accidental 11 - accidentally ever after (11 page)

It was all just silly nonsense best left for those who believed in true love’s kiss.

Of which he did not. He’d kissed maidens aplenty in his time, and none of them did to him what the legend told. He was not a believer in the tale his mother regaled him with at bedtime when he was a child.

Pushing off the tree, he fought to ignore the soft outline of Toni’s sleeping body in the tent just beyond his and followed Dannan toward their beds.

Sleep would fix all his ills, and tomorrow, he’d find out what Angria wanted with Toni, finish their journey to the castle, happily drop her off, wish her well, and go back to his quiet life at the cottage with his reindeer and his crops.

That settled, he hunkered down beneath the rough blanket and closed his eyes.

Only to find Toni’s face lurking behind his eyelids.

His sigh was grating and irritated as he turned over restlessly.

Dannan chuckled from just outside the tent. “Count sheep, lad. It helps pass the time when a lass weighs heavy on yer mind.”

“Quiet now, ogre.” Jon growled his words. “Or I’ll see your head roll then mounted at the cottage!”

His response only made Dannan laugh harder, the squeak of its tinkling lilt still, after years of friendship, leaving Jon amazed. For a man so large, his voice was sprinkled with fairy dust.

“I bid ye goodnight, Jon Doe. May yer dreams be maiden free!”

Chapter 6

T
he next morning, as they rose to pack up and begin the next leg of their journey, Jon informed them that he was certain the attack yesterday was personal and aimed at Toni. He warned each of the women about the existence of Queen Angria and her evil and the possibility she wanted Toni’s shoes.

“So you think the shoes had something to do with that crazy stunt she pulled yesterday?” Marty had asked.

Jon had shaken his head. “I know not of these shoes, but there is a distinct possibility Angria desires them if they have some sort of rare gift now bestowed upon Toni simply because she wears them.”

Nina had nodded her head as though she thoroughly understood, while Marty and Wanda followed suit. “I fucking knew it. It always boils down to some shit like this.
This
kinda crazy I get. So don’t fret your pretty face about it, Reindeer Whisperer—we get batshit bitches. We got Red’s back all the way.”

Now, as they moved deeper into the forest, Nina snaked a hand upward and captured one of the bluebirds who’d spun around her head since they’d begun this trek and brought him down to eye level. She’d been out of sorts all morning long and picking up speed with each step they took.

The bluebird continued to chirp happily, his head bobbing just above her fingers. “Dude, cut it the hell out. I can’t take it anymore, man. I haven’t slept in two days, and this flippy-flappy, yippy-skippy song you winged anomalies keep chirping is old. It ends now. Your time to come in for a landing has arrived. So here’s the skinny. Shut those damn beaks and you can rest those feathers by riding on my boy Carl’s back the rest of the way to the castle. Keep it up, despite the fact that I love animals more than I love people, and I roast your little blue asses for dinner, tiny buddy.
Capisce
?”

She set him on Carl’s back and, ironically, the others followed suit, lining up along the blanket covering his spine, their puffed-up chests swelling further.

Toni tweaked the edge of one of Nina’s wings, hoping to turn her bad mood around. “Did I tell you how nice you are today? You sure have purty wings. I’m sick with jealousy.”

“Did I tell if you say one more thing I’m gonna snatch your tongue from your face?”

“Oooo, did someone have a bad night?” Toni teased with a grin, rubbing Carl’s antler as they walked.

“Someone is a fucking vampire who should be sleeping right now, not taking the diva king his shoes while some power-trippin’ queen chases you. Someone hasn’t slept or fed for two damn days. Someone’s about to flip a nut if all the other someones don’t shut it.”

“Fed?” What an odd word to use for food.

“Yeah, fed.”

She hadn’t noticed until Nina mentioned it, but the vampire hadn’t shared in their meal of winterberries or roasted chestnuts—nor had she drunk a drop of water. But the word “fed” in relation to eating a meal was a rather strange choice. “Why haven’t you, um, eaten…or fed. I mean, why didn’t you have some berries with us last night? We had plenty. I would have shared, too.”

“Because Crustypants can’t eat food anymore,” Marty teased, yanking the length of Nina’s dirty yellow skirt.

Toni fought an astonished gasp as they climbed yet another hill. “Then what do you eat to live?”

“I don’t live, numbnuts. I’m dead, remember?”

Then something registered. Maybe it was a fact from a movie or a TV show or whatever, but it would be another of her worst fears realized since she’d first learned Nina was a vampire. But no. She didn’t really drink…Did she?

Toni stopped for a moment, putting her hand on Nina’s arm. “So then you really eat—”

“Blood. More specifically, I
drink
blood, and I’m gonna need some soon. Any particular spot on your neck you want me to tap first?” Nina lifted her cracked sunglasses and glared down at Toni.

Yep. Worst fear realized. But she was determined to take this new information in stride, too, right along with everything else. “So how do we get you blood?”

Her face changed again, darkening with worry. “I don’t know. I don’t do human or animal blood. We drink this synthetic shit my husband’s clan provides. One taste of the wrong blood and it could fuck everything up.”

“So you’re an eco-conscious vampire?”

“No. I’m one who doesn’t want to turn into a raving lunatic and commit mass homicide. Real blood does weird shit to a vampire. It can make you lust for the genuine article all the time, and that’s how you lose control and start taking bitches out—or innocents, as we call them. My clan is determined to live with humans—which is a good thing for you. Now quit yakking and go make nice with Flawless. He’s all pouty after your argument last night.”

Toni looked down at the ground, her next words not a question but a statement. “You heard us.”

“The Adirondacks heard you two. I’m a vampire. Super-speed, super-strength, super-
hearing
.”

Guilt washed over her. Could Nina die if she didn’t do this feed thing? She was still learning the particulars of this undead stuff, but the more she heard, the more it was becoming just like a movie.

Toni latched on to her arm, trying to slow her. “You’re out here because of me. I want to help. Tell me what I can do, Nina.”

“Got a spare vein?”

Toni blanched, looking helplessly to Marty. “Is that what it takes?”

Marty patted Toni on the back with one hand, using the other to tuck a long lock of her blonde hair back into the massive cone it had become. “It’s going to be all right. Jon says he knows a fairy who can turn water into wine—maybe she can do the same with blood. We’ll figure it out. Promise.”

Everyone was always so calm, so “oh, it’ll all be fine. We got this”. But now, this woman could die or turn to ashes or whatever vampires did when their undead lives were over and it was all because of Toni’s mistake. She couldn’t live with that. Not after everything else she already lived with. No more death.

As they traveled north toward the castle, the terrain had become hillier, rougher; her feet ached and her back was killing her. It was a stark reminder to do more cardio when she got back to Jersey.

Dannan again took the front, with Jon a mere two strides behind him, leading his horse Oliver on foot. Nina chatted with Dannan like they were old friends. She said he reminded her of her demon friend Darnell back in Staten Island.

As opposed to she and Jon who had spoken nary a word this morning as they’d packed up their camp and began the next leg of their journey. His jaw was rigid, his eyes focused on the road ahead, totally avoiding her.

Toni had stayed as far back in the lineup as she could, forcing her eyes to look anywhere but at his tight butt and his broad back. In all fairness, she’d overreacted to his question about her parents. She wanted to say as much and apologize, but maybe it was better if he was angry with her rather than his usual friendly self.

If they didn’t speak, he couldn’t ask any more questions she wasn’t willing to answer.

As morning turned to mid-afternoon and they approached this bridge Jon had spoken of, set far off in the distance beyond a tangle of vines, he held up a long arm and waved them toward him.

As they gathered around, he pointed to a thicker portion of the woods, the entry clotted with dark trees making the shape of an oval. Jon’s skin was ruddy from the cold, his eyes stoic as he spoke. “This is the Garden of Wings, fairies dwell here. We must forge through their playground in order to reach the bridge before late afternoon. Be warned, maidens, fairies are known for their playful though harmless pranks, but the queen’s henchmen are my true worry. They often hide in the thick of the gardens, attempting to snatch the winged goblins and wring their powers from them or force them to guide their black souls to the mines, where gold is allegedly hidden. You must beware. If there’s a price on Toni’s head, they’ll be especially keen today.”

Nina rolled her shoulders and lifted her chin. “Just might get that blood sooner than we thought.”

“Aye, maiden. Shall I carry ye? I am happy to do so,” Dannan asked.

Nina shook her head with a slow smile. “Nah, Papa Smurf, I got this.”

Jon planted a hand on Nina’s shoulder. “Do not tax yourself, maiden. This portion of our journey can’t be avoided if we’re to find what you need and the proper nourishment you require from the Blue Fairy, Elessandra. I would ask that you all stay close and ignore the whispers of the trees the henchman hide in. Their voices can grow loud and drive you to madness, but they seek only to steal your mind and cannot be trusted.”

Why talking trees surprised her after riding on the back of a dragon was a mystery, but it was like an aftershock now rather than a full-on earthquake of crazy. Still, Toni was determined to see that Nina got what she needed. She wouldn’t be here if not for her random wish. She’d keep that in the forefront of all future endeavors.

Rolling up the long sleeves of her gown, Toni merely nodded and began to follow Dannan and the others into the garden, only to have Jon stop her by capturing her wrist.

“I mean what I say, Toni. You, especially, must take great care.”

“Is this because of yesterday? Are you going to remind me how easily I was roped in by a cup of coffee forever? I told
you
just like I told everyone else—I don’t know why I got on the dragon. It was instinct or something I can’t explain. I can promise you, if I’d had all my wits about me, I would have never climbed on the back of a dragon. I’m not an idiot.”

“Then you must curb your foolish impulses.”

Foolish? The nerve. But she knew how to shut up when there were more pressing matters.

So Toni gave him the blankest stare she could summon and pulled her wrist from his grasp. “I get it. You’re in charge. No dragon-slaying for the foolish salesgirl today.”

The corner of his luscious mouth lifted ever so slightly in time with one raven eyebrow. “The fair maiden doth have ears.”

“She also doth have a fist, which she’ll gladly shove down your throat if you don’t lay off thee, or ye, or me, or whatever. Now let’s go ignore some henchman and trees.” With that, she turned and marched toward the entry to the Garden of Wings, hopping over the scratchy sting of the thorny tangled vines at the opening with Jon’s soft chuckle ringing in her ears.

* * * *

“Oh dear,” Wanda murmured, her eyes scanning the landscape of the garden.

Yeahhh. Toni nodded without realizing it as they took their first glance around the Garden of Wings.

“My God, girls. It’s magical. Like every childhood dream realized. Imagine the selfies to be had here,” Marty whispered on a breathy sigh as a blinking blue light whizzed past her head.

All around them multicolored lights dotted the interior of the garden, buzzing and zipping in and out of the foliage of the woods.

“Fairies?” she whispered to Jon in utter awe.

He leaned into her, pressing his lips to her ear and making her shiver. “Indeed, milady. Beautiful, yes?”

Toni nodded, feeling suddenly serene as she allowed her body to lean into Jon’s harder one. “So beautiful,” she murmured, her stomach doing somersaults at Jon’s touch.

These trees, while covered in snow like the rest of the forest, still had leaves on them—leaves in the shape of hearts in ice blue, stringing across the long, bent branches and spilling from the tops of their tall peaks like fountains shooting water. The ice forming on each heart-shaped leaf was crystallized and shimmering as though they’d been dunked in white sugar.

Stumps covered in the greenest moss she’d ever seen were grouped together like small tables, and miniature tea sets sat upon them, the tiny teacups half full. Purple wisteria wound around tree trunks in a riot of endless flowers, draping and swaying in the suddenly very humid air.

Cottages with thatched roofs and circular doors hung like small Chinese lanterns throughout tall oaks with pink and purple leaves, threading their way around the perimeter of the path they took.

And all along the path as they walked, tiny voices much like Dannan’s twittered, the staccato cadence fluttering and quick.

That was when she heard her name, a rhythmic, almost tribal beat,
“Toni,Toni,Toni!”

“Keep walking, Dragon Slayer,” Nina coaxed from behind, poking a knuckle between Toni’s shoulder blades.

“You hear it, too?” she asked as sweat beaded her upper lip.

“I hear it. I hear everything these fucks are saying because—
vampire.
”

Toni nodded, forcing herself to keep her feet moving, trying with every last ounce of will to ignore the merciless chant of her name. But the throb in her head grew, almost hurting.

Carl came up from the rear and nudged her with his antlers, nudging her to keep her feet moving, rubbing his nose against her hand as a reminder to push past this.