A Scandalous Deception (21 page)

“I suppose it’s your fault she arrived in the
dead of night all alone,” Beckford remarked, breaking Fin from his
reverie.

“Beg your pardon?” Fin managed to keep from
squirming in his seat at the accusation. A rake, even a reformed
one like Luke Beckford, would notice such a thing. “My fault?” he
echoed, hoping he sounded innocent of the charge leveled against
him.

“You couldn’t keep her from running off in
the dark? For God’s sake, she’s just a mere slip of a girl.”

Oh. That’s what he meant. Fin supposed he was
guilty of that charge. Still, he shook his head. “I didn’t even
know she was gone. The St. Claire sisters are quite determined when
they get their mind set on something.”

At that, Beckford laughed and lifted his
remaining whisky up as a mock toast. “Truer words were never
spoken.”

“Speaking of determined St. Claire sisters,
how is Juliet?” Fin asked. Truly he should have asked before now,
and would have if he hadn’t been so singularly focused on
Lissy.

A bemused grin spread across the gentleman’s
face. “Bound and determined that this child will be born on
Georgie’s birthday. If it kills her. Fairly certain she’s been
holding off contractions with sheer will.”

Georgie’s birthday. Damn. Fin hadn’t even
realized the date was so close.

His expression must have said as much because
Beckford’s grin grew wider and he said, “Forgot, did you? I only
ever remember Juliet’s because a sennight before she starts
reminding me. ‘My birthday is in six days, you know?’ Or ‘Just five
more days until my birthday, Luke.’” Then he laughed. “I missed the
date
one
time and she’s been adamant ever since that I’ll
never do so again.”

“That does sound like Juliet,” Fin said
softly. It sounded like Georgie too. He still missed her. Part of
him always would. Fin heaved a sigh and stared most pointedly at
his would-be brother-in-law. “You don’t think Georgie would mind if
I found someone, do you?”

Beckford’s eyes widened in surprise. “Have
you? Found someone, that is?” He downed the last of his whisky.

Fin shrugged slightly. “Fallen rather hard,
I’m afraid. Even asked the girl to marry me.”

“Good for you.” The twinkle in Beckford’s
eyes said better than words could how truly happy he was for Fin.
Of course, he didn’t know all of the details. Who knew what his
reaction would be to the truth?

“Don’t congratulate me yet. She didn’t say
yes and the girl is more than stubborn.”

But Beckford shook his head. “They all are in
their own way.” An earnest smile lit his lips. “But, no, I don’t
think Georgie would mind. I think she’d be happy for you. Juliet,
Felicity, Edmund. They’ll all be happy for you.”

Felicity. What was he going to do about her?
“I hope so.”

“You’ve always been there for all of them.
They want you to be happy, I can assure you.” He frowned just a bit
and continued, “Things do change when you get married, though.
You’ll see her family all the time and your own hardly at all. I
can’t remember the last time I saw my brother, actually. Caroline
is a different story because…Well, she’s Caroline and if she didn’t
have her fingers in everyone else’s business, she wouldn’t be my
sister.” He shrugged. “So just do be cognizant of that. I think the
three of them wouldn’t know what to do with themselves if you just
up and vanished from their lives.”

That was hardly a concern. “I
am
Edmund’s guardian,” he said instead of revealing the truth about
his feelings for Lissy.

“And Juliet’s confidant and Lissy’s savior.
The many hats you wear, Fin.” He grinned widely. “You’ll have to
warn your lady about the madness she’ll be marrying into. Do try
not to scare her off.”

Fin couldn’t help but laugh. Under any other
circumstances, the warning would be most apt. But not in the one
Fin actually found himself in. “I hardly think that will be a
problem at all.” Though scaring her off was, very clearly, a
problem. One that needed to be sorted out.

“Papa?” came a tiny voice from the
doorway.

Luke winced just a bit. “Benton Beckford,
what are you doing out of bed?”

The little blond boy scampered across the
Aubusson rug and threw himself against his father’s legs. “I want
milk.”

“You’ve already emptied one entire cow this
evening.” He placed his now empty glass on the desk not far away
and then scooped his son up into his arms. “You will be exhausted
in the morning and then your nurse will come to yell at
me.
Hardly fair, if you ask me. But that’s what will happen.”

The little boy giggled, which was, even at
this hour, one of the sweetest sounds Fin had ever heard. Lucas
Beckford clearly adored his son. Even through his exhaustion and
annoyance, his love and adoration shone through. Someday…

Someday Find would like to have his own son
in his arms, Lissy by his side, doting on the child. In fact, he
wanted that all of suddenly more than he’d ever wished for anything
in his life. If only—

“All right, Ben.” Beckford pushed out of his
seat and jostled his son in his arms. “Let’s go see if Uncle Fin’s
room is prepared. It should be, but these days you never know.”

Fin placed his own glass on the ducal desk
and followed the gentleman into the corridor. His room would be
ready, however, Fin had no doubt. His room was always ready and had
been ever since Juliet had taken up residence at Prestwick Chase,
declaring that Fin was and always would be welcome as any member of
the family. He hoped that would still be true the next morning.

Lissy didn’t think she’d slept even a wink
after Fin arrived the night before. And with the sun now shining
brightly into her chambers, attempting to get anymore was a lost
cause. But how
could
she have slept? Fin was just down the
corridor, as he always was at Prestwick Chase, his presence calling
to her as strongly as a flame called to a moth.

She’d cried until she had no tears left and
then just lay awake, staring up at the canopy over her bed, like
she had in her younger years when the call of freedom and distant
shores always seemed to beckon. If only she’d never gone to Boston
to visit with her mother’s family. If only she’d never met Aaron.
If only she was free to love Fin the way he deserved to be loved.
She did love him. She loved him quite desperately. If she hadn’t
known that before her dash across Derbyshire, she certainly knew it
now. She’d had nothing but her own thoughts to keep her company the
night before. Perhaps it was the clear country air or perhaps she
just didn’t have the strength to deny what she knew in her heart
any longer.

But none of that mattered. She wasn’t free,
after all, and wishing she was wouldn’t change the situation. Even
still, that didn’t make her heart hurt any less. She doubted
anything ever would.

She should get up, throw on a clean dress,
head into Juliet’s chambers, visit her sister and—

Just then, the door to her chambers was
unceremoniously tossed open and her little blond-headed nephew
raced across the floor and hurled himself onto her bed. “Aunt
Lissy!” he cried, wrapping his arms around her neck.

She couldn’t help but laugh. The boy was such
a little scamp. “Good morning, Ben.” She hugged him tightly to her
and kissed one of his rosy cheeks. “I have missed you.”

“Benton,” Fin’s voice came from the
threshold, “your nurse is waiting for you.”

Lissy clutched her nephew a bit tighter to
her as though the boy could shield her from having to face Fin, but
that was silly and not terribly effective in the long run. Besides,
she couldn’t use the child that way. It was hardly fair to him. So
she kissed Ben’s cheek once more, loosened her hold on him and
said, “Go see nurse and we’ll play later, all right,
sweetheart?”

He nodded quickly, scrambled from the bed and
stopped right in front of Fin. “See. I found her for you.”

“That you did.” Fin didn’t even have the
decency to look contrite for manipulating the three-year-old. “You
are the best scout, Ben.” He tousled the boy’s hair before turning
his pointed attention on Lissy. “Good morning.” His brown gaze
nearly scorched her where she sat.

Without a look backwards, Ben took off down
the corridor like a tiny tornado, leaving Lissy to fend for
herself.

She folded her arms across her chest, and
glared at the viscount who looked as though he had enjoyed a very
restful sleep. Blast him. “I cannot believe you used that little
boy to gain access to my chambers. You should be ashamed of
yourself.”

Fin shrugged a bit, completely unrepentant.
“I’ve been a politician all my life, Lissy. One should have as many
allies as one is able to possess, even those found in very small
packages. And one should know the best time to ask for favors.”

“I hardly think Juliet would appreciate you
using him in such a way.”

“I hardly think Juliet would appreciate the
fact that you risked your life racing across the county last night.
But I didn’t come here to discuss what would or would not make your
sister happy.”

No, of course not. He’d want to talk about
what happened between them, and Lissy would rather do almost
anything else in the world. “I’m not even dressed, Fin,” she
complained, even though she was still wearing her clothes from
yesterday and was perfectly decent.

He stepped into her chambers and shut the
door behind him. “I’ve seen you in less.”

Hardly a gentlemanly thing to remind her of.
“Phineas,” she began, adopting Juliet’s most haughty voice, “open
that door at once.”

His brow lifted perceptibly. “Do you really
want all of Prestwick Chase to overhear our conversation?”

She didn’t even want to hear it herself.
“This is all highly improper. And I know how you pride propriety
above all else, so—”

“I think we’re beyond propriety, Lissy.” He
shook his head, his warm brown eyes boring into hers as though he
knew exactly what she was up to. Of course, he probably did, as
he’d known her most of her life. “We need to talk.”

The hard line of his jaw made it quite clear
that he wouldn’t be dismissed very easily. But talking wouldn’t
solve their predicament, and having him alone in her chambers only
made the memories of yesterday stronger in her mind. If she could
only put him off a few more minutes, give her sleep-deprived mind a
little bit of time to figure out what she could say. Lissy feigned
a smile and said, “Give me time to change and we can talk in the
breakfast room, then.”

“You mean give you time to bolt somewhere
else, don’t you?” He crossed the floor in a few strides and stopped
at the foot of her bed. “Do take pity on me, Lissy. No more
running. Let’s just talk, shall we?” And then he sat on the very
edge of her bed.

Lissy gulped. The nearness of him invaded her
senses and should have sent her fleeing for safety; but it was Fin
– kind, dutiful, noble Fin. A more honorable man didn’t exist, or
at least she hadn’t met anymore more noble than him.

He captured her hand in his and tingles raced
across her skin from the contact. “Sweetheart,” he began.

But Lissy pulled her hand from his grasp and
shook her head. “Don’t, Fin. Whatever you’re about to say, please
don’t. I don’t want to lose you and if you—”

“You’re not going to
lose
me.”

“If you say anything else, I will. If you say
anything else then things will never go back to how they were, and
I—”

“I don’t want things to go back to how they
were.” His eyes seemed to warm even more. “I want
you
,
Lissy, for now and for always. I meant what I said last night at
the inn.”

And what she wouldn’t give to make all of
that a possibility. But it wasn’t. And it couldn’t be. “I can’t get
married again, Fin. I just can’t. You can talk about it all you
want, but it won’t change that fact.”

He heaved a sigh. “You know I’d never hurt
you.”

She did know it. Fin would never hurt anyone,
but… “That doesn’t have anything to do with this.”

“Doesn’t it?” His brow lifted in question. “I
saw the fear in your eyes, Felicity. Just like I used to see it in
Georgie’s.”

Lissy snorted. “I am
not
Georgie.” She
was the furthest thing from her sainted sister.

“No. Two sisters couldn’t be more different,”
he agreed. “But in this you are the same. I know that particular
look, Felicity. I know it better than most. Every time I saw it in
her eyes it broke my heart and seeing it in yours nearly killed me.
How could anyone mistreat you? How could anyone steal your
lightheartedness, your sweet nature?”

How had he possibly seen all of that? Feeling
vulnerable and quite exposed all of a sudden, Lissy tugged the
counterpane closer to her chest as though she could somehow keep
him from seeing anything else. “Don’t, Fin.”