A Moment To Dance (15 page)

He sucked in a ragged breath and blew it out slowly, trying to keep a lid on his emotions. “A drunk driver with a suspended license got on the interstate going the wrong direction… He killed them.”

Tony leaned forward, bracing his arms on the table. “When I found out about the accident, I knew instantly what I had to do. My days of acting like a rebellious, self-indulgent jerk were over. I was needed at home to do what I should have done all along—help my family.”

The memories came back to him hard and fast. “When I told Jessie I was adopting Johnny and moving back to Whistle Stop, she refused to go. She claimed I didn’t owe my family anything. When I disagreed, she packed up and moved out.”

“I’m so sorry.” Ella’s hand covered his and squeezed, easing the tension from his body.

“That’s why I’m here, trying to do my best by Johnny. If it wasn’t for my own stubbornness, he’d still have his parents and that little brother he always wanted.”

“Your stubbornness didn’t cause that drunk driver to hit them.” Her thumb stroked that back of his hand. “And you’ve done a great job stepping into what sounds like mighty big shoes. Your brother and sister-in-law would be proud of you.”

“From what I’ve seen, you’ve done a great job stepping into some mighty big shoes. Your brother and sister-in-law would be proud of you.”

With their hands still touching, Tony turned his hand over. He wrapped his fingers around hers. The pad of his thumb stroked her palm. “So tell me about your childhood.”

“There isn’t much to say.” She fidgeted with a spoon. “When I was ten, my mother died, and I moved to Albuquerque. I graduated from UNM and started substitute teaching until my grandmother’s cancer progressed to the point of her needing full-time care. Now how about I get these dishes cleaned up?”

Ella jerked away from his touch and practically jumped from the couch like a frightened kitten. She was keeping something about her past from him. And why hadn’t she mentioned her little brother? Hadn’t they moved to the stage where they trusted each other? Isn’t that what he’d proven when he’d opened up to her just now?

Tony helped clean up the kitchen, all the while hoping Ella would share some more of her past with him. Instead, they worked in silence. Had he been wrong to think their relationship had taken a turn?

When they’d finished, he led her outside to the porch. This was where he should say good-bye and head on home. He’d shared more with her during that casual meal than he had on any other date—not that this was a date or anything. Still, he couldn’t let go of the thought that things had changed between them.

“Oh, look, the moon is peeking through the tree limbs,” she said. “It gives the world a magical glow. Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?”

Tony’s gaze remained on Ella. “You’re right. The view is stunning.”

A light breeze played with the loose wisps of her hair. He ached to run his fingers through her blond strands, to have her gaze up at him with desire. He’d never craved someone like he did her.

Ella turned to him as though his intimate thoughts had summoned her attention. “You aren’t even looking at the moon.”

“Thanks for dinner.” He changed the subject in an attempt to keep things light between them. Oh, who was he kidding? Things had progressed past light and casual a long time ago.

“It wasn’t much. I hope you got enough.”

“I did.”

He stepped closer to her. What would a good-night kiss hurt? His hands slipped around her waist, and he drew her closer. His line of vision drifted back to her supple lips. They taunted him with their fullness. He told himself to stop, to leave, but an overwhelming desire to taste her sweet lips won out.

Just a quick kiss good night, and then he’d be on his way…

He reached behind her, releasing her hair clip. Her blond locks tumbled down over her shoulders. “You’re so breathtaking.”

She gazed up at him. The moonlight played across her face. But it was her eyes that gave him pause. Was that hesitation he detected in them?

“Do you want me to go?” He would. It’d be tough to turn away from her, but he’d do whatever made her happy.

She shook her head. “I want you to stay.”

That was all the invitation he needed.

His head dipped, and he caught a whiff of her citrus-scented shampoo. The invigorating scent ensnared him, drawing him closer. His mouth brushed tentatively against hers. Her lips were smooth and soft, softer than he remembered. Half-expecting her to pull away, he was surprised when she moved closer. His hands gripped her hips tighter, holding on for this exquisite journey.

Any apprehension slipped into the far recesses of his mind. He never wanted to let her go. His fingers ran through her silky hair as her mouth opened to him. Her tongue stroked his cautiously at first. Teasing. Tempting. Enticing.

She tasted spicy, which fired up his hormones even more. His body pulsed with a need unlike any other he’d known. He stifled a groan of anticipation.

Slow and steady. He repeated the mantra in his head.

He’d never worried so much about pleasing a woman he was kissing. He wanted to sweep her up in this passion and escape to a place where their problems ceased to exist.

Her hands slid up his biceps and across his shoulders, causing a new, stronger wave of desire to wash over him. He lifted her off the ground, bringing her chest-to-chest and hip-to-hip with him. She had to feel his obvious need, his want, and yet she didn’t pull away.

When her jean-clad legs wrapped around his waist, his blood pressure shot into triple digits. Their kiss intensified, and all sense of propriety slipped away.

Here, with Ella, he stopped being the man desperately trying to make up for past mistakes. He wasn’t a son, uncle, firefighter, or cowboy. He was merely a flawed man falling for the most amazing woman in the world.

“Let’s continue this inside,” he whispered against her mouth.

He lowered her to her feet. She led him into the cabin, where long shadows danced through the living room. He pulled her to a stop, needing to press his lips to hers once more, needing assurance that this wasn’t one of his dreams.

Her eager kisses moved from his mouth, along his jaw, and down his neck. A moan swirled in his chest and rose in intensity. Every place her lips touched felt as if it were on fire.

His hands reached out to her, fumbling with the buttons on her blouse. In his eagerness, a button popped off. Ella grabbed at her shirt and backed away. An inner struggle reflected in her eyes. Her sweet mouth opened, but nothing came out.

“I’m sorry. It was an accident.” When she didn’t respond, he added, “If you want me to go, I will.”

Pink stained her cheeks from his stubble. Her lips were a deep rose and slightly swollen from the intensity of their kisses. But it was the wariness in her eyes and the way she clutched at her blouse that kept him from reaching out to her. His hands dropped to his sides, and he turned to the door.

“Don’t go…” She touched his arm. “Please stay…with me.”

“Are you sure?”

She nodded before taking him by the hand and leading him to her bedroom. Darkness descended over them. Tony reached for the light switch, wanting to see the passion in her eyes, but Ella’s hand covered his.

“Leave it off.”

Not about to argue, he instead reached out to her and pulled her close. How had he gotten so lucky to have such an amazing woman with such a big heart wrapped in his arms?

Tonight, all of the rules would change. He didn’t know where it’d leave them, but when Ella’s lips pressed to his, he realized there would be plenty of time for thinking later—much later.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

E
lla settled back on the bed pillows, breathless from their frantic lovemaking. Every inch of her body tingled. Tony had amazed her with his thoughtfulness in making sure he gave her as much pleasure as he got. He’d been able to maneuver past her reservations and get her to think about only one thing—him.

“You’re the most amazing woman,” he drawled.

He pulled her closer with one powerful arm. Her head came to rest on his shoulder. For a time, they lay there with their bodies entwined. No matter how much she fought to hold on to the precious moment, the magic faded away and the harsh reality of the situation settled in.

The prickling sensation of panic inched down her spine and spread to every limb. Had Tony detected her scars? Would he turn away in the light of day? A cold wall of protectiveness settled over her.

Flashes of her nightmare came rushing back to her. She couldn’t let it come true. She’d made a mistake by letting her guard down with him and getting swept away in a rush of emotions. Though he embodied everything she’d ever wanted in a man, if the scars didn’t scare him off, her secret surely would.

How could she let herself be happy when she’d been the one to start the fire that killed her family? She could still hear the echo of her grandmother’s bitter accusations reinforcing her guilt.

She had to end things now before either of them got in any deeper. If Tony ever learned what she’d done, he’d know she would only be a hindrance to his life, a stumbling block when it came to him gaining custody of Johnny. She wouldn’t let that happen. Tony and Johnny were too important to her to take risks with their future.

Tony’s hand caressed her cheek before sliding down her neck and then over her shoulder. With every millimeter his fingers moved, her body tensed and her heart pounded. Had he already noticed her scars? If so, he hadn’t said anything. Was it possible that they were more prevalent to her than others?

When his fingers reached the top of her arm, she shoved aside his hand. She wasn’t brave enough to find out how he’d react to her disfigurement. “It’s late. You should go.” She tried to keep her tone neutral. “Johnny will be worried.”

She inched away. The parts of her body that had been touching him quickly grew cold. Unshed tears pricked her eyes, forcing her to blink repeatedly.

The moonlight peeking through the window allowed her to spot the frown pulling at his face. She turned her back to him, trying to block out the damage of her words. She hated how her moment of weakness—of giving in to her desires—would now hurt him. She should never have let things get this far.

“Johnny is fine. He’s with my mother and long asleep. Now stop worrying and slide back over here.”

“Still, it’s late. We both have to get up early in the morning.”

“Why are you finding every possible excuse to get rid of me? Was it me? Did I push too hard? Too fast—”

“You…you were perfect.” She struggled to keep her emotions in check, even though her heart was breaking.

“Then I don’t understand. Why are you pushing me away? Don’t you know that I care about you?”

She pressed her trembling fingers to her tender lips and blinked repeatedly. She wanted to turn into his arms and burrow her face into his muscled chest. She wanted to feel safe—cared about.

As tempting as the thought was, she couldn’t let herself go there. She couldn’t make herself any more vulnerable. She remembered too well what happened when she opened up to people—her grandmother, her ex-boyfriend—they pulled away and looked at her differently. They left such a distance that she’d never felt so alone. She couldn’t go through that again.

Not even for Tony.

The awkward silence dragged on. What could she say to make this any better for him? A mere “I’m sorry” seemed to lack the depth of her regret at the pain she’d cause him. Her throat tightened as she struggled to hold back her sobs. How could something so wonderful end so badly?

“You’re right.” He got to his feet. “I shouldn’t be here.”

The raw emotion in his deep voice broke through her guardedness. She swallowed hard, washing down her unshed tears. She needed to absorb all of the blame. He’d done nothing wrong. He’d been a giving, tender lover.

“It’s not you.” Her voice wavered. “I’m sorry. I thought I was ready for this, but I’m not.”

Tony flicked on the bedside light, and she yanked the sheet up to her chin.

“What’s going on, Ella? After all we’ve shared…after I opened up…revealed my past…my guilt…how can you shut me out?”

An agonizing moment of silence ensued as she tried to find an explanation to make this okay for him. When she finally spoke, her voice was no more than a whisper. “There are things about me you don’t know. Things that would make you realize tonight can never happen again.”

“Then talk to me. Whatever the problem is, we can work through it.”

She shook her head. “No. We can’t. You wouldn’t understand.” Her voice cracked as a tear slipped down her cheek. “And I couldn’t bear it if you looked at me with pity in your eyes, or worse…”

“I wouldn’t do that. Trust me.” He reached out to her, but she backed away, keeping the sheet in place. His hand landed on the mattress with a thud.

Her heart ached, and unshed tears blurred the wounded look on his face. “Maybe someday you’ll be able to forgive me. Maybe then we can figure out how to be friends again.”

Tony didn’t say a word as he grabbed his things. She was asking too much. She knew it, but she couldn’t stomach the thought of Tony hating her…forever.

♥♥♥

How could something feel so right and end so horribly?

Two days had passed since Tony had experienced, in Ella’s bed, the most exquisite lovemaking. Instead of the images fading, they’d continued to taunt him, making him crave her even more.

Ella next to him.

Lip-to-lip.

Skin-to-skin.

The scorching memory heated his blood, making him shift uncomfortably in his seat. He’d sequestered himself in the office to update the ranch’s finances, but he lacked the concentration.

He’d tried to contact her, but she hadn’t returned his calls. She’d mentioned her past, and his gut told him this had something to do with what he had overheard her telling Johnny about her little brother, but he couldn’t complete the connection. Sure, losing a sibling was difficult. He knew that for an unequivocal fact. But why would that make her close herself off from him?

Restless and distracted, he rushed through lunch before saddling up his horse to ride out and check the fence on the southern boundary. He could have sent one of the hands, but he hoped the fresh air and sunshine would clear his mind. However, when he happened upon a neighboring rancher frowning as he surveyed a downed section of fence, Tony knew he’d never make it back in time for their dance lesson.

He told himself that he needed to do this job personally. After all, he’d given his neighbor his word that it’d be taken care of promptly. He refused to accept that he was grasping at any excuse to avoid facing the woman who’d rejected him.

Had she heard rumors about him? Did she think that he was on the hunt for a mother for Johnny? Because that couldn’t be further from the truth. With a frustrated sigh, he gave his head a shake. Wondering about it wasn’t going to give him any answers.

Needing tools for the repair job, Tony returned to the barn. He glanced at the clock. Ella would still be teaching. Once he’d left a message explaining the situation at the ranch, he headed out.

On the ride, his thoughts continued to circle around and snag on Ella. Her refusal to open up to him about her sudden change of mind about them still stung. He tried telling himself that pursuing this thing with her could jeopardize the adoption, but he wasn’t ready to give up on her. Not yet. Not until he knew what caused her to pull back.

♥♥♥

Why had she even bothered to show up?

Ella drove slowly along the quiet Whistle Stop street. A spaghetti dinner at a nearby church had cars lining both sides of the street in front of the dance studio, forcing her to park around the corner. She’d switched out of her work clothes at school, hoping a pair of worn jeans and a comfy long-sleeved T-shirt would help put her at ease. But it hadn’t done a thing to loosen the knot in her stomach.

Ella locked up her car out of habit before making her way toward the studio. She knew what was going to happen—Tony was going to call off their agreement. How could he not? She’d made such a mess of things, and just when she and Tony were getting along so well. To top it off, she would lose her chance to win the dance contest, and the money to save her home.

Ella pushed open the door of Josie’s dance studio. The thought of facing Tony again made her want to run, but hiding wasn’t an option. She was an adult, and she had to face the mess she’d created in both of their lives.

Her mind reeled with regret as she recalled the hurt in his eyes and the plea in his voice when he’d asked her to trust him. He had no idea how much she wanted to do just that, but when she tried to figure out how to phrase it, fear paralyzed her.

Even though Tony’s truck hadn’t been parked out front, she still found herself scanning the room for him. When she didn’t spot him, a mixture of relief and disappointment churned within her. She consoled herself by realizing everyone ran late once in a while. Yeah, right. He wasn’t going to show up today or any other day. He wanted nothing to do with her anymore. The thought stabbed at her scarred heart.

“Hello, Ella.” Josie stepped out of her office. “Did you not know that Tony canceled?”

“I haven’t heard from him. I turned my phone off before work, and I guess I forgot to turn it back on.” She couldn’t resist reaching for her phone. There was in fact a message from Tony. The knot in her stomach eased a bit. So he was still speaking to her. That had to mean something.

“He said there was a problem at the ranch,” Josie added.

Logically, Ella had known he wouldn’t show, not after the disastrous way things ended between them. The wounded look in his eyes stood out in her memory. Still, a part of her had been hopeful that they could go back to the way things had been before she’d let her desires run amok.

“Too bad he won’t be here tonight. I wanted to go over that new routine we tried on Friday. The chemistry between you two crackles when you’re dancing.”

Her memory quickly returned to the sizzling kiss that had started this whole mess. Heat warmed Ella’s chest, climbed up her neck, and settled in her cheeks. The two of them had crackled on and off the dance floor.

The door opened. Ella glanced up, expecting to find Tony standing in the doorway. Instead, his mother smiled at her.

“Hi. I just dropped Johnny off at Bobby’s because I have a surprise.” A smile lit up Carlota’s face. Then she glanced around. “Where’s Tony?”

Ella stepped forward. “He isn’t here. There was some sort of problem at the ranch.”

Carlota’s forehead wrinkled. “Wonder what it is? I haven’t been home most of the day.”

Ella had assumed this mysterious problem had just been a handy excuse, and Carlota’s confusion confirmed it. Not wanting to explain the truth, Ella said, “I’m sure if it was a big deal, someone would have told you.”

Carlota shrugged. “I suppose you’re right. I’ll check on things when I get home.” She moved farther into the room. “Am I interrupting anything?”

“Uh…no. I’m just leaving.” Ella didn’t want to make idle chitchat.

“Since you aren’t having practice tonight, let’s go see your surprise.” Carlota’s cheeks puffed as she flashed a broad grin.

Ella turned to Josie. “I’m really sorry about this mix-up.”

“No problem. See you Wednesday.” Josie smiled. “By the way, tell your partner he isn’t allowed to skip class again.”

“I…I will.” She doubted she’d get the chance. And if Tony wanted to back out of the rest of their lessons, he could explain it to Josie.

Once outside on the sidewalk, Carlota proceeded to walk in the opposite direction of Ella’s car.

“Wait.” Ella stopped. “My car’s around the corner. I can give you a ride.”

Carlota continued walking. “You don’t need it. We can walk.”

Ella rushed to catch up to the woman. “Any chance you’ll tell me what the surprise is?”

“Stick with me, and you’ll soon find out.”

Ella prayed that whatever it was had nothing to do with Tony. The last thing she wanted was to face him in front of his mother. Things between them were such a mess that his mother would surely catch on to the discord and demand an explanation, something Ella was certain neither of them wanted to provide.