A Son's Vow (7 page)

“Gonna be kind of hard to do that after work. Ain't so?”

“Um, well, he is planning to eventually quit the mill.”

The amusement that had been playing on his lips evaporated. “I see.”

She wondered what he meant. Darla said, “I know it ain't my place, but I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't let on that you know about that.”

“First of all, it is your place,” he replied, his voice hard. “You're his sister and my friend. You have a right to an opinion, Darla.”

She'd made him mad. Wincing, she blurted, “I'm sorry, Lukas. All I meant was—”

He interrupted. “
Nee
, it's me who is sorry. I didn't mean to sound so harsh. Don't be upset.”

“I'm not upset with you.”

“I'm glad of that. Darla, you know I'd never hurt you. Never.” He took a deep breath. “Listen. I'll keep your secret. But I have to tell you that I'm not real pleased about this.”

“I hadn't realized he was such a valuable employee.”

“He isn't. But I'm not fond of the fact that he wants to work for me as long as possible before I discover that I'm going to have to replace him.”

This was awkward. “If Aaron finds out that I told you, he will be upset with me. I'd rather not deal with that right now.”

As if he no longer trusted himself to look at her, Lukas looked straight ahead. She sensed him tensing, noticed that a muscle in his cheek was clenched. Her own body tightened in response, bracing for him to throw her wish back in her face.

At last, he sighed. “I suppose I walked right into this, didn't I?”

“Maybe,” she allowed. “But if I may be frank, it took me by surprise, too. I didn't know he had other plans besides working at the mill.”

“How are you going to manage? You've got a big farm and a lot of animals. Too much for a woman to handle.”

Truly, she didn't know. “Can we not talk about this? It makes me uncomfortable.”

“The whole situation does, or talking with me about it?”

“Both. It's still fresh, and, well, no one at home seems too worried about it besides me.”

“That's because no one in your house ever seems to worry about the future besides you.” There was an edge to his voice. An impatience.

It wasn't a new thing. Darla had known for some time that neither Lukas nor Levi respected Aaron all that much. Some
times, even in the quiet of the night, she let herself admit that she wasn't all that happy with how he handled things, either.

“He is who he is,” she said softly. “He is Aaron.”

“I disagree. He is who he is because he doesn't feel the need to be anyone different.”

“That isn't my fault.”

He stopped abruptly. Then to her surprise, he leaned a little closer. “Of course it isn't,” he said. “I'm not blaming you, Darla. I'm not blaming your parents, either.”

“Then?”

“All I am saying is that people change when circumstances force them to. When your
daed
died, Aaron had the opportunity to become someone different.” He shook his head. “
Nee
. He had an
obligation
to become the man of the family. He should have willingly taken on the needs of your family. He should have decided to place his mother and siblings ahead of his own selfish wishes. He didn't choose to do that.”

She forced herself to keep her mouth from dropping open. Lukas's words weren't exactly a surprise, but the passion with which he'd said them made her catch her breath and hold it tight. All she could think was how different her life would have been if anyone in her family had voiced such things.

Or if Aaron had felt that sense of obligation.

“Maybe he has,” she said hesitantly—because if she didn't, she would have to admit that Aaron was so very far from the man that Lukas was. Even harder would be admitting to Lukas that her brother hadn't even tried. “Maybe this is why he's decided to marry Hope.”

His eyebrows shot up. “Even if that is true, it doesn't mean
that he made the right decision. He shouldn't be thinking about taking care of a wife when he can hardly take care of himself.”

“That's not quite fair.”

“Don't defend him. It neither helps him nor gives you the credit you deserve.”

“I have to hope that he is doing the right thing. I have to, Lukas.”

“I reckon you do.” He sighed, looking up the driveway at her house. “Well, let's go get this over with so we can relax.”

She didn't have to ask what he meant. Bringing Lukas to her house was akin to bringing the enemy home. Her whole family would see the action as a betrayal of their father's memory, instead of what it actually was: her need to have someone who was on her side. Who believed in her.

A
s Lukas walked beside Darla up the long gravel driveway toward her home, he was painfully aware of the mistakes he'd made with her. He'd been absent when she'd needed him. Distant when he should have been near. Far too full of himself when he should have been concerned with her needs.

It would be easy to justify his neglect. In the days and weeks following their fathers' deaths, he'd had more on his mind than Darla's pain. He'd had his own grief to manage. Then there were the added responsibilities of the mill, compounded by the fact that virtually all two hundred of their employees were still reeling from the effects of the fire and the five deaths.

Every morning, he vowed he would work as hard as possible to ease the worry and pain of everyone there. And every night he realized that he hadn't even come close. He would toss and turn, sleeping fitfully before at last waking up and writing a new list of things that needed to be done.

But it was never enough.

In addition to the heavy burden at work, Lukas was doing his best to help his younger siblings recover as best they could. Of course, Rebecca, Amelia, and Levi were adults and would have firmly told him that they didn't need any help from him, but something inside him needed them to need him.

These were all very good reasons for not putting as much effort into his relationship with Darla.

But still, he should have known that she had been alone in many ways.

Even though there were more than a few clues that pointed to the fire having been started by John Kurtz's soiled rag, Lukas had steadfastly refused to publicly blame John. But Levi hadn't been as reticent. And in his efforts to comfort his brother, Lukas hadn't refuted Levi's grumblings like he should have. Therefore, he'd kept his feelings to himself, and simply worked hard to do everything that was expected of him.

But as the weeks passed, he'd begun to feel empty inside. He'd needed his friend. He'd needed Darla. He'd missed Darla's smiles, her bright attitude and her unwavering support. He'd missed her. Only after he'd visited her at the post office had he realized that she, too, had been going through many of the same things. But unlike Lukas, who had the support of his employees and his family, she'd had no one.

Instead of receiving a helping hand, she'd been the one supporting others. And now Lukas knew that Aaron had not only ignored her needs, he'd also selfishly added his own burdens to her slim shoulders.

Lukas would've said he couldn't fathom Aaron doing such a thing, but then he'd have to remember that Aaron had acted
this way time and again. The only person whom Aaron had ever listened to had been his father. And now he was gone.

Of course, he also now had Hope. Hope was lovely and had always been smitten with Aaron, but whether she didn't see his faults or pretended she was unaware of them, she wasn't the type to change Aaron. At least, Lukas didn't think she was.

As Darla led him toward her family's old farmhouse, Lukas noticed that it needed a fresh coat of paint and the grass and bushes needed trimming. None of those things cost a lot of money or took a lot of time, but still Aaron had let the chores fall to the wayside.

Just thinking about how Aaron hadn't put his family's needs first made Lukas seethe.

Darla apparently noticed the tightening in his muscles. “Lukas? Is something wrong?”

“
Nee
. I, uh, was just noticing that the house could use some fresh paint. Would you like me to buy some for ya? It would be no trouble.”

“There's no need. We have paint.”

“Oh?” He let the word float between them. Hoping she would at last say how lazy Aaron had been.

Instead, she flushed with embarrassment. “I know it looks bad. I, um . . . well, I haven't gotten around to painting yet.”

It took some effort, but he managed to keep his voice easy and patient. “You know painting ain't a job for a woman, Darla.”

“Who says?” She pulled back her shoulders and playfully drew herself up to her full, unimpressive five-foot-two-inch height. “I can paint as well as you can.”

“Maybe you could,” he teased, “if you had a good ladder.”

“Ha-ha. I've been making good use of ladders all my life, Lukas.”

That might be true, but there was no way he was going to let her do more around this house than she was already doing. If he didn't step in, she was going to work herself to the bone. “I don't mind painting for you. Or I'll ask Aaron to get on it,” he added at last. “He should be doing outside chores like this.”

She raised her eyebrows but said nothing. Which was probably smart. Lukas knew Aaron didn't like to be bossed around, and especially not by him.

But that didn't mean he wasn't going to try.

In fact, part of him hoped Aaron would be there and would pick a fight. It would actually give Lukas a lot of pleasure to yell at the man and, for once, tell him everything he felt about him.

It wasn't just Aaron's intention of quitting his job that was irritating him so much. It was the man's complete refusal to see the position he was putting his sister in. Darla, who continually smiled to the world and pretended that she didn't carry what had to be a thousand pounds of burdens on her slim shoulders. Someone had to be on this girl's side. Someone had to look out for her.

Why was he the only person who realized this?

The moment they reached the front porch, Maisie appeared. At twelve years old, she already looked a lot like Darla. She shared Darla's blue eyes and small frame. In fact, they shared so many of the same features, it was uncanny. Except that their personalities were very different. While Darla was usually agreeable in nature and looked for the best in everything, Maisie always seemed to be in a bad mood. And had, for several years now.

Today she was dressed in a light gray dress that should have looked too somber for a young girl. Instead, it emphasized her wheat-colored hair.

“Hiya, Lukas,” she said politely.

Glad that her grumpy mood might be a thing of the past, he nodded. “Good afternoon, Maisie.”

She stepped closer, her hands restlessly twisting the side of her apron. “What are ya doing here?”

“I walked your sister home.”

“How come?”

“Can't I walk her home without a reason?”

Maisie continued to treat him to a piercing stare. “
Jah
,” she said slowly. “But you haven't spent time with my sister for weeks. What's changed?”

“Maisie, don't be rude,” Darla admonished.

“Sorry, but I thought we didn't like the Kinsingers no more.” Sheepishly she looked at Lukas. “Sorry.”

Lukas said nothing. Instead he stared at Darla, wondering how the Lord had managed to give one girl so much patience.

“No one ever said that,” Darla said.

Maisie narrowed her eyes. “But . . .”

After glancing at Lukas with a weak, contrite expression, Darla reached out and gently pulled Maisie's hands from her apron and held them in her own. “No one is upset and nothing is wrong. Lukas and I simply wanted to catch up.”

She nodded. “Oh.”

Darla's eyes lit up in approval. “Now, tell me who is home.”

“Samuel and Evan. Gretel and Patsy. Now you. Everyone but Aaron.”

“I see. Well, go get Lukas and me some glasses of lemonade, will you?”

After warily shifting her eyes to Lukas again, Maisie nodded and left.

“Lukas, I'm sorry about that. Ever since Mamm left, Maisie has been difficult.”

“Nothing to apologize for. Maisie has always spoken her mind.” After a pause, he added gently, “She has reason to be off, I think. You all have had quite the time of it. Ain't so?”

“Jah.”
After motioning to the small grouping on the side of the porch, a trio of chairs nestled around a wicker table, Darla sighed. “Let's go sit down.”

Lukas followed her, waiting for her to take a chair before sitting himself. Then he took off his hat and stretched his legs. The porch overhang kept the area cool. A light breeze blew in from the field beyond, bringing with it the scent of freshly mowed grass. He breathed deeply and felt his muscles relax. No matter what happened with her family, this moment made him glad he'd sought out Darla. This felt familiar.

Hoping to ease her tense expression, he murmured, “How many hours do you think we've spent right here?”

As he'd hoped, the faint lines that had appeared on her forehead lessened. “Too many to count.”

“I'll try, though. I'd say at least two hundred. What do you think?”

At last, a genuine smile played on her lips. The first one he'd seen since before the accident. “Oh, more than that, Lukas.”

“Really?” He pretended to look confused. As if he actually cared about having a right answer.

“Really. I know I'm right about this. I mean, if one insisted on trying to count them.”

The front door opened again and out came Maisie and Patsy. Each was holding a Mason jar filled with lemonade and ice.

Patsy led the way. “When Maisie said you were out here, I couldn't believe it. I had to come out and see if she was telling the truth,” she said as she set the jar in front of Lukas. Then she plopped in the empty chair between them.

“Why would I lie?” Maisie said, handing Darla her jar.

“No reason,” Patsy said. “But your appearance here is something of a shock, Lukas.”

“Hey, Patsy.” He knew there was no need to say another word. In her own way, Patsy was as protective of her family as her sisters. She also was a bit bolder. If she wanted an answer, she never hesitated to ask for it.

“So, why exactly have you darkened our doorstep?”

Lukas raised his eyebrows. “I believe so far I've only darkened your front porch.”

“Does this mean our dear sister is going to have her best friend again?” she asked.

“Oh my heavens, Patsy!” Darla said around a moan. “Stop.”

“Don't get upset. You know I'm only teasing.”

Still, Lukas knew that Patsy always had a reason for what she did. He glanced at Darla, wondering if she was becoming upset. However, she didn't look much different than she usually did when she was surrounded by her siblings. She was sipping lemonade and had one foot propped on the bottom railing of the porch. Just like she used to do.

“I wanted to spend some time catching up with Darla,” he said at last. “It's been a while.”

Patsy raised her brows at his statement. “Aaron ain't gonna be pleased that you're here. For that matter, I don't know if I'm real happy about it, either.”

“I didn't come over here to make you happy, Patsy. I came over for Darla.” Patsy's comment didn't come as a big surprise to Lukas. Though Darla was older, Patsy had always acted more protective of her brothers and sisters.

“If you think you're helping her by being rude to the rest of us, you're mistaken.”

“I'm not being rude,” he countered. “Just honest.”

“Obviously some things never change.” Darla pressed her hands to her cheeks. “Settle down, you two.”

“I'll settle when your guest becomes nicer.”

Lukas rolled his eyes. “Enough with the dramatics. I'm not your enemy. You and I both know that.”

Instead of answering, Patsy glared at Darla. “Having him over was a mistake.”

Only years of experience managing employees and keeping his emotions in check allowed Lukas to keep his patience. He instinctively knew that none of his siblings would put him down in front of others. But still it was amazing to see the family dynamics at play here. Nothing had changed. “What about your sisters and brothers?” he asked.

Patsy's eyes widened. “What about them?”

“Are they upset I'm here, too?” Lowering his voice, he added, “Are you really mad at me?”

After glancing at Darla again, Patsy met his gaze. “Not really.” She shrugged. “I'm just tired. We've had some mighty long days since Mamm left. I simply don't want to deal with one more thing.”

“None of us do,” Darla said. “I didn't bring Lukas over to cause a row.”

“I know.” She sighed. “Lukas, no matter what Aaron says, I don't think you caused the fire.”

“Of course I didn't. I lost my father, too, Patsy.”

“Lukas and I have talked,” Darla interjected quickly with a hard stare at both of her sisters. “We agreed that a lifetime of friendship should mean something.”

“It does. Daed thought that, too, but now he's gone.”

Darla inhaled sharply. “No good will come from clinging to hurts.”

“No good will come from ignoring what is apparent to us all, either. Lukas, you are a good man, and I know you are doing your best. But being here isn't helping you or Darla or any of us. I think we should all keep our distance as long as we can.”

But he was done with keeping his distance. He needed Darla in his life. He needed her friendship. “Keeping away from each other isn't really possible.”

“Perhaps. But being over at each other's houses isn't the best idea, either.” She moved her head, gazing out at the drive.

Following her gaze, Lukas watched Aaron approach. Even with the distance, it was apparent that his stride was angry. Maisie moved to Lukas's side. Her eyes were wide and she looked worried.

“It'll be all right,” he murmured to her.

“I don't think so, Lukas.”

“I'll make things better.”

She wrinkled her nose. “How will you do that?”

“Trust me.” When she stared at him in confusion, he smiled at her and hoped that she'd try to believe him.

“Maisie, go inside,” Aaron called out.

Maisie slipped a hand on the top of Lukas's chair and gripped it tight. “How come? I did my chores.”

“You know why,” Darla said. “Go on inside, dear.”

Maisie looked panicked. “But all he's gonna do is yell at you, Darla. If I stay here maybe he won't get so mad.”