Authors: Sarah McCarty
Finally, Petunia could get a word in edgewise. “I’m sure his reputation will survive.”
“He’s a good man,” Hester said. “And he’s Hell’s Eight. A Texas Ranger and proud. What makes you think he wants to be thought of as a low-down despoiler of women?”
Luisa and Maddie looked at Hester askance. Petunia sagged in exasperation. Damn it. Why did Hester have to make sense? Why did she have to keep hammering this point? Why did Petunia have to care? About Ace. About honor. About any of this. Smoothing her hair back, she asked, “Is there a lot of talk?”
“Enough.”
“There might have been sympathy before about the Comanche, but once Ace spent the night...” Maddie sighed.
“You are the teacher of the children. People worry for the little ones.”
“That’s ridiculous! I’m a Wayfield, for heaven’s sake.”
“Your family name means nothing here.”
No, she realized, it didn’t. Along with leaving behind the protection of her family’s money, she’d left behind the protection of their reputation. “No, I don’t suppose it does.”
“Caden isn’t happy,” Maddie confessed.
Petunia pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to stop the encroaching headache. She was tired. She just wanted to take a nap, not sit here having a pointless debate. “Don’t tell me you talked to him about it.”
Maddie’s “It’s not right, Petunia” wasn’t any more encouraging than her “Ace may do what he wants with the women over in the saloon but with a good woman, there are limits.”
“I think we should call the preacher,” Luisa said, arms folded across her chest. “Then there will be no more of this nonsense. Ace will be a man and make the proposal.” Letting the curtain drop, she nodded emphatically. “I will speak to Antonio about it.”
Petunia could feel the walls closing in. “The situation doesn’t need a preacher. It just needs to be left alone.”
Luisa and Maddie exchanged a guilty glance. The one Hester shot Petunia was a knowing one. Damn her, she just smiled that knowing smile. She’d told Petunia she couldn’t contain this and leave it to feed on itself. That it was unfair to Ace. Petunia hadn’t believed her then, but now, seeing that shared look between Maddie and Luisa, she had a sinking feeling Hester had been right.
“Maddie, what did you do?”
“I was upset...” she began.
“About what?” Petunia pressed.
“About what happened to you. About Ace. The way he treated you.”
“He treated me like a gentleman. You had no reason to think otherwise.”
Maddie wouldn’t look at her. “Sometimes I can’t separate what’s me and what’s others. I was crying.”
Oh, God.
“Caden saw...”
Oh, my God.
Maddie’s tears would make everything more critical to Caden.
“He grabbed the shotgun.”
“Good!” Luisa exclaimed. She reached over and patted Petunia’s leg. “Caden, he’s a good man. He will set this to right.”
Petunia didn’t need it to be set right. She didn’t need Ace pinned down by the business end of a shotgun and forced to marry her. She’d wanted to be made love to. She’d wanted to feel like a woman not a victim. She’d wanted a lover, not a lifetime. How could she explain that to these women? That Ace had offered marriage, and she’d refused? Maddie and Luisa wouldn’t understand and to Hester it would be a slap in the face.
“In my day, men did not play fast and loose with a woman’s reputation,” Luisa continued.
“I agree.”
How could Maddie agree? “Maddie, you
lived
with Caden before you married him.”
“We were discreet.”
Petunia dropped her hand to her side. “Your fights were legendary. There was a whole betting board set up in the saloon.”
“But there was never any doubt in anyone’s mind but mine that we were getting married. Caden had ‘mine’ written all over anything pertaining to us.”
“Uh-huh. And Ace doesn’t when it comes to Petunia?” With a shake of her head, Hester picked up her breakfast tray. “I can’t listen to any more of this foolishness. I’m going to see what the children are up to.”
“I never thought I’d say this, but I am ashamed of Ace Parker,” Luisa said as the door closed behind Hester. Through the wood came the sound of Hester’s disgusted huff.
Maddie sighed. “I never expected such behavior from him. It goes against everything Hell’s Eight stands for.”
Petunia sighed. She couldn’t let this continue. “You can stop fretting. Ace is all you thought. He asked me to marry him last night.”
Like a struck match, Maddie’s expression brightened.
“He did?”
She nodded. “He did.”
Luisa jerked her apron down. “I knew he was an honorable man.”
Petunia held up her hands. “Don’t get all excited. I said no.”
Both women just stared at her. Maddie found her voice first. “But why?”
Petunia didn’t know how to say it so they’d understand. She settled for “Because as much as I needed to feel whole again, I don’t want to be married.”
Luisa folded her arms across her ample bosom and glared at Petunia. With a jerk of her chin, she motioned Maddie toward the door. “You, you go fetch the gun from your husband. I will get the preacher.”
“The preacher isn’t going to change my mind.”
“Why not?” Luisa snapped.
“What happened to me was beyond my or anyone’s control. I will not pay the rest of my life for something over which I had no control.”
Luisa pursed her lips. Her arms didn’t unfold. Maddie plucked at her sleeve.
She might as well hear it now. “What?”
Shrugging, Maddie said, “You didn’t say anything about Ace spending the night with you. You had control over that.”
“I’m a grown woman. He’s a grown man. What we choose to do is between us.”
“There could be consequences.” That was from Maddie.
Petunia blinked.
“Bambinos,”
Luisa clarified unnecessarily.
Petunia didn’t need to speak Italian to know what that meant. A baby?
“Unless you know how to protect yourself from getting with child?” Maddie offered.
“There are ways to stop such a thing?” She hadn’t even thought about pregnancy.
“Well—” Maddie sighed “—that answers that.”
Still standing there, arms crossed like a guard at a prison, Luisa huffed, “The best way to stop
such things
is not to lie down with a man.”
Maddie rolled her eyes. “That horse has long since bolted from the barn, Luisa. You can’t keep harping on it. It’s done.”
“This harping could keep it from happening again.”
She could be pregnant. The idea kept circling Petunia’s mind. “It was only one time.”
“One time is all that’s needed.”
“With any man,” Luisa added.
It took Petunia a moment to realize what Luisa implied. “The Comanche didn’t rape me. They tried but they’d had too much to drink by the time they remembered I was there.”
Maddie nodded. “Nothing gives a man more inspiration and less wherewithal than liquor.”
“Thank the
buon Dio
.”
Sadness tinged Maddie’s smile. “There’ve been times in my life when I was grateful for that particular combination of alcohol and ability, too.”
A baby.
Petunia couldn’t get the thought out of her mind.
“How does a woman—” she waved with her hand filling in all the unmentionables “—know?”
“That she is
incinta
?”
“If that means with child, yes.”
It was Maddie that answered. “Missing your menses is a sure sign if you’re regular.”
She’d just had hers the week before, but she wasn’t always regular.
“Another will be you get sick for no reason.”
“I don’t have any of those signs.” Though she was feeling a bit queasy at the thought of a baby. Queasy and then a little excited. As the years had passed, she’d accepted she’d never have a child. “Aren’t I too old?”
“Who told you that?”
She shrugged. “I just assumed.”
Luisa snorted. “This is such nonsense.
Dio
blesses women of all ages.”
Again, that inner falter between hope and horror.
Maddie cocked her head to the side. “What will you do if you are with child? Would you have it?”
“Maddie!” Luisa looked horrified. “Such talk is sin.”
Petunia hadn’t even known there was an option. For a modern woman, she was amazingly uninformed in the basics.
Maddie shrugged. “Such talk is truthful.”
“I imagine I would go home.”
Luisa nodded her approval and came and sat beside her on the bed. “Family is important.”
“If they’ll accept you and a baby,” Maddie added, taking a seat on her other side.
Both women waited. She didn’t know what to say. Petunia hoped her father would accept an illegitimate child, but she didn’t know. He valued his reputation and standing in the community. It would probably be easier if it were a boy. He desperately wanted a son to carry on the Wayfield name. Either way he could afford to buy some acceptance within the community. But his willingness to do so? She truly didn’t know. Her stomach churned.
“
Will
they accept you?” Luisa asked gently.
“I don’t know.”
Patting her thigh, Luisa said, “You will always have a place with us.”
Doing what? She couldn’t teach school as an unwed mother. Wouldn’t be able to work in any decent establishment. She’d be like Hester, trapped between a rock and a hard place. How would she support her child? Luisa was right. A reputation was a valuable but fragile thing.
It was Maddie who surprised her. Standing abruptly, she smiled encouragingly. “These things have a way of working out.”
Luisa looked at her askance. “But we came to talk sense to her.”
“I know, but I’ve decided we don’t need to.”
“Why do we not?”
Maddie straightened her skirts. “Because I have dough to prepare, you have a lunch shift to run, but mostly because Petunia knows what she’s doing.”
She’d thought she did. Luisa looked as skeptical as Petunia felt. Maddie, on the other hand, glowed with optimism.
Luisa stood. “She did not even know one time could make a child.”
Petunia continued to sit, feeling queasy, torn and a bit foolish.
Maddie smiled. “But Ace did.”
Luisa
pshawed
. “That one. He is a gambler.”
“Ace gambles with money, but never with anything that matters.”
And a child would matter to Ace.
Luisa said, “Still, I will send Antonio by to check on her. A woman alone cannot be too careful.”
Behind Luisa’s back, Maddie made a face. Petunia wanted to make it back, but she didn’t. Luisa was a good woman, and she was looking out for her. They were at the door before Petunia remembered.
“Wait a minute. With all the excitement, I forgot to ask.”
“What?”
“I want to get the children together later.”
“For what?” Hester appeared in the doorway, flipping through some envelopes in her hand. “The mail came.”
“After lunch, I want to take the children out on an excursion.”
“Where to?” Luisa asked.
“It’s almost Christmas.”
Hester nodded and looked up. “And?”
“I want to get a Christmas tree.”
Hester blinked. “A what?”
“A Christmas tree. We’ll put it in the parlor and decorate it. It will be our project.”
“I’ve heard of that,” Maddie piped in. “There’s a picture of one in the catalog. They sell ornaments for it. You set it up in the house and decorate it. I could bake cookies!”
“A tree in the house?” Hester parroted.
“We always had one back home.” That wasn’t exactly true. They’d only started a few years ago, but she loved the idea and the sense of continuity it gave her. Every year finding different ornaments. Learning to make new ones. It gave her a connection to the past and to the future. It was a gift she wanted to pass on. “The children need a distraction, and frankly so do I.”
Hester didn’t have an argument for that, though she still seemed doubtful. “Are you sure you’re up to it?”
Beyond the ache of a few bruises, she was fine. She was a very lucky woman. If Ace and Luke hadn’t have come along when they did... She didn’t like to think of that. “Yes, I’m sure.”
“I’m not sure it’s safe,” Hester interjected.
“I will ask Ace to escort us,” Maddie countered.
It was hardly the enthusiastic response she was looking for. Clearly nobody around here had heard of a Christmas tree. But it was a lovely, fun tradition, and it would catch on here as it had back East. And even if it didn’t, the tree made her think of peace and harmony and celebrating and all the good things that had been missing in her life for the past year. All the good things she thought she’d never experience again when the Comanche had carried her away. In the wake of her abduction, she was finding tradition important to her. And today, she needed to build forward.
“But right now I need some sleep.” She tugged back covers, wincing at the pull on her muscles. She was exhausted. “I was thinking after lunch.”
Hester shook her head. “I don’t know what Ace is going to think, cutting down a perfectly good tree and putting it in the house.”
Neither did she. He might think she was crazy. He might think it was charming. He might not care anyway at all. But she wanted to know. And darn it, she wanted him to approve.
“I guess we’ll all see if he shows up.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
T
HEY
WERE
ALL
waiting for her downstairs after lunch. A more skeptical crowd she’d never seen. Phillip, Brenda, Terrance, Hester and Ace. The last made her heart skip a beat. He’d come.
A shiver went down her spine as her gaze met his. The squeaky stair groaned under her foot. As she grabbed the rail, he took a step forward. The tenderness between her thighs took on erotic significance. Her breath caught. She gave him a tentative smile. He raised an eyebrow. A shiver went down her spine.
“Luisa couldn’t make it?” she asked, a little breathlessly.
“Antonio needed her.”
She figured that would be the case. There were a couple other restaurants in town, but they weren’t the quality of Antonio’s, and business was steadily growing. “And Maddie?”
So that just left Hester and Ace as the adults along. Almost like a date. She arched her brow at Hester when she handed her her coat. The smile she got back could have meant anything.
It was Ace that answered. “Caden needed her.”
There was something in the way he drawled that that brought a flush to her cheeks.
“Well, then,” she said to the children cheerfully, “we’ll have to have enough fun for them, too, won’t we?”
Terrance looked at her as though he wanted to say something, but bit his tongue. Phillip rolled his eyes. Brenda, being younger, nodded eagerly. Clearly, no one thought Christmas-tree hunting would be fun. Including Ace. Her lips felt stiff when she smiled at him. Her hand touched her stomach, and she couldn’t stop the wonder, would a child between them have his eyes?
“Well, I’m glad you could join us.”
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world. It isn’t often someone cuts down a perfectly good tree and drags it into the house.”
“Are you looking for boasting rights?”
“Absolutely.” He held out his hand. “When I tell the story, I’ll be able to end it with, ‘And I was there.’”
Placing her hand in his, she let him help her down the last step. Awareness crackled between them.
Her “Is that the only reason?” was a bit breathless.
The wicked edge to his smile as he slowly grazed his fingers along hers and stepped back did nothing to steady her breathing.
“That, and I could use the fresh air.”
That would be true if he was a pasty-faced gambler, but Ace brought the feel of the outside with him everywhere. His skin was tanned and vibrant, his eyes snapping with life and his mouth... She licked her lips. She did like his mouth, especially the way the right side quirked just a little bit higher than the left.
She forced more cheerfulness into her tone than she actually felt. “Is everybody ready for our first Christmas-tree hunt?”
“Is it like an Easter-egg hunt?” Terrance asked.
She’d told the children stories of holidays from her youth. Terrance had been fascinated with the concept.
“No, it’s much more specific.”
Phillip cocked his head. “How?”
She pulled her gloves out of her pocket. “Because it can’t be just any tree. It has to be one that can hold our hopes for our loved ones and the New Year.”
The children’s eyes widened.
“That’s a tall order,” Ace said.
She nodded. “Of course. That’s why it’s a hunt.”
“And you think we’re going to find it around here?” Hester asked.
She nodded. “I do, because Christmas is a magic time. And magic is everywhere.”
“Better not let the preacher hear you say that,” Ace warned so no one else could hear.
“Better not tattle, then,” she warned just as softly.
He laughed and leaned back and spoke loud enough so the others could hear. “I do like the way you think, Miss Wayfield.”
Hester snorted. The children giggled. And that fast the mood lightened.
“And so we’re going to find a tree to put in the living room and then,” she continued, “we are going to have a whole bunch of fun decorating it. We can bake cookies. We’ll cut out special decorations. We will—” she paused dramatically “—do Christmas proud.”
Whether she felt like it or not.
The children’s eyes lit up, whether at the thought of cookies or the activities, she couldn’t tell, but they were enthusiastic, and that was good. “Now, go get your coats and we’ll go.”
The children raced to the back door where their coats hung, feet pounding on the wood floor, giggles and challenges floating behind.
“And what do you do with this magical tree when Christmas is over?” Hester asked, tugging on her own gloves.
With a wrinkle of her nose, Petunia confessed, “Use it for firewood.”
Ace opened the door. The chill of the outside air hit her hard, and she froze. She remembered lying there on the dank ground, shivering in fear and dread waiting for the rapes that, thankfully, never came.
“You all right?” Hester asked.
Tugging on her gloves, she nodded. She hadn’t been raped. She had nothing to cry about. “Of course. It is beginning to feel like winter, though.”
“We could always wait for a warmer day.”
She raised her eyebrows at Hester. “It’s a Christmas tree. It’s supposed to be cold.”
“I could wait for warm and pretend it’s cold.”
“What happened to the legend of the tough Western women I read about back East?”
“She froze to death and sensible took her place,” Hester retorted.
Ace laughed and grabbed up an ax and his rifle where they were propped against the side of the building. Petunia tugged up her collar and grinned. “I can’t argue with sensible.”
“But we’re still going out in the cold?”
“We’re still going out in the cold.”
The children came charging back down the hallway, shrugging on their coats. She made note of the material and the newness. Hester had been busy. Ace held the door open and they shot through. The adventure had begun.
The kids stuck close on the way out of town, carrying the conversation in a barrage of questions and speculation, but as soon as they hit the outskirts and the options expanded, they were off like a shot, running ahead.
“There go your buffers,” Ace said.
She couldn’t tell if he was teasing or serious. “I’ve still got Hester.”
Hester smiled and walked a little faster, putting some distance between them, and the notion that Maddie’s and Luisa’s absence was deliberate strengthened.
“Traitor,” she called after her. Hester waved and kept on walking.
“She just wants what’s best for you,” Ace offered in that steady drawl of his.
She looked at him out of the corner of her eye. “And marrying you would be it?”
“You could do worse.”
That was true. “Maybe.”
“Which way we going?” he asked, interrupting her thoughts.
She paused for a minute, looking around. There was a copse of pine trees over to the right that looked possible. “That way.”
He nodded and whistled through his teeth. The children perked up. He pointed, and they were off like a shot running in that direction.
“They’ve got a lot of energy.
“I could use some of it today.”
“Tired?”
“A little.”
The wind kicked up, nipping at her cheeks. She shivered and hunkered down into her coat. She couldn’t believe it had been just two days ago that she’d been complaining about the heat.
“It’s a good tradition,” she said, defending her plan.
“I believe you.”
“The kids will enjoy it.”
“I’m not arguing.”
Stopping, she turned to face him. “Ace, why are you here?”
He patted the rifle slung over his shoulder. “Protection.”
“This close to town it’s doubtful we’re in danger.”
But underneath the bravado, her conviction wavered.
“There is another reason.”
“And that would be...?”
“Somebody’s got to carry the tree home.”
She hadn’t thought of that. She said so.
“There are a lot of things you haven’t thought of, like the advantages of being married to me.”
She should have known she couldn’t prevent this. “It’s not that I don’t appreciate the gallantry that brought about your change of heart, but the one advantage to being well and truly on the shelf is I’m not worried about being proper.”
That got her a look.
She shrugged. “A woman worries about being proper to safeguard her reputation so she’ll be seen as marriageable.”
“You don’t see yourself as desirable?”
She shrugged and trudged on. “There was a time when I wanted a family and home but I adjusted to my circumstances. A woman’s life can be rich in many ways outside of a husband and children.”
“You make it sound like you’re ancient.”
“For marriage, I am.”
He cut her a glance and fell into step beside her. “That was no crone in my bed last night.”
She could feel the blush start in her toes. “For heaven’s sake!”
His smile was pure devil. “No angel, either.”
“Oh, my God.” Stopping, she pressed her hands to her cheeks. He swung around in front of her. Protecting her, she realized, from the others’ view. “You are outrageous.”
“I prefer to think of it as honest.”
“I don’t see the need for that much honesty!”
“I’m sure, which brings us around to the point I wanted to make.”
“And what would that be?”
His gaze never wavered from hers. “There may be more reasons than your reputation for us to marry.”
Oh, heck. Had everyone but her thought of that? “It’s only been a day.”
“A day. A month. Pregnant is pregnant.”
She increased her pace and once again he caught her arm, pulling her back.
“Running away isn’t going to resolve anything.”
“I never run away,” she snapped back. “Walking fast helps me think.”
“What is there to think about?”
“The possibilities, remedies, the resolution.”
“The only resolution for you being with child is we get married.”
She wanted to stomp her feet and say no but the truth was, she wasn’t sure she had it in her to raise a child alone. She’d have to go back home in disgrace. And after all she’d said and done, she truly wasn’t sure how her father would handle that.
“I’m sure I’m not pregnant. It was only one time.”
He looked at her. “You realize it’s usually the man that usually makes that claim.”
“Well, it’s true. I’ve known women that have been trying for years to get with child.”
“And I’ve known foolhardy virgins that got pregnant their first time.”
“So how many of these foolhardy virgins are with your child?” she fired back.
He shook his head.
His silence just goaded her. “I’ve seen how you are with women.”
“You’ve seen me play with women who know the score. You have no idea how I am with
my
woman
.”
His woman. She remembered that first kiss, the passion, the aggression. It made her nervous. It excited her. Oh, yes, she did know how he was. He was possessive and demanding. Not the type of man to let his wife have her projects.
“Well, I’m sure I’m not pregnant so—” she brushed her hands down her skirt “—there’s nothing to worry about.”
“I hope you are.”
She stumbled again, and he caught her. She didn’t know what annoyed her most, that he caught her off guard or that he was always there to catch her.
“Will you stop doing that?”
He didn’t do innocent well. “Stop doing what?”
“Stop saying things to shock me just to keep me off balance.”
Ahead of them, the children reached the trees. Hester was right behind them. They turned back. Even from here, their impatience was palpable.
She called out, “Start looking for the right one.”
“You’re going to have to be more specific than that,” Ace said.
“Why?”
“Because they’re children. They’re going to look for the biggest. And the biggest one isn’t going to fit in your house.”
“We’ll just have to do some trimming.”
“Uh-huh.”
Darn it. He was right again. “Do you always have to be right?”
“Yup.”
She gave him a hard glare before calling out, “Make sure that it’s one that will fit in the house.”
His chuckle just irritated her more. Which made no sense. His fingers slid down her arm, threaded through hers. Squeezed. And the irritation vanished.
“You’re safe, Pet.”
She didn’t think she’d ever feel safe again. “Thank you.”
With a tug he brought her around to face him again. She wanted to hide. His finger under her chin wouldn’t let her. “You could pretend to believe me.”
“What’s the point of starting to lie now?”
The squeeze on her hand coincided with the glide of his thumb across her lips, her shiver with his smile. “None at all.” Subtle pressure and her lips parted. His thumb entered, just the smallest bit. All the events of the previous night came flooding back. Her nipples tingled, and her knees weakened. “I won’t tolerate dishonesty from you.”
“Won’t tolerate?”
“You can scream, shout, curse and take a swing at me, but you—” he leaned in and kissed her “—won’t lie to me. Ever.”
She caught his wrist in her hand, her lips clinging to his even as she tried to pull his fingers away. “And what about you?”
His smile felt good against hers. “I’ll lie my ass off.”
“That’s not fair,” she laughed, not believing him at all.
“No, it isn’t.”
She took a step back. He allowed the distance but didn’t let her go. There was something comforting in that.
She tugged at her hand. “You are a very presumptive man.”
“But a good one to have around.”
His confidence was unparalleled.
“No comment.”
“I’m working on a lie.”
That got her a chuckle. He turned them toward the copse. She tugged harder at her hand. “Let go.”
“Why?”
She jerked her chin to Hester and the children. “They’ll get the wrong idea.”
“Ask me nicely.”
“Please.”
To her surprise, he released her.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
With a tip of his hat he headed toward Hester and the children.
And she just stood there and watched him go, rubbing her tingling fingers against her thigh. She did not understand that man. With a shake of her head, she followed. Ace Parker was a puzzle, for sure.