A Slither of Hope (3 page)

My glare could have cut into him as I snatched my hand away. “You’ve been dodging my questions for weeks. Why bring this up now?”

“You haven’t heard the rest of the rules. For every hit I land, you have to answer one of my questions.”

I narrowed my eyes. He didn’t think I could land a hit. The idea was too tempting to turn down, my fury too volcanic to quit now. I could learn anything, about the Fallen, about Kade’s life, about the angels—or one angel in particular. “Complete honesty?”

“Nothing but.”

“Fine. Deal.”

I didn’t wait for him to ready, and instead I swung a right cross headed straight for his chin. He deflected the blow. With my left elbow, I went for a jab. He blocked me again and had enough time to poke the front of my shoulder with his index finger.

With a self-satisfied grin on his face he said, “That's one for me. What’s on your mind?”

“Too vague,” I threw over my shoulder—more into my wing than at him—as I tried to pace my frustration away. I wasn’t about to get into everything crowding my thoughts. Not after just one poke. My cheeks flushed at the unintentional innuendo.

“What happened with Lee?”

Shit.

“He showed. We had hot chocolate and watched the tree lighting.”

“Too vague,” he fired back at me.

“Okay,” I drew the word out, loath to tell him anything after the crap he pulled downstairs. “He showed, eventually.” I spun around so I wouldn’t have to look at him when I unloaded the rest. “He was almost half an hour late. It was cold. I was miserable. He didn’t look happy to see me. When he finally spoke to me he said my dad talked to him and his mom. So now they know I’m a mental case, which I never,
never
wanted him to know.” I drew in a breath and realized I was fisting my hands through my hair. I dropped them to my sides. “To add a cherry on top, he didn’t show up alone. He brought his girlfriend or something. She said more to me than he did and I barely know her.”

“Ah, a girlfriend.”

I whirled to face him. “What do you mean, ‘ah, a girlfriend’? Did you miss the part where my best friend said like twelve words to me and couldn’t even look at me?”

Kade cleared his throat. He did this almost as much as he sighed. A throat clearing meant one of two things: either he was uncomfortable, or he wanted my attention. Since he already had my attention, my bet landed on the former. The fact that I’d made him uncomfortable warmed my stomach a little. It was annoying to be around someone so… unflinchingly confident all the time.

“I get it,” was all he said before extending his wings. Their black feathers reached far beyond eight feet, and pricks of silver illuminated the rooftop and my surrounding secret garden. “Now don’t forget to account for the wings, too. They’ll be taking to the sky to gain advantage, twisting, darting, and diving.”

“Then why haven’t you showed me that?” I ground out through gritted teeth.

He rubbed the back of his neck. “You’re not ready for that yet.”

I rolled my eyes and pushed my own shoulders back. It was the only way I knew to move my own awkward wings, which were so much smaller than Kade’s. Their size made them almost comical. Thankfully the only two that had seen them—other than me—had never mentioned how, even among freaks, I was king.

“You started this sick game for a reason. What is it you really want to know?”

“How you’re doing.” His voice was controlled flatness. Kade was a man drowning that didn’t even know he was in trouble.

Because, boy, he’d just pushed the wrong button.

I flung my arms up, just short of screaming, “What makes you think you have any idea what I’m going through? And why do you care anyway?”

Kade’s fists clenched so tight his knuckles turned sheet-white. It could have been my imagination, but I swore the silver shimmers in his wings burned brighter. “Are you really going to make me say it? Even though you have feelings for someone else and can’t seem to let him go? Even though I chose to be here for you every single day?” His entire body shook with barely contained rage. “I was here, Ray. Me.” He slammed his chest with an open palm. “Where was he?” He dropped his hands and stowed his wings away. When he turned on his heel, his fingers pushed back in his hair. I could see more than hear his quick breaths, watching his shoulders rise and fall like an angry movie villain. By the time he glanced over his wing, he was calm. His voice was quiet, though he didn’t make an effort to look at me. “You want to punish me by making me say it aloud?”

My stomach crumpled like a ball of paper filled with all the wrong answers. All this time we’d spent together I’d thought we were trying a friendship.

“I meant, is it because I’m her daughter?” I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me that Kade Fell for my mother, or that I didn’t think about it every time we got close.

“A month ago I would have said yes. And no. I knew who you were when I saw you that first night at the diner, and not just because you look like her. I’ve seen you before.”

“When?” He could have been baiting me again—he liked to do that—but this time I didn’t care.

“When you were a child, and again as a teenager being sent away to your first mental institution. And when you moved here. I watched your father instruct the movers exactly where to put your bed in your room, then that night, I watched you wait until he turned off the lights downstairs and push your bed to the opposite wall by yourself.”

His words left me in a full-blown, mouth-wide-open, what-the-hell-was-he-talking-about stupor. My breath came unevenly and I drew my hand up to cover my mouth. I remembered doing exactly what he said my first night in San Francisco.

All this time living with him, sharing one room for nearly a month, and he didn’t think to tell me he stalked me as a child?

“I know what it’s like to watch everything, everyone around you change and grow. To watch the one person you thought you loved get married, have children, all while you’re stuck in the same strange time warp, unable to move forward.” He walked toward me, his soft footsteps barely disturbing the rocks beneath him.

I took one step back, but one step was all I could muster.

He slipped his fingers up the base of my neck and through my hair, to rest his forehead against mine. Chills tingled the top of my head. I couldn’t fight it. I couldn’t fight our closeness or the irregular pitter-patter of my heart. And I couldn’t fight the urge to lean into him. Even while part of me still wanted to see him bruised and bloody.

His lips parted. He smelled of mint and soap. The stubble along the lower part of his jaw brushed my cheek. He was so close, his lips inches from mine.

Unwelcome wanting snaked through me. I tilted my chin up, to prove his tactics wouldn’t scare me.

He leaned closer. Our lips almost touched. His hold in my hair tensed. But he didn’t close the quarter-inch of distance.

The longer we stood so maddeningly close, the duller my good sense became. Soon, I’d be waiting for Kade to kiss me. To feel the opposite of unwanted for once. To feel so close to someone again, even for only a minute. To let the world fall away and lose myself in this one moment.

“This has to be your decision,” he said, voice soft and low. Sensual.

And
Oh God
, I couldn’t help the shiver that crept up my spine.

I opened my eyes. With his lips parted and waiting, there was something I had to know. “How does the whole, uh, soul sucking thing work?”

He didn’t miss a beat. “A lot like this, actually.”

My heart, on the other hand, might have. “Oh.”

“I’d be closer.” He rested his hand on the small of my back and pulled me against him, only our clothes separating our flesh.

“Obviously.” My voice came out breathier than I intended.

Warmth radiated from his body. I parted my lips and let my fingers twine in the side seam of his sweater, my hand somewhere near his hip. His right heel lifted and lowered, bouncing in an impatient gesture, but he didn’t close the distance between us. He was waiting for me to seal the deal.

“We’d be…a little more lost in the moment. I’d make sure you couldn’t run.” His fingers tightened in my hair.

I swallowed, worry inching me out of his spell. “Why is that necessary? Does it hurt?”

“That’s more for their benefit. Things can get hairy if they struggle.” My brows pulled together. “I’m a hunter, after all. If they were to fight, they could…get hurt.”

Hurt, like killed?

I pulled back an inch at the thought. That one, single inch was enough to alert Kade.

His fingers relaxed and he untwined his hold on my hair. He straightened up and swallowed.

I’d sobered enough to keep from making a mistake—this time. Falling into something with Kade, no matter how good—or bad—it sounded, wouldn’t be right. Especially with my feelings still wrapped up in Cam. I didn't need any more complications.

The stretching silence had us both looking everywhere but at each other. The tension tangled between us like so many complex knots, the ropes all taxed to their breaking point.

“I thought you understood,” he said. “That you’d never have to worry about me hurting you, or feeding on you.” He backed up, his wings slowly unfurling, only noticeable at the tips. “But I guess I was wrong.” He stomped, not like a toddler having a fit, but more like a beast pillaging a village. He turned and stepped off the corner of the roof.

I rushed to the edge, watched him glide across the night sky. Angels and the Fallen may not be able to fly often, but Kade once told me gliding was better anyway and didn’t come at the same cost. Whatever that might be. It wasn't like he made a habit of telling me things.

His silver-coated wings disappeared in the distance, leaving me to find a way to sort out my feelings. For Cam. For Kade. For Lee. And for the strange buzzing my wings had done back at the pier.

Chapter Four

Kade

After a short glide around the city, using my time to think, I landed at the one place—the only place lately—I could still call home. I still hadn’t been able to fly since Azriel snapped my wing the night Ray swan-dove off the Golden Gate Bridge. Nothing pissed me off more than knowing he was the one that finally put me out of commission. Being almost grounded also made it tough to show Ray how angels and Fallen really fought, but that was among the things I was hoping to forget here. The bell above the door dinged and my second-favorite waitress, Shelly, beamed her brightest smile at me.

“Hey, doll,” I said, taking my usual squeaky stool at the counter.

“It's been a long time, Kady.” She bent behind the counter, the thick blond stripe in her bangs falling from behind her ear, and pulled out a mug. The aroma of grease, burnt meat, and the single best liquid on Earth—coffee—hung in the air like a “Welcome Home Kade!” sign.

“Yeah, well, I heard a few cops had been sniffing around here thanks to your last waitress. Didn't want to get caught in the middle of that shit storm.” It wasn't a lie. Being alive for as long as I have, every once in a while I'd run into some jackass that swore he'd seen me in an old picture or painting. It wasn't entirely uncommon. And a cop would be the worst sort of person to recognize me.

Shelly spun around to start me a new pot of coffee. “I know what you mean. Sorry about that. I never would have guessed Ray for a killer. Or a mental patient.”

“Yeah. Never would have guessed,” I repeated with an exhale.

“Enough about her.” She flipped the lid on the coffee pot down and leaned into the counter. The floral scent of her perfume KO’d the inside of my nose. “How have you been?”

My heart beat faster at the scent of her, the feel of her heat so close. I flashed her a toothy grin. “Better now.”

She trailed a finger along the top of my hand. Her heavily lined lids dropped a fraction and her lips parted for good measure. She wanted me. This was it. What I'd come for. A way to take my mind off Ray. Maybe not for good, but for long enough.

“What time do you get off?”

“Ten, but I'm due for a break any minute now.”

The coffee pot was just starting to drip. “What did you have in mind?”

She turned her head and shouted, “Daph, I'm going on break!” Her smile grew as she pulled me out of my stool and guided me through the kitchen and out the back.

It didn't surprise me that Shelly was so eager. I'd been working her for months, keeping her interested enough without garnering so much attention she'd throw herself at me every time she saw me. It was an art, luring a woman in then putting her on a shelf for later use. Something I was damn proud of. Most of my kind didn't have the need for such subtlety. They simply took whatever they wanted, draining girls dry, stealing the entirety of their souls so that nothing was left. Despite my lineage, humans weren't so disposable to me.

As soon as we broke the threshold into the alley, Shelly slammed my back into the brick wall and claimed my lips with her own. The sticky red lip gloss she wore smeared across our lips and tasted like wax. Modern makeup really wasn't for me.

I pushed her back, taking her face in my hands. “Slow down. I'm not going anywhere.” I didn't have to use my influence on her. She would have done anything I asked, within reason. I pushed off the brick and pulled her to the other side of the door, in case Daphne or another waitress came looking for her.

“Kade, I've been—”

I slanted my mouth over hers before she could say anything else. Talking led to thinking. No more thinking tonight. She pressed herself against me and moaned. The sound didn't particularly do anything for me, but it did sound practiced. I had to give the girl credit for trying. When I broke the kiss to access the hungrier part of myself, she dotted kisses along my jaw and nibbled on my neck. It was so unexpected I let her. Not many people could surprise me anymore. When she came back up for another kiss, I latched onto her, closed my eyes, and called to her soul.

Chapter Five

Rayna

Work the next day was a welcome distraction. The mingling aromas of coffee and roses weren’t what most people would consider a normal combination, but I’d gotten used to it by now.
Smelly Brews
, the worst name for a coffee house/florist store, the tiny shop I now worked at. Located in the financial district, far enough away from home and school to—hopefully—ensure my secret identity stayed secret. The job couldn’t have been more perfect. Waking up at four-thirty every morning sucked, but by two in the afternoon I was mostly free to do whatever I wanted. The long shifts weren’t ideal, but getting paid to work on Lola Penmis’s GED—yes, Kade’s sense of humor knew no bounds when he scored me a fake ID that rhymed my last name with penis—wasn’t all bad.