Read A Winter Awakening Online
Authors: Vivian Slate
Dust flew up from the back stall in the barn as Jacob walked in.
He chuckled, “Now Pork Chop, it’s only me.” The bin of oats across from the hall was still half full. Jacob took out a scoop and offered it to his Red Dun Mustang.
Pork Chop eyed the oats but continued his restless antics at the back of the stall.
“Pork Chop, it is a peace offering, boy. Take it.” Jacob started to relax. A trip to his childhood barn was just what he needed. Pork Chop was unable to resist the treat, and came over for a nibble. Jacob admired his glossy tan coat for a few minutes, then made his way to the ladder which led to the hay loft. This is where he came when he was a kid and needed space from his siblings. The smell of hay, leather, and horses was comforting to him.
A cat scurried into a corner when Jacob climbed the ladder into the hay loft. It wasn't distracted for long though. It quickly crouched back down into the stalking position and crept toward a pile of hay in the corner. Jacob took a seat on the ledge and dangled his feet over the side.
Spending time with Sarina's boys last night had put him on edge. No. Let's be honest. He was more than on edge. Jacob was pissed at God.
He studied the wall behind the rope swing, looking for the initials he and his siblings had carved into the wood as children. It was faded now; the wood inside the carving had turned gray with age. But after a few minutes, he found the carvings.
Will I ever have children that can add to this wall?
he wondered.
Just then, his Golden Retriever Sammy came running into the barn, wagging his tail and giving away Jacob's position.
"Typical, Sammy," said Jacob. "You gave me away as a kid, and you are doing it now."
Sure enough, fresh on Sammy's tail came Jacob's mom, Maggie.
"Sammy always knows where to find you," she laughed.
Jacob gave her a half grin, but didn't move.
Every year Maggie had spent on the ranch seeped into her DNA. Her kindness and beauty radiated through the weathered skin on her face. Her long fingers wrapped around the rungs of the ladder as she made her way to the loft. She joined him on the ledge of the hay loft and said, "What brings you to this neck of the woods?" She knew full well that the only thing that brought Jacob to this loft was trouble.
When Jacob and Ellie married, Jacob was given twenty acres out of the original ranch, a wedding gift from his parents. He was pleased to still be on the family land, and his parents were happy to have him less than a mile down the road.
Jacob smiled at her, "And you still always know how to cut right to the heart of the matter."
She smiled and gave her shoulder a squeeze,but didn't say anything. She knew all his tricks, and wasn't going to let him change the subject.
The cat had crept closer to them, and was now in the corner nearest to them. She pounced on her prey, as Jacob looked down at his feet.
"Am I being punished?" he asked.
"What do you mean?" replied Maggie.
"There is this woman, a friend of Ellie's. She is divorced and has two boys." Jacob paused and watched the cat as she walked around the loft proudly, mouse in her mouth.
"There is a man out there somewhere," he continued, "with two boys and he doesn't show up. He won't be a father to them."
For a few moments, the only sound in the barn was the paws of the proud cat, circling the loft.
"And you want to know why God hasn't given you a son?" asked Maggie.
Jacob's jaw ached. While he wasn't able to respond, he was comforted by his mother's presence. She always knew when he could use a little guidance. This particular topic was too difficult to stay on, however, so he changed the topic.
"And I have just been horrible to Ellie. Her uncle passed away. She told me about it and I snapped at her."
"I see," replied Maggie.
They sat in silence, Maggie giving him the space she knew he needed. He always figured it out when he was given enough time to think.
Finally, he said, "I can't bring her uncle back, and I can't give her a baby."
Again, Maggie replied with a simple, "I see."
Eventually he stood up and thanked her for the talk.
“You know I am always here for you.” She wrapped her strong arms around him and gave him a squeeze before he left.
Maggie stayed in the loft for another half an hour, praying for her son and her daughter-in-law. She prayed they would both find compassion, understanding, and that, God willing, they would give her a grandchild.
Ellie sat in her favorite corner of Willow's Coffee Shop, waiting for Sarina. The weight of her uncle's absence settled on her chest as she sat there, in his shop.
When Sarina came breezing in, a few young bachelors of Logan glanced her way. She was an average looking woman with medium length curly auburn hair and a cute enough face. The thing that turned heads was that fit, athletic body coupled with those large, obviously fake breasts. Ellie wondered what would have driven her to take such drastic measures with her body. She could alter her body like that, but judging the reaction of other people in the coffee shop, men apparently didn't care if they were fake.
"Sarina!" Ellie rose to greet her at the table.
"Oh, Ellie. I'm so glad you called." Something in the tone of her voice had the flavor of insincerity, but Ellie had grown accustomed to that. She assumed it was due to her nervousness about being new to town. Maybe it was because she wanted so badly to make friends here.
Being the new girl in town is hard. I remember it well,
thought Ellie.
"Tell me" said Sarina, resting her hand on Ellie's. "What happened? You sounded upset yesterday."
Ellie told Sarina about her uncle, the will, and Jacob's reaction.
"I don't understand it, Sarina. He was behaving so strangely. Could it be because the trip will be expensive? He made some sort of reference to money last night." Ellie thought back to his reaction. He said that if she went to the reading of the will, he wouldn't pay for the trip. Ellie sighed and took another sip of her vanilla latte.
"It sounds to me like ol' Jakey Poo is feeling a little threatened by the thought of you traveling without him. Talking to you as a fellow sister and woman, I just don't want you to hold yourself back because he is nervous. Certainly you loved your uncle, and don't you love to travel? Why shouldn't you go?"
Ellie thought Sarina made a lot of sense. She was right.
The attorney said I should go, Jacob is being unreasonable in asking me not to go, and I could use a few days to say goodbye to my uncle,
she thought.
"Maybe you are right," sighed Ellie. "I'm just still so worried about Jacob. Maybe he is experiencing financial pressures. What has gotten into him?"
"Oh, he will come around." Sarina gave Ellie's hand a pat, then took a drink of her own latte.
"I don't know. I still have the Burlesque to plan, and it is in less than a week now. The timing is rotten!" Ellie shook her head back and forth, as if to clear away her troubles. "That is enough about me. What is new with you?"
Ellie and Sarina spent the next twenty minutes sharing stories about Sarina's kids, projects around the house, and Sarina's dance class. It sounds as if the Burlesque group was going to be ready for their risqué performance next week.
Just before it was time to go, Sarina leaned forward and said, "Ellie, I've got the perfect idea. I'll put the finishing touches on the Burlesque show, and that will allow you to run out to Phoenix to take care of the will! You and Jacob come over to my house for dinner, and we will take care of all the final plans." She sat back with a look of smug satisfaction on her face.
"I don't know. That is so much to ask of you."
"Are you kidding me?" gasped Sarina. "I could do it in my sleep. Before I moved to Logan, I was a party planner! Besides, we women need to stick together and support one another."
The two friends said their goodbyes and as Ellie left the coffee shop, she thought about what Sarina had said. She was right! There was no reason for Ellie to miss the reading of Uncle Emery's will, and besides, it sounded as if Sarina had more than enough skill to put the finishing touches on the Burlesque.
Now, she just had to tell Jacob the news.
Other than leading the prayer before they ate, Jacob didn’t say a word during dinner. Only the oppressive silence and the aroma of steak filled the house. Just before they finished eating, Ellie decided to try and mend the fence. "Jacob? Are you upset because I didn't make dinner last night?"
He placed his fork on the plate and looked at her. "No,babe. Is that what you thought?"
Ellie shrugged and waited for him to say something more.
He picked up his fork and took another bite.
"Is it..." she paused, “are we having money trouble?"
"No."
Ellie looked down at her plate and whispered, "I'm not pregnant. Is that it?"
Jacob took her hand in his and leaned over to her, placing his forehead on hers. "We are both sad about that, babe. We just need to keep trying."
Ellie searched his face, looking for a connection or sign of warmth or understanding. She found nothing but his firm, sharp features. The warmth she usually found in his eyes was gone. He picked his fork back up and ate the last few bites of his meal. That was Jacob; always so reserved with his thoughts.
Ellie took a deep breath and gathered the courage to tell Jacob of her decision to go to Phoenix. She told him she would cut back on her shopping to pay for the trip, and of Sarina's offer to help with the Burlesque show. He still appeared to be upset, but didn't protest her decision.
When they climbed into bed, Ellie ran her fingers lightly over his back and shoulders, something that always caught his attention. Instead of his usual reaction though, he shrugged her away and pulled the blanket up over his shoulder.
He must be really upset
, thought Ellie. She rolled to her own side of the bed, and just as she was drifting off to sleep, she remembered something about her conversation with Sarina.
What was it she had said? "ol' Jakey Poo is feeling a little threatened by the thought of you traveling without him."
Jakey Poo? Since when did she call him Jakey Poo? I don't call him Jakey Poo. His mom doesn't call him Jakey Poo. What in the world made Sarina think she could call her husband Jakey Poo?
Ellie tried to dismiss this strange behavior as she drifted off to sleep. The next few days would be busy. Between packing, trying to smooth things over with Jacob, and giving Sarina all the information she would need to put the finishing touches on the Burlesque she would have her hands full.
Sarina settled herself into a comfortable chair, took a few breaths, then picked up the phone and dialed...
At the sound of Mr. Laugh Lines voice, she slowly exhaled,
"Oh, Jacob. Hello, handsome!" she gushed into the phone.
"I was just calling to remind you and that gorgeous wife of yours about our dinner tonight." Sarina said with her subtly seductive tone.
"Oh, hold a moment please Sarina. Let me check with Ellie. She has been so busy with projects around the house that she hasn't packed yet and her flight leaves early tomorrow."
Yes! My plan worked. Platinum is leaving town,
thought Sarina.
Now, if I can figure out how to get some time alone with Jacob.
"Babe?" Sarina could hear Jacob yelling for Mrs. Platinum. After a while, he returned to the phone, "Sarina, Ellie says she just doesn't have time to make it. I'm sorry."
"Oh no. I was look forward to this dinner with you." She paused a moment and added, "I still need to review ideas for the Burlesque show and I have an idea for a dish I think you will absolutely love." She paused, and dropped her voice in an effort to show concern, "Jacob, it would be such a shame if the show fell apart at the last minute."
She was met with silence on the other end of the phone. Was he considering coming? Sarina wanted him to, of course, but it was even more important that he thought it was his idea. As hard as it was to bite her tongue, she waited for him to reply. She picked up the handkerchief she had found in the field that evening so long ago. Resisting the urge to speak, she sprayed a little of Jacob’s cologne on the handkerchief and closed her eyes. The clove and vanilla aroma gave her the resolve to keep silent. She hoped - he wouldn't be able to take the silence, and decide to fill it with a decision to come.
"You know," he finally said, "I'll come anyway. I'm sure Ellie will appreciate knowing the show will be taken care of!"
"Great! See you at eight?" she asked.
When he agreed, Sarina hung up the phone triumphantly.
Finally just the two of us.
She grabbed her keys and rushed out the door. Her first stop was at the spa in the next town over, for an impromptu Brazilian wax. She needed to be ready, just in case. Besides, she always felt sexier when she was freshly groomed. Next stop was to get her nails and hair done, and finally, she stopped in the adult shop to pick up a new bustier.
Next on the list was the market to pick up the local produce she needed for the homemade Ravioli recipe she had tested out last week. Finally, home to bathe, pamper herself with her finest body butter, and dress in something suggestive but not obvious. As she put her bustier on, she admired her new figure in the mirror.
Oh, yes! He will love this,
she thought. She definitely needed to pick out a blouse with a low swooping neck.
Finally, she placed some candles and a bouquet of flowers on her bedside table, and checked the top drawer to be sure her lube and lighter were handy.
She could hardly contain her excitement. Finally! She and Jacob would be alone. Week after week, she was tortured with her proximity to him, only to have Platinum right there interfering with her ability to get close to him. Despite this distraction, she had still learned so much more about his desires, his strengths, and yes, his weaknesses. She had been right about him that first day she had spotted him in the hardware store and followed him home. He was an amazing husband. And, yes, he was a tit man too. She couldn't be sure, but she thought she may have seen him stealing a glace of her cleavage a time or two.
Sarina checked her clock. She still had an hour before he was set to arrive. Damn. Her libido was already waking up in anticipation of his arrival. Luckily, her Ravioli recipe demanded enough attention to keep her busy while she waited. She passed the time rolling out the pasta dough, making the stuffing, and pinching together the pieces to form her made-from-scratch ravioli. Of course, she also spent time, sipping from her glass of wine, listening to an international music station, and daydreaming about Mr. Laugh Lines. At long last came the knock on the door.
She rushed over to the entrance pushing her breasts up as she went. Just before opening the door, she pulled her shirt down revealing the lace at the top of her bustier and enough cleavage to make any man blush. She turned, and opened the door.
"Jakey! I'm so glad you made it." She put her hand on his arm and guided him in. To her pleasure, he didn't pull away from her touch. She had to catch her breath at the feel of his biceps under her hand.
"Come in. Can I get you a drink?" She intentionally positioned herself so that she would have to brush by him closely to get to the kitchen. As she did so, she was sure to push her breasts firmly against his chest as she passed. "I've got beer, a nice Merlot, or water."
"I'll have a beer," he said. Sarina's breath caught at the sound of his gravelly voice.
Shit, I want him.
"Jacob, I'm so glad you came even though Ellie couldn't make it. I was disappointed to hear that I won't have a chance to catch up with her tonight." She poured him a glass and slid it across the bar to him. She then poured one for herself and held it up for a toast. She was a wine girl, but he didn't need to know that. If he is a beer man, she can certainly be a beer woman.
"Cheers." They clicked glasses, and she locked eyes with him. She didn't look away as she took a sip.
"Jacob, I'm glad we will have a chance to talk tonight. I've been having some trouble with my boys, and I wondered if you could help. You seem like you will be such a good dad someday."
Jacob looked around the house, as if expecting to see them. A few games and a console sat on the floor in front of the TV. He listened for the sound of children coming from the back rooms, but only soft indie music filled his ears. His shoulders dropped in disappointment.
"Where are the boys?" he asked.
"They are with my mom tonight. A little grandma time is good for them."
"Do they ever see their dad?" he asked.
"No," was her only reply. He didn't need to know that the only reason he doesn't is because she keeps moving and doesn't always inform him right away about her new location.
Jacob looked at her, as if waiting for more information, but she wasn't forthcoming. Instead, she continued with her praises, "You really will be such a good dad. I was so impressed with how you handled them the other night."
"Oh, not really, Sarina, I just encou..."
But he couldn't finish this thought. "Call me Sari,” she interrupted. "All my closest friends do."
"Okay," he hesitated. "Sari, I'm just a typical man. I'm not a dad, yet."
Sarina thought she could detect a note of sadness in his voice.
Are they unable to conceive? Perhaps this will be my ticket in...
she thought.
"You are anything but typical," she gushed as she walked around the end of the counter and sat on the stool next to him, being sure to let her knee graze his leg as she found a place on her stool.
He started to protest.
"No, really Jacob, you are a rare man. Someone that knows his strength, but is still a kind and compassionate leader... these qualities will make you an amazing dad. I wish my boys had a father figure like you." She started wondering if she was pushing it too far, but with a glance his way, she could see that she was touching on something close to home for him.
Okay, so he responds to verbal praise,
she noted
.
She got up and walked back around to the kitchen. The sauce she would pour over her ravioli was simmering.
“It smells delicious,” Jacob remarked. Sarina took a deep satisfied breath.
Enjoy this now and me later,
she thought.
“I enjoy cooking,” she replied. She carried the hot dish to the table, found the lighter, and handed it to Jacob. "Will you light the candles, please?"
After they were seated, Sarina cut a piece of ravioli in half and brought the fork to her mouth. As she did, she glanced up at Jacob and noticed his head was bowed and his hands were folded in his lap.
Oh, shit. Is he praying?
She placed the fork back on her plate as quietly as she could and waited.
A man of God; that is hot as hell,
she thought.
He looked up at her, gave her a little nod, and took a bite.
“This is delicious,” he remarked between bites.
Toward the end of dinner, Sarina remarked, “You seem sad tonight, Jacob. I don’t mean to pry, but I care about you and Ellie. What is it?”
After asking for another beer, Jacob said, "Ellie and I are trying to have a baby. I am starting to give up hope. Family is everything to me, and I can't imagine being condemned to a life with no children." Jacob snapped his mouth shut. He was startled to hear such strong words coming out of his mouth, and to a virtual stranger.
Sarina continued to find ways to touch him through the evening, and he never did pull away. A brush on his arm here, a light touch on his hand there. At the end of the meal, she leaned over the table to blow out the candles, being sure to position herself so that her shirt fell forward and revealed her full cleavage to him. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him blush.
She sat back down, scooting her chair closer to him. Letting her knee move its way between his legs, she leaned close to him and put her hand on his. A jolt of electricity rushed up her arm at the feel of his hand under hers.
The sun had dropped behind the mountain range to the west at some point during dinner. Now, the softness of dusk urged Sarina to draw closer to him.
Oh, what those hands will do to me soon,
she thought
.
"Jacob, I am sorry you are so unhappy. Is there anything I can do?" She gave his hand a squeeze, looked into his eye, and said, "You are so amazing. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be with someone that can give you everything you need."
She could see it, then; in his eyes. The deep love he had for Ellie was unmistakable. The anguish he felt over their situation was also apparent. He rose and paced the length of the room.
And something else too,
she mused.
Perhaps regret that he had told her so much.
After a moment, he came to a stop near the front door. "You are right, Sari. I do deserve happiness, and I love Ellie. I'm sorry to cut this short, but I need to go home and help her pack. I haven't been fair to her in all of this. Thank you for dinner."
Shit. That was not the point. Sarina could feel the heat swell in her chest. She looked around the dim room, trying to find another way to get him to stay. Her eyes landed on the dessert glasses sitting on the counter next to the fridge.
"Must you go? We haven't had dessert yet." She said as she moved over to him, standing just inside his personal space.
"I'm sorry. I know it is abrupt. Thank you so much for listening to me. It is nice to be heard." He put his hands on her shoulders, and she used this opportunity to bring him in for a hug. She rubbed her hands up the front of his shirt; over his abs, his chest, out to his shoulders. His muscles tensed under her touch, but he didn't pull away.
Holy Shit. He is conflicted! He is enjoying this touch.
She moved her hands back down his chest, toward his abs, then around to his back, pushing her hard chest against him and resting her head on his shoulder. The scent of his body was heaven. She could feel the heat pool between her legs. He returned her embrace, though his touch was not sensual.
And yet, as she held him, she felt his dick twitch.
Yes. He is enjoying my touch. I know we have chemistry.
"Okay, then. Drive safely, and say hello to Ellie. Let her know I will handle the Burlesque show."
She pulled back just enough to look up into his eyes, bringing her hands back to his biceps.
He glanced down, for just a fraction of a second, to her cleavage, and then he was gone.
Sarina finished cleaning up after dinner, then sat down at her table with the Burlesque folder Ellie had sent with Jacob. She analyzed all the work Ellie had done. Ticket pre-sales, catering, decorating, entertainers.
Maybe this show holds all my answers, thought Sarina.
She found her "Win Over Mr. Laugh Lines To Do List" and put it next to the Burlesque information. Opening her favorite brew, she sat back in her chair and considered the options.