Authors: Erika van Eck
Today I’m putting that fear behind me and I’m going to just go for it. I stare into her eyes and softly murmur, “Be mine, Melody”. My stomach’s in knots as I say it.
Her breath hitches but she doesn’t say a word, she stares at me blankly. Shit, I think I broke her.
I sit up and grab her face waiting for her to say something, anything. “I know you have a shitty past, I do too. But Mel, I have never in my life felt this kind of connection with anyone.” I gulp fresh air into my lungs in hopes that it will quench the little bit of courage that I have left. “I’m falling for you, Mel.”
Her mouth opens to speak and then snaps shut. Her beautiful sapphire eyes stare into mine and although they were blank before, they are brimming with emotion now.
“I’m… I can’t…” She’s unable to form a coherent sentence. She takes a moment’s pause before she brings her mouth to mine and lets her
kiss silently speak the words that her voice is unable to right now.
“You…are…beautiful,” I whisper between kisses.
Melody moans softly and wraps her arms around my neck. She begins leaning back onto the bed and brings me with her while our lips remain locked. I land lightly on top of her, and I bring one hand next to her head while my other caresses her body until I slowly make my way to under her knee and bring her leg to wrap around my hip. She eagerly brings both legs around me. Our kiss deepens.
We’re in that zone where nothing’s on our minds other than each other. Every touch brings fire to our nerves and every kiss is desperate to be deeper than the last. We can’t get close enough.
Melody pushes on my chest and wiggles underneath me. She pauses from our entangled tongues and smirks. Her intent is clear, she wants to be on top.
Fuck me. Pun definitely intended.
I roll onto my back and Mel keeps her thighs locked to my hips while her legs rest beside them. She sits up and begins unbuttoning her blouse. Once the last button is undone she leans down and nibbles my lip. She’s driving me fucking crazy, the little tease.
“Is it safe to say this means yes?” I smirk.
“This means hell yes,” she breathes.
My hands trail up her legs to her hips. Our lips find each other once again and in that moment
nothing else matters. My life’s dramas and fuck-ups are all but forgotten as Melody’s lips become the eraser to my life’s darkness. She’s the light, and I’ll be damned if I fuck this up.
I caress my hands up her hips and across her flat belly. I cup her breasts and squeeze softly. Mel lets out a purr and begins rotating her hips against my hardness.
“Ewww! What are you guys doing?” Lucas asks in disgust.
Melody quickly sits up and wraps her blouse around her chest to cover up, “Luke, GET OUT!”
“Are you guys wrestling?” he asks confused. I bring my hands to my face to hide my laugh.
“Yes, now LEAVE,” Mel says annoyed. She gets off my lap, one hand keeps her blouse closed while the other is pointing Lucas toward the door. I sit up quickly and lean my elbows on my knees to hide the evidence of our indiscretions. I don’t want to traumatize the kid.
“Why is your shirt unbuttoned then?” he asks curiously.
I let out a bark of laughter. Mel looks at me and rolls her eyes then pushes Lucas out of the door. “You need to knock next time, brat.” She shuts the door behind him.
“Holy shit.” Mel shakes her head in embarrassment and brings her hands to her face. “I can’t believe my little brother just walked in on us.”
“At least he thought we were wrestling,” I laugh.
She buttons up her blouse and then quietly sits next to me. We sit in silence and then, as if on cue, we both begin bursting with laughter. Belly-hurting, tears-streaming laughter. We both sober when the sound of my phone interrupts us.
I fish my phone out of my pocket and check the caller ID. I see that it’s my brother and although I should probably talk to him, I silence my phone instead. The events of this morning begin to flood my mind once again.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Mel asks softly.
I turn my phone around in my hands contemplating her question. This girl has confessed her demons, it’s about time I start telling her some of mine.
“Part of me wants to completely ignore them,” I angrily admit. “But the other part of me wants to forgive them. I’ve been friends with those guys since I was practically a kid. How can I possibly forgive them after what they did?”
A few minutes go by before Melody answers, “I’m not the best person to ask about forgiveness but given your situation, at least what I know of it, I think it would benefit you if you at least listened to what they have to say. Maybe it’ll help you feel more settled.” She shrugs.
Of course she’s right but it’s hard to think straight when I carry so much anger about the last couple of months. My hand gravitates toward hers and the feel of her soft fingers laced with mine brings the relief I’m looking for.
She seems to feel the same relief and brings her
head to rest on my shoulder, “Sometimes I wish I could bring myself to talk to my dad,” she whispers. “We used to be really close.”
It’s then that I hear her sniffles. I bring my hand to her chin and lift her face toward mine. Rather than comforting her with words I decide to comfort her with a gesture, and I kiss her tears away.
“Thank you,” she murmurs.
***
After kissing Melody goodbye and promising to talk with her soon, I drive to Nate’s. I know Liam and Walt are most likely there. After talking with Melody a little bit longer I decided it’s best to talk to the guys and see what’s so important that they had to come out here to talk to me. I can’t promise that I won’t lose my shit on one of them but they deserve it, right?
As soon as Nate’s house is in sight I immediately notice a black SUV parked by the curb. It appears my suspicions were spot on.
After parking and turning off the ignition I sit and take in the last moment of calm before the storm that is about to ensue. I have no idea what I’m walking in on and as much as I’d love for it to be good news, I know better. There’s always some sort of shit storm brewing somewhere in my life, and I’m only trying to be prepared for it this time around. I take one last deep breath, get out of the truck, and walk toward the house that two of my life’s past reminders are sitting in.
I quietly walk into the house. As I walk down the hall toward the living room I hear Nate’s annoyed voice, and it stops me in my tracks. Out of the two of us he has always had his head on straight in all situations but right now I hear a trace of anger that usually isn’t present.
“You guys have to understand, he didn’t walk out on you guys. He got his life together for you, for the band. Don’t come here thinking that things will be resolved because the level of betrayal you caused is irreparable as far as I’m concerned. Lucky for you both, it’s not up to me.”
Before Liam or Walt are able to respond I walk out from the dark hallway. I nod my head to Nate, while avoiding Liam and Walt’s nervous glances. I walk to the fridge and take out a bottle of water. I unscrew the lid and practically inhale its contents.
I make my way into the living room and take a seat across the coffee table from Walt and Liam. “So, this is how it’s going to go. You tell me why the hell you both are here and then you leave. If I want to contact either of you after all of this, I will. That is, of course, if you answer your goddamn phone calls.” I speak through my clenched teeth. My hands are gripping both knees, and I’m putting my all into not storming out of here. If I would have been in the same situation a year ago most of the things in the space around me would have been broken already. It’s funny how much can happen in a year.
Liam and Walt look at each other and then back at me. Liam speaks first. “I know what we did was in no way okay, but we didn’t have a choice.”
Oh fuck no. I stand and am about to walk out when Walt gets up and blocks my way. “Just hear us out. Trust me when I say you want to hear this.”
“Trust you?” I say calmly. Nate walks toward me knowing shit’s about to hit the fan. “TRUST YOU?!” I roar. I push Walt’s chest, and he falls back onto the couch. He’s not a very big guy, and I know I can take him no problem, especially now that I have the advantage of being the one standing. I pull my fist back and am about to send it flying when Nate steps in the way and lightly pushes on my chest.
“Don’t do this Ace, you’re better than this.” He nods his head in the direction of where Liam and Walt sit. “Just listen. You need to hear what they have to say, not for their benefit but for yours.”
I’m still heaving from the adrenaline that still courses through my veins. I’m too wound up to sit, so I begin pacing the living room. I make a motion with my hand in the guys’ direction for them to continue with their point.
Liam clears his throat in discomfort before continuing, “The label had us by the balls. They did give us an ultimatum, but they said if we didn’t do as they said, not only do they have rights to all of our work but they’d make sure we’d never find another job in the music industry again.” He looks at me for understanding, but he’s not going to find it. “None of us have a financial cushion to fall back on, you do.” I stop pacing dead in my tracks. He looks at me and puts his hands up in defense. “I’m not saying what we did was right. A lot has happened since you left.” He says
left
like I had a choice in the matter.
Although I had realized earlier that one original member of Spades is missing, I hadn’t had the chance to ask until now. “Where’s Paulie?”
Paulie is the bass player for Spades, and he was also my drug buddy in the band. He was able to hide his addiction better than I was. The difference was I didn’t care what people thought of me, I had nothing to hide. He was a little more tight lipped about his life and addictions. We had been friends since we were teenagers but he never spoke of his home life, not once. I knew he lived with his grandparents too, but the only reason I knew that was because of the time when we all got arrested for underage drinking at some high school party and our guardians had to pick us up from the police station. His grandparents showed up speaking Spanish so quickly that even if I could understand the language, I wouldn’t be able to make out any of the words. As soon as his grandmother saw him she smacked him in the back of the head not caring who saw. After that incident I never heard about them again. Paulie was never anxious to get home after a tour either. He ended up moving out to Las Vegas around the same time I did.
Liam and Walt share another glance but this time Walt speaks, “He’s in treatment for drugs and… depression.” He looks down at the ground uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation.
“What happened?”
Walt shakes his head but Liam answers, “This is part of the reason why we came. To let you know what’s happened since you left, even with Paulie.” He hesitates. “He attempted suicide by overdosing. We found him in the hotel room when we were getting ready for our Boston show.”
That sobers me enough that I take a seat on the couch again. That could have been me, and most likely would have been if it wasn’t for my outburst at Zee.
“Where’s Zee?” I ask.
Liam shakes his head in disgust, “
Zee
was the label’s idea. He barely showed up at all, I think the only reason he took the job in the first place was to get under your skin. He quit about a week ago, right after Paulie’s overdose. No one’s heard from him since.”
I’m intrigued but that doesn’t change the fact that they chose the label over me. Maybe that sounds a little bitchy on my end, but loyalty is huge for me, and they stepped all over it.
“I appreciate you guys coming all the way out here to tell me all of this but I can’t forgive and forget that easily. Give me time.”
“There’s one more thing we wanted to tell you… Well, two actually. Spades is no longer a band, I guess you can say we broke up. We were thinking about it right after the label let you go and hired Zee. Once he quit, it gave us a good out with the label. So, we’re no longer signed either.”
“So you were thinking about leaving after I left, but you wouldn’t stick by my side when they wanted to kick me out?” I ask in frustration.
Walt finally speaks up after remaining silent most of the conversation. “It wasn’t like that. We needed time to talk with a lawyer to see where we were at. We didn’t want to chance it before. We were and still are on your side Ace, we were just trying to go about it the right way. We didn’t want the label to become suspicious of us so we made it seem like we were siding with them.”
I inhale and run my fingers through my short hair. “I’m still not sure how to take any of this. Just give me a little bit of time to think things over.”
They both stand and nod. Walt begins walking toward the door, but Liam stops and looks back at me. “We’ll be in town until Wednesday, if you want to talk.” He turns his body in the direction of the door and walks out.
As soon as they leave, I say goodnight to Nate and go to my room. The room is completely bare, and it’s not until now that I realize how depressing that is. I can’t wait to start my new life here with Mel by my side.