Adversity (8 page)

In the end, I managed to listen to some
of the stories, feeling a certain kind of unexpected bliss at the
idea my grandmother wouldn’t be easily forgotten by other people
besides myself. Afterward, most of us took all of the vibrant
plants that decorated the room to the graveyard. I was glad to see
Abbi didn’t join us. The fact that she was friends with Dawn was
all the reason I needed to be glad. I would never forget how they
treated me on my first day at school.

On the way to the graveyard, I heard
some “old biddies,” as Perdita called them, openly mock us for the
“performance,” but I didn’t care. They meant nothing to me. They
couldn’t hurt me.

My family could.

I tried to take my grandfather’s
hand, a movement I’d made a million times before, but he shrugged
me off and edged away, leaving me feeling as though a bucket of
ice-cold water had been thrown all over me. I tried to speak to
Nathan, but he brushed me off as well, tightening up with a rage I
couldn’t explain. Tired of everyone, I stuck by Perdita, who seemed
as annoyed by Nathan as I was. I liked that about her. She could
still be bothered by him, and she didn’t automatically run after
him when he acted like a… like a…
werewolf
.

My grandmother had been too submissive
on the rare occasion Opa was being unreasonable. She’d give in
without a fuss and wait for the sweetness and light to come back. I
had always assumed her easy forgiveness was a symptom of the curse.
Now I wasn’t so sure. Then again, I wasn’t sure of anything
anymore. The uncertainty seemed to clog my pores, making it hard
for me to follow through on a thought.

Perdita still managed to irritate me,
putting on her sceptical face when I mentioned leaving flowers on
old graves. I didn’t want to be forgotten; why would anyone else?
It bothered me that she still had that narrow-minded reaction to
anything new, despite everything that had happened. She would see
so much more to life if she could open her mind. I supposed I
should have gone easier on her. After all, something supernatural
was going to kill her before her time. Maybe her denying what was
out there helped her cope.

On the way back, Byron beckoned me to
walk next to him. All five of my family members grouped together,
but we had no closeness or unity.

“
Be polite to the guests,”
Opa said under his breath. “And let’s hope this is over as quickly
as possible.”

“
This is supposed to be
special,” I blurted in surprise.

He turned his head to glare at me.
“There is nothing special about this exposure.”

“
Mémère would have liked
it,” Nathan insisted, and I felt grateful for the support,
particularly when the scorn coming from Jeremy’s direction was
enough to last me a lifetime.

“
It’s about time you all
faced up to the fact she’s gone,” Opa said bitterly before speeding
up to speak to Jeremy alone.

Nathan and Byron exchanged glances that
seemed to say they knew what the other was thinking. Walking
between them, I was left out, yet again.

The tension only increased at
home. The people, our neighbours, all wanted to nose about and see
how we lived. And we put ourselves on show. For what? I had no
idea. I didn’t have much time to consider it because Opa demanded
an audience with all of us, including Perdita. It was clear to me
how much he had changed. Byron looked as though he could barely
contain himself, but he said and did nothing. A part of me
shriveled up inside, because I didn’t
recognise
my grandfather anymore. I had hoped Byron would fix things
and make everything go back to normal, but perhaps that wasn’t
possible.

Byron kept quiet, even as Opa acted
like a stranger and insulted people. Only Nathan spoke up, which
got us kicked out of the not so happy reunion. We didn’t learn
anything except the fact that Jeremy had been in Turkey. Oh, and
Opa had somehow had his body possessed. At least I hoped that was
the reason he was acting so coldly toward us.

The cause of Nathan’s bad mood
soon revealed itself. He’d gotten into his head that Jeremy was
some kind of cradle-snatching pervert who had set his heart on
Perdita. Jeremy laughed it off, but he
had
been staring at Perdita. I knew why, and
the reason was not because he wanted her for himself. No, everyone
wanted to see the one who had stepped up and taken action in the
face of danger. She was the heroine of the piece, the one who
hadn’t fallen apart at the seams.

So when he made fun of her, I laughed.
And I wasn’t ashamed. I wanted someone else to know how it felt to
be seen as the helpless little girl for a change.

The conversation bored me, or so I
pretended. I couldn’t bear listening to Nathan and Jeremy go on and
on about how freaking awesome it was to be a werewolf. Up until
recently, becoming a werewolf was that one thing out of my grasp
that I’d desperately wanted, but not anymore, not since I saw
firsthand what werewolves were capable of doing. I wasn’t part of
the gang, so I dragged Perdita away, though the others seemed to
barely notice.

I tried to make conversation with her,
but she was so on edge that her nerves played on mine, until I had
to hang out with her family to calm down.

“
Hey, Mrs. Rivers. Oh, wait,
that’s wrong. Isn’t it?”

Perdita’s grandmother grinned at me.
“It’s Mrs. Devlin, actually. But you can call me Ruth.”

“
Can I get you a drink or
food or anything?”

“
No, but thank you. This has
been a really lovely day, Amelia. I’m sure your grandmother would
be very proud of the way you’ve handled yourself today. She
certainly made sure you were brought up well.”

Her words were meaningless platitudes,
but I had to look away to wipe the tear from my eye. I felt relaxed
being around people who had no idea werewolves existed. Perdita was
paranoid all of the time, and then there was the guilt. How I
wished she would get over the whole murder issue. I was frustrated
watching her suffer at her own hands. After all, she took down the
bad guy. Wasn’t that how the story was supposed to end? Weren’t we
supposed to get some kind of happy ever after?

Um, no.

Maybe the lies hadn’t ended. I glared
at my grandfather who spoke to Perdita. How did I know they were
keeping me up to date on what was going on? I was Amelia, the
afterthought or the kid who had to be wrapped up in cotton wool.
Take your pick. I wanted to feel something other than regret or
loneliness. I wanted to know if I should be afraid or not. Byron
kept reassuring me, but I was aware that he never left me alone. My
entire world had changed, and I didn’t know how to move on from
that. Apparently, neither did Perdita.

I watched her from afar as she fidgeted
at her bracelet and twisted her hair, her eyes darting from side to
side as if an attack would come at any second. The girl was a
nervous wreck, which made her almost impossible to be
around.

Not that I could talk. I was as angry
as Nathan. A growing aggression snaked around my body, suffocated
me with its intensity, and squeezed the happiness from me. I wanted
to scream, and make someone listen so I could demand answers. I was
the kid nobody was paying attention to, and I could only hear
answers they felt I should hear. That sucked.

Ruth tensed next to me. “What on earth
is your grandfather doing?”

Coming back to earth, I watched him
grip Perdita’s arm while she twisted to get away.

I had no idea what was going on—as
usual—but I had a feeling I needed to distract Ruth. Words, though,
wouldn’t rise to my lips. Once again, I was ineffective when
needed, the story of my life.

Perdita ran off, shouting something, and
my grandfather followed her with a creepy smile on his face. Ruth
frowned at me, but before she could speak, the screaming started.
For a second, I froze.

“
Perdy,” Ruth choked
out.

“
I… I’ll check on her,” I
stuttered, then saw the shock and confusion on the faces of the
people around me. Some of them ran outside in the directions of the
screams, and I followed. Blood spread in a pool on the ground, and
Perdita screamed at my grandfather.

My mouth watered.

Horrified, I held my breath, but I was
still affected. I could almost taste the tang of blood on my
tongue. I knew Perdita would never forgive me because her father
lay on the ground, so badly injured from a werewolf attack that he
couldn’t get back up. She caught my eye. She was so angry, and I
did nothing because I could have sworn she saw the guilt in my
eyes.

Everything happened in a mad rush after
that. People ran around, their voices confused and frightened as
they discussed wild dogs. The ambulance and police showed up.
Nathan’s pupils dilated rapidly as his wolf fought for control.
Byron finally sent him indoors. I couldn’t handle much more of the
chaos and tension.

Everything that was happening was my
fault. The werewolves had come for me in the first place. Also, I
had wished ill will on Perdita. My wish had come through in ways I
had never wanted.

“
Opa! What’s happening?” I
asked, relief flooding through me at the sight of him striding
toward me. He would fix everything.

“
Not now.” He literally
pushed me aside.

I searched the house for Nathan, but I
found him in a rage, and his anger terrified me enough to send me
running away from him. I sobbed as I curled up on the sofa, but
Jeremy ignored me, his stance tense as he waited for everyone to
leave. Even Nathan didn’t say a word when he finally came
downstairs. And then we all gathered together, the entire family. I
watched their faces and saw the hate, distrust and betrayal. I was
so confused. Opa made it sound as if he’d wanted the female wolf,
who had stalked Perdita for months, to attack her dad, but that
couldn’t be true. No matter what had happened, I couldn’t believe
my Opa would ever want another person to be hurt for any reason. So
why did he order Nathan to stay away from Perdita?

I knew I couldn’t face her. She would
see the guilt in my eyes and sense the things I had done to wrong
her. I had wished her pain. I had wanted to taste the blood. Some
instinct deep inside me had longed for it. What was I turning
into?

I hated myself.

Nathan ran off, and I was sent out of
the room as if I were a child. I hung around outside the room and
listened in on Opa’s conversation, but I wished I hadn’t. His
explanations only made everything worse.

“
None of this makes sense,”
Byron said. “Why would you allow them to attack us if you knew they
would come? Why wouldn’t you warn us? Ensure that we kept people
away from the house?”

“
They need to think we’re
distracted by today. That we’re easy to get to,” Opa replied
earnestly.

“
And at least we know
they’re around now,” Jeremy added.

“
If you thought she’d come for
him, then why allow him to be here at all? Why did anyone have to
get hurt? Have you any idea how much more complicated this
makes
life
here for us? All eyes are on us. We can’t make a move.”
Byron sounded furious.

“
We won’t be sticking around
after this,” Opa said. I gasped. I didn’t want to move. Not again.
Opa must have heard me because he rushed from the room to confront
me.

“
What are you doing?” he
shouted.

“
I… nothing. I’m waiting for
Nathan,” I stuttered, for the first time in my life truly afraid of
my grandfather. He made the most of his height, inching toward me
menacingly as if
I
were the enemy.

“
Get upstairs.” The growl
rumbled in his throat, and a shiver of something new ran through
me. As if compelled, I turned around and ran straight upstairs. I
couldn’t stop myself. I hid in my bedroom until Nathan returned to
his own room. I listened to him pace, and I flinched as something
was flung at the wall and landed with a loud thud.

I worked up the courage to knock on
Nathan’s bedroom door so I could get all my concerns off my chest,
but when he let me in, I couldn’t find the right words. I made it
worse for both of us.

He asked me to go see Perdita because
Opa had used an alpha order to keep him away from her, but I
couldn’t say yes. I hadn’t even really believed Nathan would obey
that particular rule until I found myself moving unwillingly at
Opa’s command. I knew I made Nathan hate me by refusing to go and
visit Perdita on his behalf, but how could I possibly face her
again? He was so angry… angrier than I had ever seen him before. I
didn’t want to discuss it, so I took the only way out. I cried and
ran away.

Opa called us all together for dinner
later on, which was more awkward than ever. Nathan and Jeremy left
soon afterwards, while Byron and Opa holed themselves up in Byron’s
office, leaving me alone.

I used the spirit board again. I
couldn’t help myself. There was nothing else for me to do, and I
felt as though my skin couldn’t contain me. I might explode for
want of doing something. The presence stayed for a couple of
minutes, but only repeated the same couple of sentences.