“Oh.”
He winks. “The challenge is to find a safe topic that doesn’t make you anxious. Any hints?”
That’s a good question. My life is math, school, tutoring, and hanging out with Caroline. “I’m pretty boring, Tucker.”
“I highly doubt that.” There’s a strange tone in his voice that sets off a flutter in my stomach. “Let’s start with the basics. I’d ask you where you’re from, but I suspect it falls under the
not comfortable topics
.”
I nod.
He smiles. “The past sucks. The future is what’s important.”
I laugh. “Says the history major.”
“Well…” A sheepish grin spreads across his face, and he rubs his hand through his hair. “What do you plan to do with your math major?”
“You really want to know?”
His voice turns serious. “Yes, Scarlett. I only want the truth from you.”
I turn to look at him.
“That’s what I love about you. You speak the truth, as painful or as uncomfortable it is for you to say and me to hear. People bullshit me all the time. I need the truth.”
I always worry people think I’m weird or will make fun of my career plans, but looking into Tucker’s face, I know he won’t think it’s odd. “I want to be an analyst for the CIA.”
He pauses. “That’s not something you just come up with. How did you find out about that kind of thing?”
“It was in math club in high school. One of our meetings was about careers with math.”
“Why did it excite you?”
My head swings to face him. “Why do you think it excites me?”
“Your eyes widened just a bit and got a sparkle that wasn’t there before.”
“That’s kind of scary, Tucker.” But I’m not frightened for my physical safety, more for my emotional. I wonder what else he sees in me that no one else does.
He shakes his head then shrugs. “I just pay attention. I read people.”
I do this in my own way, study people so I know where I stand and how to react. Tucker and I are more alike than I realize.
“You didn’t answer my question,” he says. “Why does it excite you?”
“I don’t know.” It’s my turn to shrug. “I guess because I can use something I love to help people and it seems like a challenge. Maybe because it seems so unlike me.”
He gives me a soft smile. “I happen to like you the way you are.”
“You don’t even know me.”
Seriousness creeps into his eyes. “I think I know you better than you think.”
We walk in silence for several steps, and I know that Tucker’s confession should scare me and on some level it does, but mostly it fills me with wonder. For twenty years, I’ve kept myself, the real me, hidden from everyone. Even Caroline who knows me better than anyone doesn’t see it all. Could someone really see past the walls I put up and see
me
?
“And how does someone become an analyst for the CIA?”
“A minimum of a bachelor’s degree, although a master’s degree would help. I’m going to apply my senior year and see if they accept me without one. I’m not sure I can afford the tuition for a master’s. I’ve got a 4.0. I’m preparing for the GRE. My English and writing skills are strong, and I’m semi-fluent in Arabic. I’m a strong candidate on paper.”
“Why do I sense a but in there?”
I take a deep breath. “Oral communication is important.”
“Oh.” He pauses. “You can do it, Scarlett. You’ll be fine.”
I wish I were so sure.
We’ve already circled the track once, and Tucker is still walking at a brisk pace. “One more time around,” he says.
“And what about you? What do you plan to do with a history major?”
His mouth twists to the side. “Honestly? I have no idea.”
“Then why major in it?”
He laughs. “First of all, unlike you, not everyone in college is hyper-focused on their career plans. But you might find it hard to believe I’m not one of those students.” He winks. “I’m majoring in history because the major I want wasn’t an option.”
“And what do you want to major in?”
His face is devoid of emotion as he studies me. I can see he’s trying to decide whether he can trust me. “Physical education.”
I shake my head. “I don’t understand. It seems like the perfect fit.”
“My parents have very definite ideas about my career path, and my major has nothing to do with that.”
“You mean soccer?”
He takes a deep breath and nods. “I’m good, and I have a shot at the pros.”
“But you don’t want that?”
“I don’t know what I want.”
“I don’t believe that.”
He shoots me an odd look but doesn’t answer.
“Why can’t you major in physical education?”
“If I go pro, and I’m successful, I can’t go back and teach kids P.E.”
“Why not?”
“Can you imagine David Beckham teaching high school students?”
“Did you seriously just equate yourself to David Beckham?”
Tucker bursts out laughing. “Where the hell have you been hiding?”
“Living in Shelbyville, Tennessee.”
His eyes widen in surprise at my revelation. I figure if I insulted him, the least I can do is give him something from my past.
“It seems to me that you’re pinning a lot on a dream that isn’t even yours.”
He shrugs.
We walk in silence, but it’s not uncomfortable, despite how our conversation ended. When we’re about to reach our starting point, Tucker points to it. “We’re about to start jogging. We’ll go halfway around, then walk, then jog halfway, then walk. Then we’ll see how you’re doing.”
“Okay.”
“I’m going to be watching you and checking your form so you can correct any bad habits before they start.”
We start to jog and Tucker keeps his attention on me. “Eyes ahead, Scarlett. Don’t look down. Your shoulders are too tense. Let them relax.”
“That’s a lot to think about while I’m running.”
“I thought you like to think.”
“Not while I’m running.” I puff out.
He laughs. “We’re just getting warmed up.”
We run several strides.
“Your arms are good, but don’t clench your fists.”
We reach the halfway mark, and Tucker slows to a fast walk.
“Am I this bossy when I tutor you?” I wheeze.
“No. I’m just naturally bossy, and you’re naturally nice. We’re a good balance.”
“Lucky for you,” I grumble.
He laughs. “I totally got the better end of the deal.”
We go around the track three more times, the last round, he has me run at quarter lengths. Tucker has watched my pace, slowing down to make sure I’m not too winded, then picking it up when I caught my breath. I’m tired, but I don’t feel like I’m about to pass out on the side of the track. We slow to a walk that’s not as brisk.
“This is your cool down. Some people skip it, but it’s important to let your body slow down.”
I nod, catching my breath.
We walk around once, then Tucker picks up our water bottles and hands me one. “Now we need to stretch.”
We move to the side of the track and Tucker takes me through a series of leg stretches. I’m surprised how good they feel. We sit on the floor, just finishing butterfly stretches. Tucker grins at me. “Well?”
“Well what?” I tease.
“What did you think?”
“While I’m not a huge diehard fan of running at the moment, I can see the benefits. I feel more relaxed.” Although if I’m truthful, I’m not sure if the run has relaxed me or if it’s Tucker. “But I
do
know that you are an excellent tutor. Thank you.”
“Do you want to do this again? I have to work out four or five days a week. It gets pretty boring, and I’ve been anything but bored tonight.”
“I don’t see how you got a workout if you’re slowing down to my level.”
He shakes his head. “It’s the offseason, Scarlett. As long as I’m working out somehow, I’m good.” Tucker gets to his feet then reaches down to help me up. His hand feels right in mine, which catches me by surprise. But he lets go and picks up his bag, and we head to the exit.
Tucker went out of his way to do something nice for me. The least I can do is help him. “You said you were nervous about your test on Thursday. If it makes you more comfortable, we can get together tomorrow or Thursday before your algebra class.”
He opens the door to the lobby and looks down at me. “I don’t want to inconvenience you, Scarlett.”
“Tucker, if you need more tutoring sessions, we can set something up. I want you to feel comfortable when you go in to take your test.”
We go over our schedules and determine that we’re both free tomorrow from eleven until our noon classes.
“We’ll need to meet on campus.” He sounds anxious, which catches me by surprise. “But we can’t meet in the library.”
“Why not?”
He shakes his head. “I just can’t.”
I’d suspect he’d goofed around in the library and gotten banned, but he seems genuinely anxious. “Okay. No library. Where?”
“We could meet at the coffee shop.”
I hesitate. Our first meeting was there, and that was disastrous. And I’m getting coffee with Daniel at the same place tomorrow. But why should that matter? It just means I’ll already be there. “How about I meet you at the coffee shop, and if it’s too noisy, we can go somewhere else.”
“Thanks.” He releases a heavy breath of relief.
“No, thank you. There might be something to this exercise thing.”
He opens the outer doors, following me outside. “Where are you parked?”
I tell him, and we walk in silence, but it’s not awkward. I’m amazed how comfortable I am with him.
We stop next to my car, and Tucker smiles. “Thanks for tonight.”
I laugh. “You’re the one who helped me. Why are you thanking me?”
“Because for the first time in a long time, I had fun working out.” He hesitates, then opens my car door. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
As I drive away, I shake my head in confusion. Just when I think I’ve figured Tucker out, he shows me another side, confusing me even more.
Chapter Thirteen
Daniel is waiting for me after set and logic on Monday, and I suppress a cringe. What am I going to do about this situation?
“I don’t have time to have coffee with you,” he says, his eyes apologetic. “I’ve got to meet my advisor, but I didn’t want to make you think I’d stood you up.”
I smile. He really is a nice guy. He deserves better than me stringing him along.
“I realized I didn’t have your number to text you.”
“Oh.” I pull out my phone and he takes it from my hand to enter his number.
“If you want to get ahold of me”—he looks up and grins—“for any reason, feel free to call or text.”
“Thanks,” I say, looking at my phone in his hand.
He hands it back. “I’ll see you Wednesday, unless you decide you want to see me sooner.” His meaning is clear.
“Thanks.” I still can’t make myself look at him.
“You look like you’re feeling better.”
“Yeah,” I shrug and finally look up. “I’m much better. Thanks.”
He walks backward down the hall. “I’ll talk to you later.”
“Bye.”
I didn’t have my morning coffee at home in anticipation of meeting Daniel so I head to the coffee shop without him and wait in the line to place my order.
“I heard he’s actually
seeing
someone.” A girl in front of me says to her friend. “He was supposed to go to Scott’s party on Saturday night, and he never showed.”
The second girl lowers her chin and lifts her eyebrows. “Tucker Price skipped a party? What? Was he in jail?”
My ears perk up at the mention of Tucker’s name, but I try not to look too interested.
“No, he stayed home. Jason said he was doing homework. On a Saturday night. How insane is that?”
“Was he with someone?”
“
He stayed home
. You know he never takes girls to his place. And Jason said he was at his place. All weekend.”
Tucker’s alleged activity this weekend goes against everything Caroline is always telling me as well. And who’s Jason? I know he’s the dark-headed guy who talked to Tucker at the gym, but is he Tucker’s roommate?
I spend the rest of my time before Arabic trying to study, but I spend more time thinking about Tucker, and the gossip I overheard. What does it mean? Why should it matter to me? But Tucker and I are friends. He even admitted it. Doesn’t that give me the right to care?
The rest of the afternoon flies by in math lab, and I’m exhausted when I leave ten minutes late. Tucker’s standing in the shadows in the hall. He grins when he sees me.
“Tucker, what are you doing here?”
“We did it, Scarlett. We got a B-plus.”
I stop in front of him, my heart bursting with pride. “No, you did it, Tucker.
You
got a B-plus.”
He turns serious. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”
Shaking my head, I smile. “You could have easily had another tutor help you. This was all you. You just needed to have the steps explained slower.”
“Well, thanks.” He hands me a brown gift bag he had hidden behind him. His shoulders hunch as though he’s worried I’ll refuse.
My heart flutters, and I feel lightheaded. But not in the way I usually feel when I’m anxious. This is pleasant. “What’s this?”
“A thank-you for helping me.”
I look up at him and smile. Other than Caroline and Tina, I can’t think of the last time someone has given me a gift. The bag is heavier than I expected. “What is it?”
“Open and see.”
Gifts make me awkward. People watch while I open them, and although I’m used to Tucker staring at me, he’s waiting for my reaction. That makes me more anxious than usual. I pull out the white tissue paper and start to transfer it to my other hand, but Tucker takes it from me, his mouth pressed into a tight line.
He’s nervous. Confident Tucker is nervous. Why?
Tilting the bag, I look inside and pull out a rounded object. It’s an alarm clock, but the face of the clock has equations in place of the numbers.
“I saw it and thought about you. It’s kind of stupid…”
I glance up at him, smiling. “I love it.”