Absolute Beginners (Absolute #1) (18 page)

“That isn’t the kind of dessert I’m talking about, Stephen,” she said, playing with one of her braids.

Oh? She means…oh!

“Uh, what did you have in mind?” I asked.

She stood up slowly and walked over to me. “Something pretty simple. You, me, and your bed,” she said. “If you’re up for it, that is.”

“I am, but…I really didn’t ask you over because I wanted to…you know.”

“Fuck?” She grinned, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, that,” I said, feeling a grin of my own tugging at the corner of my mouth.

“I know,” she said simply, holding out her hand.

I took it gladly, following her into my bedroom.

* * *

I buried my face in the crook of her neck, breathing in her scent as my body grew heavy on top of hers. I loved this moment. We were still connected intimately, enjoying the immediate relaxation that followed our climaxes. I never wanted to leave this place.

“That was…” I was at a loss for words and, apparently, so was Julia. She simply hummed and buried her hands in my hair. I was tired but I wanted to kiss her. With great effort, I lifted my head and pressed my lips against hers.

“Mmm,” she half-moaned. “You taste like me.”

That woke me right up. “Sorry,” I mumbled, my face now scorching hot.

“No, I like it.”

She proved it by kissing me again, stroking her tongue against mine and moaning softly. God, that was sexy.

“Have you ever done that before?” she asked, guiding my head down to rest on her chest.

“No,” I whispered, nuzzling her breasts. “Was it all right?”

“So much better than all right,” she sighed, stroking my hair.

I smiled, placing a kiss on the center of her chest before laying my head down again. I’d been nervous, of course, when she had gently nudged my shoulders, wordlessly telling me to move down her body. But by now I knew her body well—what she liked, the sounds she made when she was close. With Julia’s gentle guidance, it hadn’t been difficult at all to make her shudder and call out my name using only my lips and tongue. Then, while she was still panting, I had moved up, sliding inside her, bringing her over the edge again before I let myself fall. It was so easy being with her like this, it felt instinctual now. I closed my eyes and tightened my arms around her, wanting nothing more than to sleep.

Far too soon, Julia started squirming and I knew that our time was up. She wasn’t a fan of intimacy extending beyond intercourse, but tonight I wished that she’d keep touching my hair and let me hold her. Reluctantly, I lifted my head and kissed her before rolling off her and closing my eyes again. At once, I felt her leave my bed and walk into the bathroom.

It was different this time. I don’t know why, but it was
.

I lay there trying to figure out why it had felt different sleeping with her tonight. Maybe it was because we were at my place, or because we had done things in reverse order and eaten before having sex. The sex had been wonderful, as always, and I was certainly satisfied. But I’d never experienced this strange feeling afterward, of wanting to keep her in my arms for the rest of the night.

Julia came back in and I opened my eyes, scanning her from head to toe. She was still naked, her hair now loose and untamed the way I liked it. She was like a goddess of feminine beauty with gently rounded curves, a sensual mouth, and eyes I could get lost in.

“God, you’re magnificent,” I whispered. Her eyes widened slightly before her lips curved up in a beautiful smile.

“Thank you. You say the sweetest things,” she said softly. “Why some woman hasn’t made an honest man out of you is beyond me,” she added with her lopsided grin.

I watched as she started getting dressed again. It felt wrong for her to cover up her perfect body, and I wondered, yet again, what she was doing with someone like me.

“Why me, Julia?”

“Why you, what?” she asked, looking puzzled.

“Why did you choose me? I mean, you could have anyone.”

She sat on the bed. “I thought you were insanely hot the first time I saw you in class, but it wasn’t like I was planning anything. Meeting you that night outside the bar was just luck, and the fact that you turned out to be really great in bed
and
a decent guy was completely serendipitous. Why did you want to keep seeing me after the first night?” she asked. “You could have your pick of women.”

“Hardly,” I scoffed, staring at the ceiling.

“Why do you say that?”

I looked at her again, feeling anxious about revealing something so intimate about myself. “Before I met you I hadn’t had, um, sex in almost four years,” I muttered, horribly embarrassed.

“Four years?” she gasped. “Why? You mentioned that you hadn’t had a lot of sex, but still.”

“I’ve only ever slept with women I’ve dated and it was never like this, like you and me,” I explained. “I guess I just started believing that I wasn’t any good. With women and with…sex.”

“You are,” she said, and I believed her. I was good with her.

“Thank you, I’m sorry that I’m not more experienced.”

My biggest fear was that Julia would grow weary of me and my novice-like ways.

“Don’t apologize,” she said immediately. “I honestly don’t care about that. I like teaching you this stuff.”

“You do?”

“Yeah, I’m having a lot of fun, aren’t you?”

I nodded and smiled.

“Good,” she said, standing up. “Don’t worry, Stephen, I’ll teach you anything you want to learn. The next woman you sleep with won’t know what hit her,” she added and winked.

But…I don’t want to sleep with any other women
.

“You wanna watch a movie or something?” Julia asked, grabbing the rest of her clothes.

“Um, sure,” I said, as she bounced out of the bedroom.

I sat there on the bed, feeling perplexed. I did have a lot of fun with Julia and I was truly grateful that she’d taught me so much about sex. But it had never occurred to me that she expected me to use what I’d learned with other women. Logically speaking, I knew that she was right. We weren’t in a relationship and if I wanted something like that, I’d need to start dating again at some point. But if I got serious about another woman, I couldn’t keep seeing Julia.

Oh, grow up already. You know what this is. Just enjoy it while it lasts
.

I sighed and started dressing. Julia appeared at the door.

“Coming, buddy?” she asked with a sweet smile.

I have never hated a word so much in my life
.

I can’t believe I’m doing this
.

I was sitting in my car outside a nice downtown restaurant, about to meet Lily for dinner. I was nervous, jittery, and sweating in my suit. This was not how I had hoped to spend my Friday night.

Julia had been somewhat subdued in class today and didn’t contribute to the discussion. Whenever I would sneak a glance at her, she was staring into space, and I don’t think I saw her take a single note, which was uncharacteristic of her. After class, I asked her if she was all right and she offered me a small smile, telling me that she just had a lot on her mind. She didn’t elaborate and I didn’t ask her to—she seemed like she wanted to keep whatever was distracting her private.

I asked her again if she had any objections about my going out to dinner with Lily. Julia only had to say the word, and I would have happily canceled the date and spent the night with her instead. But she hadn’t. She had once again said that it was fine. I noticed that there was no spring in her step when she walked out of my classroom, but I couldn’t figure out why her spirits seemed so low. If she didn’t want me going out with Lily then surely she would have said something. Julia was never one for keeping her opinion to herself.

I wanted to see her tonight, make sure we were OK, but knew it would be in poor taste to meet with her after spending the first portion of the night with another woman. Plucking up a bit of courage, I sent her a text asking for a rendezvous, which was a first for me.

I looked at the display and read the message over and over again, hoping it sounded all right. Drawing a deep breath, I quickly pressed
SEND
before I could change my mind. Immediately, I felt a flutter in my stomach. What if she said no? Would she find me repulsive for wanting to see her the very night after I had taken another woman out to dinner?

Stop. She already told you that she’ll only decline an invitation to meet if she’s otherwise engaged. And she doesn’t care that you’re dating someone else, she said so
.

I knew all this, but I still felt rotten about my decision to see Lily tonight. However, I wanted to get married and have a family someday, and the only way to obtain that dream was to date appropriate women. I couldn’t keep postponing if I wanted it to become reality. After all, I was thirty-three and wanted children,
and
I wanted to be married for a while before having them. That meant that I would have to meet someone in the near future, while I was still young enough to do all those things. I didn’t want to end up old and alone. The thought terrified me.

Taking another deep breath, I exited the car, determined to go meet Lily. I loved spending time with Julia, but there was no future there. She was much too young and wild, and not at all interested in anything serious. She was beautiful, but wholly temporary. I knew that, so I had to give Lily a fair chance, no matter how much the thought of seeing two women at the same time put me off.

Entering the restaurant, I spotted a woman at the bar and deduced that she was Lily, who’d told me that she would be wearing a green dress. I took a few seconds to study her. She was tall with light brown hair and a nice figure. Her dress was modest, but showed off her legs in a subtle way, and, like me, she wore glasses. All in all, she was a nice-looking woman, who didn’t stand out but still got a few glances from the other men at the bar. I took another calming breath and walked over to her.

“Lily?” I inquired.

She smiled and nodded. “You must be Stephen,” she said, holding out her hand to shake mine. “It’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“All good, I hope,” I said, cringing inwardly at my cliché comment.

“Oh, yes,” she said with a small laugh. “Apparently, my mother has wanted me to meet Joanne’s son for years now.”

“That’s very flattering,” I offered. “Would you like a drink?”

“That would be lovely. I’ll have a white wine spritzer.”

I ordered for the both of us, frowning a little at her choice of beverage. Why anyone would ruin a nice glass of wine with club soda I would never understand.

I bet Julia would never order that. She loves wine as much as I do
.

I shook my head. I shouldn’t be thinking about Julia when I was out with Lily.

“The maitre d’ told me that our table is ready,” Lily said when we got our drinks.

“All right, lead the way.”

We sat down at the table and started talking. I learned that Lily was born and raised here in San Francisco, but had been living on the East Coast for a few years. She had wanted to come home to be closer to her family and when a career opportunity presented itself, she applied, and had recently started her new job. She taught American history and politics, but was also an avid reader of literature in her spare time. I told her about my job at the university and the various articles I was working on at the moment. The waiter came over and we ordered dinner. I opted for a steak and Lily chose sea bass. We talked a little more, and then our food arrived.

Halfway through the meal, she excused herself and went to the bathroom. I stood up and looked after her as she walked away. When she was out of sight, I discreetly checked my phone to see if Julia had responded to my text. I felt a surge of nervousness when I saw that she had answered me and opened the message.

Holy hell!

My nervousness was instantly replaced with lust. Pure, unadulterated lust. The display on my phone lit up again and I was almost scared to read what Julia had written.

She’s trying to kill me! I’ll have a stroke in the middle of the restaurant and when they examine my body they’ll determine that I died from lack of blood to the brain
.

My mind was bombarded with images of Julia lying naked on her bed, her hands caressing her perfect body while moaning my name.

God, I wish I was there with her
.

I found myself ready to ditch my dinner date and run to my car, and suddenly my arousal mixed with anger.

What kind of game is she playing?

Julia was well aware of my plans with Lily, and yet sent me suggestive messages. No, not suggestive. There was nothing suggestive about them. She was flat out telling me that she wanted to have sex with me, right now. What did she expect me to do? Abandon Lily and run to her apartment like some sort of hormonal teenager who would jump at the chance of having sex? Why was she teasing me like this? She knew that I was in a public place, and she still taunted me, making me hard with her words. I felt my anger grow. She couldn’t treat me like that. I wouldn’t let her. She could come to me when
I
thought it was the appropriate time.

My place in two hours or not at all
, I wrote, pressing
SEND
with no hesitation.

Did I really just send that? What will she think? What if she says no? Oh God, what if she says no?

The display lit up instantly.

It
was
another game to her. She had deliberately disturbed my date with her messages and made me ache for her.