Melissa slid deeper into the chair. She didn't really want to smoke a cigarette; it looked like it would be disgusting. She just wanted to see what Sharlene would say. She examined the butterflies on her fingernails. They were pale and silvery in the moonlight.
“You were pretty quiet all evening,” said Sharlene.
Melissa lifted her shoulders up and down.
“Anything happen today?”
“Sort of.” Melissa swallowed. The memory of her fear when she had thought that the fire on the island was going to shoot into the trees was still raw. She hadn't planned to tell Sharlene but the words spilled out now in a rush.
“Alice and I made a fire on the island. I told her I didn't want to, but she wanted to try cooking bannock. The fire got way too big and the wind was blowing the flames everywhere.”
Sharlene didn't say anything but Melissa could tell she was listening intently.
“I was so scared,” whispered Melissa. Suddenly tears started sliding down her cheeks and she felt her entire body start to shake.
“Oh, honey, of course you were scared,” said Sharlene. “My god, it was an incredibly foolish thing to do. But it's over and nothing happened. That's what's important now.”
Melissa wiped her cheeks. “You won't tell Ted, will you?”
“No, I don't think Ted needs to know.” Sharlene frowned. “Alice seems to me like a very troubled girl.”
“She's all right.” Melissa pushed away her confusion over Alice's lies. She took a big breath. “Mom, when the trailer caught on fireâ¦would I have seen the curtains burning?”
“What do you mean?” said Sharlene.
“It's always in the dream,” said Melissa. “Flames are shooting up the curtains in the living room. But I don't remember seeing that.”
“You wouldn't have,” said Sharlene slowly. “At least I don't think so. You were in your bedroom when I found you. We got you and Cody out the bedroom window. But I saw the curtains burning. Maybe I talked about it and you heard me.”
“I don't remember going back to my bedroom.” Melissa could feel tears welling behind her eyes again. “I should have stayed in the kitchen and tried to put the fire out,” she said miserably. “It was all my fault.”
“You were nine years old,” said Sharlene quietly. “You shouldn't have been alone in the kitchen in the first place, especially not with a big pot of cooking oil that I hadn't bothered to put away. That was
my
fault.”
“But maybe I could have stopped it from spreading or something,” Melissa persisted. “If I hadn't run away.”
“Melissa,” said Sharlene, “you were a little kid. You were in horrible pain and you were scared. I'm the one who screwed up. I'm the adult, and it's my job to keep you and Cody safe. And I didn't do that.”
Melissa's chest tightened. “Why didn't you keep us safe?” she whispered.
Sharlene was silent for a long time. Then she said, “Darren and I had been drinking all afternoon. The truth is, we were passed out. That's why it took so long for me to hear you. That's what happened, Melissa, and I will never forgive myself.”
“I wanted so badly to make French fries,” said Melissa slowly. “It looked so easy when you did it. But I don't remember much after that.”
The counselor had explained to Melissa what everyone figured had happened. Melissa had turned on the element under the pot of oil that Sharlene had been using to make French fries the day before. Maybe she had even turned it on high. Oil ignites when it gets too hot, the counselor had said. The flames must have shot up, burning Melissa's hand and setting the cupboards above the stove on fire. No one was sure what Melissa had done after that, but Sharlene had found her in her bedroom, screaming.
“When am I going to stop having the fire dream?” said Melissa.
“I don't know, Mel,” said Sharlene softly. “But I do know that it will stop. One day.”
Sharlene sounded so sure. Melissa shivered. She wasn't ready to go back to bed yet. “Do you think we could have some hot chocolate?”
“I think that's an excellent idea,” said Sharlene. She stood up and stretched. “I'll make it, and you stay here and wrap this blanket around you.”
The plaid blanket from the couch was draped over the back of Sharlene's chair. Melissa pulled it over her shoulders. She listened drowsily to the sounds drifting through the screened window as Sharlene heated up milk on the campstove.
How long had her mother been sitting here in the night, trying desperately not to smoke a cigarette? Had she even been to bed? Maybe she sat here every night after Melissa went to sleep.
Melissa's thoughts floated to Alice. She had been so furious when Melissa put out the fire. A shiver ran up Melissa's back when she remembered Alice's blazing eyes. Tomorrow was Friday, the day Melissa was supposed to jump off the cliff. It had been exactly one week since they made the pact. Would Alice remember? Would she even care? Melissa took a deep breath. None of that mattered anymore. She wasn't going back to Dar Wynd. Not ever. She sighed and huddled deeper into the warmth of the blanket. She felt safe now.
T
he next day, Melissa sunbathed after lunch. At three o'clock she went into the cabin for a cold drink. Cody and Sharlene were napping on their bunk beds. Melissa didn't know what she wanted to do with the rest of the afternoon. She felt a little bit sick. Alice must have figured out by now that she wasn't coming to the island.
Melissa went into her bedroom and dug out the wolf needlepoint kit from her box labeled
Melissa
. She propped herself up on her bed and scanned the instructions. She decided to start with the full moon in the corner of the tapestry. It turned out to be easy, the same slanted stitch with the creamy white wool over and over again, and you definitely couldn't call it
art
. It was more like paint by numbers. But it was something to do.
In the evening, Sharlene declared Melissa the winner of the Flycatcher Lake Boggle Tournament and suggested they move on to something else. Melissa sorted through the boxes of games. Some of them were missing pieces. There was one called Quest that she hesitated over. It had knights and castles and she thought that Alice would love it. Then she put it back on the shelf. She didn't plan on ever seeing Alice again. Melissa finally decided on Chinese Checkers, which delighted Sharlene, who said it was a classic and they had played it at her grandpa's cabin by the hour.
The next day, after breakfast, Sharlene declared that she needed a holiday from studying and took Cody fishing in the canoe. Unaccustomed to having the morning to herself, Melissa roamed around the cabin restlessly. Finally she settled in the shady porch and worked on the needlepoint. When the full moon was finished, Melissa stood up and stretched and went in search of cookies.
The cabin was cool, and Melissa decided to draw at the kitchen table. Just before noon she heard voices from outside on the dock, Cody's high-pitched excited chatter, Sharlene laughing at something and then a third voice. Alice.
Melissa froze, staring at her piece of paper. For a second she wondered wildly if she could flee to her bedroom, but then it was too late. They were all on the porch.
Cody had a fish, just big enough to keep and eat. It was silvery with a pale red stripe down its side. There was a flurry of confusion for a few minutes as Melissa dutifully examined the fish while Cody proudly swung it in her face. Melissa was conscious of Alice standing there quietly, watching.
“We agreed that we weren't coming in until we caught one,” said Sharlene. “We ran out of snacks ages ago and I was beginning to worry about starvation.”
Alice spoke up. “That's a trout. You can eat it. Austin catches them all the time.”
“In that case,” said Sharlene, “we'll put it in ice while I make lunch, and then we'll attempt to clean it. You'll have some lunch with us, Alice? It's just going to be peanut-butter-and-banana sandwiches.”
Alice looked pleased. “Sure. Thanks.”
“I'll help,” said Melissa quickly, avoiding Alice's eyes. Alice drifted over to Cody's pile of toys and helped him load up his dump truck with blocks while Melissa spread peanut butter on bread. Alice
was
good with Cody. She chattered away to him. His voice got louder and louder with excitement but she didn't seem to mind.
Melissa tried to sort out her thoughts as she sliced up a couple of bananas. What was going on? Alice was acting as if that whole horrible thing with the fire had never happened.
They ate inside at the kitchen table. When they were finished, Sharlene took Cody to the outhouse.
“I wondered where you were yesterday,” Alice said casually.
Melissa felt her cheeks redden. She swallowed her last bite of a chocolate-chip cookie and mumbled, “I was just really busy.”
“You missed your jumping day. But of course you know that.” Alice smiled at Melissa. “It doesn't really matter. Wednesday is your new jumping day. I'll probably jump again with you.”
Alice ran her fingers through her cropped hair, making it stand out in a pale cloud around her thin face. “I've written the next part of my story. Mareea's left Elfrida at the pass above the spriggans' valley.”
Wednesday
, thought Melissa. She swallowed.
“The battle scene is going to be exciting.” Alice's voice rose. “It's just Elfrida against all those spriggans so the sword will have to be magical or something.”
Melissa didn't say anything. She tried to imagine what Alice would say when she told her she wasn't going to jump.
“Melissa, come back to Dar Wynd,” said Alice suddenly.
Melissa stiffened.
“Please.” Two blotches of red spread across Alice's cheeks. “I'm sorry I acted like such an idiot.”
Before Melissa could think of a reply, Sharlene and Cody returned. Alice stood up. “Can I help clean up?” she said politely.
“Thanks, Alice, but no,” said Sharlene. “There's nothing really to do. You girls go ahead.”
“In that case, let's go to the island,” said Alice.
“Me too!” shrieked Cody.
“You have a fish to clean, young man,” said Sharlene.
“Are you coming, Melissa?” said Alice.
Melissa drained her glass of lemonade and slowly got up from the table. Alice had sounded really sorry. And besides, Melissa had missed being at Dar Wynd. “Okay,” she said finally.
Alice said they could go in her canoe and she would bring Melissa back to the cabin. Melissa agreed, though secretly she wondered if Alice just wanted a chance to hang around her family again. Melissa pulled hard with her paddle and watched the water stream by in two silver lines on either side of the bow. She puzzled over how weird it was that Alice seemed to actually enjoy playing with Cody. And Alice acted like she didn't mind Sharlene at all. Melissa sighed. She was so used to bracing herself for being embarrassed by her mother that this was a strange feeling.
“Are you listening?” said Alice.
“What?” said Melissa over her shoulder.
“I was telling you about my story,” said Alice crossly.
“Oh,” said Melissa. She pulled her mind to Elfrida and Tristan. “So how is it going to end anyway? Is Elfrida going to save Tristan?”
“Of course,” said Alice. A sharp edge in her voice took Melissa aback. “That's the whole point. Elfrida saves him and brings him back to her family. Elfridaâ”
Alice's voice broke off as the flat rock came into sight. An aluminum boat with a motor was tied to the overhanging tree. “That's Austin's boat,” she said.
Melissa felt an instant surge of disappointment. Austin must have finally finished haying and had come out to the island to hang around with Alice. Having a teenaged boy at Dar Wynd would change everything, no matter how great Alice said he was.
She was suddenly aware that Alice had stopped paddling. When she turned around she saw that Alice's eyes were wide with apprehension.
“What's wrong?” said Melissa.
Alice blinked hard. “Nothing's wrong. Why would anything be wrong? Sometimes, Melissa, you say strange things.” She thrust her paddle back in the water and the canoe bumped up against the rock. Alice scrambled out. Melissa climbed out stiffly beside her.
“He must be at Dar Wynd,” said Alice.
There was no doubt in Melissa's mind now. Alice sounded frightened. Melissa's head whirled with confusion. Why?
At that moment the sound of cracking sticks made both girls turn and stare at the path that led into the woods. A moment later, Austin strode through the trees. He was wearing cutoff jeans and a black T-shirt, and his long dark hair hung over his eyes. In one hand he carried the silver sword; with his other hand he clutched some books to his chest.
His face was twisted with anger. He stopped abruptly. “There you are,” he said, his words stabbing the air. His eyes blazed with fury and a jolt of fear ran through Melissa. What was going on?
“What the hell are you doing with my stuff?” the boy spat. His words snapped like shards of ice. “Who do you think you are, just helping yourself to whatever you want?”
A chill ran up Melissa's spine. Beside her, Alice said, her voice barely louder than a whisper, “It wasn't like that. Honestly.”
“Oh yeah? Then why are my books here? And my sword?”
“I was just borrowing them,” said Alice. “I wasn't hurting anything.”