A Shelter of Hope (24 page)

FORATIME UNA sat in one corner of the room, silently stitching away on Simone’s new gingham dress while Rachel continued her bedside care. The tall Swedish girl had explained that she wanted to finish the dress on Simone’s behalf even if the possibilities of her wearing it to the celebration were slim to none. Rachel thought it a lovely idea.

“She’ll probably be encouraged by the fact that we continued with plans for Friday. Maybe she’ll see that we had every hope that she would recover,” Rachel said, trying her best to sound encouraging.

“Ja,” Una replied. “My
fader
came down with a sun stroke once. He worked too long in the wheat field and
Moder
found him. He was sick for a good long time.”

Rachel nodded and continued to bathe Simone. “Of course, Simone is young and strong. Hopefully, and with God’s help, she’ll recover quickly.”

“Ja,” Una whispered softly and continued with her sewing.

Rachel looked back at the restless body of her patient. “No. No,” Simone moaned over and over.
At least she’s making some signs of life
, Rachel thought. Several long hours had already passed in deathly silence, causing Rachel to fear that she might never again regain consciousness. The moaning and thrashing, however, seemed a good sign. Simone was fighting, and that could only be to her benefit, as far as Rachel was concerned.

“No … don’t.” Simone pushed at imaginary images, then fell silent.

Rachel could only imagine that Simone fought the same creature who had issued the stripes on her back.
What horrors must inhabit the poor child’s mind!

“Shhh,” Rachel comforted and stroked Simone’s fevered brow with the cloth. “No one can hurt you now. I won’t let anyone hurt you.”

Simone seemed to settle for a few moments, giving Rachel a feeling of hope and satisfaction. About this time, Una wearied of her sewing and readied herself for bed. She offered to help Rachel through the night, but Rachel admonished her to get some sleep.

“Morning will come soon enough, and you’ll have to work doubly hard to help pick up Simone’s station.”

Una nodded, knelt in prayer, then slipped into her bed. “It’s still so hot,” she murmured. “I wish we could make it better for Simone.”

“I know,” Rachel replied. “But God has it all under control. He knows best.” She could only pray that God’s best included Simone’s recovery. She didn’t know how she would deal with the death of one of her girls, should Simone prove too weak to endure her ordeal.

All through the night, Rachel bathed Simone with cool water. She longed to offer the unconscious girl comfort, especially when her moaning became more intense. The images had apparently grown more fearsome, and Rachel felt herself moved to tears as Simone pleaded for help.

“Don’t go, Mama,” she cried out.

“I’m here, Simone,” Rachel replied, not knowing how else to help her. She reached a hand up to touch her furrowed brow. The fever didn’t seem nearly as high, and Rachel began to hope that Simone’s recovery would come soon.

“Didn’t mean to,” Simone said, thrashing violently to one side. “Didn’t kill him.”

Rachel physically pulled back, unable to hide her surprise. Grateful that Una slept peacefully, Rachel tried to calm the racing beat of her heart. Kill him? What was she talking about?

Simone continued to moan and twist in the bed until Rachel feared she might hurt herself. Still, every time Rachel tried to restrain Simone, it only caused her to react more violently.

“No! Don’t touch me! Stay away!” Simone cried out, wrestling against Rachel’s tender hold.

“God, please help me,” Rachel pleaded. “Give this poor child peace of mind so that her body can heal.”

Spying the Bible beside Simone’s bed, Rachel picked it up and opened the cover. “‘Darling Daughter, I love you more dearly than my life, and I would gladly give it to save you from harm. Look for me, I am coming back for you, just as Jesus promised He, too, would come back for us one day. Mama.”’ Rachel read the words aloud and wondered at their meaning. Simone had said that her mother was dead. That both parents, in fact, had recently died. What did it mean that she would come back for her? Had her mother gone away only to die before she could make her way back home?

Rachel tried not to think about it overmuch as she leafed through the pages and began to read aloud comforting words from the twentyseventh chapter of Psalms. “‘The LORD is my light and my salvation: whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?”’ Simone seemed to calm at the words, and, feeling encouraged, Rachel continued to read aloud, pausing only when she came to the seventh verse to rinse out the cloth she had placed on Simone’s neck and chest.

“‘Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me. When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek.”’ Rachel felt tears come to her eyes and prayed that God might hear Simone’s cries of despair.

“‘Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation. When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.”’ Rachel reread the last sentence and thought of all that Simone had told her, and of the words given by Simone’s mother inside the cover of the Bible. “Do you hear that, Simone?” she questioned softly, once again bathing the younger woman’s body. “Even if the rest of the world has forsaken you, the Lord will take you into His care. You must see that He loves you, Simone. He would not leave you to face this misery by yourself.”

Rachel realized that she was rambling on, but even if Simone couldn’t hear and understand the words she spoke, they comforted Rachel. In this girl’s heart lay hideous and horrible secrets, the likes of which Rachel had never known. Somehow, some way, Rachel wanted to be a help to Simone. She longed to see her healed physically and spiritually. The pain was evident. The need—even more so.

Bowing her head, Rachel began to pray and didn’t even realize she’d nodded off until Simone, regaining consciousness, called her name.

“Rachel,” the weak voice called.

Rachel jerked awake. “Oh no! I fell asleep!” she exclaimed, meeting Simone’s half-opened eyes. “Oh, you’re awake!”

Una stirred from her bed but remained silent as Rachel began to question Simone. “Can you understand me?”

“Yes,” Simone replied in a barely audible voice. “Where am I?”

“In bed, I’m afraid,” Rachel replied, giving her a smile of encouragement. “You’ve fallen ill due to the heat.”

Simone closed her eyes, not seeming to understand. Rachel rinsed the washcloth out in tepid water before speaking again. “I’ve been bathing you throughout the night. The doctor thought it the best way to bring down your fever. That and some pretty awful-smelling medicine I’ve been giving you.”

Simone nodded and opened her eyes again. “I feel terrible. So weak.”

“I don’t doubt you feel bad, but it will pass. You overdid things, and the heat made you collapse. It’s not all that unusual for Kansas summers. I should have thought better of working you so hard all at once,” Rachel replied, rambling along uncomfortably. How could she ever explain to Simone that she knew about her beatings and that in her fever-induced sleep, Simone had shared some rather revealing fears? Trying to ignore her concern, Rachel continued. “But I promise to see to your care, and you’ll be back on your feet before you know it. I’ve also been praying for you. Una too.”

This seemed to draw Simone’s interest. “Praying for me? Why?”

Rachel smiled. “Because that’s where I believe the real power to healing lies. In and of myself, I can do nothing, but with Christ all things are possible.”

“You sound like my mother,” Simone said, slowly licking her lips.Then, as if she’d made no comment at all, she asked, “Could I have some water?”

“Certainly,” Rachel answered, quickly dropping her task with the cloth in order to retrieve a half-f drinking glass. “Here, let me help you.” She slipped her arm under Simone’s neck and shoulders and helped to lift her up just a bit.

Simone tried to take hold of the water glass but lacked the energy. She allowed Rachel to see to the task and waved her away when she’d had enough. Rachel didn’t want to lose the openness Simone had offered in her comment about her mother, and so setting the glass back on the nightstand, she picked up the Bible.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve been reading from your Bible. The Scriptures seemed to help calm you when you were upset.”

Simone seemed to struggle to focus on what Rachel was saying. “Upset? Why was I upset?”

Rachel reached out and gently pushed back a strand of black hair. “Why don’t you tell me.”

Simone shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Simone, I’d like to be your friend. I’d like to help you through whatever bad times you’re facing. I know you don’t know me very well, and maybe it seems hard to believe that anyone would want to be good to you without expecting something else in return. But I care about you. I genuinely care.”

Simone shook her head from side to side, and Rachel thought she saw tears in the younger woman’s eyes. “Don’t care, Rachel. Not about me.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t deserve it. I’m no good.”

“What a thing to say,” Rachel replied, totally taken aback by Simone’s bluntness. “You’re one of God’s creation. Of course you deserve to be cared for. Besides, everyone here cares about you. They like you.” Simone looked away and said nothing.

Rachel couldn’t help but feel inadequate in her attempt to deal with Simone’s problems. Her fever-induced rantings revealed all manner of possible trials. “Simone, I hope you won’t think me out of line, but I want you to know that you are important to me. Not just because you’re one of my Harvey Girls. Not even because we need the extra help. From the first day you came, I knew you were the kind of young woman I’d like to be friends with. You are smart and self-confident, and even though you have said very little about yourself, I can’t help but feel that we have much in common.”

At this, Simone shook her head and dared a look at Rachel. “No. We have very little in common,” she said weakly.

“We are both on our own … many miles from the people who love us,” Rachel offered.

“There are no people who love me,” Simone replied. “That is one of the biggest differences between us.”

“I read what your mother wrote inside the cover of this Bible,” Rachel countered. “Her love for you is quite clear.”

“She’s dead!” Simone snapped. “Now, please just go away and leave me be. Either I’ll get better or I’ll die. One’s pretty much the same as the other. Either way I’ll be alone.”

The bitterness in Simone’s words was nearly too much for Rachel. “You don’t have to be alone, Simone. God has promised to never leave us or forsake us. He cares, whether you believe in my feelings or not.”

“I find all of it hard to believe,” Simone replied. “I thought just as you did once. My mother felt that way, too. And now she’s dead and I’m nearly that way.”

“But the truth is still valid, whether you believe in it or not. God is faithful, even if the people in your life failed to be. His hand is upon you. He sees everything that happens, and it grieves Him when you are hurting.”

“Then He must go around grieved an awful lot.”

Rachel had no idea how to answer, and it was just as well. Una had awakened and noticed the conversation taking place.

“How is Simone?” she questioned as she sat up.

“Better,” Rachel answered. “The fever is down. I’m hopeful for a full recovery.”

Una got out of bed and came to Simone’s side. “Can I do anything for you, Simone?”

“No,” she replied, eyes closed and jaw tightly clenched. “I just want everyone to go away and leave me be.”

“That’s the sickness talking,” Rachel replied. “Una, when you go downstairs to work, will you please get word to Mr. O’Donnell that Simone is much better? He’s spent the night in my office.”

Simone’s eyes snapped open. “He did what?”

“He was worried about you. He wanted to stay close by in case you needed something. I allowed him to sleep in my office. I figure rules can sometimes be broken for extraordinary circumstances like this.” She looked hard at Simone, willing her to understand as she added, “Sometimes exceptions are made in order to protect people.”

Simone said nothing but quickly looked away.

“I’ll tell him she’s awake,” Una replied. “Do you want me to send for the doctor?”

“No,” Rachel replied. “He promised to come by first thing.”

Simone shook her head. “I don’t need a doctor. I don’t want him here.” Her tone hinged on fearfulness.

“Dr. Hill is very kind and very attentive. He fears you’ve suffered a heat stroke, but I think God has lessened the seriousness of your condition. I think perhaps you were just temporarily overcome and soon you’ll feel right as rain.”

Light was beginning to filter into the room from the dawning of a new morning, and along with the fact that Una had turned on another lamp, Rachel could clearly see that Simone’s color was nearly normal. Simone might not believe in miracles, but Rachel did. She was seeing one now—of that she was certain. Somehow, some way, she had to help Simone see it, too. Rachel was also determined to make the younger woman see that she could trust her as a friend. Maybe in doing so she could help Simone to believe that she could trust God, as well.

NINETEEN