Authors: SE Jakes
“Even if that’s true, we’re in this together,” Styx said. “Now, come on. Time for your pills.”
“Don’t want more of that fuzzy-headed shit,” he mumbled, tried to push Styx away. But suddenly, Law’s hand was on his cock again and he moaned, the protests washing away.
Fuck, he was a sucker on pain pills. And horny, too. “What the hell are in those things?”
Law stroked faster. “Whatever it is, you think you’d want more, not less.”
“Yeah.”
“Take the pills,” Styx said, and Paulo opened his mouth and complied, taking some water, then he lay back and let Law continue his long, slow strokes while Styx sucked his nipple into his mouth.
“Shit.” He knew he needed to stay still in order to minimize the pain and maximize the pleasure.
“You’ll feel good soon…then you’ll sleep,” Law told him, and he practically purred under the men’s touches.
He’d only been away for days, but it felt like a lifetime. And so he let them take him, coming more quickly than he wanted to and basking in the warmth of that.
When he woke again, it was still dark and the room was nearly so, save for the dimmed light on the night table. If not for that, he wouldn’t have been able to see Law sleeping on the pillow next to him. Paulo reached out to run fingers through his hair, and he opened his eyes.
“Sorry. I’m sorry.” It was all Paulo could think to say.
“Me too.” Law propped on his elbow, traced a finger along Paulo’s cheek. “You were out like a light.”
“How long?”
“At least fourteen hours.”
“Hate those pills.”
“Yeah, well, you’re pretty banged up.” He paused. “Tomcat said to call him if you remember anything else.”
He remembered everything he needed to—it was the escape that wasn’t clear. But the intel—he held that close, because it could be the break they needed.
He didn’t want any of this to be for nothing.
He closed his eyes for a second and when he opened them again, Law was holding out a cup with a straw.
“Drink. Or I’ll put in an IV.”
“Bossy.” He drank the cup of ginger ale down and realized he was actually hungry. “Any food?”
“Yeah.” Law smiled, passed him his phone. “Styx is making dinner—you make your call.”
He guessed Law wanted to listen in, doubted he’d leave even if Paulo asked, so he didn’t.
“Dude, you got me in so much trouble with those two,” Tomcat started as soon as he answered. “Tell me it was worth it.”
“It was.” Paulo rattled off the names and dates he’d heard the men muttering to one another in some sort of code that he’d sifted through in his mind over and over during the hours he’d been tied until he’d realized they’d been talking bank account numbers and dates. “I think these will help.”
Law was staring at him, muttering, “How the hell did you get all that?” as Tomcat said, “Fucking brilliant,” and hung up the phone.
Paulo hung up on his end, handed it back to Law. “We’re close.”
“Don’t even think about it,” Law warned. “You’re sitting the next round out.”
“I didn’t come this far to back down,” Paulo ground out, but the fact that he could barely move, thanks to what happened to be bruised ribs, made the show less impressive than he’d hoped.
“We almost lost you,” Law told him. “Couldn’t live with ourselves if that happened.”
“Don’t pull the guilt card.”
“It’s way more than guilt,” Styx said from where he stood in the doorway. “Have you looked in a mirror lately?”
“There were four of them,” Paulo confirmed. “So all things considered, I don’t think I look too bad.”
Law smirked at that, and Styx just shook his head. “I’m going to kill Tomcat for this.”
“Why? We’re a step closer to finding out where your father lives. You wouldn’t let me do it by myself, and you and Law couldn’t do it without being found out. I have no regrets—not one.” Paulo spoke so fiercely, breathed in too hard and saw stars. Law held him carefully by the shoulders.
“Baby, we know why you did it, okay?”
“Don’t patronize me.” His teeth clenched and he was sweating from the exertion.
Styx put his lips on Paulo’s shoulder, kissed gently. “I’m sorry this spilled over into your life.”
Paulo rested his head against Styx’s shoulder. “We’re close to this being over—so close.”
“I know. And Tomcat and I are planning… But I’m not doing anything until you’re better,” Styx told him.
Paulo nodded and didn’t push anything further. “My family—”
“They’re okay,” Styx assured him. “They’re in a safe house for now until this is all figured out.”
“God, my father must hate that.”
“Pretty much,” Styx agreed. “But they’re happy you’re alive, Paulo. Your mom wants you to call her.”
Paulo snorted and even that hurt, so he shut up and lay there and tried to absorb what had happened over the past few days. Except the last bits were all…fuzzy. “In the building…at the end…”
Styx stared at him. “You don’t remember?”
“It’s still hazy, but I remember shots.”
“You got out of your bonds. You shot one guy and were taking on the other two when Tomcat came in to help and took out the fourth,” Styx said. “You were a goddamned hero. You put a hell of a dent in my father’s organization. He keeps things pretty close to the vest, doesn’t like to hire a lot of outside help. It’s taken him years to build up those men. He’s vulnerable now.”
“Good. So are you two going to treat me like I’m made of glass for much longer?”
“Yes,” Law and Styx told him together.
“You can’t put yourself out there like that—it could’ve easily ended badly. You set yourself up for this,” Styx said.
“I had a plan,” Paulo mumbled.
“What? Stopping fists with your body?” Styx was angry but concerned. Shook his head. “No more of this shit—I’m in charge of this op.”
Both men stared at him. “Well, I am.”
“Together. That’s the only way,” Law said firmly.
“Last time I looked, neither of you were CIA. They kind of frown on former military and cops trying to help.” Paulo watched Law stare Styx down. “Ah, come on, Law.”
“You promised me. And you don’t go back on those. The Styx I knew never did.”
Styx sighed, stared at the ceiling. “He still doesn’t.”
“Good.” Law looked back at Paulo. “Don’t worry about anything.”
“Yeah, okay,” he muttered. “Because that’s worked so well for all of us.”
When Paulo woke again, Styx was lying with him, reading a paperback biography of some rock star. Paulo had managed to turn so he was pressed against the man, but Styx didn’t appear to have minded.
Instead, he put down his book and let Paulo shift to get even more comfortable. Handed him the soda from the side of the bed. And another pain pill—a half—which he took reluctantly since everything was throbbing again and not in a good way.
“Can’t wait till I don’t have to take these anymore,” he muttered.
“Sleep’s good for you—means you’re healing,” Styx told him, brushed the hair from Paulo’s forehead gently.
“Don’t be angry with Tomcat. I made the decision to help him.”
“Yeah, I know.” Styx shook his head. “My father ruins everything he touches. I don’t want him anywhere near you or Law again.”
“I know you don’t think of him as a father…but even though you know his real name, you never use it. Why?” Paulo asked, and Styx smiled wryly.
“It’s like the devil—you should never say his name out loud unless you want him to appear.”
It was Paulo’s turn to smile a little. “I know what you mean.” It had been a long time since he’d mentioned his father’s name. McMannus was a common last name, so that wasn’t a big concern, but Big Pat, as he was nicknamed…well, Paulo rarely let himself think about the man.
The descriptions in the paper, at the trial, they’d been horrifying. “I couldn’t talk to him after that day in court. The last words my father sneered to me were that I’d never escape his legacy—or the fact that I was queer.” Paulo had no issue with the queer thing, but to be a part of that man’s family… “He’s right—I can’t escape it. They think I’ve got that in me. Telling them I’m gay makes things worse in a whole different way.”
“You can’t spend your life making up for him. That’s not on your shoulders,” Styx said.
“I’d say ditto, but I’m betting you’ll tell me your situation is very different.”
Styx snorted at that but didn’t look happy.
Paulo continued anyway. “Why didn’t your father go after Damon?”
“He knew we weren’t lovers. I would’ve died if he’d hurt Damon, but he knew it wasn’t the same thing. By that point, Damon was out of the house a lot, too. He was working different clubs—more the BDSM crowd while Law and I were working Greg’s, which were your typical dance-and-fuck-in-the-back-room variety,” Styx explained. “He had pictures. Of me and Law together. Made it look so damned dirty.”
Paulo nodded, thought back to his own family’s reaction to his admission. “My family hasn’t talked to me since the day I came out. I think sometimes that what my father did to that prisoner…I feel like it was because of me. All the rage was supposed to be directed at me.”
He hadn’t realized his breath had come fast, and it had been the first time he’d ever admitted that. “There was so much hate in what he did. If he’d gotten his hands on me…”
“Don’t go there,” Styx said. Paulo hadn’t even realized he’d moved to him. “Paulo, man, you’re shaking like a leaf. Here.”
Styx wrapped the blanket around both of them and just held him close.
“Why would he do that? I was the same kid—the same one he took hunting,” Paulo heard himself saying, his voice thin, and he hadn’t known the wounds had been this deep.
“It’s nothing you did,” Styx soothed. “It’s his hang-up. You didn’t deserve that treatment.”
“I shouldn’t…compared to what you and Law went through—”
“Hey—don’t do that. I want you to let it out, baby. Get it all out and put it behind you.” Styx rubbed his back and cradled him and he let it go, his face buried against Styx’s chest. “I’m sorry your parents are so fucked up.”
Paulo nodded and wished he could just stay like this, half suspended in sleep from the meds. “Fucking hate these pills. Like truth serum.”
Styx chuckled. “This time, the truth will set you free.”
Paulo raised his eyes. “Thanks. For listening. Jesus, when I first met you—first heard about you… Let’s just say you’re the last person I’d ever thought I’d be admitting shit like this to.”
“But you are.”
Paulo’s next words came out in a rush. “Law loves you. I could never take you from him, couldn’t let that happen. I would walk away first. I’m ready to. When it’s time, you’ve got to help me make him let me go.”
“To me.”
“Yeah. If you leave him again, for any reason, I’ll hunt your ass down. But you guys belong together.”
“He’s fallen for you,” Styx told him quietly.
“He’d already fallen for you. It’s one thing to compete with a ghost. Another with you, flesh and blood.”
Paulo felt the blood seeping down his side, looked down. “Shit, I busted a stitch.” He was busy grabbing for another piece of gauze and Styx helped him, pressing it tight to make sure the bleeding stopped.
“Lie back—you’re doing too much.”
“Talking?” Paulo asked, but he didn’t fight when Styx pushed him to the pillows gently. The conversation—the confessions—had all worn him out and he let himself drift off, secure in the knowledge that Styx and Law would watch over him.
Chapter Fifteen
Styx watched Paulo sleep for a little while, and he must’ve fallen asleep himself, because when he woke, it was with a start.
Confused, he looked down at the man lying next to him, saw tattoos and blood and reached out tentatively to touch him…and this was all so familiar…and all too real.
“Styx, what is it?” Law asked.
Law? What the hell was he doing here?
Styx looked at him and then back at the man in bed…the tattoos, the blood…
“Styx, you’re so pale, man—look like you’re seeing a ghost.”
But Styx didn’t answer, reached out to touch the young man’s face…jerked back and then slowly let his fingers settle along his temple. “He’s still warm,” he murmured. “I have to save him…thought he was dead.”
“He’s alive, Styx.”
“I thought Kyle died.”
“This is Paulo, not Kyle,” Law said calmly, his voice strong and soothing. Slowly, Styx came back to reality as he blinked, stared down at the younger man’s temple. The gunshot wound was gone and in its place, unmarred skin.
The tattoos…the blood…
His body shuddered under the weight of the memory—it was tremendous, and he wasn’t sure if he could bear the truth, let alone say it out loud.
Paulo stirred under Styx’s touch, looked confused and no doubt felt the distress. But all he did was reach out to touch Styx’s hand, and Law took the other in his.
“I remember something,” Styx said hoarsely.
God, the memories were flooding back from that night, like watching a slow-motion video of the events.
“Right in front of me,” he whispered. “Because I refused to get involved. He killed him.”
Neither man pushed him, and he spent the next few moments trying to breathe through what felt like a straw.
“My father…that night…the blood on my shirt when I woke up was my…” His lover. His first. Kyle. “Kyle. He was older than me. Twenty. He was…I was in love with him. He was going to take me away.”
“Your father killed him in front of you?” Law breathed out the question.
Styx nodded. “He killed him because of me.”
Paulo struggled to sit up and winced, and Styx put his hand out to the man’s shoulder. “Please, stay down. Bad enough seeing you hurt the first time.”
“Then come down here—both of you.”
“Bossy,” Styx muttered, but both he and Law complied. This time, it was Styx in the middle with both men holding him, letting him tell the story at his own pace.
He lay there a long time before he spoke again. “It was the night I first met Greg…before I ended up on the bench in Central Park. I was home—in a room with a white rug and black leather furniture and I should recognize it as my house, but I still don’t. And I was standing there, telling my father no and my father was telling me, ‘You’re dead to me.’”