A Way (The Voyagers Book 1) (5 page)

She was getting used to their banter.  They both had a competitive streak, maybe they could play a game of chess later.  She had spotted a board in the room with the leather couch.

He thought for a moment and looked up at the ceiling in mock concentration. “Full name.”

Easy
. If he had her phone number she was pretty sure he already knew the answer. 

“Jessica Leia Westley”.  Her brother wasn’t the only Star Wars fan in the family.  “Jessie Westley,” she cleared her throat. “Next question.”

“How long have you lived in the city?” 

“A little over three months.”

“Why was last night the first time you decided to talk to me?”  His last question caught her off guard, it had all been going so smoothly. 

“What do you mean?  Have I seen you at Central before?” 

“Jessie, you saw me long before you even knew Central existed.” They held each other’s gaze, both equally intense.  It was a staring contest that neither of them cared who won. 

She broke the connection first and laughed a little louder then she intended.  “What the hell does that mean?” 

The staring contest was over. He grinned, this one reaching the lines springing faintly from the corners his baby browns.  “Another question for later, maybe you should start writing them down.” 

Banter had never been more infuriating or fascinating. She would let him play his game a little longer.  She trusted his eyes, hoping her instinct hadn’t just lost that one point she was so proud of awarding it earlier.  She twisted around on the kitchen stool and hopped onto the floor.  Duke peered up from his floor treasures and crossed behind her to his water dish.  Question period was over and she was no closer to getting any answers.

*******

With her belly full,
surely she wouldn’t have to eat again that day
, Dex handed her a fresh beer. This time he trailed her into the room where his friends had switched from playing games to listening to music. A ballgame was on the TV, the volume muted.  They sank down into the more comfortable than they looked beanbag chairs, Jessie setting her beer on the side table, Dex holding his loosely on his knee.  Adam gave them a quick rundown on what was happening in the game. Jessie was more of a hockey girl, but she listened intently to his exuberant play by play.  Samantha had moved to a spot on the floor, in front of the stereo, a plethora of CD’s scattered around her.

“What do you guys want to listen to?”  She said ‘you guys’, but her question was directed to Jessie.

“I like anything.” Jessie knew that was the easy answer, but she really did.  Samantha glanced around her and reached for a CD, buried under three others to her right, and held it up.

“How about this one?”  It was Jessie’s favorite band, of course it was.  The way things were going she half expected her grade school best friend to walk through the door. 

She watched Samantha.  Her short hair was clipped back behind her multiple piercing filled ears.  She was dressed in a black baby doll dress, bright patterned tights and a pair of the socks Dex had told her about.  With one swift motion, she opened the player, inserted the selected disc, and turned up the volume before the anticipated tunes started.  When the music filled the room, Samantha looked as if she wanted to get up and dance, thought twice about it, and skipped back to her spot on the couch.  She tossed one leg over Pete and reached to grab her beer off the coffee table. 

Jessie coiled her legs under herself and tried to look interested in the game. The players were inexplicably moving to the beat of one of her favorite songs.  She caught Dex’s eyes and smiled.  She felt comfortable, content, like she had just climbed out of a warm bath, wrapped herself in a fuzzy robe, and settled beside a wood stove for the night. 
What was the number for that shrink?

Samantha sprung up again. Jessie liked how she couldn’t seem to sit still, a bumble bee bouncing from flower to flower.  She buzzed out of the room and returned carrying a bag of Oreo’s, a thirst quenched Duke on her heels.  She knelt down, beside Jessie, and leaned over to whisper in her ear. 

“I’m so glad you are finally here, Jessie.”  She held up the bag of cookies. “You’re far from crazy.  Cookie?”

CHAPTER 10

The afternoon slowly turned into evening.  The group got a little bit louder and in Adam’s case, disgusted, as he watched his team lose by one run in the ninth.  Pete asked Jessie about her writing, volunteering to her that he liked to draw. He liked her suggestion that he illustrate the cover of her future book that had more of a chance of writing itself back in her apartment, without her there to interrupt it.  Samantha switched the music to some sort of 90’s dance torture and tried to get Jessie to join her in the chorography that accompanied it. When she was unsuccessful, Dex declared it was time to move outside to start the fire he had mentioned to Jessie.  She flashed him a ‘thank you for saving me from uncoordinated embarrassment’ look.
Maybe we have met before.

Jessie welcomed a bit of time outside, regardless of how comfortable the chair, she had spent the late afternoon in, was.  The sun that graced them with its presence when she first left Madison had quickly hidden itself again, forcing them to remain inside for the reminder of the day.  A disappointed Samantha didn’t seem to share Jessie’s enthusiasm towards movement, but went off to find her a fully intact pair of socks anyway.  Jessie wanted to look through the closet to find a sweater that was heavier than the one she purchased from the boutique in Madison, but first she picked her phone up, off the wobbly end table, and re-read Ger’s texts.

Should I be worried
?
Sent at, 1:02             

You went to meet that guy didn’t you? I hope he showere
d
Sent at, 1:14. 

Ger was used to the perfectly groomed, not a hair out of place, probably wearing skinny jeans, type of guy.  Jessie definitely was not, and smiled to herself, picturing the towel dried hair, t-shirt, doc wearing guy upstairs.

Ok, only semi-worried, but text me back OK
?
Sent at, 1:45. 

For Ger to go from probably not worried to maybe a bit worried in forty-three minutes meant she was probably worried.  There was another tone Jessie could detect, but she didn’t have time to decipher it.  Jessie sent a text that she hoped would tamp down her friend’s thoughts without having to get into a long texting session.

In the country with Dex and a few of his friends…..he’s nice, don’t worry.  I wrote the address down on the junk mail on my kitchen table….text you later xox
o
. 
Send. 

Jessie switched the phone ring tone setting to silent.  She made a promise to herself to make more of an effort to look at it more often.  Along with the convenience of a cell phone came the paranoia that an emergency was sure to happen during the five minutes since it was last checked.

She was standing in front of the open closet, contemplating its contents, when Dex returned from putting on a plaid shirt to cover his t-shirt, reached past her, grabbed an oversized, bright yellow, pullover, and handed to her.  She held the heavy sweater back from herself, considering it. 

“You’re kidding, right? I’ll look like big bird.” She handed it back to him. He handed it back to her. 

“A very cute big bird, yellow is your color.”

Funny
, she thought,
pink has always been my color
, but pulling after it over her head and checking herself in the mirror she realized he was right.  The first thing she would do when she got back to the city was buy more yellow.  It made her mousy, sometimes blond, hair shine with a brightness she was only able to achieve with a full summer in the sun.  Her reflection smiled at Dex who was watching just over her shoulder. 
What was next?  Would he pull a pug puppy out of his jacket?
Here, I figured you always wanted one.’ 

Adam yelled from down the hall. “Where are the marshmallows?”   No pug puppy had appeared.

*******

Jessie and Dex substituted their beers for ginger ale, neither had thought about food again, until Adam came out of the kitchen carrying a cooler full of hotdogs, buns and condiments.  It also contained smores ingredients and a not yet opened, oddly shaped, bottle full of a purple liquid that reminded Jessie of a drink her best friend’s big brother would pick up for them before a high school dance.

“It’s for Sammy,” Adam explained as he passed them in the hall. “Why that girl can’t drink like a normal semi-alcoholic, I’ll never figure out.”  And then to Pete who was exiting the cubby they had spent the afternoon in. “She’s your girlfriend man, you carry it.”

He tossed the jug to him, like a football, and bounded out of the house before Pete could protest.

Samantha appeared at the top of the stairs with a triumphant, ‘found some’, and skipped down them like a baby deer. She thrust the socks into Jessie’s hands, who sat down to pull them on.  She rubbed her fingers over the cashmere soft material, more than once, her chilled feet, instantly warmed. Dex grabbed both her hands to help her up.  They stood with their fingers entwined for a few frozen seconds, forgetting that the sock providing Samantha was standing a few feet away. 
His eyes
. There was something about his eyes and the way he looked at her. Jessie couldn’t put her finger on it.  She hoped that would be part of the answers he had promised to provide.  

Samantha cleared her throat, a little embarrassed, a lot impatient; she had stood still too long.  Dex and Jessie turned to look at her, dropping their hands to their sides.  Pete passed his girlfriend the bottle Adam had thrown at him and together they descended the porch stairs and crossed the lawn to a crudely made, yet perfectly functional, fire pit.  There were already four chairs forming an uneven circle around it and Adam set down the cooler to grab a fifth one from the garage. 

Samantha claimed a seat at the far side of the not yet burning fire and patted the one beside her for Jessie.  She produced a plastic cup from inside the front pocket of her Packers hoodie.  Jessie accepted the invitation and watched Samantha expertly hold the two liter bottle between her knees, twist the cap off and pour the fruity drink up to the rim of her portable cup.  Concentrating on not spilling her sweet beverage she slowly moved to face Jessie.

“Want some?” Samantha offered.

Jessie shook her head and held up her glass of red wine splashed ginger ale. “Thanks, I’m good, but maybe later?”  She did like to revisit her teen years, through drink, every now and then.

Samantha set the bottle down, leaning it up against the leg of her chair to prevent it from falling over. They both sipped their drinks and watched Dex pile kindling in the pit with the experience of a Cub Scout leader. As the early summertime campfire came to life, it cast a balmy glow over the five chairs and their occupants.

“So Jessie, who’s the blond that was with you last night?”  Adam started the campfire chatter by confirming what she thought when she first met him.  Adam was with Dex at the bar and, of course, he had noticed Ger. Every guy that had a heart beat noticed Ger.  Jessie smiled, thinking of her friend.

“That’s Ger.  I lived with her when I first came to the city.”  She paused, wondering how much information she should divulge about her flamboyant friend.  Adam’s expression urged her to continue.  “She’s twenty-four, works for an advertising company, has size eight feet, is a natural blond and would love you, Adam.”

He grinned wider than the Joker and slapped his thigh, hard enough to startle Samantha and Pete out of the private conversation they were having. “Dammit, I told you Dex, but no you thought it was a bad idea to buy her a drink.”

Jessie noticed a look exchanged between Dex and his friend, but it was gone before she could identify it.  She looked at Dex. “Why didn’t you let him buy her a drink? You guys could’ve joined us.”

“There wasn’t time.  The other guy that was with us had to work this morning and I needed to get home to let Duke out.  If we sent drinks over to your table we probably would’ve been there all night.”  Dex explained, his voice tight.

Jessie accepted his answer, without asking for a further explanation, even though it didn’t explain why he was standing on the street an hour after he, Adam, and the nameless dude had left. Back to Adam “Next time,” she gave him an encouraging smile. 

Adam considered the subject closed and opened another. “What’s the tattoo on your wrist?” 

Another easy question
.
Keep them coming
. Jessie glanced down at her favorite tattoo, the one she actually put some thought into before allowing it to be permanently etched onto her body. 

“It’s Elliot. Pete’s Dragon.  I always thought when I was a kid, he would come rescue me, from my far from tough life.  It’s just little and black and white, not completely tacky, just enough so people that really know the movie would recognize it.” 
Maybe I hadn’t completely thought it through
.  Self-doubt 1.  “I loved Pete’s Dragon. Watching it was like remembering something that I’d forgotten.”  Pete.

Jessie looked across the flames at her new friend that shared the name of her childhood imaginary one, and shared a laugh with her younger self.

“Oh yeah, what was that?”  Adam asked.

“I never remembered,” she said.  Her voice had dropped to a volume that forced Adam to strain to hear her reply.

“Who needs another drink?”  Samantha asked, breaking through the uncomfortable tension created by a conversation that had gotten deeper than the tattoo question intended. 

Jessie quickly answered, “Me,” and thrust her recently emptied cup towards her. 

Adam reached his glass across the fire to have it filled and Dex cracked a beer that materialized from the jacket he pulled on over his flannel.  Pete was the only one to not refresh his drink, he stared unmoving into the dancing flames.

“Why did you move to the city?”  This question, from Pete, was a little tougher. He looked up from the mini inferno that hypnotized him. 

Samantha watched Jessie, with anticipation. The eight eyes on her made her gather the glowing Sesame Street character sweater into balls in her hands.  She stared into the shades of orange blaze, searching for a better answer than the one that, she felt, made her out to be someone who was weak.  A person who ran away to hide.

“I was in a relationship; it didn’t work out.  I didn’t want to move back home.  I was afraid everyone would see me as a failure.  I wanted to start from scratch, so I jumped in my car and drove.”  She glanced up from the fire, couldn’t bring herself to meet any of their eyes, and looked back at the flames.

“So, long story short, I met Ger.  The city she lived in was on my list of places to get lost and found.  She helped me get back on my feet and I’m almost there.  And I sound like a train wreck.” She smiled weakly, exhaled, and tried again to look around the circle. First to Pete, then Samantha, to Adam and finally to Dex. 

“Well, it looks like she’s been found. Right, Dex?” Pete asked, under his breath.  Or did he say, “Look what she’s found?”  Whichever it was, it caused an expression to appear on Dex’s face that made Jessie reach over and grab his hand.  “I think it’s time she knows,” he finished.

Dex looked past Jessie, to Pete.  “I think it’s time to roast some hotdogs,” he attempted a small grin. This one didn’t touch his eyes.

“He’s right, Dex. You remember what happened the last time,” Samantha urged.  “We can go back to the cottage, if you want.”  She stood and motioned for Pete to follow her.  “Let’s go, Adam,” she gently demanded. 

What was going on?
  Jessie felt a truth coming that she wasn’t sure she was ready for, but that she had been waiting her whole life to hear.

After a long uncomfortable pause, Dex finally spoke.  “No, stay Sammy, in case I leave anything out.”  He tightened his grip on Jessie’s hand and broke his gaze with Samantha, to look directly at her.

“Jessie do you remember when we met? How long we’ve known each other?”  He asked. 

Had they all gone crazy?  Was it catching?
“I didn’t have that much to drink, Dex.  I met you last night.  Last night!  I’ve known you since last night.”  She was adamant, but at the same time her voice was filled with doubt. Jessie didn’t like the way it had taken on a high pitched tone. She started to tremble, she hoped it was just from the cold, she knew that it wasn’t.

He shifted his chair closer to hers and continued.  “What if I told you we met before last night?”

“Was it at Central?  Friday nights there can be blurry sometimes.” She released a nervous laugh, trying to ease the tension gripping her heart. 

“No, it wasn’t at Central.”  Dex closed his eyes, inhaled deeply and released her hands to rub his down the length of his face.

“I don’t understand.” Jessie looked at the faces around the fire. The flames bathed them in an eerie light. Their eyes hidden in the shadows that the fire created.  “Would someone tell me what’s going on?”  Her eyes returned to Dex’s.  “Dex, when did we meet?  How long have we known each other?”

She searched his eyes for the answer she was looking for.   They looked back into hers, begging her to find it before he had to speak it out loud.  He brought is fingers to her cheek, tracing her jaw line, resting his palm just above where she could feel her heart beating rapidly. He twisted her necklace around his fingers.  She knew what he was going to say before his lips formed the words.