The grandfather clock in Aunt Ruth’s parlor chimed two and Luke jolted awake, his breathing labored as he stared at the ceiling of the tiny bedroom he now called home. He massaged the back of his neck, which was beaded with sweat like always after one of these dreams. His eyelids sank closed in defeat. Dreams?
Nightmare
was a better word. A surreal world where he always seemed to be running, sweating, desperate to escape . . . From what, he was never quite sure . . . but he had his suspicions.
He slowly rolled on his side to avoid rustling the noisy springs, careful not to waken Betty in the next room. She was a light sleeper, and the walls were paper thin. With a guarded sigh, he adjusted his pillow and stared in the dark, wondering when the dull ache in his chest would subside, the one connected to his dreams. He swallowed hard, closing his eyes. The one connected to Katie.
He knew it was sin thinking of her, because when he did, the want inside was so strong, it was a physical ache, and so he avoided it at all costs. Until moments like this, when his iron will was at the mercy of his subconscious, foisting her memory upon him when he had no say at all. And then in his weakest moments, depleted of energy, heart pounding and will still groggy from sleep, he’d be faced once again with the fact that he was in love with a woman who wasn’t his wife.
His wife.
Because that’s what Betty was, as surely as if they had consummated the marriage with a diamond on her hand, and he refused to think of her in any other way. His commitment was unshakable, and the vows were just a formality once he managed to get her to say yes. And it was coming, he could feel it in his bones. In the two months they’d been in Philadelphia, they’d become so much closer, their friendship almost intimate. He closed his eyes. He needed that intimacy badly – anything to draw Betty closer . . . He swallowed hard. Anything to push Katie further away . . .
He heard Betty’s soft snoring through the wall and wished she slept beside him instead. He longed to commit to her in every way possible – with his vows, with his name . . . with his body. But then in the shaky exhale of his breath, Katie’s face suddenly lighted once again, and his eyelids jerked open, desperate to erase her image and the longing it produced.
God, help me to be free
, he prayed with a shiver.
God, help
me to love my wife . . .
Holding his breath, he eased from the bed as slowly as humanly possible, at the mercy of the springs as they squeaked beneath his weight. Sleep would evade him, he knew, at least until memories of Katie grew cold in his bed. And so he would seek solace in prayer down the hall, until slumber could take him far, far away. With a gouge of his hand through his hair, he hitched his pajama bottoms up a fraction of an inch and carefully opened his door, welcoming the cool draft against his bare chest as he silently padded to the parlor. He sank into the couch with a weary groan and laid his head back, eyes closed and thoughts focused on prayer until the clock struck the half hour . . .
“Trouble sleeping again?”
With a jolt against the sofa, his eyelids twitched open at the sound of Betty’s gentle whisper. Worry lines puckered the bridge of her nose as she stared, arms folded at a waist that was now a compact mound beneath a tightly sashed robe. “That’s been happening a lot lately, it seems. Do you . . . want to talk about it?”
The concern in her eyes touched him, and he reached out and tugged her to the sofa, scooping her close as she tucked her legs beneath her robe and rested her head on his shoulder. “As a matter of fact I do, Galetti. Just what do you think you’re doing traipsing around at this hour of the night? You and the baby need your sleep.” He pressed a kiss to her head with a touch of tease. “Of course, if you listened to reason and quit that job like I asked, you could get all the sleep you want during the day.”
Her heavy sigh blew warm against his bare shoulder. “We’ve been over this before, Luke. You know I need the money.”
“No, you need your rest. And so does the baby. Besides, I already told you that I make enough for all of us.” He bent his head to tuck his mouth close to her ear. “Quit the job, Bets, we’ll both get more sleep, I promise.”
She squirmed free from his hold to give him a look that told him he was wasting his time. “You know how I feel about taking charity, McGee, so don’t start with me now. I’m already having enough trouble sleeping as it is. Between endless trips to the bathroom, worrying about you roaming the halls all hours of the night, and this drafty house that keeps my teeth chattering, the last thing I want to do is butt heads with you over money.” Her lips flattened into a tight line. “I’m keeping the job.”
He grinned and hauled her back to his arms, gripping her close until she sagged into his embrace with a sigh of surrender. He kissed her nose. “A little testy, are we? Mmm . . . can’t imagine how it’s going to be after the baby’s born and you don’t get
any
sleep.” He drew her close to warm her, palms massaging her arms to generate some heat. He paused, measuring his words. “But we both know I have the answer for most of your problems, Galetti . . . and mine.”
She stiffened beneath his hold, but he didn’t give her the chance to respond. “Everything solved in one fell swoop – your worries about me, your sleep, your finances, and the future of your baby.” He nestled his mouth at the side of her neck, his voice husky with tease as he kissed her throat. “Plus keep you warm, all at the same time.” With a nip of her earlobe, he breathed his next words hot in her ear. “Marry me, Bets – please.”
“Luke . . .”
Her voice held pain as she attempted to pull away, but he stopped her and cradled her face in his hands. His heart clutched at the sheen of tears in her eyes, and his jaw tightened. Betty Galetti had certainly cried enough tears in her lifetime, he thought with a stab of grief, and it was time that it came to an end. He stroked her cheek and felt his resolve harden as he studied the woman who
would
be his wife. He brushed a stray tear away with the pad of his thumb, and the misery in her eyes told him he was doing the right thing. Her baby would have a father, and his best friend, a husband who would protect and take care of her all the days of her life. He felt his will harden to steel. And by the grace of God, his wife would know there was a God who loved her . . . just like Brady had taught him. He sucked in a deep breath. But . . . he had to convince her to marry him first. Even if it took a mountain of guilt to do it. He studied her through narrow eyes. “Do you have any idea why I haven’t been able to sleep?”
She shook her head, more tears glinting in the glow of the streetlamp outside.
“Because my life is on hold, Bets. You see, you just don’t need me . . . I need you. I lie in that lonely bed night after night, knowing full well that I’m going to marry you sooner or later, no matter what you say.” He lifted her chin with a firm grip, his eyes burning with intent. “So because you’re too pigheaded to see the way it’s going to be, you lie there cold, and I lie there on hold, frustrated that I can’t love you the way that I want.”
Her lip began to quiver, and he pulled her to his chest, squeezing her tight while a smile edged his tone. “I love you, Galetti, and nothing has ever felt as right to me as this. So either you say yes and marry me now, or both of us are in for a lot of sleepless nights.”
A heave quivered from her lips. “B-but, Katie . . .”
His teeth ached as he clenched his jaw. “Katie, nothing. She’s in Boston engaged to Jack while you and I are here, about to have a baby.” He arched a brow, then slowly fondled her lip with his thumb, burning her with a smoky look he hoped would hasten his cause. “And I told you before, Galetti, I’m not going anywhere.” He fixed his gaze on her mouth. “So how long are you going to make me suffer?”
She collapsed against his chest with a broken sob, and he grinned, stroking her head with moisture in his eyes. “So . . . can I take that as a yes?”
“Oh, Luke . . .” Her voice wobbled with another doleful sob, prompting a chuckle from his lips.
She sniffed and swiped her face with the sleeve of her robe. There was a timid flicker of hope in those wet, sad eyes, and his heart skipped a beat. He’d been relentless – wearing her down with his proposals, day after day, night after night, hoping against hope that her emotional state of pregnancy would work in his favor. He knew he was taking advantage of her, what with the fragility of her moods, but he flat-out didn’t care. This was too important, and she was being way too stubborn. She blinked now, causing several tears to skitter down her cheek as he held his breath.
“Are you . . . sure?” she finally whispered.
He pulled away to study the woman he had loved more and longer than any woman alive. First as a sister on the streets of New York, then briefly as a lover before she became the friend he would do anything for. Tears stung his eyes. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life, Galetti,” he whispered.
With slow, careful movement, he pulled her close to brush his lips gently against hers, deepening the kiss until she moaned in his arms. She melted into his embrace, and he smiled, finally feeling his body relax. He burrowed his lips in the crook of her neck, breathing in deeply and enjoying her scent. He had no doubt a time would come when he would love her the way he should – religiously, faithfully, completely. Without another woman in his heart. Knew it as surely as he knew the power of prayer. And in his waking hours when dreams didn’t haunt, he could feel it too – every day when their bond became closer . . . and every night when he prayed their love could become one.
“Oh!” She twitched in his arms with a faint cry of surprise, and his hands shielded her belly, colliding with her fingers.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, his voice raspy with concern. She cupped his hands and guided them across her stomach, gently pressing his palm against a particular spot. “Can you feel it?” she breathed.
He closed his eyes and focused, holding his breath as he waited for movement. Nothing. He finally stroked her belly with a gentle hand. “No, Bets, what’d it feel like?”
“Like a butterfly fluttering or a goldfish swimming around.”
He fondled her earlobe with his fingers, giving her a wry smile. “Are you sure you’re not hungry?”
She smacked his hand and shimmied in close. “Of course I’m sure, you goose. It felt just like the last time – I remember the doctor called it quickening.” She blinked up at him with eyes full of wonder. “Oh, Luke, it’s really going to happen this time, isn’t it?”
Pulling her close, he kissed her on the nose. “You bet, Galetti – you’re going to be a bona fide mother.”
“And if you get your way, don’t forget you’ll be a bona fide father too.”
He chuckled and lifted a brow. “
If
I get my way? And how can I forget when this little guy keeps getting bigger every day?”
She jerked again, this time with a giggle. “Oh! Guess what he’s doing now?”
“What?” he said with a gentle stroke to her abdomen.
“Embracing the moment.”
He grinned in the dark. “Naturally.” His smile faded to soft as he bent to kiss her full on the mouth. “And guess what I’m doing,” he said, tugging her lip with the edge of his teeth.
“What?” she asked, her voice suddenly hoarse.
“The same.” He caressed her mouth again before feathering her throat with soft little kisses.
She giggled and buried her head in the curve of his neck. “You think so, huh, McGee?”
He pulled away to cup her chin in his hand, his eyes tender with affection. His voice was calm and sure . . . like his love for her. “I know so.”
Tears spilled as she blinked several times, and then she thrust herself into his arms so hard, she forced him back against the sofa with a chuckle in his throat. Hungry hands swept the length of his bare back while she nuzzled his mouth with her own. “Oh, Luke . . . I want you . . . I’ve always wanted you.”
Heat suddenly surged, driving every other thought from his mind but the taste of her lips. He kissed her hard, and she moaned in his arms, jarring his senses back to reality. He jolted up straight and held her at arm’s length, giving her the stern eye. “So, you’ll marry me, then?” he asked, wanting it etched in stone.
She nibbled at her lip and nodded. “Maybe.”
“No maybes, Galetti. You’re already committed, just like me, so you might as well warm up to the idea.” He kissed her again, hoping to help with the warming process. “When?”
Her breathing was erratic as she pushed away, indecision clouding her eyes. “I don’t know, in a few months, maybe. But definitely before the baby is born.”
His jaw shifted, tightening with the motion. “Nope, tomorrow.” She shook her head. “No, Luke, you need more time.”
Ignoring her comment, he eased her back to explore her throat with his mouth, finally nipping at her earlobe before whispering warm coercion in her ear. “Don’t make me wait, Galetti – I need you
now
.”
With a quivering hand to his chest, she studied his face a long, long time before a tentative nod finally signaled her consent. He watched as guilt worked its magic, dispelling her resistance with the soft exhale of a sigh. She caressed his scruffy jaw with the palm of her hand while a beautiful joy pooled in her eyes. “You’re the love of my life, McGee – yesterday, today, and forever.”
“Mine too, Bets,” he whispered, then bent to kiss her again.
Yesterday and forever.
For Katie, Christmas Eve had always been magical, but never more so than now. True, there would be fewer presents to open under the tree this year and an economy that put a strain on their dinner budget, but somehow it didn’t matter. Her father seemed his old self once again, teasing his wife that he could take the stairs two at a time if need be, while her mother glowed with the effervescent joy of family and faith.
Katie curled up on the love seat and drank in the sights and sounds before her, along with the eggnog in her hand. Adults laughed and played cards. Children giggled and played hide-and-seek. And all the while the tree shimmered with cone-shaped lights flickering like candles and tinsel swaying as children whisked by. The house was filled with the wonderful smells of Christmas – cinnamon from fresh-baked snickerdoodles and pine needles – while the family was filled with awe over the blessings they shared.