A Survivalists Tale (2 page)

I had done them four times for you never get all your pots and dishes you want, this had increased my chances in one go, and had been better than I thought, so I had more than I needed. The dead fall was just a much heavier variation on the four-shaped trap.

The difference with this trap for the pigs would be scaled up so that I caused as little pain as possible. It wouldn’t be easy and would have to take out the boar first, the trigger in the four-shaped trap wouldn’t need bait for the boar would attack the trigger as I would be behind it. I knew the mother may think of attacking me but she would have the baby’s to think of, or so I hoped, still if I had to I had a heavy log placed so if she did attack I could drop it on her and the spikes I had attached would kill her outright. It would be best for me to deal with one pig at a time, I'm good at skinning and butchery but two in one go would stretch even me. Now I did miscalculate slightly, I had timed everything to perfection, well almost like I said, I could just imagine the people watching on the internet gasp, yeh it wasn’t the boar that almost got me it was my own bloody trap. Behind me coming down out of a tree was a log with a spike attached at the front, as the boar charged it would knock the number four trap loos, re-leasing the log. Now the boar would be in front of me with its head lowered so it could rip into me with its tusks, and I had a log swinging down with a great spike to smash into the head of the boar coming from behind. Slight miscalculation, how long does it take a ten year old boy to get from between them both, I could see the boar so no problem there I however had to guess at the log, and as I jumped sideways the log scuffed along my clothes, it had been that close. I jumped up and with my flint knife, I stabbed the boar in the side of the neck, cutting its jugular, while the blood was still pumping out, I attached the two hoops to the back legs and released the second dead fall. This lifted the boar into the air by its back legs, so that its head was just above the ground. I then opened it s stomach and empted the guts on the floor, saving the liver and kidney for a treat later, I had to work fast, so I started butchering the carcase straight away. I placed the legs and every piece of meat I could into the sledge I had made and covered them with smoked leaves, I had to beat the fly’s or they would ruin all the meat, I eventually flung the rest of the carcase on top and pulled it to my smoke shed, which was going nicely. I had made my smoke house with two doors one at the front and one at the back this was so I could pull the sledge straight in and I could leave it in the smoke while I escaped out the back. I went down to the stream and washed myself and my clothes once I had the blood gone from me and my clothes I hung them to dry, I then put on my fur shorts and my home made moccasins. Then it was back to the smudge or smoke shed and get my reward, my lovely livers and kidneys, along with some of the fat for frying. I couldn't eat it all but I wasn’t wasting it either, the bits I had cooked went back into the smoke or smudge shed and I would use them for fishing the next couple of days. I went back to make sure all the ropes from my traps were taking down, you just can’t waste things that have taken you hours of hard work to make. I was glad that I had grabbed the intestines and bladder for myself as the rest of the mess was gone just blood covered with fly’s. Later I would take the intestines bladder and stomach down to the sea and wash them in salt water, then in fresh water until they are clean, the intestines would be the string to my bow I had made and my fishing line. The bladder would be my mobile canteen for when I hunt the goats, I reckoned it would take about three days to sheer the goats and hard work it would be. The months flew by and I was so busy enjoying myself that it was a bit of a shock when the two boats came ashore, I looked up and noticed for the first time there was a ship just outside the bay. The boats held my father and a load of other people I have never heard of, I did however recognise my competition they were all there, my father was saying I had won the contest hands down. Even the guys I was up against were so impressed, it seems they had it bad, we had all being doing brilliantly, until a month went past and they all had their camps set up just like they taught everyone to do. They all had very basic wooden plates and forks they had struggled with the stone hammers and axes. There traps were the same ones we all had used but they had failed with getting a pig and only the one had caught a goat and he ate it, one had been cut badly by a sow pig he hadn’t seen till last moment and was too late, he had been medivact to the nearest hospital. He  watched me on the internet, and learned a lot so he said, the others had slowly gone downhill having spent too much time thinking of the ones back home. I had never felt lonely, for the cameras kept me company as far as I was concerned, I just found a camera and talked to it like I was talking to my father and friends, I would explain some of the traps and what I would expect of it or how I would build it differently next time. I basically had a great time, after I went back to so-called civilisation, I was a hit, the whole world wanted a piece of me, my dad however kept them back and gave me the time to settle back to my routines of a normal life. The producers wanted me to make some short films about how I had survived differently to the others, which I must admit made me millions. Along with my book deals, which I didn’t write, a ghostwriter done them and I got the cash hardly seemed faire; she however became famous also and made tons of cash, we both won.

Chapter: Two

    One of the reasons I had got drunk last night was it was the last time I would be able too, with decent booze, the biggest challenge ever was on the books, the world had been holding its breath waiting to see this extravaganza, six of the world’s best survivalists. And we were going toe to toe with the world watching, this time would be different though we had ten of the world’s worst survivalists, they were picked by the TV studios. It would be five years, and for every year, we made it we would make a million pounds for our favourite charity and for every person that we lost, by them leaving not dying. We would lose twenty-thousand dollars, there would be five men and five women in each group, and we had no idea where we would be put. We knew it would be twenty miles squared and the animals were the ones you would normally find there. The people were getting forty thousand dollars per year for themselves as personal motivation but would get only one thousand dollars if they didn’t make it.

It was the big one, however between the six survivalists; it wasn’t so much a competition, as could it be done, could ten people not just survive but actually live for five years and live well, this would be as much a social experiment as anything else. At least I would have Pat looking after my everyday affairs and Billy looking after the house and grounds, and Joe looking after everything else. I was so going to enjoy the next five years of my life, I know for a fact that the TV people had been planning this for years. They kept getting specialists in to find out how best to set up the compounds, using which plants and which animals, however over the years most of the same specialists were people I called friends. I had been working with a group of specialists studying our ancestors and how they lived, what they ate and the tools they used. We had even from the midden piles they left behind, built a useful data base for around the world of what types of food our ancestors had been eating. Even by studying, the tools they left behind, we could work out how they were grinding seeds to make a type of flour. By the fishing spearheads, we could tell what size of fish they could expect to catch, also thanks to science checking DNA on the edges of blades we could tell exactly which fish and which land animals they were butchering. It had been brilliant and now I was going to be able to try some of their techniques, the one thing we had problems with, was we could understand intellectually how the changing from hunter-gatherers, to farming. They both have survival benefits, the males we believed done the hunting and the females the gathering of roots, seeds, and herbs well not so, to bring down a large animal the whole family unit was involved. If the animal was, large enough the nearby neighbours would help as well so, why make the switch.

Well the belief was, hunting was becoming less successful than we believe, as groups grew so did, the problems on how to feed them, when the hunters moved into an area there was no guarantee another group hadn’t just moved out. We believe the switch came from the hunters having dogs, usually with some salt and pepper, yes I know, now a day’s people would jump up and down saying oh cruel people, but when the group was starving or even just hungry the good old dog was for dinner. We know this as a fact from their middens, so it would be a small step from this to keeping other young animals on ropes and culling them when hunger strikes. The looking after the animals would be down to the children and anyone who couldn't hunt or gather any more, basically the old and infirm.

As you might guess, I'm going for the hunter to farmer with my group, but with luxuries thrown in, yeh our ideas of luxuries may be slightly different, but my group will have a good time if I have anything to do with it. The producers had sent a leer jet for me and it would stop and pick up the others, the only one I didn’t know was the young woman they had found, she was supposed to be really good. I didn’t mind for most of my life I had been learning from others anyway, this was life as far as I was concerned, also, they were allowing us to take six things with us, to help us survive.

My six items were no surprise to anyone who knew me, it was four axes and two good sized knifes, I couldn't believe it when all six of us had got on board, they informed us of where we were going for the next five years. America, they had secured the land for the project from the native Indians it was reservation land, this way they had complete security, and the natives were helping them, they had built the compounds and had placed native species in each, I fucking loved it more and more. Then they said we could chat to each other but not about what we would do, we then found out one of the people in the ten would be a doctor. Like any of us would need a doctor, producers were chicken, they then informed us, the rest of the group were rich armature survivalists and would have paid millions just for the experience, they weren’t kidding when they said it would be a hard group to shepherd through the years. Better to have someone with no knowledge than a bunch of idiots second-guessing you, I could see the rest of the guys thinking the same thing, fucking nightmare. My approach to them would have to be entirely different to what I planned, I done the exact same as the rest of the group, we would load ourselves with plenty of food and water, before we arrived. We landed at a private airport about four o’clock in the morning and there was the six helicopters waiting to take us to our new home for five years. I climbed aboard my helicopter and there was my four axes and two knifes, however someone had thought about them, as the axes were all for chopping no splitters, thank god, and the two knifes were a good size eight inch blades and could be used for skinning and butchery work, excellent. As we approached my area, I could see that it was part mountain and part plains, plenty of trees and water, I saw as we landed a grizzly scampering up through the rocks and thought you sly bastards. I landed in the open planes, and just as I got out with my tools, my helicopter flew off, there was a log flat in front of me so I stuck the axes into it to keep the blades sharp and stuck one of the knifes in as well. I was keeping for myself one knife and one axe, the rest would be for communal use, I hadn’t long to wait before I heard another helicopter, this was big enough to be delivering my ten new friends for the next five years.

When they got out of the helicopter I was watching the way they moved, they were all I recond between the ages of thirty and about forty, mabe forty five ish, that was good and they all looked like they were fit and moved like they were healthy. Mike was the first to intruduce himself, closely folowed by Amanda, then Sharon, Peter, Tom, Babs, Clair, Jack, Joseph and Jess, I sat them down and watched who done what, and where they sat in relation to me, it was psychological, if they sat close to me they would need me the most, good and bad with that, they would be the keenest to learn, bad they had the least personal strenth, that sort of thing.

I asked my team just to see what they knew, who can tell me the next thing the team should do, I had some good answers, like build a fire, build a shelter, lay out traps, and locate water, all good answers but wrong, with only one being even close. Don’t you think with all your good ideas we best find a good place to set them up in, one off you said water, almost correct, but we have to think five years, simple things like never at the foot of a slope. Why is that said Amanda, I have never heard of that, well simple really doc cold air moves down hot air rises, she said wait did you just call me doc, sure did Amanda I could tell by the way you look at the others and by the way you act. I explained to the others that we had been provided a doctor just to be on the safe side, Amanda was quite surprised I had picked her out so quickly. Don’t worry Amanda you were harder to pick out than the psychologist that they provided, even after I asked them not to, would you like to introduce yourself Mike. He got up and ran through his qualifications, I stopped him and said sorry Mike but that is why I didn’t want a psychologist in the first place, I meant introduce yourself not your qualifications, they can be used in survival but not very important. I had them all introduce them self’s to the group and then some of them started to ask sensible questions. Like how will we spot areas we shouldn’t camp in, so I said can any of you think of a visible sign, the wind leaves, when it blows in one direction more than any else. That got them it is kind of a hard question for people who work in offices most of their lives, but to someone who works outside all the time it’s so easy. Jess who was an outdoors type said straight away, well the shape of the tops off the trees, they always point away from the direction of the wind. Everyone started to take note of the tops of the trees and sure enough, they bent over in a slight angle. Now I want you all to stop thinking so much as adults I said and start thinking as children, they looked at me as if I had grown two heads. I explained children create more than adults, when you reach the adult stage you tend to just follow the norm, or normal, the same as everyone else or as you have been taught, the mind of a child will look beyond that and marvel at building things that seem stupid but work. Also, you have to think of this as a reward for all the years you have worked hard, it’s a chance to show the world just how clever you really are, no one has done this before and believe me we are not alone, millions of people are watching. If you feel lonely for anyone on the other side just find a camera and talk to them they will hear you and be comforted, also if you truly know that person you know what they will be saying to you. Also as we, travel always be looking for your tools and anything that will assist us for we are now a family. There were a series of hills that would block the winds also there looked like a whole bunch of trees running in a line, good indication of a stream. Five hours later, we arrived at a cracking site a very large rock face, trees and plenty water just two hundred yards away, I showed them the type of shelter we would need for tonight and probably the next week so we could have time to build shelters that are more permanent.