A Different Reflection (29 page)

“So you would rather live like this? Not have James at all in the real world and just live in a fairy tale? Jesus, snap out of it Kat, this is meant to be!” she whispered as she leant in closer.

“I'm scared!” I replied, and in usual Claire fashion she gave me an ultimatum.

“Right – this is how it is going to work. If you do not tell him by the end of your party on Saturday night, then I will!” she stated forcefully.

“You wouldn't!” I replied with concern.

“Oh, I would! I am not watching you carry on not being as happy as you could be just because you will not say three little words!” she finished. I gulped and then took a deep breath.

“You're right; I have to tell him. He has waited long enough. I am being selfish if I do not, aren't I?”

“Yep!” she nodded in reply, but smiling.

“Maybe my party is the best time; this torture started on his thirtieth birthday and if the spell breaks it will end at mine! Do you think it was meant to happen like this?” I asked her. She sat gawping at me.

“If you had asked me a couple of weeks ago, I would have slapped you myself for going crazy, but I've experienced this and it
is real,
Kat, and it
is happening
, and until you said that I had not realised… how amazing and right this is!” She grabbed my hand. “Why shouldn't this fairy tale have a happy ending?” I smiled at her and nodded.

“Saturday night it is then! If it doesn't work out, promise me that you will get me out of there to save my embarrassment?” I declared.

“Oh this is going to work… wake up, girl! With the compliments that he has been giving you, he must have feelings for you, and one of you has to be the brave one!” she laughed. We both sat and finished our sandwiches with the feeling that things were about to change.

When I arrived home that evening, I suddenly found myself being slightly coy around him. I kept thinking about how I felt about him, and then trying to be the normal Katharina that I had been, but I kept saying silly things. I went to the bathroom before we ate dinner and told myself to get a grip.
Act normal
, I said to myself, and then I shook my head, took a deep breath and went back downstairs, but whatever I did I could not take the huge grin off my face. James and I laughed about things, taunted each other and complimented each other, and George either joined in or said nothing. They asked me about my choice of dress for the party and I confirmed that Claire and I were shopping tomorrow and Wednesday. The days were busy and I craved the evenings; I knew that Saturday would be here before I knew it, and that gave me a butterflies-in-a-tornado feeling in my stomach!

By Wednesday lunchtime I had tried on twelve dresses. I had only ever invested in one ball gown, but it was so out of date that I would probably never wear it again. I wanted something elegant, sophisticated and drop-dead gorgeous – and of course it had to make me look at least one dress size smaller. I was getting slightly disillusioned until Claire suggested that we went to Harvey Nichols, and as we walked in I sincerely wished that we hadn't! We walked into the evening dresses section and almost died and went to heaven; Donna Karan, Moschino, Alexander McQueen, Marchesa and Catherine Deane all jostled for space. Claire's eyes lit up and before I knew it we had four exceptional dresses to try on. One of them was a deep scarlet red and when Claire zipped me up and stepped back, I knew it was the one. She stood and raised her hands to her mouth and fought back a tear.

“Oh my God, you look amazing. You have to get it!” she said, and when I turned and looked in the mirror I gasped – it was amazing, and I couldn't think of anything else that I would rather have. So after trying not to fall over after glancing at the price tag – particularly when I needed to pay for the caterers, etc – I had the assistant bag up the dress and we carried it back to work. Luckily I had fairly new shoes and a bag from LK Bennett which were more than adequate to pair with the dress.

When I got off the train that evening, George looked surprised at the large dress bag that I carried with me. He immediately took it from me, placing it in the boot of the car. We jumped into the seats and then set off home.

“So shopping was constructive, it would seem?” he smiled.

“Oh George, it really is the most beautiful dress. It cost me an arm and a leg, but I want to look perfect on Saturday – as I want it to be one of the biggest days of my life, I hope!” I replied. He looked at me curiously.

“How so?” he asked, and I wondered for a minute whether I should say anything to him, then decided that he may be able to give me a better picture of how I stood with James.

“George, if I tell you something, can you keep it a secret for now?” I asked. He continued driving but looked at me twice, realising that I was serious, before saying:

“Of course. I swear that I will not breathe one word to anyone. What troubles you, Katharina?” he asked. I smiled.

“I am not troubled, George. I am more certain of something than I have ever been and it makes me very happy!” I replied.

“Well, you certainly have my undivided attention Katharina. Please do not make me wait any longer!” he replied. I took a deep breath.

“I have known for some time really, but it was only when Claire made me confront my feelings that I embraced the fact that spending time with you both has made me happier than I ever expected to feel,” I started. George looked at me and realised that I was trying to say more. He reached across and squeezed my hand in reassurance and then said:

“Katharina, you know you can talk to me about anything!” he reinforced as he smiled encouragingly. I nodded, took a deep breath and said:

“I am in love with James!” I blurted it out before I changed my mind. George in turn started to laugh warmly and then squeezed my hand some more.

“Yes, I know!” he simply said. Then he controlled himself and carried on. “I realised a few days ago, but I wondered how long it would take you to confess to it! This is better news than I could have ever hoped for, and yet you seem slightly apprehensive about your confession?” he replied.

“I am worried that he will not believe me, or worse still he does not feel the same way. What if he laughs in my face and tells me that I am being ridiculous?” I asked. “I mean, I have not been too successful in my past experiences of love, have I?”

“Oh my dear, that will not happen! Anyway he has strong feelings for you, of that I am certain, and you can never compare one relationship to another! Are you planning on telling him soon?” he asked hopefully.

“Yes, at my party – it seems the right time and that is why I want it to be perfect!” I replied.

“Ah, today is the best day that I have had in a very long time. You make me extremely happy, Katharina, and I promise that I will say nothing until you have told him yourself. I feel that Saturday could be a very fulfilling day for all three of us!” George replied. “Stop worrying my dear, I know that everything will turn out the way you hope for!”

“I really hope so George, and if he does believe my feelings of love toward him, then the spell will be broken and both of you can end this torture and live your lives like everyone else!” I smiled.

“I cannot tell you how relieved that makes me feel! You were indeed sent to us from above; and quite possibly are an angel, Katharina!” he stated with emotion, and I squeezed his hand for a moment. I had not really registered how much it would mean to George to be able to live normally and grow old like anyone else. He had spent so long thinking that it would never happen, it was sure to make him a little nervous!

George smiled all the way home and I dreamed of how it would all turn out on Saturday. As we turned down the driveway I had butterflies circling my stomach and I took three deep breaths. George stopped the car and turned to me.

“Stop worrying; this is all going to fall perfectly into place and I know that James will be so very happy that you have feelings for him, as I know that he certainly does you!”

“What? Has he said something to you before?” I asked, curious that I had been mentioned.

“Many times; our conversations that last into the early hours now usually revolve around you. He cannot praise you enough in word and thought and deed. I was merely unsure that you had any feelings for him, until I saw the way that you acted at the weekend and during the week preceding that. It is good that you are able to confirm your love; I could not think of a better match for both you and James!” he finished. I sat and thought for a moment.

“I never realised that he felt that way I mean, I often wondered, but I always thought that I was not good enough to deserve someone like him!” I replied, and then George stopped me.

“Do not ever say that, Katharina!
He
does not deserve
you
!” George kindly stated. I smiled.

“How do I behave now? I am sure he will guess that something is going on!” I asked.

“We will help each other!” he replied as he climbed out of the car. I checked myself in the mirror whilst George walked around to my side of the car and opened the door.

He held out his hand to help me down from my seat and then we wandered to the back of the car to retrieve my dress and workbag. As we walked to the top of the front stairs, we simply looked at each other and nodded, and then entered the house as we always would – chatting about my day.

“Good evening!” James said happily.

“Good evening James, are you well?” I asked.

“Quite well, and you?” he enquired. I smiled and looked at George, who was laying my dress bag across a long sofa in the hallway, and then replied:

“I am very well thank you,” as I started to take off my coat.

“It looks as though you have chosen your dress – I take it you had a very constructive day?” he asked.

“I have, in more ways than one!” I replied and George then shot me a look that said ‘be careful or you will have to explain that further' and so I changed the subject. “I am starving tonight, shall I make dinner?” I asked as I started walking toward George's kitchen. They followed as George said: “Already done, it is in the oven!”

“Really George, you do spoil me!” I commented. He was simple in his reply.

“You deserve to be well looked after!” I smiled.

Dinner was delicious again, and it was a most enjoyable start to the evening. I caught myself swooning at James on a couple of occasions. At one point I noticed him stare at me for a long time, and then I suddenly realised that I hadn't heard a question he was asking, which was why he was looking at me for a response. George had to turn away so that he didn't show his amusement. I quickly answered, snapping myself out of the daze; and realising that George had noticed, I tried to correct my behaviour. After dinner I carried my dress bag upstairs and glanced again at the gorgeous gown that I had purchased. It was the most beautiful thing that I had ever bought – well, apart from Northfield. I changed out of my work things and then placed the dress in the wardrobe, and as I straightened the bag after hanging it James knocked lightly and then coughed.

“Yes James?” I asked as he nervously looked up at me.

“I simply came to tell you that we have made tea and retreated to the drawing room,” he informed me.

“I shall join you shortly. I was just hanging up my dress!” I then replied, leaning against the wardrobe door to close it.

“It seems that you are very happy with your purchase!” he then gestured at my large smile.

“I am very happy, but there is absolutely no peeking allowed until Saturday night!” I then pointed out to him.

“I have every belief that you will be a vision on Saturday; I do not wish to spoil that image for myself by looking before then. You have my word that I will not peek at all!” he then said with a slight smile. I nodded in acknowledgement and then suggested that we join George.

I was relaxed as I had changed into my joggers before James had appeared, and as I walked barefoot down the corridor whilst talking to him, we laughed about the expectations we had of my party and the guests that would be attending. He asked if all of the women who had been here under my invitation to try and help him would be attending, and I confirmed that they would, hoping this would not make him feel anxious. He then asked how many guests in total had accepted the invitation, and I now had eighty-five that had given me a definite yes. James raised his eyebrows with surprise; maybe he had thought that I was only going to invite twenty and keep it a small affair.

“Are you sure that it is alright, me having so many?” I asked.

“Of course, you may ask whoever you wish. If you are happy I am happy!” he simply said.

By the time we reached George in the drawing room, he had poured us all tea and had a plate of freshly baked cookies beside the teapot that he handed to me as I sat. I picked up a new book that I had selected from the library and started to read. It did not matter how much I tried to focus, though, I was too distracted; I re-read the same passage about five times before I gave up and put the book down. I had glanced up at James numerous times, he was reading quietly and George had simply looked back at me twice and smiled on both occasions. I studied the room for a while and then decided to go for a walk to the long room with the portraits. I wanted to study them in greater detail; it would be the perfect opportunity to ask questions about the people they had known. I took my mug, refilled it, excused myself and wandered through the quiet house.

I walked slowly around the room, starting with the portrait of James, which had me smiling in an instant. As I walked around to the first one, which I remember being Edward Montgomery – the man who had the vision to start the build of Northfield – I looked closely at him and grimaced a little, then took a sip of my tea.

“Quite a daunting character, is he not?” James suddenly asked me. I smiled at the fact that he had come to find me, and I wondered if it was under George's instruction.