A Beautiful Fall (29 page)

I would not have chosen
The road you have taken
It has left us miles apart.
But I think I can still find
The will to keep goin’
Somewhere in my broken heart.

—B
ILLY
D
EAN

“Somewhere in My Broken Heart”

The meeting with Northeast Federal started promptly at eleven thirty a.m. It paused briefly at one thirty so people could take a bathroom break and the caterer could sneak deli sandwiches into the boardroom. In attendance from Northeast Federal was an attorney from their in-house general counsel, the senior VP of corporate relations, the VP of product operations, and a woman who took notes in shorthand and with a tape recorder. Representing the firm were Robert, Emma, and two associate attorneys.

At five thirty, the meeting dispersed and Adler, McCormick & Madison had successfully added a new corporate client to their active roster. Northeast Federal wouldn’t sign the contract until they were confident in the attorney chosen to represent them as lead counsel in court. Robert assured them it would be Emma.

“Emma, let’s you and I plan to have dinner in my office,” Robert told her after the clients left. “Let’s take a twenty-minute break. I’ll have Sue order in dinner from that Italian place over on Hanover Street.”

Emma returned to her office, closed the door, and crashed on the sofa. The meeting had been grueling. She’d been in countless long meetings before, it was practically her life, but this one had seemed interminable. Maybe her stamina for long, intense exchanges had atrophied over the previous ten days.

She missed her friends in Juneberry. She wanted to know how they were doing. Samantha and Jim with their newborn baby. Christina and Bo and when he’d be released from the hospital. Michael—their last conversation hadn’t resolved anything. Her father—spending his first day alone in the house. She hoped he wasn’t moving the new office furniture around by himself, trying to decide where it all should go.

Emma got up from the leather sofa and pulled herself to her desk. She wanted to hear a voice from home more than she needed a twenty-minute nap.

“Hi, Christina.”

“Well, how nice. A phone call from my old friend, Emma Madison. What are you up to, girl?”

“I’m sitting in my office on the twenty-sixth floor looking out at a very dreary Boston skyline.”

“Sounds cold. Hey, did you make it back okay?”

“Yes, unfortunately,” Emma joked. “I’m only half kidding. It’s been a long day and I’m missing all of you terribly.”

“Aww …”

“Last week was incredible, Christina.”

“I know. Samantha and I were just talking about it. We tried to put it into words, but there’s no way.”

“How’s Bo doing?”

“He’s doing pretty good. He was released this afternoon and I’ve got him staying in my guest room so I can keep an eye on him.” Christina laughed. “Poor guy. He doesn’t know what to do with all this attention.”

Emma smiled. “So you got everything you wanted?”

“Well, officially, people aren’t supposed to say things like that out loud, but yes, yes I did.

“Have you guys set a date yet?”

“November 17. The week before Thanksgiving.”

Emma marveled at what she’d witnessed with her own eyes. Christina was such an amazing woman. She’d longed to marry the love of her life, and then suddenly found herself longing just for him to live. She got both.

“You have the perfect life, Christina. I envy you.”

“Don’t envy me, Emma. You could have it too.”

Emma turned in her chair and looked out through the narrow glass window that ran the length of her office door. Robert returned from the break room carrying a mug of coffee. His reading glasses were still on his face. He paused to look through her door window—the lights were off—then checked his watch before going back into his office.

“Just tell me where to sign up,” Emma said.

“Emma, you can live your life any way you want, but don’t make choices and then play the role of suffering martyr,” she said. “Hey, do you have a second that I can tell you something?”

“Sure, go ahead.”

“On the subject of having a perfect life, I’m compelled to tell you it’s faith that’s given mine all its meaning and worth. We didn’t really talk about it much while you were here, but I believe my faith in Jesus Christ is the reason for
everything
good that’s happened in my life. It’s something I grew up with in a Christian home, but it’s also something I tested in college and for some time after. Faith in Christ is wonderful, Emma, and it’s something I want for you.”

“You’re the second person who’s told me that today,” she said.

“Noel?”

“Yes, he’s really something,” Emma said, remembering their conversation in the truck that morning. “Well, I’m just trying to get through today right now. I’ve got to run to another meeting, but if you talk to Sam tonight, will you tell her I’m thinking about her?”

“Sure. I love you, Emma.”

“I love you, too.”

Emma hung up the phone and glanced at the clock on the wall. She walked into the office gallery. Susan turned the corner on her way to Robert’s office.

“Oh, Emma. There you are. Would you tell Robert that dinner will be delivered in about forty-five minutes? They know to ring the outside door when they get here.”

“Are you heading home?” Emma asked.

“Uh-huh. Nine to six, that’s my day. I think some of the associates are working late tonight, but I’ve got to drive home to Peabody before the snow, then my husband’s taking me to dinner. It’s our anniversary.”

“Oh, congratulations. That’s wonderful.”

“Twenty-four years and still going strong,” Susan said, crossing her fingers, and making her way to the front door a few steps at a time.

“Have a great night.”

“Thanks, you do the same.”

“Did you say ‘snow’?” Emma called out to Susan, just before she passed through the glass doors.

“That’s what they’re calling for.”

Emma entered Robert’s office rubbing her forehead. Both her mind and body ached. He was sitting at his desk with notes from the NF meeting opened in front of him.

“Dinner should be here in forty minutes or so,” she said.

“That sounds fine. Come on in, sit down.”

Emma took the same seat she had hours earlier, though the mood in the office was different. This morning Robert had been the senior partner, the competitive bulldog who would fight anybody who challenged the firm he’d established nearly forty years before. The NF meeting had gone well, and that mellowed him a bit. He looked reflective, relaxed, and, Emma thought, a little fatherly.

“You were great today, Emma. That’s what I mean by teamwork,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “You can do what no one else in this firm can do, and that’s connect with people and build trust. I intuitively felt that from you the first day I interviewed you as an associate. You scored big with the Interscope win, and you helped land what might become the largest billable client in the firm’s history.”

“It’s been a good day for the firm,” she said.

“And a good year for the firm and a good year for you. Would you like to try and guess what your bonus will look like in December?”

Emma just smiled and shook her head. “As funny as this may sound, I haven’t really thought about that yet.”

“Well, I have,” Robert said, closing the NF file and reaching for a plain manila folder, much thinner, sitting on a tall stack of legal papers in the corner of his desk. He opened it with grace and flair, watching for her reaction.

“How does $400,000 sound? Not salary,” he said. “Bonus.”

Emma’s jaw dropped as she responded with total shock. “That’s unbelievable, Robert.”

“No, it’s not unbelievable, Emma. And it’s not just your bonus. It’s also a glimpse into your future.”

Emma looked confused. “I’m not following you.”

“How long has it been since you made partner, five years? It’s time you and I talk seriously about your next promotion. Perhaps I haven’t given due diligence to what your professional aspirations might be. Have you given any thought to how high you’d like to go, Emma?”

She wrinkled her face, adjusting to the strange turn the conversation was taking.

“Robert, I’m having a hard time thinking about long-range planning right now, but I’ve thought about being a good lawyer, about helping clients win cases. I don’t have long-term goals.”

Robert chuckled.

“That’s the difference between you and me, and Colin too. I calculate everything that happens in the business world. One victory paves the way for another door of opportunity. One star player on a team might mean a trip to the championship. Do you follow?”

“Honestly, Robert, not at all.”

“Let me tell you about my vision,” he said, coming around to sit on the front of his desk. “Word is spreading about your big win in the Interscope case. You don’t see it, but you’re gaining a reputation as the go-to attorney specializing in insurance lawsuits. With health-care cases on the rise, Emma, we’ve struck a vein of gold. This firm has the potential to double its size in attorneys, and triple in terms of earnings. If you’re not a millionaire already, you will be by this time next year. But that’s not all, Emma. Far from it.”

Emma listened to Robert spill his vision for the world of tomorrow, an ever-growing legal firm with a national reputation for winning health-care and insurance cases. It all lined up for Robert. He saw his vision as if it were a certainty.

“That’s why you should give careful consideration to what you want.” He chuckled again, louder this time. “I have to tell you honestly, there was a part of me that wasn’t sure you were coming back at all.”

“Is that what this is, Robert? A big check to make sure I stay with the firm?”

“I’ll make it even simpler than that, Emma. It’s an informal evaluation of where I think you are in your career, and what likely scenarios there are for your future, depending on the decisions you make today. We’ve touched on what the next year will look like in your professional life. Do you want to see into the not-so-distant future?”

“I’m listening.”

A greedy smile appeared on Robert’s face, the same one he’d worn at the courthouse after Emma’s victory against Kenneth Blackman.

“There’s talk about you in political circles. Emma, you may not realize it, but you’re in a grooming town. Boston has a two-hundred-year history of politics and a robust political party system. You’re a successful lawyer, young and beautiful, and developing quite a name for yourself as a champion of health-care reform. There are people who see you going further than just a partner in this firm.”

“What do you mean, Robert?”

“I play golf with Darrell Brown; he’s the dean of Massachusetts state politics. He’s, among other things, a political talent scout, and you’re in his purview. If he sets a political career in motion, things mysteriously fall into place.”

“You’ve got to be joking.”

“Hardly. An appointment as United States attorney for our district is within easy reach. Then, if you wanted to run for attorney general on issues like health care and consumer protection, you’d be a shoe-in.”

“I don’t believe you. You’re telling me I could run for public office in Massachusetts?”

“I’m telling you that you could
win
, Emma. I want to keep you here another year or two, but Brown is pushing to assist your appointment to U.S. attorney. After that, the sky’s the limit. Congresswoman, senator, governor.”

“And you’d be okay with losing me as partner if I presumably entered politics?”

Robert smiled, the old competitive spirit heating up in his bones.

“Let’s just say if you were to climb up the ranks to political office, you’d still be in a position to help your friends who helped get you there.”

Emma couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“Go home, Emma. It’s been a long day. You don’t have to decide your destiny tonight, but remember, every decision you make affects your future.”

Robert took a box of matches out his vest pocket and walked back behind his desk. He removed a cigar from a box and stuck one end in his mouth. “See you in the morning, Emma. Bright and early.”

He lit the other end of his cigar, sending a swirl of ashen smoke above him in a cloud. Emma got up from her seat and left Robert at his window overlooking the city.

o o o

Emma called for a cab and hauled her luggage, which by now was feeling like a heavy, unwelcome shadow, back down to the street below. The temperature had dropped considerably, and although the taxicab arrived in less than five minutes, Emma was utterly numb by the time she slid inside.

“Back Bay,” she told the driver, closing her eyes and languishing in a cab that was not just warm, but exquisitely warm. The driver whisked her away down Federal Street. The lights in the city shone bright like Christmas lights. It was almost seven o’clock, fourteen hours since she’d left her father’s house. She realized she’d been sent home before dinner arrived at the office and Emma felt completely drained. The driver had some kind of talk radio playing but pushed in another preset on the radio as he turned up Essex Street. A country song started playing. Emma couldn’t make it out.

“Excuse me. Could you turn the radio up just a little?”

“Sure,” he said with a heavy accent.

The driver turned up the radio and Emma rested her head again listening to the words.

If you ever have forever in mind

I’ll be here and easy to find

The taxi coursed down Boylston Street. Emma told him the address and the driver relayed it to the dispatcher.

A minute later, the taxi pulled up to Emma’s townhouse, and she paid him through the plastic divider between the front and backseat.

She turned the key in the front door, and pushed it open with her foot, dragging her bags inside. The house was completely dark, so she switched on the hall lights and turned off the alarm system, locking the door behind her.

After emptying her bags and starting a load of laundry, Emma drew a hot bath. She desperately needed to soak awhile and allow the day to unwind before going downstairs to the kitchen to make a bite of dinner. As she soaked in the hot, soapy water, only one thought registered in her mind: Her world had been flipped upside down like a car on the Zipper ride at the county fair.