A Texas Ranger's Family (18 page)

“It wasn't meant to be that way. She's been trying to reach you for years. There were at least twenty letters from the same child psychotherapist's office in that box. When I read them and realized who she was, I tracked her down and she agreed to come here. Alison wants to make amends with you and your brother. She couldn't defend you when you were only kids, so she's built her life around protecting children of family violence.”

“My brother,” Erin whispered.

“Alison knows where Heath is, but he refuses to respond.”

“And our father?”

“He served over twenty years before he died of lung cancer.”

“Alison told you about him?”

Daniel smoothed the hair away from Erin's forehead and pressed his cheek to hers. “I've known almost from the beginning, honey. As soon as I had access to confidential state files, I figured it all out. I had to so I could document Dana's family history for her on the remote chance that you never came back.”

“Remote?”
Erin shook her head. “All these years and you never gave up. How could you hold on to hope when there was absolutely no reason?”

“Let me show you.” He extricated himself from their awkward embrace, crossed to his desk, slid open a small drawer and reached inside. He passed his right hand over his left and held it up for her to see.

Tears flooded her eyes but couldn't block her vision.

“Oh, Daniel. You still have your wedding ring.”

“It's worse than that.” He knelt beside the bed so his face was once again close to Erin's. “I still have our divorce papers.”

“You mean you keep a copy like a souvenir?” She scrunched her face at the odd sentiment.

“I mean I have the
originals.
” He mirrored her scrunched face. “I never filed them.”

“What?”
Her voice rose. “I signed those six months after I left.”

“But I never finalized the divorce. Erin, in the eyes of God and the eyes of Texas, we're still married.”

 

He'd confessed the worst there was to say. Erin may walk out on him tomorrow, but his conscience was finally clear. Daniel whooshed out a heavy sigh, his heart lighter for the release of his secret burdens.

“So, let me get this straight.” The injured, emotional, medicated quality of Erin's voice was gone. An angry edge took its place as she ticked off her complaints.

“You've just brought the sister whose accusations have haunted me for twenty-five years into my daughter's life without my permission. They look like twins separated at birth and will probably get along like peas in a pod. Alison will undoubtedly share the story of our dear father who died in prison. And it's unlikely she'll leave out the detail that I hid in the pantry like a coward while he beat our mama to death. Then there's a brother out there somewhere who seems to have chosen to remain free of this curse. And since I tried very hard to do the same for a number of years, I for one will honor his wishes.

“And, last but not least, you and I are still married.
Technically
. Now tell me again how I'm not supposed to feel ambushed. These last weeks have made me want all the things I've protected myself and our child from—for most of my life. And now I will have those things, but by ipso facto and never by choice.”

Daniel rose from his knees to his full height.

“That's where your train of thought just jumped the track, darlin'. Nothing about what you can have with me and the rest of this family is by default. It's all by choice. These circumstances are not a harmonic convergence of the universe. God brought us all together because this
is where we belong. As a family we honor one another, but mostly we honor Him. And we do it by choice.

“I don't want you to stay for Dana's sake. She's sixteen years old and very capable of getting on a plane and meeting her mama anywhere in the world if that's what you two choose. And don't stay
or run
because of your sister. If you decide not to have a relationship with her, Alison will accept that just as she accepts your brother's wishes.”

He reached for the battered old cowboy hat he kept on top of his reading lamp and clamped it on his head.

“And as for me, I only want you because you choose to be with the man you love. Hear that? The man you
love
. When I committed myself to you before God, I meant it. I deserve the same in return. If you can't give me that, then I'll dig out those papers and take them to the courthouse in Fort Stockton tomorrow. But make no doubt about it, Erin. You do have a choice. You
always
had a choice.”

Before she could respond, he was gone. Slipped quietly through the door and pulled it closed behind him.

The cell phone buzzed. She was sufficiently medicated now to roll to one side and grab it off the nightstand.

“Yes, J.D.” She did her best to sound normal.

“Hey, kid. Sorry, to bother you again but the plot thickens. The execs upstairs have another offer for you. There's a spot here in the New York bureau and if you want to live stateside, it's yours. So add that to your list of choices and give me a call in the morning. The clock's ticking.”

L
ight rapping of knuckles on wood woke Erin from her medicated stupor. Beyond the sheer curtains, the sky was black. She'd slept for hours.

“Erin? May I come in?”

Alison. There was no running away this time.

“Sure.” Erin flipped on the table lamp.

The door opened slowly as Alison stepped through. She'd been a striking girl and she was a stunning woman. For an instant Erin was grateful that Dana could see her aunt, to have an idea where her quirky beauty was headed.

Alison took the desk chair, her skirt fanned around her like the tail of peacock. She crossed her legs giving Erin a look at boots with “Ali” written in script across the leather shafts.

“Are you married?” For some reason it was the first thing Erin wanted to know.

“No,” Alison replied. “I have the same fears you do, Erin. But it took a Ph.D. in psychotherapy before I
figured that out. You protected yourself from the violence with distance. I built immunity by studying it. My patients are my kids and unfortunately there will always be an endless supply of them to fill my life.”

“That isn't what I would have expected for you, but then it's been so long I don't even know who you are.”

“Well, I know who you are from your work.” Alison's voice was soothingly soft, probably a product of years spent working with damaged children. “From the first time I saw the name
Erin Gray
beneath a photograph, I knew it was you using Mama's maiden name. I've followed your career with great pride, little sister. I actually put together a scrapbook of every picture I've been able to find. They're incredibly spiritual. I call them my ‘glimpses of God.'”

Once again, Erin was dumbstruck to hear she'd missed what others had seen. Was it the forest-for-the-trees syndrome, or had she merely been avoiding the obvious so she could continue to chase after phantoms? The constant running was exhilarating, but it was also tiresome.

“Erin, listen. I completely understand that my coming here was an unwelcome surprise for you. But I happened to agree with Daniel that today presented an opportunity we couldn't pass up. I'm leaving first thing in the morning and any future contact between us will be up to you. I won't force myself on you or Heath but my door will always open to both of you.

“And I'll respect whatever boundaries you need to set between me and your adorable daughter.” Alison held up both hands and fluttered her bejeweled fingers. “There's no doubt we're sisters under the skin, but she's your child and I won't cross any line you need to draw.”

Erin choked on a simple “Thank you.”

“You're welcome, little sister. By the grace of God, I parlayed my neurosis into a lucrative practice and you channeled yours into works of art. He used the evil in our childhood for His good in our adulthood. I won't say I'd do it all over again, but I will say it's been an interesting ride.”

Alison stood, shook out her skirt and gave a little twirl. Her bracelets jangled like a chorus of tiny bells.

“What do you think?”

“I think Mama would be very proud of you.”

“Oh, Erin Elise, thank you for saying that.” Alison crossed the floor and sat close on the edge of the bed. “I wasn't there when she needed me, so I've worked all my life to make up for it.”

“I guess I have, too,” Erin admitted. Silver clinked as Ali moved her hand to capture Erin's. “Every risk I've taken has been to prove I'm not a coward.”

“Coward?” Ali's voice rose. “Why would you say that?”

“I hid. I didn't try to stop him.”

“Baby girl, you were nine years old. And you didn't just hide, you protected Heath. If you hadn't taken him into that pantry with you, there's no telling what might have happened.”

“But you called me a coward.”

“And you have to forgive me. I was only a kid myself. One of the things I've learned about the mind of a child is that it's an amazing recorder but it's a terrible interpreter. You and I have hundreds of memories that need to be sorted out and put in their proper place. Maybe one day we can do that. It's your choice.”

She stood, prepared to leave.

“Ali, do you remember that jar of pennies Mama used for a door stop?”

“I sure do. It was an idea you had for Mother's Day. She loved that gift.” Ali smiled, waved and was gone.

Erin lay in the radiant glow of the lamp and the effervescent glow of her sister. She hadn't remembered where that big mason jar of pennies had come from, but Ali had. Her sister was right. There were too many memories to sort out alone. Maybe they needed to do it together.

 

Daniel sat by himself in the dark. His heart was heavy with the greatest sadness he'd ever known. He dug the heels of his boots into the porch to slowly rock the screechy old glider back and forth, a dirge for his soul.

“It's quieter with two,” Erin whispered.

“Then come join me.”

She settled close beside him. Without hesitation she rested her hand on his thigh and her head on his shoulder. If the roller-coaster ride they'd been on didn't end soon, he would have to go on blood pressure medication. At thirty-eight, he hoped he still had most of his life ahead of him. But the hammering and swelling and shrinking of the heart inside his chest were aging him prematurely.

“May I ask you a question?”

“Anything,” he answered. There was nothing he wouldn't do, give or say to make the woman beside him happy.

“If you really meant
forever
, then why did you only ask me to
try
?”

He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her heart as close as he dared to his own. “Erin, honey, you're as skittish as a day-old calf. If I came at you with a branding iron, you'd kick me and run. I thought maybe I could draw you in with a range cube and then slip a rope around your neck. Or, better yet a ring around your finger.”

Her left hand reached up to caught his. “You still have it on.”

“Yes, ma'am. There's no use hidin' it from you now. Once you have your final say, I'll put it away.”

“What if I say I want one to match it?”

“Forever?”

“And ever. Amen.”

“Then I'd say that's easy 'cause it's in the same drawer where I've kept this one. They belong together. They always did.”

“Just like us, Daniel.”

Erin turned her face up to his. Her eyes glistened, her smile sparkled in the moonlight, her face was alight with joy, but there was more. She radiated the peace that only comes from living smack in the middle of the Father's will.

“I adore you, Erin. I promise to spend every day of my life proving that to you. With God as the third strand of our braided cord, we'll be strong enough for anything the future holds.”

“Daniel, my love.” She cupped his jaw in her palm, gently pulling him closer. When their lips were only a breath apart she whispered, “You waited for me. You prayed for me. You saved yourself for me. Tomorrow night at sunset will you reaffirm your vows with me in the presence of a Texas Ranger's family?”

“I will,” Daniel answered, his voice filled with emotion, his heart bursting with love.

And then he answered her a second time, a forever time, with his kiss.

A
ball of red-orange fire hovered above distant peaks sending streaks of gold across a canvas of azure blue. God's hand-painted benediction blessed the day and the western sky.

Erin tipped her head back to get a better look at the groom by her side. It was a moment she would cherish always and she gathered it to her heart, a precious memory she could examine again and again.

“Do you mind one more picture?” Daniel had never been more handsome. His eyes reflected the setting sun, his tanned face was alight with joy and peace. “I promise this will be the last one and then we'll go down to our reception.”

Erin smiled and squeezed his hand where their wedding bands touched. “You've already given me the only promise I'll ever need. I'm content to stand here until your mama has every picture her heart desires.”

“I hope you didn't mind such a whirlwind wedding,” he apologized for the rush. “I know how
girls dream of their special day. You got shortchanged the first time around and I don't want you to have regrets about today.”

It had been head spinning to witness what the family had pulled together in twenty-four hours. But at the end of a hectic afternoon, everyone climbed a hillside to the arbor Percy Stabler had designed for his wife LaVerne some thirty years ago. Surrounded by loved ones, the wedding couple pledged their lives while standing beneath weathered crossbeams that had been hand-hewn by Daniel's daddy. The solid structure somehow made the family seem complete.

Then Dana joined them to read from Ecclesiastes, reminding everyone that a cord of three strands would not be easily broken. Their lives were entwined forever and nothing this side of heaven would separate them again.

Erin raised her hand to Daniel's face and traced the jaw that was every bit as solid as his faith.

“Regrets are all in the past, my love,” she assured him. “God has plans to give the three of us a future and a hope and that begins today.”

“My beautiful bride,” Daniel whispered where only she could hear, his voice gruff with emotion. “You have made my life complete. Without you I would never have known the love in my heart at this moment.”

“My amazing husband,” she answered, standing on tiptoe to bring her face closer to Daniel's. “You taught me the very meaning of love when you brought me home, trusted me with Dana, invited me back into your family.”

“It's where you always belonged. The circle was broken without you, Erin. But today we're whole.”

“Smile, y'all!” LaVerne called before flashing a camera in their faces, catching the miracle of a Texas Ranger's family on film.