A Sister's Forgiveness (3 page)

In the coming week, Matt would start his last year at the small Mennonite school that all three children had attended for the first eight years of their educations. Tessa would start her first year of high school at the Christian high school where Sadie would be a sophomore, and where Geoff would take on the role of assistant principal in addition to his responsibilities as athletic director and coach. He was nervous about that, although he had applied for the position, citing their need for the extra income. He had also joked that maybe they ought to think about going back to the old, simpler—meaning less expensive—lifestyle that Emma and Lars followed.

Jeannie had tried not to take offense at that. After all, she and Geoff had agreed that she would be a stay-at-home mom when Tessa was born, participating in volunteer activities when there was time while focusing primarily on being a homemaker and parent. But over the years, they had gotten caught up in “stuff,” as Geoff called it whenever he looked over the monthly bills.

Jeannie held her tongue, although she wanted to remind him that hosting the entire football team for meals several times a season did not exactly come cheap. And he was the one who had insisted they buy a four-bedroom house when it was just the three of them—and they knew it always would be.

She watched as Emma waited for Lars and their children and then saw her sister’s family join hands as together they walked out to the beach. Although she would never admit it—not even to Emma—the truth was that Jeannie had always seen the ritual of the sunset as a bittersweet moment—sweet in the way that she and Geoff were so blessed with family and friends, bitter in the passing of time—Tessa growing up and moving closer to the day when she would head off to pursue interests of her own. The day when it would just be Geoff and Jeannie alone in that big empty house. She shuddered at the thought.

Tessa came alongside her, taking her hand as they headed down the narrow sandy path. Geoff was already on the beach, and when they stopped beside him, he wrapped his arms around Tessa’s shoulders as he rested his chin on top of her head. Lars had his arm around Emma’s waist and his free hand on Sadie’s shoulder while Emma pulled Matt to her. Jeannie tried not to think about the fact that only she stood alone—unconnected to anyone by touch.

The two families waited in respectful silence as the orb of sun sank lower and lower, streaking the sky around it in vermilion and orange. And just as the sun disappeared, they all closed their eyes and silently prayed. It was part of the tradition, and usually it was a moment that brought Jeannie comfort, a sense of peace.

Not this time
, she thought. She was too consumed with guilt over her impulsive act of earlier that day. Perhaps if she talked to Sadie. Perhaps she should forewarn Emma.
Perhaps I should have minded my own business
.

After the moment of silent prayer, they stayed awhile longer, reluctant to let the day go. Sadie, Matt, and Tessa strolled along the low tide line looking for sand dollars that might have washed ashore, while their parents scanned the horizon for any sign of dolphins. As dusk settled over the beach, they all walked in silence back toward the parking lot.

“Okay, Sadie-girl,” Lars said. “Time’s up. What’s the big news?”

Jeannie saw Sadie glance at Tessa, who nodded encouragingly. Clearly she had already shared her news with her cousin. Of course she would. Despite the year difference in their ages, Sadie often turned to Tessa for support. But then Sadie looked pleadingly at Jeannie. “You tell them,” she said.

“It’s your news,” Jeannie reminded her.

“Well,” Sadie said, drawing out the word as she studied the ground, “how about I drive us home?”

“Oh Sadie, stop stalling and just…” Emma began; then she stopped and looked from her sister to her daughter and back again.
“Nein
. You didn’t,” she said softly.

“Ja,” Jeannie admitted and knew from the way Geoff shoved his hands into his pockets and kicked at a stone in the parking lot that she had been right to regret her actions.

“Did what?” Matt demanded.

“I got my learner’s permit today,” Sadie told him. “Auntie Jeannie took me.” She faced her parents with a hint of defiance. “I’m of age, and you said that I could get it this year. Dad even signed the form and got it notarized so it would be ready once you agreed, and…”

Jeannie found it hard to meet Emma’s gaze. Her sister was speechless. For much of the summer, Sadie had begged her parents to let her get the permit, but Emma had put her off. She had never actually refused her, but she had found excuses for postponing the inevitable. Jeannie had pleaded Sadie’s case to no avail.

“I thought maybe if,” Jeannie said softly as she edged closer to Emma. “I mean, I know how hard this is for you and…”

You didn’t think at all
, she could almost hear Emma wanting to yell, but Emma would never start an argument and spoil the day for everyone. Instead her sister cleared her throat and turned her attention to Sadie.

“There will be ground rules,” she began.

Sadie grabbed her hand and held on. “I know, Mama, and you don’t have to worry a bit. I’ll do anything—extra chores—anything.”

Jeannie saw Emma glance over her daughter’s head at Lars, seeking his counsel on what to do, begging him with her eyes to say something. He nodded and began listing the terms.

“If ever I see or hear from others that you were not wearing your seat belt…,” he said, leaving the possible punishment to Sadie’s imagination. “And there is absolutely no using a cell phone for any reason when the car is in motion.”

“Okay, Dad. I get it.”

“I’m not finished. One scratch on person or vehicle, and if ever you get behind the wheel without either your mother or me…

“Or Aunt Jeannie or Uncle Geoff?” Sadie interrupted hopefully.

Geoff held up his hands in the sign of calling time out in a basketball game. “Leave me out of this,” he said laughing, but he was looking at Jeannie, his eyes questioning why she would do such a thing.

“You can leave me out of this, too,” Matt declared, standing a little closer to his uncle, coach, and mentor.

“You’re fourteen,” Sadie reminded him. “Not an issue.” She turned back to her parents. “So no driving without an adult in the car.…”

“A licensed and responsible driver,” her father corrected.

Emma closed her eyes for a long moment. “All right, it’s done, but you heard what your father said. One infraction, and you forfeit your permit and we do not have this discussion again until you are eighteen years old, understood?”

Sadie nodded solemnly then burst into a grin and hugged Tessa. “Oh, we are going to have so much fun,” she squealed. Then catching the mood of the adults surrounding her, she hastened to add, “I mean, once I learn to drive properly. Just think, Tessa, I can pick you up for school, and we can—”

“Time enough for you to daydream later,” Lars said gently. “It’s getting dark, and the no-see-ums are out in force tonight. Let’s get home before they eat us alive.”

“Have their own picnic,” Matt chortled, nudging his uncle with his elbow as Geoff put his arm around Matt’s shoulders.

The two families gathered up the last of their belongings and walked across the park to their cars, the men in the lead with Matt, the two girls, their heads bent close whispering excitedly, and Emma with Jeannie.

“I know I overstepped,” Jeannie said. “I just thought—I guess I didn’t think. It’s just that Sadie is like my own daughter just as Tessa is like yours, and…”

“Sadie is not Tessa,” Emma replied, her voice tight.

“Meaning she’s not my daughter?” Jeannie said defensively.

“Meaning she’s not the
same as
your daughter.” Even in the dark, Jeannie knew that Emma was struggling to remain calm. “In spite of the fact that she’s younger, in many ways Tessa shows more maturity and responsibility than Sadie did at her age—than Sadie does now. Sadie is like you, Jeannie—she lives in the moment, and sometimes that’s a wonderful trait. You, for example, have moved mountains with that attitude.”

“And the problem is?”

“Sadie is not only not your daughter—she is also not you. Don’t get me wrong. I love that she has your free spirit and ability to reach out to others. In time I hope all of that will be tempered with a certain wisdom that comes with experience and age, but right now…”

“Okay, I see your point,” Jeannie said as the full tsunami of guilt at her impulsive act washed over her, spoiling the day. “Geoff is always saying that I need to think things out more carefully.” Jeannie glanced over to where her husband was talking to Lars. She tried to gauge Geoff’s mood, but he had his back to her. “I seem to disappoint him a lot these days.”

“How are things?” Emma asked, following her gaze. Emma’s tone had gone from tight to sympathetic in a heartbeat. “I mean with you and Geoff.”

Emma was the only person Jeannie had talked to about the recent problems in her marriage. For the last several months, she and Geoff had struggled to find their way. He had spent long hours at the academy, and she had gotten more involved in her volunteer work. Emma had noticed—and asked.

“We’re… Things are a little… It’s better,” she said, but her response sounded unconvincing even to her.

“But?”

Jeannie forced a smile and waved off the question. “It’s all the pressure he’s under—the new job as vice principal, the start of a new football season. You know how intense he can be when it comes to his work.”

But Jeannie understood that her husband was something of a mystery to her family. He had not been raised plain, and while on the surface Geoff was a gregarious and outgoing man, there were times when he could be withdrawn and come across as aloof, even cold. “We just need time,” she whispered, wondering who she was trying to convince—Emma or herself.

Emma’s strong arms came around her, drawing her close. “You’ve had a rough road to travel lately. I’m sorry I haven’t been there more for you.”

“Are you kidding? You’re the one constant I know will always be there for me—supporting me—and hopefully forgiving me?”

Emma laughed and released her. “Don’t pull that baby sister act on me. You messed up, and you know it.”

“Yeah. I did.”

“Are you ladies coming?” Geoff called from the parking lot. He was standing near a lamppost, and Jeannie saw that he was smiling, but still a hint of impatience came through the smile.

“On our way,” Jeannie called back as she linked arms with Emma. “So, we’re okay?” she asked.

Emma pulled her a little closer. “We’re fine,” she assured her. “Just promise me that when Matt is old enough to drive, you’ll…”

“…tell you before I take him to get his learner’s permit—got it.” She patted Emma’s hand. “Wasn’t it a wonderful day?”

Emma hugged Jeannie, and in that hug was forgiveness. “It was a very special day—one we’ll hold onto for a long time.”

Jeannie giggled. “At least until this time next year—just wait and see what surprises I have planned for you then.” She took off running, and Emma chased after her as they had so often done as teenagers. They were still laughing breathlessly when they reached the cars where Lars and Geoff and the children stood waiting.

Chapter 3

Tessa

B
eing an only child had its advantages. It also had its pitfalls. Like when a kid’s parents weren’t getting along. Lately Tessa’s mom and dad had seemed like they were heading down different paths. Her dad was all about his work and was worried about finances more than usual. Mom, on the other hand, seemed to go the other way. She was always inviting hordes of people to the house for suppers or cookouts and such, like she needed to fill the house with any warm body she could find.

While they didn’t fight like some parents did—shouting and such—the way they had gotten so quiet around each other was even more disturbing.

While working on a report on the Clinton presidency, Tessa had come across a photograph of Chelsea Clinton walking between her parents when their marriage was pretty much in the tank. Chelsea was holding hands with her father on one side and her mother on the other as if she and she alone were the link keeping their family together.