Absolute Beginners (Absolute #1) (11 page)

“My hero.” She grinned. “How can I reward you for your bravery?”

This is not the way this was supposed to go
.

I swallowed when she lifted her face to mine.

“Maybe with a kiss?” she whispered against my lips.

My head bopped up and down as though I was a puppet and she was the puppeteer, pulling my strings. I closed my eyes, preparing for the feel of her soft mouth against mine, when suddenly I felt her hands undoing my belt instead. My eyes flew open and I saw her kneeling in front of me, opening my pants with eager, experienced hands.

“W-wait,” I stammered. “What are you doing?”

“I didn’t specify where I wanted to kiss you,” she answered, smiling flirtatiously.

Tell her to stop, tell her to stop
.

“Oh! Oh my God,” I moaned, squeezing my eyes shut when her warm lips slid over me.

She pushed my pants to the floor and ran her hands up and down my thighs. My hands moved of their own accord and I buried them in her hair, tugging it gently. The sound and feel of her moaning made me open my eyes to look her. My breath hitched when I saw that she had seemingly been watching me the entire time. I met her eyes for a second before I dropped my gaze to her pretty mouth. The sight of her lips wrapped around my length caused me to groan loudly and I felt myself hardening further. It was so beautifully erotic. Even with my lack of experience, I knew that it was a common male fantasy to have a woman like this, and I found myself no different from the rest of my gender. I
did
have those kinds of inclinations, no matter how much I’d tried to convince myself otherwise. I wanted this. It was too good to deny my sex-starved body, and I threw myself into the sensations, captivated by the image of her kneeling in front of me, practically worshipping me. Her hands ran up my legs and gently kneaded my buttocks. She moaned again and then I felt her push my hips forward, which made me slide deeper into her mouth.

Does she want me to move? It’s just like my dream!

I thrust forward gently and looked into her eyes. She hummed and caressed me with her wicked, talented tongue. My hands gripped her hair a little tighter as I began moving in and out of her mouth, faster and faster. This wouldn’t take long at all.

“Oh, I’m going to…come,” I panted, moments later. “Is that…oh, God, is that OK?”

She hummed around me, and that was all it took. Moaning, panting, and shivering with my release, I couldn’t for the life of me remember why I’d ever considered rejecting her. Nothing had ever felt this good. I stroked her hair, opened my eyes, and looked at her. She smiled widely and pulled herself up, using my forearms as leverage.

“Why did you do that?” I asked, drawing a deep breath.

She smirked and placed a soft kiss on my lips. “Thank you for killing the eight-legged monster.”

“I didn’t do it because I wanted you to do, um,
that
,” I assured her, motioning to the floor.

“I know,” she said simply.

My stomach growled and I realized that I was completely ravenous.

“Hmm, I guess I’m not the only one who gets hungry from fucking,” she chuckled. “I’ll order us some pizza, OK?”

I nodded and put my clothes back in place, all the while trying to figure out what the protocol was in this type of situation. I had shown up at her door intent on telling her that I didn’t want a physical relationship, and not even ten minutes later, she had performed oral sex on me as if it were the most natural thing in the world. I watched as she grabbed her phone and started poking at the screen.

“What do you want on your half?” she asked.

“You’re texting the pizza place?”

She laughed. “No, I’m using their app. How do you order your pizza?”

“Um, with a menu and a phone call,” I said, feeling ancient.

She laughed again and gave me a smile. “You’re funny. What did you want on your half?”

I’m funny? I’ve never been told that before
.

“Whatever you’re having, I’m not picky,” I said, sitting down in her beat-up armchair.

I looked around her small apartment and cringed inwardly. I had forgotten about the clutter and tried to focus on something besides the urge to start organizing her books and papers, which I was sure would offend her.

“There,” she said, poking the screen one last time. “It should be here soon. What would you like to drink?”

“Whatever you’re having,” I repeated.

She walked into the kitchen and I sat there wondering if I could leave without being rude. She wanted me to stay for some food, but would she want me to stay longer? Once again, she’d pleasured me without getting anything in return, so did that mean that she’d like to have sex now, like last time? I was in completely over my head.

At least I didn’t pass out on her again
.

“Here you go,” she said, handing me a strange-looking bottle.

“Um, what is it?” I asked.

“A microbrew. You’ll like it,” she said with more confidence than I felt by looking at it. “It’s beer.”

I took a sip and found that I did actually like it a lot. I gave her a smile.

“Told you,” she said smugly. “I think I know what you like.”

“Evidently,” I said, feeling my cheeks flush when my eyes darted to the spot where she’d been on her knees only minutes earlier. “You must be a mind reader.”

She snorted and flopped down on the bed. “It doesn’t take a mind reader to figure out that you like beer and blowjobs, Stephen. I’m pretty sure that just proves you have a Y chromosome.”

“Oh,” I said, feeling embarrassed again. She was so comfortable talking about sex and I’d never encountered such brazenness in a woman before. The only people I discussed such matters with were Richard, when I’d gotten the standard speech at age fourteen, and my brother, when he regaled me with stories of his many conquests, although I repeatedly told him that I wasn’t interested in hearing them.

“Do you like doing it?” I blurted out.

“Blowing you?” She grinned. “Sure, what’s not to like?”

“Please don’t call it that,” I groaned, closing my eyes. She made the whole thing sound so sordid and carnal, which it obviously was, but I didn’t like to think of it in those terms. I opened my eyes again. She looked like a sweet, innocent girl with her pristine white robe and loose wavy hair, but she talked like an adult film actress. She was completely unashamed about sex, unlike me, who’d always kept it under the covers where I’d always believed it belonged.

“There’s nothing wrong with calling things by their right names, you know?” she said.

“I know,” I muttered, taking another sip of my beer.

“Say ‘blowjob,’ ” she said, raising her chin slightly.

“What? No!”

“Pleeease?” she pouted.

“No.” I couldn’t help but smile, though.

“Come on, it’s just one little word. We’ll call it your vocabulary lesson for the day,” she coaxed.

“No, I am
not
saying that,” I said, laughing. “And I think that’s two words, actually, but I’d have to consult a dictionary to make sure.”

“Fine. What do
you
call it, then?” she asked, rolling over onto her stomach, crossing her ankles in the air.

“I don’t call it anything.”

“So, imagine that you meet a friend and tell him that you got laid. Finish this sentence.” She lowered her voice to sound like a man. “Hey, bro, I scored with this chick last night and she totally gave me a…”

She looked at me expectantly, and I laughed again because she sounded just like Matt.

“What?” she asked.

“You sound just like my st—my brother,” I said. “But I would never say something like that.”

“Why not?”

“Well, that would be completely ungentlemanly of me, and since no one has ever done that to me besides you…you see where I’m going with this?”

“You haven’t had a lot of sex,” she concluded.

Understatement
.

“No,” I admitted sheepishly.

“I don’t get it,” she said. “Are you just really choosy with your partners?” She seemed genuinely puzzled by my lack of experience.

“Not really. I-I guess a lot of women just didn’t choose
me
.”

“Hmm,” she said, cocking her head to the side.

Now she thinks I’m a complete loser
.

“Well, screw them! Their loss is my incredible gain.”

“I’m hardly a prize,” I said.

“Please,” she scoffed, reaching for her beer. “You’re good-looking, fun to be around, and great in the sack.”

I didn’t know which of her compliments shocked me the most: good-looking, fun, or great in bed. None of them fit with my perception of myself, but the comments thrilled me and I hoped that she was being truthful.

There was a knock on the door and she jumped up. I noticed that we’d been talking for a while and, surprisingly, I hadn’t felt nervous at all. The conversation had flowed very easily between us and this was probably the most shocking thing—besides sleeping with her—that I could add to my “Things I like about Ms. Wilde” list.

I like talking to her
.

“Thank God, I’m fucking starving!” she said, walking toward the door.

“Let me pay,” I offered.

“I already did it online,” she said with a smile. “But you can pay me back later if you’d like.”

She gave me one of her winks and I realized that she was probably talking about the two of us engaging in more sexual activity. My mouth went dry and I gawked at her backside as she walked over to the door. It was entirely possible that she was naked underneath the thin satin robe.

Naked. Warm. Soft.

Twitch. Twitch. Twitch
.

Ms. Wilde opened the door, but it wasn’t the pizza delivery. I heard the unmistakable sound of girls’ voices.

“Hey! We were just driving by—”

“Move, Sophia. I need the bathroom!”

A moment later, Ms. Wilde was pushed aside as her two friends barged into the apartment, uninvited.

“Shit,” I whispered.

Hang on, did I just say “shit”?

That’s not the thing you should be focusing on right now, moron
.

My eyes darted to Ms. Wilde, still holding the door open and wearing an irritated expression. Thankfully, her aggravation seemed to be directed at her two friends, who were now frozen in place, staring at me as though I were an exciting display at a museum.

“Holy shit!” the girl named Sophia exclaimed, turning to Ms. Wilde. “Isn’t this your lit professor?”

Not after this gets out. I’ll be her
former
lit professor who begs on the street with a sign that says “Will teach contemporary literature for food.” Oh, God, I’m going to starve
.

Ms. Wilde sighed heavily and closed the door. “Yeah, this is Stephen.” She walked over to where I was sitting in the armchair and faced me. “Stephen, you remember Sophia and Megan, right?”

I nodded.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered so quietly that I was sure only I could hear it.

She turned to her friends again and sat down on the armrest of the chair, right beside me. I experienced an overwhelming urge to wrap my arm around her as we faced the judgment of her two friends, but refrained, as it would only make things more incriminating.

“I really have to pee,” Megan announced, dashing toward the bathroom. “Don’t you dare say anything before I get back!”

We sat there in silence with Sophia grinning at us the whole time.

“Oh, this is ridiculous,” Ms. Wilde finally huffed. “What are you guys doing here? I told you I wanted to stay in tonight.”

“I’m sorry,” Sophia replied. “We thought we could watch a movie with you or something. We didn’t know you had company.”

Megan came out of the bathroom and didn’t waste a second before asking Ms. Wilde what I was doing there.

“We’re hanging out,” she answered simply.

“Huh,” Megan said, appraising me. “He doesn’t really seem like your type. Cute, for sure, but not what I expected.”

Hello, I’m sitting right here!

“Sorry for crashing,” she added.

“That’s OK,” Ms. Wilde said, tilting her head to the side to stretch out her neck muscles.

Is she stressed?

Before I could stop myself, I moved my hand up and ran it down the length of her hair. Sophia noticed and smiled. I looked away and lowered my hand, but I could still feel her gaze on me.

Why did I have to do that?

“Look, guys, this can’t get out, OK?” Ms. Wilde said in a firm tone. “It would really fucking suck for the both of us if people find out we’re seeing each other outside class.”

Both girls nodded.

“How long has this been going on?” Megan asked.

“Just this week,” I heard myself reply.

“So…what’s the deal?” Sophia asked. “Are you guys dating?”

“No, we’re just fucking,” Ms. Wilde said matter-of-factly.

“Oh, OK,” Megan said, as if that were a perfectly reasonable explanation.

Sophia was giving me a look I couldn’t decipher.

What is she looking at? Do I have something on my face?

I ran my hand across my mouth and she looked away.

“I guess we should let you two get back to your night,” Sophia said. “I’m really sorry, Jules. I just didn’t think we had secrets between us.”

“That’s OK,” she said. “And I’m sorry too. It’s not that I didn’t trust you.”

“I asked her not to tell anyone,” I interjected. “You shouldn’t blame Julia.”

They both looked at me curiously before nodding.

“I guess we’ll see you tomorrow, then,” Megan said to Ms.—to Julia. It didn’t seem right to keep calling her Ms. Wilde in my head, when I couldn’t regard her as a student at this moment. If anything, she was the one teaching me.

“See you tomorrow, girls. Can you just forget that this happened?” she asked, opening the door for them.

They both laughed.

“Yeah, right,” Sophia said, turning to grin at me. “I wanna hear all about the hot professor sex first thing tomorrow!”

Oh, dear God
.

“Get out of here before I go Rambo on you,” Julia growled, practically pushing them out the door.