Abandoned (13 page)

But instead of going to heaven, or
wherever I’m supposed to go, I’ve gone back in time. That’s why
Lizzie didn’t see me. That’s why I’m faded, like an old photograph.
And that’s why someone lives here and Trooper is younger. I’m
dead.

But why go back in time? It makes no
sense.

Words floated into her mind, her Aunt
April’s voice. ‘He saved his own life by opening his stall
door.’

He was
one of the animals abandoned here
, Lauren suddenly realized.
He was one of the animals left to
die in this barn.

Is that why I’m here? To open his stall
door and set him free? To save him so he can bring me here years
from now?

And then I can die?

Lauren startled when she heard a
car drive into the yard outside. Within seconds she was at the
door, watching. The shiny black car pulled up to the farmhouse. As
soon as the cloud of dust settled, an elegant woman stepped out of
the driver’s seat.

She looks
so out of place,
Lauren thought as she watched the woman
pick her way past the border collie lying on the top step. The
woman acted as if she thought germs were going to leap from the dog
to her immaculate skirt. She raised her hand and daintily tapped on
the door.

Lizzie is
going to hate being at this school, if that’s the kind of lady-like
stuff they teach
, thought Lauren.
I feel even sorrier for her now.

Lauren watched as the front door
opened.

“Welcome, Mrs. Carter,” said Lizzie’s
dad. “Elizabeth is just finishing packing. Would you like a cup
of…” The closed door cut off their voices. Lauren was about to pull
back from the barn door when she noticed some movement out of the
corner of her eye. Lizzie. She was sneaking around the side of the
house. She had climbed out a window. Lauren pulled back as Lizzie
sprinted across the yard toward her. She raced past Lauren without
seeing her, flung Trooper’s stall door open and threw her arms
around the golden gelding’s neck.

She can’t
see me,
Lauren reminded herself. She tried to still her
breathing as she crept toward the stall. When she peered over the
half door, she saw Lizzie’s shoulders shake with silent sobs.

“It’s just not fair, Ben,” the girl said
in a broken voice. “Why did my mom have to die? And now my dad
doesn’t want me anymore. And I don’t know what I did wrong. If I
knew I could change, but he won’t even tell me. And what am I going
to do without you? I won’t have anyone in the whole world. I’ll be
totally alone.”

Lauren slipped through the open stall
door. Trooper nickered to her and reached out to nuzzle her, but
Lizzie didn’t look up. She was still sobbing into his mane.

“I understand,” Lauren whispered. “My
mom died too, or I thought she did. I know how terrible it feels.”
There was no reaction from Lizzie.
She can’t hear me either,
remembered Lauren. Slowly,
she reached out and touched Lizzie on the shoulder.

“Leave me alone, Dad. I don’t want to
go. How can you make me go?” said Lizzie, her voice full of anger.
Lauren quickly pulled her hand away and took a step back as Lizzie
turned toward her. She looked straight at Lauren, and as Lauren
watched, Lizzie’s face first became puzzled, then frightened.

“Who’s there?” she asked, her eyes
searching the barn. Lauren was afraid to move, afraid her feet
would rustle the straw and that Lizzie would hear it.

“Mom?” asked Lizzie finally, her voice
soft. “Was that you?” She turned back to Trooper and threw her arms
around him again. “What if that was my mom?” she said to Trooper.
“What if she came to me and I told her to leave me alone? Oh Ben, I
mess everything up. It's no wonder Dad doesn’t want me anymore.”
Lizzie slid into the straw at Trooper’s feet and buried her face in
her hands. She started to sob again.

Without thinking of the consequences,
Lauren knelt in the straw beside Lizzie and reached out. She put
her hand on the long silver-blonde hair and began to stroke it,
just as if Lizzie were Spunky or Tiger. Lizzie became quieter. She
hugged Trooper’s front legs and her sobs slowly died away. Peace
floated back into the barn.

Trooper bent his head and sniffed
Lauren, then nickered gently.
He’s
saying thanks,
Lauren realized.
He’s thanking me for helping Lizzie.
She put her
other hand on his face. “I know how she feels,” she whispered to
Trooper, knowing that Lizzie couldn’t hear her. “All lost and
alone. You’re the only one who knows I even exist, Trooper.”

“Elizabeth!” Lizzie’s dad was calling
her. “It’s time to go!”

Lizzie stiffened. Lauren pulled her hand
away as Lizzie turned toward her, her gaze searching the empty air.
One last tear trickled down Lizzie’s cheek, but she didn’t bother
to brush it away. “Thanks Mom,” she finally whispered. “Thanks for
letting me know I’m not alone, not really. I’ll try to be strong.
And I love you.”

Shakily, Lizzie stood and threw her arms
around Trooper’s neck. “Goodbye, Trooper. I’ll see you at
Christmastime. Don’t worry. Dad promised me he wouldn’t sell you.
You’ll always be my best friend.”

When Lizzie opened the door to the
stall, Lauren slipped out with her. She watched as Lizzie went to
the house, kicking at the ground as she walked. Mrs. Carter met her
at the door and they shook hands. Lauren was impressed with how
straight and strong Lizzie looked as she shook Mrs. Carter’s hand.
The two of them walked into the house and came out a few minutes
later with Lizzie’s suitcases.

Her dad put the suitcases in the trunk
of the car, then gave Lizzie a hug. Lauren noticed that she didn’t
hug him back. Her arms hung at her side, her hands curled into
fists. She turned away as soon as he released her and climbed into
the passenger side of the car.

But
she’ll be okay
, thought Lauren as she watched the car drive
away.
She’s a survivor. I’m glad I
could help her. I wonder if I just changed the past by making
Lizzie think her mom was here.

She walked back to Trooper’s stall. The
gelding put his head over the door and nickered as she approached.
“Will you remember me, Troops? Is that why you brought me here? Or
is all this as new to you as it is to me? I really don’t understand
this time travel stuff.” She touched the crescent star between his
eyes. He lowered his head further and she laid her cheek against
his warmth.

“You know what I think, Troops?” she
asked, pulling back to look into his dark brown eyes. She stroked
his golden cheek with colourless fingers. “I don’t think you
brought me here on purpose. I don’t think you would hurt me. I
think you just remembered this place and wanted to come back.”

She paused, deep in thought. “I don’t
think I was sent back in time to save you, Troops. You did that
yourself because you’re smart and you figured out how to open your
stall latch. I don’t think I was even sent back to comfort Lizzie,
though that might be important too.” She shook her head. “No, I’m
here to save the animals, all the pretty cows and goats and
chickens. And the other horse I haven’t even seen yet. And I’m
going to do it. Somehow. I promise. But I better hurry. I don’t
know how much time I have.”

Lauren walked back to the barn
door in time to see Lizzie’s dad walk into the house, his head
hanging down. She almost felt sorry for him when he didn’t have the
energy to even shut the door behind him. Almost, but not quite.

He’s the
one who sent her away
, she reminded herself.
He doesn’t deserve my sympathy.

But still, I’ve got to find out what
happens to him. He’s the key. It’s the only thing I can think of.
Something happens to him so he can’t take care of the animals. And
then no one knows anything is wrong, until it’s too late to save
them.

Lauren stepped out into the yard. The
border collie on the porch was watching her. When it growled, she
took a step back. “It’s okay, scary dog,” she said in her most
soothing voice. “I’m not here to hurt anyone. And Sweetie likes me.
You would too, if you gave me a chance.”

Slowly she walked toward the house, her
hand out. When her foot hit the bottom stair leading to the porch,
the dog started to bark at her, his hackles raised. “I’m not going
to hurt you, pup,” she said to the dog, inching closer. “Don’t
worry. I’m just visiting for a while. As soon as I do what I need
to do, I’ll go. I promise.”

Suddenly the door burst open and
Lizzie’s dad stepped out onto the porch. As he looked across the
stable yard, Lauren took the opportunity to race up the rest of the
stairs and slip inside the kitchen. “What is it, Jessie?” he asked.
The dog stopped barking as soon as Lauren was out of sight.
Standing in the kitchen, she could hear him whining, then Lizzie’s
dad walk toward him. “It’s okay, boy,” said the man. “I miss her
too.”

While Lizzie’s dad was petting the dog,
Lauren hurried through the kitchen and crept up the stairs. She
knew what she was looking for. The photo album the mother mouse
would one day use to raise her babies in. If Lauren really had gone
back into the past, the album would be in fine shape. And she might
find a clue there.

She fumbled with the drawer handles and
finally was able to slide it open. The album was there, exactly
where she thought it would be. Lauren carried it to the bed and sat
down with the album on her lap. She paused before opening it. If
Lizzie’s dad came in what would he see? The album suspected in
midair with pages turning? She moved to a chair that sat in the
corner. At least here she wouldn’t be instantly noticeable if he
came into the room.

She turned the pages clumsily, one after
the next. The book was full of pictures of first a young girl, then
a teenager, and then a young woman. Lauren became more and more
intrigued as she leafed through the album. An entire childhood was
on display. First, a tiny baby with her mother. Then a six-year-old
girl with a golden collie. The girl’s head barely reached the dog’s
shoulder. There she was riding a brown horse when she was twelve.
Ribbons fluttering from the horse’s bridle.

She looks
familiar
, thought Lauren and then frowned.
But from where? Maybe she’s someone who still lives in
Misty Lake. Someone I’ve seen in town somewhere, even though she’d
be a lot older now.

There was a picture of the same girl
with the same horse when she was about sixteen, but this time a
black foal stood beside them.
How
wonderful.
Lauren
sighed.
She had the most
perfect life.
There was one photo of the girl with her
parents, but Lauren turned that page quickly. “Happy family scenes
really aren’t my thing right now,” she muttered. The last photo in
the book showed the young woman in a wedding dress, arm in arm with
a young man, her new husband.

Her dress
is so beautiful
, thought Lauren.
She looks like she loves her husband so much and it’s
obvious he adores her too. He’s not the kind of man who would send
his daughter away.

An envelope was tucked between the last
page and the back cover. Lauren could tell by feeling it that there
were photos inside the envelope. With difficulty, she opened the
envelope and photos spilled out onto the photo album pages. Lauren
spread them out with awkward fingers. They were photos of the same
woman, but she looked different. She was a little older and her
face was white and thin. In two of the pictures, she was with the
man she had married, but in one his head was turned away from the
photographer and in the other he was looking at the ground. Lauren
couldn’t see his face clearly in either one.