Authors: Ben Hopkin
Tags: #General Fiction
“That must have been a difficult scenario. I cannot imagine how that would have felt for you.” In spite of Trey’s snafu, Darc seemed to be handling this well. His inflection was a little robotic, but that was just Darc.
“Thank you for listening to me complain,” Mala said. “I have to admit, I was nervous you were going to go marching in there, ready to fix everything.”
“You would not have appreciated that?”
“Well, I think it would have made everything worse.”
This was going so well. Trey would have patted himself on the back if he’d been flexible enough. Okay, it was Maggie that had scored that last hit, but still…
Trey leaned back in the sofa and cracked his knuckles. Time to introduce a little innuendo, see if they could get the sex appeal meter crankin’. He thought through some of his best approaches.
While he was busy thinking, Maggie got closer to the speaker again. “Start talking about joint memories. Things you’ve done together.”
Mentally snapping his fingers, Trey wondered why he hadn’t thought of that. Brilliant. But then he realized something. Every single one of their joint memories involved blood. Gallons and gallons of blood.
Trey had a feeling that this date was about to go south.
He went to grab another bottle of wine. It was almost certain that he and Maggie were going to need it.
CHAPTER 5
Darc’s senses were on overload. This was a part of the date that he had not foreseen, although in retrospect, it should have been clear. Bands of light swirled around Mala, the other patrons streaming into and out of the restaurant, the restaurant itself. Too much information flooding his senses, and all of it relating to the formless emotional landscape that was always so indecipherable to him.
The ability to process multiple streams of conversation simultaneously was something that had useful applications, especially when it came to detective work. But its efficacy seemed to diminish when it was used for social settings and applications.
The remainder of the car ride had been uneventful, with Darc sharing recollections with Mala of their previous cases they had worked together. It had seemed successful, but there had been multiple interruptions from Trey and Maggie urging him to lighten up on the gore.
That was odd. They had instructed him to recount tales of his time together with Mala. All of those times revolved around horrific murders. There appeared to be some sort of disconnect between what they were saying and how he was interpreting it.
But now they were at the restaurant. As they entered through the door, the sushi chefs behind the bar called out to them.
“
Irraishimase
!” It was a word of welcome in Japanese.
Darc scrolled through the various responses and landed on one that seemed appropriate. “
Arigatou gozaimasu
,” he replied.
The chefs looked at one another, and then back at Darc. Their facial expressions seemed blank, which created a complete lack of generated information for Darc to follow. He had no idea what their response meant.
“You don’t actually answer that,” Mala said.
Darc turned to her. “What?”
“The reason they’re all surprised is that you’re not supposed to answer them when they welcome you into the restaurant. They don’t know what to do.”
Trey’s voice sounded in his ear.
Shake it off. Shake it off. Take her to her seat and make sure you pull out her chair for her.
That seemed illogical. Mala was capable of pulling out her own seat. Why would she want someone else to take care of that small physical task for her?
But Darc had committed to following Trey’s advice, and so far it appeared to be working. So he led her through the restaurant, following behind the Asian hostess who was taking them to their table.
When they arrived, Mala grabbed the back of her chair, ready to pull it out for herself. But that was contrary to the instructions Darc had received, so he hurried over and snatched the chair from her.
There was a moment where they were fighting to gain control of the piece of furniture, and Mala glanced up at Darc with an odd expression on her face. It was hard to gauge for certain, but it seemed to either be irritation or gastric distress. Neither option was pleasant.
After the brief struggle, Mala seemed to realize what was going on. At least it appeared that way, as she stepped back and gave a small chuckle.
“I have to admit, I wasn’t expecting you to pull out my chair for me. Sorry I fought you. That was very gentlemanly of you.”
Okay, this is tricky, but for future reference, don’t do something polite if you have to wrestle her for it
, Trey spoke in his ear. That was information that would have been useful several moments ago.
There were some significant issues with this arrangement. The major one being that Trey and Maggie could not see what was happening.
Maggie. That was another piece of this strange puzzle. When Darc had heard her voice for the first time, there had been another unusual upheaval in his interior emotional landscape. There was no logical reason for any sort of reaction, but he was having one nonetheless.
In the meantime, Mala had opened up her menu and was looking through the options. Darc did the same, seeking solace in the orderly words and numbers that greeted him there. He scanned the document, looking for something palatable, and chose the teriyaki beef as the most likely candidate. For all that Darc had learned about basic Japanese as an intellectual exercise, he had never eaten Japanese food, and the teriyaki seemed nonthreatening for the most part.
By the time he looked up, it appeared that Mala had already ordered her food. The waiter looked to him, and Darc communicated his choice.
“Would you like to share some
gyoza
for an appetizer?” Mala asked.
He glanced back at the menu and decided that
gyoza
did not seem to be too unusual. “That would be fine.”
Lighten up, Darc. You sound like a math professor. “That would be fine.” Come on.
Trey’s speech sounded slurred. Was there an issue with the connection?
Ha! Teaching. Darc. That’s funny.
It was Maggie, whose speech was also sounding distorted. Darc touched his finger to his ear, attempting to adjust the wireless piece without drawing attention to it.
“Are you feeling okay? Is your ear troubling you?” Mala asked.
“No. I am fine.”
Whoa. You almost got busted, dude. Better watch that.
Trey started giggling. There was something wrong, but there was no way for Darc to ask what it was without alerting Mala.
Perhaps it was worth a trip to the restroom. He stood up and began walking off, only to have Mala call after him.
“Where are you going?”
“To the restroom.”
You can’t just get up and go to the bathroom, Darc. Tell her where you’re going first
. More advice from Trey that would make more sense to Darc if he could answer back. He moved off in the direction of the men’s room, stepping in front of a thin man in glasses who was about to enter.
“What the hell!” the man protested. Darc looked at him, and the man backed down. “Hey, when you gotta go, you gotta go.” He motioned for Darc to precede him. Darc moved into one of the stalls and locked the door.
Are you trying to get into a fight at the restaurant?
Trey demanded.
“No, I am not,” Darc answered back. “I needed to talk to you.”
Oh, hey, cool. I get what you’re doing now.
“There is something wrong with our connection. Your consonants are slurred and your speech pattern sounds altered. Also, you are giggling.”
Heh, heh. He said “giggling,”
Trey said, giggling more.
Darc, it’s okay,
Maggie interjected.
We’ve just had a little wine. Don’t worry about it. Go back and sit down.
She was sounding altered as well, but was clearly less so than Trey.
“If you are intoxicated, I am not certain that your advice will be appropriate,” Darc said. The strands of light swirled off the sound waves generated in the earpiece, confirming Darc’s words.
Dude. I promise that my drunk dating advice is better than your normal stone-cold sober stuff.
Trey’s volume had risen, as well as his pitch. That could be indicative of irritation or fear. It was likely the latter. Maggie was often terrifying.
Darc, you’ll be fine,
Maggie stepped back in, after giving Trey a shushing sound
. You’re already doing better than you did on
our
first date, and I still married you. Just remember to think of what she needs instead of what you want. Got it?
“Yes.”
Good
.
Darc moved back into the main area of the restroom, where the thin man was looking at him with a certain intensity. Perhaps he was watching Darc to see if he would wash his hands? Trey had mentioned that social oddity which existed at restaurants. It was one of the few rules that made logical sense. The destruction of dangerous pathogens on the skin was rational. It was the social aspect that made no sense. Why would someone else care that Darc washed his hands?
He moved to the sink, and the thin man followed, taking the sink to Darc’s right, apparently to do the same thing. Darc leaned over to turn on the faucet.
Hey, Darc,
Trey said.
Just curious, but what’s the time frame on boob touching tonight? I gotta take a leak and I don’t want to miss it.
Darc’s partner started laughing until there was a sharp noise that sounded like a slap.
Ow!
“You are acting in an inappropriate manner,” Darc replied. “Remember that I know multiple ways to kill you without being apprehended,” Darc responded.
The man to Darc’s right backed away from the sink, his hands still soapy and dripping. He neglected to turn off the faucet as well. When Darc turned to look at the man, his face blanched and he bolted for the door.
Strange.
Darc left the bathroom and headed back to the table. It was clear that the help coming from his partner was at least partially compromised.
Their food had arrived, however. Darc’s teriyaki beef and Mala’s raw fish. The bands and pathways of light swirled around her dish, calculations clarifying in his mind. There was information here that needed to be shared. Preferably before she began eating.
“Raw fish has been shown to carry anisakis, which is a parasitic worm which can cause extreme gastronomic distress including vomiting and severe diarrhea for up to three days if it lodges in your stomach. If it takes up residence in your intestines, it will need to be removed laparoscopically.”
Mala looked up from her fish, her skin tone changing to a lighter, slightly green shade. She said nothing, which encouraged Darc to continue.
Darc, what are you doing? You took her to a sushi restaurant for crying out loud. Don’t start dissing the chow. And never,
ever
use the word
diarrhea
on a date.
Trey’s tone was adamant, but it was also clear he was still intoxicated. The possible risks to Mala’s health seemed more important than Trey’s drunken concerns.
“There is also the danger of
vibrio vulnificus
,
streptococci, Esherichia coli
and fecal coliform if proper care is not taken by the chefs,” Darc elaborated. “Although this establishment appears clean, so that is most likely not as great a risk.”
Darc, seriously, stop
. This time it was Maggie. Her reduced state of intoxication made her a more reliable source, but he was not convinced.
As Mala pushed her plate away, a slim Caucasian man in a suit approached their table. He appeared to be a manager. That was fortuitous. Darc would be able to discuss with him the freezing processes used before transporting and preparing their fish.
“Excuse me,” the manager said. “I am so sorry, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave the restaurant.”
“What on earth for?” Mala asked, her eyebrows lifting.
“Another customer has accused your date of threatening his life in the restroom.”
Mala looked from Darc to the manager and then back to Darc.
Darc was uncertain, but this did not seem to be a positive development in their date.
* * *
Mala was pretty sure that this had been the most painful date of her life. There had been moments, right up front, where she had thought that maybe,
maybe
, there was a chance that this was going to work.
All of those ideas had quickly fled with the one-two punch of having her meal spoiled by graphic depictions of biological terrorism committed in sushi restaurants and then being expelled forcibly from that very establishment. She had to admit, it had been
memorable
if nothing else.
“Darc, I think it’s just time for me—” Mala began, when her cell phone rang. It was Pyper, her supposed marijuana-using babysitter. Mala answered the call, her hands trembling. Getting a call from the babysitter didn’t seem like it could possibly be a good thing.
That suspicion was confirmed by Pyper’s frantic tone. “Dr. Charan! I went in to check on Janey and she wasn’t there.” It sounded like she was doing all that she could not to cry. “I looked everywhere in the apartment, but I couldn’t find her.”
“All right,” Mala replied, her mind racing. “I’m going to give you three places to check, and then I want you to go down to the security desk on the first floor and see if they’ve seen her. Check in the closet in my bedroom, the one in the hallway and under the sink.” Those were several of the places that Janey liked to hide with her bear when she wanted some alone time. It was possible she had just gotten overwhelmed with the idea of being there with a babysitter.
But even as she thought it, Mala was sure that wasn’t the case.
“Okay. Okay. Dr. Charan, I’m
so
sorry,” Pyper sobbed, giving way to her tears. “This has never happened to me before.”
“Pyper, it’s all right. Take a deep breath and try to calm yourself. You won’t be able to help if you’re panicked.”
“You’re right. You’re right.” The babysitter took a moment, and then responded with a more normal tone. “I’ll call you once I’ve checked those places.”