Authors: Amanda Weaver
“But what about you? Do you think Radwill will make you happy?”
“My happiness has never been much of a factor.”
“But—”
“And I suppose you’re pursuing Julia Harrow because she’ll make you the happiest of men?”
“That’s different. It’s business.”
“So is this, Nate.”
He hated the note of apathy in her voice. She was resigned, defeated, as if her life was already over, her future already settled. She was packing herself up for that dreary Radwill like a suitcase full of old clothes. “This isn’t the Amelia I know. The girl I knew would fight for what she wanted.”
He couldn’t see her clearly, but he could sense her. He could feel her temper when it flared to life. The air around her nearly crackled with it.
“This
is
me fighting, Nate. I could sit back and let my father pick for me and find myself married to someone like Cheadle or worse. Some nasty, desperate wretch who can’t stand me but needs my money. Or I can act and choose for myself. Radwill may not please you, but I don’t care. I don’t recall asking for your approval.”
“Well, good, because I
don’t
approve.”
Amelia growled in frustration, a wild sound, waking something animal in him. She was too close, too warm, too vibrant.
She shoved his arm. “I don’t approve of you either. Pursuing that nice Julia Harrow because you want to do business with her father. Don’t you dare judge me, Nate. You’re no better than me.”
He hated himself before he even reached for her, but it didn’t stop him. “Apparently not,” he murmured, and then he hauled her up against him and kissed her.
Because she was Amelia, there were more heated words on the tip of her tongue, but she let them go in a breathy moan. He slid his fingers into her hair, cupping the back of her head and holding her still as he plundered her lush, warm mouth. She grasped at his upper arms, then his shoulders before sliding her hands into his hair, too.
In the heated, close darkness, the kiss spiraled on. It became more kisses. He left her mouth to kiss her cheek, her neck, the hollow at the base of her throat. Her head fell back and her chest heaved as her breathing grew ragged. His hand found her breast as he scraped her collarbone with his teeth. Grasping his hair, she wrenched his head back up to kiss him again.
“Amelia, we should stop,” he groaned against her mouth. “Someone could come.”
“No one has yet.”
“We shouldn’t...”
“No one has to know. Please.”
Her whispered “please” threatened to undo him. And when she swung her leg across his and straddled his lap, he knew he was a lost man. How could he possibly tell her no? Not when she was pressed against him, so hot and eager. Perhaps in the light of day, perhaps if they were in a library or parlor or garden...perhaps he’d have been able to think clearly and set her aside.
But they weren’t. They were hidden away in this forgotten, dark corner. She was astride him, hands in his hair, hot breath brushing his lips, thighs clenched on either side of his, and there was no way on earth or in heaven he could resist her.
He crushed her mouth under his again, reaching down and finding the hem of her dress. So many layers of skirt and petticoat, but he found her ankle underneath it all and slid his hand up around her curvy leg. He was hard and aching for her. It would be so easy to push this silken pile of fabric up to her waist and settle her over him, to plunge into her softness and hold her there until this maddening lust was slaked.
It was impossible. He couldn’t ruin her that way. But this... kissing her and touching her for another moment. Perhaps they could go a little further without disaster. He found the edge of her stocking, her garters and her bare thigh above it, and then her powder-soft skin.
Her hands raced over his arms and chest, sliding under his tailcoat and lower, across his abdomen. Cursing himself, cursing his weakness and certain he was doomed to hell, he grasped her wrist and pressed her palm right to his cock where it strained against the fly of his trousers.
“Oh...” she sighed, and her fingers tentatively stroked the long ridge of him. “I’ve never...”
A ragged groan ripped from his throat and his head fell back. “Amelia...”
“It’s so... Oh.” Her hand gripped him tentatively.
“Harder,” he growled. She pressed more firmly. “Harder.” She squeezed and he thought he might explode. “Yes. Good God, yes.” Holding her face close to his, he gasped for air as she did her best to touch him through his clothes. “I want you so badly.”
“Tell me,” she whispered.
His other hand was still on her thigh, stroking, sliding higher.
“I want to put my mouth on you.”
She moaned, writhing in his grip. “Yes.”
Dragging his lips down her cheek and across her throat, he nipped at her collarbone before descending lower. The swells of her breasts were smooth under his tongue, and she shivered as he traced a path across them with his mouth.
Amelia’s questing fingers slid across the rigid swell of him—gripped and stroked as best she could through the fabric. Perhaps he could unbutton a few buttons and slide her hand inside. She’d touch him—he was sure she would. Amelia was no timid girl. She was vibrant and sensual and ready for him. Already his fingertips were brushing the crease at the top of her thigh. A few more inches and he could find her center, touch her until she came apart in his arms. He groaned again imagining it. Amelia rocked herself against him. He couldn’t deny himself or her any longer. He had to...
“I’m certain she didn’t come
this
far, Mr. Cheadle!”
They froze, mouths inches apart, Amelia’s gasp fluttering across his lips. Her eyes were wide and frightened in the dark. He pushed her off his lap. “Put yourself to rights. I’ll take care of it.”
She nodded wordlessly and tucked herself back into the corner, smoothing her hair as best as she could without a mirror. Nate stood and winced, grateful for the low ceiling requiring him to bend over. It helped disguise the painful bulge in his trousers. Never had he been this hard and this frustrated. He ran his hand over his hair, straightened his tailcoat and made his way back to the little hidden door. Releasing the latch, he opened it a crack and saw Cheadle and Julia looking about the entry hall.
“In here before you bring the whole party after you,” he whispered.
Julia spun around. “Oh, Mr. Smythe! You frightened me. Look, Mr. Cheadle, Mr. Smythe has found Amelia. What a clever hiding place.”
Cheadle eyed Nate and ran a finger over his thin moustache. “Indeed. Very clever. So well concealed.”
They both ducked inside the cupboard under the stairs.
“It’s quite dark, isn’t it?”
“Back here, Julia,” Amelia called, sounding completely calm, almost bored, in fact. “Keep your voice down or they’ll hear you on the stairs.”
“Who else has found you?”
“No one. Just Mr. Smythe so far. I think I hid too well. It’s been exceedingly tedious waiting for you all.”
“I see. Well, won’t we be snug as we wait?”
“Terribly snug,” Cheadle drawled. “How on earth did you find her, Smythe?”
“I looked for her, as you did. I suppose I was quicker about it.”
“Seems like you were.”
Nate bristled at the implication in his tone that they’d been up to something, but if he commented on it, it would only make it seem true. Especially as it
was
true. It seemed impossible to believe now, with he and Cheadle stooping by the door and Amelia and Julia engaged in polite, whispered conversation in the corner, but moments ago, he’d nearly taken her. He’d been about to unbutton his trousers and show Amelia how to touch him. Where would it have stopped? It wouldn’t have. The way they’d been tearing at each other, they wouldn’t have stopped until it was done.
He was appalled at his own behavior. It was exactly what all these noble toffs expected of him. And the kind of thing he could not, under any circumstances, ever indulge in again, no matter how dizzy with lust Amelia made him.
Moments later, Kitty Ponsoy and Radwill found them and tumbled in.
Radwill wasted no time squeezing himself into the corner with Julia and Amelia.
“Miss Wheeler, you’re a genius!” Radwill exclaimed. “I thought we’d never find you. I confess we only managed because we were following Lady Julia’s voice and it cut off rather abruptly. I felt sure she must have secreted herself somewhere nearby.”
“What remarkably clever thinking, Lord Radwill,” Amelia said. “I’d have never figured that out.”
“You do yourself a disservice, Miss Wheeler. You’re quite intelligent. Anyone can see as much.”
“You’re very kind,” she demurred. Nate wanted to stomp back there and drag her away from Radwill. How could she sound so pleasant and at ease when not ten minutes earlier, she’d been writhing in his arms? She hardly sounded like the same girl.
He became distracted by her breathy giggle at some remark Radwill had made, and nearly missed Kitty sidling up to him in the dark.
“My, we are all cramped, aren’t we?” she tittered.
“I suppose that’s the idea.” Nate had lost all patience for this foolish game.
“If anyone else finds us, I’m afraid we’ll have to squash right against each other, won’t we?” Kitty said with far too much glee.
“Well, let’s hope the rest have joined together and find us all at once.”
Evelyn arrived with Tony next. There was so much giggling and whispered admonitions to keep quiet, Nate wasn’t sure how the whole house hadn’t found them yet. And even though they weren’t required to stand so close, he found Kitty pressed against his chest in the dark.
“Oh dear, how shocking,” she breathed, not sounding the least bit shocked or dismayed. All he needed was a curious young miss looking to experience a little danger with an inappropriate man. Lord, how he hated it when Society women treated him as some forbidden delight. He had no intention of giving Kitty Ponsoy a taste of seduction, no matter how the chit threw herself at him.
“There, there, Miss Ponsoy,” he murmured, taking her by the shoulders and setting her away from him. “It’s not as bad as all that.”
“Well,” she huffed, and he sensed her angry embarrassment even in the dark. “I do hope we won’t be trapped in here all night,” she said, loud enough for the others to hear her.
It seemed to take forever, but finally the last hunters stumbled into the now-overheated little room under the stairs and the sardines stumbled out into the entryway amid general sighs of relief and titters of laughter. Noting the flushed cheeks and disordered hair of many, Nate suspected he and Amelia weren’t the only two guests who’d taken advantage of a dark house and a moment of solitude.
Evelyn clapped her hands together. “Now, let’s go back to the parlor for a bit of dancing!”
Many of the young people voiced their delight in the plan. Nate meant to hang back and speak with Amelia in the general rush back to the parlor, but in moments, Cheadle was back at her side. “Miss Wheeler, you must allow me to claim the first dance.”
“I thank you, Mr. Cheadle, but I’m afraid being cooped up for such a long time in such a close space has given me the most frightful headache. Please give my apologies to Evelyn, but I’m going up to bed.”
“Oh, I am sorry, Miss Wheeler,” Radwill said, reaching out to touch her elbow. “Perhaps an early night is best.”
“I think it may be. Thank you. I’ll see you in the morning?”
“Without a doubt,” he said, giving her a warm smile.
There was no chance to speak to her, and he had no idea yet what he’d say. Perhaps tomorrow he’d find a minute alone to apologize for what had happened. Her eyes caught his, but he couldn’t read anything in her expression. A moment later, she’d fled up the stairs to her room.
Chapter Ten
Amelia stopped outside the breakfast room to check her reflection in a hall mirror one more time. All her examinations upstairs had told her none of the preceding night’s events showed on her face, but it was hard to believe when everything inside her felt thoroughly shaken up.
Every time she closed her eyes, she was back in the understairs storeroom, straddling Nate’s lap, kissing him, his hand under her skirt, her hand on his...
Her eyes popped open. Her own shocked, slightly flushed face stared back from the glass. Good heavens. How on earth would she carry on as if everything was fine? Her eyes were bright, her skin suffused with pink, her lips still looked bitten. Surely everyone would know as soon as they set eyes on her. No wonder she never fit in with all these sweet Society misses. They’d no doubt be scandalized to know that last night she’d been astride a gentleman, letting him take obscene liberties with her body, about to take obscene liberties with his. She was only sorry they’d been interrupted, because it seemed like whatever came next promised to be even better. Incorrigible. Everyone was right about her.
“Good morning, Amelia. Have you lost something?”
She spun around to find Julia watching her from a few feet away.
“Lost something? No, why?”
“You looked puzzled.” Somewhere in the depths of Julia’s deep blue eyes, Amelia imagined she saw a hint of a smile, as if she was barely restraining a knowing little wink, which was ridiculous. What did Julia know about anything? She seemed quite uninvolved in the tiny dramas unfolding at this house party.
“No, I haven’t lost anything.”
Except nearly my virginity...
“Have you had breakfast yet?”
“No, I’m going in now. Would you care to join me?”
Yes, some polite conversation with Julia—that was what she needed to cool her blood. They could discuss the weather over kippers and eggs. Surely it would banish Nate and his hands and that magnificent bulge in his trousers from her mind forever. It was worth a try, anyway.
She braced herself to face Nate, but it proved unnecessary, as he hadn’t come down for breakfast yet. Unfortunately, Mr. Cheadle had, and he seemed to be lying in wait for her.
“My dear Miss Wheeler, I hope you’re feeling improved this morning.”
“Improved?”
“Yes, the headache that robbed us of your presence for the rest of the evening yesterday?”
“Oh right... I’m quite recovered, thank you.” She kept her eyes on the sideboard as she filled her plate with food she had no interest in eating.
“What a great relief. What are your plans today?”
“Yesterday, some of the ladies had discussed taking a walk and I thought I might join them.” When she reached the table, Cheadle pulled out her chair for her before a footman could, and settled into the vacant seat next to her.
“I was hoping you might wish to remain behind at the house here with me.” He leaned toward her and his voice dropped to what he must have thought was an intimate, suggestive register. The man’s persistence was astounding.
“I don’t think—”
“Mr. Cheadle?”
They both turned to see the butler standing inside the door to the breakfast room.
“A gentleman has arrived asking to see you.”
Cheadle looked exasperated. “A gentleman to see me? Who? What’s his name?”
“He said his name was Mr. Morley, sir. He said you would know him. Shall I see him in?”
The change that overcame Mr. Cheadle was remarkable. His already wan complexion turned ghostly and gray, and his beady eyes went wide with shock. He clenched and unclenched his hands, his jaw working as he formulated a response. “Er... um, yes. I do know the gentleman. Please tell him I’ll be there in a moment.”
“Very good, sir. I’ll show him into the green parlor.”
“Thank you. I’ll be right in.”
“Is everything all right, Mr. Cheadle? You look rather unwell.”
Cheadle gave her a sickly smile. “I’m quite well, Miss Wheeler. Only a bit of—”
“Oh, Mr. Cheadle!” Evelyn sang as she entered the room. “There you are! Why didn’t you tell me you had a good friend visiting the neighborhood?”
If possible, Cheadle looked worse. “I, ah—”
“I’ve run into your Mr. Morley being shown in. I convinced Mother to invite him to stay.”
“You invited him—”
“The more, the merrier, right?” Evelyn chattered on, oblivious to Cheadle’s discomfort. “Plus, since Aunt Sylvia and Aunt Candace arrived, we’re a bit unbalanced at dinner. Another gentleman will even out our numbers.”
“Oh, dear God....” Cheadle pushed past Evelyn and fled from the room.
She turned back to Amelia. “I say, that was rather rude. I thought it was quite magnanimous on my part, getting Mother to invite his friend to stay.”
“Indeed.” Amelia watched Cheadle disappear in confusion.
Evelyn’s voice dropped to a stage whisper. “Especially as the gentleman didn’t seem precisely a
gentleman
, if you know what I mean.”
Amelia didn’t reply. Cheadle’s abrupt departure was so
odd
. In her distraction, she nearly missed Nate coming into breakfast and seating himself in Cheadle’s abandoned chair.
“Good morning, Miss Wheeler. Are you feeling better?”
“What?”
“Your headache. You went up early last night. Are you better today?”
“Oh, that. Of course I am.”
“Amelia,” he began, but Amelia was still too curious about Cheadle’s strange behavior.
“Did you see Mr. Cheadle leave? It was so odd.”
“I would have thought you’d be pleased to see him go.”
“Oh, I am, but it was the most peculiar thing. The butler came to tell him a friend of his was here to see him, but you’d have thought Cheadle just heard the worst news of his life. He turned quite pale and nearly ran from the room.”
Nate shrugged. “I suppose it’s his business.”
“But aren’t you the least bit curious about who came to see him?”
“It isn’t polite to pry.”
Amelia rolled her eyes. “Well, it wasn’t exactly polite of him to accost me last night during blind man’s bluff, so he owes me.”
“I’m sure you’ll be able to satisfy your curiosity soon enough. Didn’t I hear Evelyn say she’d invited the man to stay?”
“Hmm, I suppose so.”
“What are you up to today?”
“I believe I’m walking to something called the Devil’s Kneading Trough with the ladies.”
“What on earth is the Devil’s Kneading Trough?”
“I have no idea but it sounds delicious, doesn’t it? Besides, I need to get as far away from this house as possible if Cheadle’s in it.” Amelia drew a deep breath before continuing. There was nothing to be done but proceed as if everything was normal. Time to stuff herself back into a facade of proper behavior for another day. “Julia’s coming. You might as well come, too.”
Nate scowled. “Thank you for your concern, but I don’t need you arranging my affairs.”
“Seeing as you managed to end up in the cupboard with me instead of her last night, I’m not so sure about that.” Well. She’d failed already. Mentioning it again was most certainly
not
proper.
Nate’s mouth dropped open in momentary shock before he recovered himself. He smoothed one hand down his tie. “Listen, Amelia...”
That sounded like the beginning of a
speech
. Probably something about how last night was a mistake and they shouldn’t have, etc., etc. Listening to him explain it all away would be ghastly. It was the most exciting, liberating thing she’d ever done. The last thing she wanted was to hear him tell her how wrong it had been, and how much he regretted it.
She held up a hand to cut him off. “There’s no need, Nate. There’s nothing at all to discuss. Now come along on our walk and keep Julia company. And be a dear and invite Radwill for me, would you?” The words hurt a bit coming out, as did her flippant tone, but it was for the best.
He stared at her a moment, his jaw tight. Then he let out a weary sigh. “Of course. It sounds like a delightful morning.”
It sounded like anything but delightful, but Amelia resolutely kept her eyes away from Nate’s face and fixed on the door. She wanted to see Radwill as soon as he entered.
It wasn’t Radwill who appeared next, but Tony Batchelder, along with Kitty. Kitty was laughing loudly at something Tony had said.
“Oh, Tony, you’re such a card!”
Evelyn glared daggers at Kitty for a moment before her expression cleared and she called out to them. “Oh, Tony, I’m so glad you’ve come down. I had another thought about our discussion last night. Come sit down and let me tell you.”
Tony smiled and moved toward Evelyn like a cat on the prowl. Amelia hadn’t missed the marked attention Evelyn had been paying Tony, or the fact they were together and a bit flushed when they’d discovered her last night during sardines. It seemed as if Evelyn might be playing a dangerous game. But then again, she was the one who was nearly ruined in the understairs storeroom last night. Perhaps it wasn’t her place to judge. No doubt Evelyn could take care of herself.
* * *
She was still poking at a plate of eggs and kippers, waiting for Radwill to come down,
not
looking at Nate and Julia, when her father made his appearance in the breakfast room.
“Amelia, a word in the parlor, please?”
“Of course, Papa.” She rose to her feet and followed him out. He closed the door behind her as she entered the parlor.
“What is it? Has something happened to Mother?”
“No, no, she’s quite well. I’ve been called back to London to deal with some business that can’t wait. I’m afraid I need to catch the train this morning.”
“Oh.” What an unexpected relief. She could avoid a betrothal for a little while longer through no fault of her own, and she was freed from this awful house party. There was only one thing to regret and that was the loss of Nate’s daily presence. “I’ll go up and have Fantine pack my things.”
“No need. I’ve spoken to Lord Tewsbury and he and his wife are happy to act as your chaperones in my absence.”
“They have?” Her sense of relief fled as quickly as it had come. Considering the rather risqué game of sardines their daughter had instigated the night before, she had her doubts about the efficacy of Lord and Lady Tewsbury as anybody’s chaperones. “How kind of them.”
“It is, indeed. And I don’t think I need to explain to you the great honor they do you to extend such a courtesy.”
“Of course not, Papa.”
“In return for such kindness, I expect you to behave with the utmost propriety, do you understand me?”
“Haven’t I done well so far?” He didn’t know about her scandalous lapse last night under the stairs, but no one else did, either, so for all intents and purposes, it hadn’t happened. Besides, it wouldn’t happen again. She was resolved. And this time she meant it.
“You have, you have.” Mr. Wheeler stroked one of his sideburns. “I’ve noticed Lord Radwill paying you some particular attention.”
“Yes, I’ve noticed, too.”
“It’s quite promising. He’s a man you should encourage, Amelia.”
“I have been.”
“Which is why I’m leaving you here alone, against my better judgment. It would be a shame to cut short anything that might be developing on that front.”
“A terrible shame.”
“But understand me, Amelia. I want no tales of reckless behavior to reach me in London.”
“Of course not, Papa.”
“And you’re to steer clear of that Smythe upstart.”
She bit the inside of her lip to hold back a sharp retort. Nate was no more of an upstart than Josiah Wheeler himself. Her father was only a bit farther down the road than Nate.
“Nate has no interest in me, Papa. He’s quite infatuated with Lady Julia Harrow.” It hurt to say it.
Her father snorted in derision. “As if Lord Hyde would allow that dock rat anywhere near his daughter.”
“He’s a respected businessman now. Julia’s quite impressed with him.”
“He can’t possibly think to aspire to an earl’s daughter. He’s reaching too high.”
She should have left it alone, but once her temper was stirred, it was impossible to hold her tongue. “Why not? I am.”
“That’s a different thing and you know it.”
“Because the fortune you earned is twenty years older than Nate’s? He’s got as much right to pursue Lady Julia as I’ve got to pursue Lord Radwill.” What perverse fit of pique had her championing Nate’s relationship with Julia? She wanted to tear out her own tongue.
He harrumphed. “Well, I suppose it’s between Smythe and the girl’s father. As long as he’s not pursuing you.”
“I can assure you, Papa, Mr. Smythe doesn’t have the slightest interest in me as a wife.”
He may want to bed me
,
but that’s an altogether different thing.
“I understand what I’m meant to do and I won’t disappoint you.”
“All right, I need to be off to catch the eleven o’clock train.”
“Give Mama my love and tell her I miss her.”
“I will. In truth, I’ll be glad to be with her again. Leaving her alone in London doesn’t sit well with me.”
“Nor me. Tell her I’ll be home soon. Safe travels, Papa.”
She followed him out into the entry hall and obediently received his farewell kiss on her cheek. “Make me proud, Amelia,” he said, tugging on his gloves.
“I do always try to.”
He clucked her under the chin before he donned his hat. “Come home with some good news for your mother and me. That will make us proud.”
He ascended into the carriage and she watched as it disappeared down the drive, wishing there was some way to make them proud that wouldn’t cost her every moment of her future happiness.
* * *
The walk to the Devil’s Kneading Trough was much longer than Evelyn had led them to believe. It took the whole of the morning to reach it, through a multitude of small villages and across several endless Downs. Evelyn kept up her high spirits the whole way, frequently exclaiming about all the fun they were having and insisting everyone agree with her. With Kitty, Will and Tony making such a boisterous group around her, she didn’t notice the lack of enthusiasm among the rest of her guests.
Lord Radwill had fallen into step beside Amelia only a half mile into the walk, and they had a pleasant, if unexciting conversation about the farming in Kent. When she glanced behind herself, she saw Nate walking alongside Julia, nearly towering over her small frame. Amelia faced front and resolved to forget him entirely.