A Real Cowboy Never Says No (17 page)

Shit. He felt like things were spiraling. "Irreconcilable differences," he said. "If we can't make it work, then that's the way it is. But right now, you're living with me, and we're a happy couple. So, yeah, I need to go."

She fell silent, and tension seemed to build between them. After a moment, she looked at him. "After my parents' car accident, I felt like my entire world collapsed. I had nothing to lean on, and it was absolutely terrifying. I've had to learn to be strong, and I feel like I'm pretty good at it. But every night when I go to bed, and I lie there thinking about how I'm single and pregnant, I'm terrified. I don't know how I'm ever going to do this on my own, Chase. If you start coming to appointments with me and acting like a devoted dad and partner, I'm going to get used to having you to lean on. Then when I'm on my own again, I don't know if I'll be able to do it. I can't rely on you, and then suddenly not have you there. It's too hard."

Chase swore under his breath and set the bags down. He took her bag and set it beside his, then took her hands. They were trembling and cold, and suddenly he felt like such an ass for being pissed that she was out there in his town, building her life. "You need to understand something, Mira. I will do
anything
for those who I've committed to. For my whole life, it's been only my brothers and AJ. And now it's you and that baby. You're in my circle of protection, and no matter what you do, you'll never be outside of it. You don't have to do this on your own, and it doesn't make a difference whether you're living here or not. I'm here for you and the baby, all the way through."

Tears brimmed in her eyes. "It's not the same thing, Chase."

"What's not the same thing?" He didn't understand how he was failing her.

She carefully extracted her hands from his. "Having you to back me up is wonderful, but it's different than having a partner who is there just for you, someone who is that special confidant who always puts you before anyone else. Going to the doctor's appointments is so personal. Sharing it with you would make it feel…well...it would feel like we're a couple, not simply that you're a great guy who has my back. I'm not made of steel, Chase. I would love to have someone by my side, so if you play that role, it's going to be too hard for me to remember that it's all a lie."

He ground his jaw. He didn't quite grasp the difference of what she was saying. He had no experience, either as an observer or a participant, in the kind of relationship she was describing. He just knew that he wanted to be a part of this with her. "I'd like to go." Was that better? Asking instead of demanding?

Something flickered in her eyes, a vulnerability that made his protective instincts flare up. "Chase, you aren't hearing me."

"I'm trying. I don't have background in this stuff." His horse nudged at his shoulder impatiently, reminding Chase that he still needed to feed him. "I want to go with you," he repeated. Instinctively, his gaze flicked to her belly. "I want to know that the baby's okay, too, you know. The kid doesn't have a dad. He's going to need someone."

The corner of her mouth curved up. "He might be a she."

"Girls need dads too." He frowned, suddenly thinking back to the days when he was in high school. "They need dads with big guns actually. I don't want anyone to mess with her." His gaze settled on her face, and he noted the shadows under her eyes and the weariness of her shoulders. "Or you."

His words fell into the silent chasm between them. After a moment, she managed a smile. "I'll go make dinner while you feed Red." She picked up two of the grocery bags, then turned and hurried into the house, without even looking back, leaving all his promises and offers dangling in the cool evening air, untouched and unacknowledged.

Grimly, he stared after her as the screen door swung shut behind her. What the hell was he doing wrong? The further she drifted from him, the more he wanted to pull her back. He was beginning to think that his agreement to her proposal that they didn't have to get married hadn't been the best decision. If they were married, he'd at least feel that he had some way to hold onto her.

Red nudged him, and he rubbed the horse's nose. "I think you're lucky you've been gelded," he muttered, as he swung back into the saddle. He turned the horse back to the barn, half-wishing that gelding really would solve his problem...

Or not.

He wasn't ready to give up yet, and when he got Mira back, he was going to need all his parts functioning just fine.

Because he would get her.

He
had
to get her.

Mira braced her hands on the dashboard of Chase's truck, peering at the old farmhouse as his truck bounced up the dirt driveway. "I really think this is a bad idea. I don't think I can lie to Gary." She'd managed to put off the dinner invitation that Gary Keller had issued at the airport when she'd arrived, but when he'd found her at the hardware store earlier in the week, he'd cornered her and she'd had no escape.

And now they were here, about to disillusion one of the nicest men she'd ever met.

"You don't need to lie." Chase put his truck into park, his muscles flexing beneath his denim shirt. He was showered and freshly shaved, and he smelled amazing. He looked younger with his clean shave, and a part of her wanted desperately to run her hand over his jaw. What would it feel like to have him kiss her when his face was so soft?

He raised his brows at her, then lightly grasped her wrist. She was too surprised to pull away, and then, when he pressed her hand against his face, she didn't want to pull away. She slid her fingers along his jaw. "So smooth," she whispered.

"You don't have to hold back," he said, his gaze riveted to her face, and his voice deliciously husky. "You can touch me anytime you want."

Sudden desire rushed through her, and she quickly pulled her hand away. She'd been at the ranch for three weeks, and it had been increasingly difficult to keep her distance from Chase. He was charming at dinner, gruff and cranky before his coffee, and ridiculously sexy in his dusty jeans and cowboy hat whenever he came in from the barn. He didn't appear to have anyone else on the ranch helping him, and he worked literally from sunrise to sunset training horses, caring for them, and keeping the physical structure in good repair.

He reminded her of her dad, in a way, with his unflagging, steady energy to do his job. He never seemed to get flustered when a horse was difficult, and she'd never seen him lose his temper with an animal or anyone else. He was dependable and solid, and she was already starting to rely on him.

His constant, unabashed efforts to seduce her didn't help. She was attracted to him, and it was getting harder to remember to keep her distance. She had to keep reminding herself that he'd refused to choose her over his brothers, so she knew that she would never come first to him. Not that she wanted him to walk away from his family, but she couldn't marry him, or anyone, unless she knew that she would come first if she needed it.

He smiled slightly, the corners of his mouth curving up in a most insanely tempting fashion. "Did I mention that you look sexy as hell in those jeans?"

Heat flooded her cheeks. "I don't think so." She knew he hadn't. She clung to every compliment he gave her, even though she pretended not to hear most of them.

He leaned closer, his fingers gliding over the nape of her neck. "You look sexy as hell in those jeans, sweetheart." His breath was warm against her mouth, and her heart started to race.

"Don't call me sweetheart," she whispered.

He cocked an eyebrow. "Why not?"

"Because I like it." The admission slipped out, and she bit her lip, but it was too late to take back. Chase's face softened, and a hungry gleam appeared in his eyes. Oh, God. He was going to kiss her, wasn't he? He was going to kiss her, and she was going to let him and—

"Chase!" The front door of the gray farmhouse swung open with a bang, and Mira leapt back from Chase, both relieved and horribly frustrated by the interruption. She didn't want to have time to think about kissing him. She wanted it to just happen without her making the decision that she wanted it, because she couldn't make that decision.

Chase didn't look annoyed, however. He was studying her with a thoughtful look on his face, as if he realized that she would have let him kiss her, and he was contemplating exactly what he was going to do with that bit of information.

"You two ever going to get out of that truck?" A red-haired woman in blue jeans and cowboy boots was striding energetically toward the truck. The wrinkles on her face suggested she was in her seventies, but her flaming red hair was fit for a teenage rodeo queen. "It's about time you brought Mira around."

Mira quickly turned away from Chase, wishing that the moment had never happened. She wasn't sure which moment it was that she regretted. Was it the fact she'd almost kissed him, or the fact that she'd been interrupted before it had happened? She didn't know. God, she was so confused.

Taking refuge in their visitor, she opened the door and climbed out of his truck before Chase could make it around the truck to escort her, as he liked to do. "Hi," she said, forcing cheerfulness into her voice. "You must be Martha Keller."

"I am!" Martha swept Mira into a bear hug that surprised her, but felt amazing. "It's so good to see you, my darling." She tucked her arm through Mira's and winked at Chase. "Did you bring my pie, young man?"

Chase grinned, a devilish grin that was so sexy that Mira actually felt a little weak in the knees. "Would I ever let my favorite lady down?" He reached into the backseat and pulled out three pies that he'd baked last night, even though he'd been so tired that he'd nearly fallen asleep in the bowl of apples. Mira had helped him, and it had been fun cooking together. A lot of fun. "Two apple and one blueberry."

"Three pies? For that you get a second helping." Martha beamed at Chase as he leaped ahead of her so that he could hold the front door open, flirting with the older lady as she ducked under his arm.

Mira was startled by Chase's warm affection with Martha. He was so doting and sweet it was a little heart melting. It was a side she hadn't seen of Chase, or maybe a side she hadn't let him show. Either way, it was not what she needed to see. Endearing was not a quality she wanted to add to his list of attributes.

Gary was waiting for them with a roaring fire, some delicious wine, and a cheese plate containing more delicious cheese than she'd ever had in her lifetime. His hug was as warm as his wife's, and Mira felt her tension rising. How could she lie to these people?

Ten minutes into pre-dinner conversation around the fire, it became too much for Mira to cope with. Gary and Martha were so warm and caring that they reminded her of her parents. It was so cozy and homey, a domestic scene that she hadn't been a part of in so long. The camaraderie between Gary, Martha, and Chase was so evident, making her increasingly aware that her sense of belonging over the past few weeks had been such a superficial farce.

This was the kind of home she'd grown up in. This was the kind of warmth she craved. But this wasn't her world. It was a lie, a fabrication set up to protect a baby. What would Martha and Gary think of her when they found out the truth, that she'd been knocked up in a grief-induced one-night stand, and Chase was playing the hero for a child who wasn't even his? All this would be snatched away from her, and she'd be alone before she'd even had a chance to become a part of this world. Nausea churned in her belly. "Excuse me. May I use your bathroom?"

At Martha's direction, Mira stumbled to her feet and made it to the room in question. She was just shutting the door when Martha appeared over her shoulder.

Mira jumped, startled by the presence. "I'll be right out—"

"Oh, nonsense." Martha took her by the elbow and propelled her right past the bathroom and into the kitchen, plunking her down on a stool at the counter. "You don't need to go to the bathroom, and we both know it. Sit, girl, and talk to me."

Mira stared at her. "Talk? About what?"

"About what? Really?" Martha picked up two potholders and opened the oven. She retrieved a roast, keeping her voice deceptively casual as she addressed Mira. "Oh, how about the fact that you're pregnant, but barely even talking to Chase? Is that a good place to start the conversation?"

Mira felt her cheeks flame up. "What?"

Martha set the roast down on the stove and gave Mira a look. "How big do you think this town is? You're living with Chase. You were all in love when you greeted each other in the airport. You're seeing a doctor because you're pregnant. Despite all that storybook romancing, you and Chase aren't even sitting on the same couch in my living room. What's going on?"

Oh, God. This was what she'd been worried about. How could she lie to this lovely woman? "I just... I don't..." What to say? She hadn't been expecting Martha to know
everything
.

Martha jammed two meat forks into the roast and hoisted it onto a cutting board. "Those Stockton boys have issues," she announced, her voice warm with affection. "I'll be the first to tell you that they all deserved to be in jail at some point in their lives, but they're cleaning up well." She handed Mira a paring knife and three fresh tomatoes. "Slice."

Mira immediately began to cut, grateful for the distraction. "Yes, well, they aren't real high on the idea of a woman in their space."

"Of course not. They learned not to trust them." Martha wagged a baster at Mira. "Looks like you got the job of teaching them that not all women are she-devils from hell."

"That's not my job—"

"What?" Martha slammed the baster on the counter, making Mira jump. "Chase has never so much as let a woman breathe on his truck, let alone move into his house. He might not be able to show it, but he's head over heels for you. He's the oldest in that family, and he's the one who kept the boys together when all that hell was going on. He's got the word 'responsible' carved all the way to the marrow of his bones, but that's not all life is." Martha leaned forward, her eyes twinkling. "He needs to learn that life is also about long, moonlight kisses, late night conversations under the covers, and the kind of intimacy you can get with only that one special someone."