She hurried into her clothes but took the time to rub some lotion into her dry skin. The decadence of it nearly brought her to tears. If Rowan hadn’t been waiting for his turn in the bathroom, she might have stayed there all day giving herself a spa day. But like it or not, she had real–life things to attend to, such as dealing with her parents and legal paperwork. She couldn’t hide in the bathroom forever.
* * * * *
Rowan paced the room wanting to put his fist through the wall. He’d been attending to all things Jill this morning and it was enough to drive him crazy. Not Jill. She was cool. With a fresh shower, clean clothes and a layer of desperation removed, he could start to see the person she could become. He still didn’t know if they were a match, but he found himself giving her little touches here and there. At first she’d jumped when their fingers brushed when he’d handed her a spoon at breakfast, but this afternoon, she seemed to be getting used to him.
No, Jill wasn’t bothering him, but he wanted to put his fist through a wall at the legalese of ending an abusive marriage. They’d met with the Program lawyer straight after breakfast who’d given her advice, the first of which was that she had to complete a docket full of papers to legally start divorce proceedings. If her husband refused to sign the papers, a divorce could happen after six months of living separately. In his mind, the second a husband hit his wife, she should have the legal right to leave him and take all his money and worldly possessions. The lawyer recommended differently. He also recommended Jill return her husband’s car. That way there’d be no accusations of theft.
Jill sat bent over the paperwork, which she finally signed and slid across the table to Steven, the Program attorney. “That looks like it, Ms. Thompson. We’ll find someone to serve your husband with the paperwork, and your marriage will be a memory soon.”
“Can I serve the papers?” Rowan asked. He stepped over to the table to lean over Jill. He’d like nothing more than to serve her dick of a husband with divorce papers and maybe a punch or two if he got lucky.
“You’re not authorized,” Steven said. “But I am.” Their gazes met above Jill’s head, where she couldn’t see both men were in agreement on how they’d like to handle the husband. Steven had grown up on The Program campus but left to go to college and law school. He was back now working as an attorney who had a unique understanding of the way things worked around here. The way Rowan saw it, Steven was serving a function as important as a soldier. Plus, being enhanced himself, he could kick ass in and out of a courtroom.
“Excellent. We’ll return the car and serve the paperwork.”
Jill looked up and grabbed his hand. “Rowan, no. Jack isn’t going to handle it well. He’ll get angry.”
“That’s what we’re hoping,” he said with a grin. Steven laughed. “My brother’s gonna want to come with us. He’ll be pissed if he misses it.”
“You guys think this is funny? Jack owns guns.”
“So do we,” Rowan and Steven said in unison.
Jill let her forehead fall to the table. “This is bad. I don’t want anyone getting hurt because of me.”
Rowan sank into the chair next to her. “Jill, the only person getting hurt was
you
. We want you to stop being the victim and maybe let Jackass know what it’s like to be hurt by someone bigger and stronger.”
“Jackass?” she asked.
He grinned. “Can you think of a better nickname?”
She smiled weakly back at him. “No. Jackass works. Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”
He held his hand over his heart. “Promise.”
Chapter Four
W
here the fuck are we?” Rowan asked and pulled up on the gas pedal, sure they were lost since they hadn’t passed anything remotely resembling civilization in at least a mile.
Next to him in the passenger seat, Adam checked the GPS app. “Somewhere in rural Virginia. You’re on the right road.”
Steven drove Jill’s husband’s car behind them.
“Jaysus, this is the country. I’m thinking we’ll be dodging cows in the road any second.” His better–than–average vision scanned the trees and long stretch of road, with a house off in the distance. Fences lined the road, blocking in pastures for cows and horses that weren’t visible now. Probably in the barns on this cold winter night.
“Ever been out here before?” he asked Adam.
“Nah. No reason to.”
“It’s like real America, you know?”
Adam shrugged. “I guess people think of this as the heart of America, but personally I think the melting pot of America’s big cities are what makes the country so great.”
“Good point. This is kind of nice though. Homey. Can’t you picture you and Loren living out here, raising a bunch of kids who run around all day?”
Adam laughed. “And what the heck would I do all day? Not a lot of terrorists in these parts.”
“That we know of.”
“That we know of,” Adam echoed in agreement. They rode in silence a little longer. “So, you and Jill…”
He took his eyes off the road to glance at his brother. “What about us?”
His brother swiveled his torso to face him. “Nothing.” A long pause. “I don’t know. You really want to do this?”
“Kick her husband’s ass? Absofuckinglutely.”
Adam smiled, then got serious again. “You put yourself out there. For a total stranger. That’s what I meant. I told Shep I supported you one hundred percent, but…I don’t know.”
“You don’t support me?” His grip on the black steering knob tightened.
“I
do
support you, but I want you to have what I have. With Loren. Being with my perfect match…it’s fucking awesome. I want that for you.”
Rowan swallowed. He and Adam had been close growing up, but Adam had run away in his teens, leaving him alone with a mom who got cancer the next year. Things had never been the same between them. “Thanks, I think, but yeah, put yourself in my shoes. Loren comes in a year ago looking like shit, covered in bruises, what do you do?”
Adam thought about it for a second. “Dunno. Good question.”
“I couldn’t let her go. Couldn’t let her leave knowing she’d probably end up back with her husband. Had to protect her, you know.”
“Yeah. I hear you. What if you meet another woman who could be your match? What then?”
He shrugged. “Another good question. Maybe it’s Jill. Who knows?”
“Do you feel anything for her? Are you attracted to her?”
Now it was his turn to think for a minute. “Maybe? Hated the way she looked at my arm when we first met, right? But now? There could be a connection. We’re sharing a room, but I’m not going crazy. It’s fine having her there.”
“That’s a start, but I mean sexually. With Loren, I couldn’t be in a room without wanting to get her naked. Year later and I still want that. Always will.”
Rowan chewed that over. “Maybe someday. Right now Jill’s like a wounded animal. Not ready for sex or a relationship. Maybe when she’s ready, the match thing will kick in. On paper we’re a match.”
“Could be. Hope so for your sake.”
* * * * * *
“Stop squirming. I’m almost done.” Emma’s hand on her shoulder held her in place when she would’ve tried to swivel to see herself in the mirror.
“Relax,” Loren advised from the corner. “Emma knows what she’s doing, and you’re looking great.”
A small smile formed on Jill’s lips as the women fussed over her. She’d never had this before. In high school she’d had girlfriends, but she’d been so enamored with being one half of uber–couple, Jack and Jill, she hadn’t fully appreciated them. She’d never make that mistake again. Rowan had dropped her into Emma’s care only two hours ago, but if felt as if they’d known each other forever.
The British blonde woman was close to her in age, and something in her eyes said she’d been through her own hardships and had now found her happy place. One big reason for Emma’s happy place was sprawled in the corner silent and deadly. Emma’s match, Xander, had frightened Jill when they’d been introduced, but once she’d seen how gentle and loving he was to both Emma and his mother, she relaxed. He now hovered in the corner of the room–slash– makeshift salon not speaking. Jill gathered that he was very protective of Emma, and since she was a stranger, he wasn’t leaving anything to chance. It was laughable that someone thought of her as a potential threat. She only wished she were actually a threat. Maybe it would’ve stopped some of Jack’s beatings.
Jill let her gaze circle around to the three women in the room helping her with this makeover. Loren, Emma, and Judy, who was Xander’s mother. All three seemed genuinely kind and concerned. “This is so nice of you to spend the afternoon with me,” she said for what was maybe the seventh time.
“Stop saying that,” Judy said in a motherly tone. “All of us needed support at one time or another. This is what we’re here for.”
She blinked and averted her gaze. It was too harsh a reminder that she’d needed support and the people who could’ve given it to her had been unable to help. “Okay, but I appreciate it. I can’t say how much.”
Emma laughed. “I love that you’re letting me play Barbie Doll on you.”
“Please tell me all your Barbies didn’t end up bald with marker scribbled on their bodies like mine did.”
Emma smiled and held up a large hand mirror. “You tell me. Fabulous, right?”
Jill stared at the unfamiliar face in the mirror. Her long lank brown hair now brushed her shoulders. Golden reddish highlights streaked out from her scalp, lighting up her face, a face that had its first taste of makeup in five years.
Her silence extended for another minute. “Jill?” Emma asked, worried. “Jill, you still with us?”
She nodded mutely.
“Xander, tell Jill she looks beautiful.”
All the female eyes in the room moved to watch the tall handsome soldier shift uncomfortably in his chair. “Emma,” he warned.
“It’s all right,” Jill said, flushing. She knew she was no great beauty. Xander shouldn’t have to lie to make her feel better, but he surprised her by continuing to speak.
“I say she’s beautiful: Rowan gets pissed. I say she’s not: I lie. It’s a no win, Em.”
Emma grinned triumphantly and Jill felt her cheeks heat. It had been so long since she’d worn makeup or put any effort into her appearance, she hadn’t expected a miracle, but Emma had handed her one.
“Thank you,” she said. “I feel…” She stopped, unable to put her feelings into words. “I can’t believe it.” Her hand trembled as she ran it through her hair, loving its silky feel under her fingertips. The split ends and damaged strands were gone, thanks to a conditioning treatment and haircut. Jack had never wanted her to spend money on haircuts, especially when he liked her hair long. Now she understood it was about control. He probably hadn’t cared what her hair looked like, but dictating her style meant he controlled yet another piece of her soul.
She grinned around the room. “This is amazing. Next time, I’ll let you go even shorter.”
Emma gave her a spontaneous hug. “Brilliant.”
“Now to get you some clothes,” Loren said. “And some makeup and hair product of your own. What does Rowan have in his room? An electric razor and some generic brand shampoo?”
“I’m okay as far as shampoo and stuff go. Rowan’s last girlfriend left a lot of her stuff here. Can’t say I like using another woman’s stuff, but…” She shrugged.
An uncomfortable silence fell over the room. “What?” She tried to catch anyone’s attention, but no one would meet her eyes. “Emma, what aren’t you telling me? He still has a girlfriend, doesn’t he?” The joy of her makeover leaked out of her as fast as taking scissors to a balloon.
Xander spoke up. “No girlfriend.”
She relaxed a tad. “Oh good, they broke up. I won’t be the other woman.”
“There is no other woman,” Xander said. “Never has been.”
“And even if he had a girlfriend,” Loren continued, “she wouldn’t have been allowed on campus. Only authorized matches.”
She bit her lip and tried to understand what they were telling her. “So he lied to me about his girlfriend?”
Emma and Loren nodded.
“Why?” She answered her own question before they could. “So I’d accept his gifts.” She explained to the small group who looked at her with blank faces. “He had shampoo, razors, lotion, deodorant and lots of stuff I didn’t own or have room to pack. He must have raced to buy it all while you were giving me the tour,” she said to Loren.
She nodded. “That’s why he asked me to give as long a tour as possible. That is so Rowan. He’s so generous.”
The others murmured their agreement. It made Jill both happy and uncomfortable to think of Rowan that way. It did funny things to her heart. She couldn’t reconcile the strong, tough–looking man with the kind sensitive acts he seemed to do without any ulterior motive. Take her for example. He’d known her all of ten minutes when he’d championed her and fought for her to find safety on campus. It was hard to believe a complete stranger would protect her and care for her when no one else had lifted a finger.
“Can I ask you all a question?” No one responded so she took it to mean yes. “How did Rowan lose his arm? Was it on a mission?”
Silence.
“Is this classified information?”
Loren finally answered. “Yes. And no.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Rowan’s arm is a birth defect. He was born like that.”
“Really?” She took a minute to process. “But he’s a genetically enhanced soldier. How can he be flawed?”
“Do you see him as flawed?” Scary Xander asked from his corner.
She tried and failed to meet his steady gaze. “No. I think he’s strong and fine. But missing a limb is a flaw by definition, right? How did that happen?”
“You need to talk to Rowan,” Loren said.
“Oh. Okay,” she said, but she knew she wouldn’t. At least not anytime soon. Rowan had seemed sensitive about his arm. He’d been so angry when she admitted she’d seen it as a weakness. “Do you think he and Adam are okay? I’d feel horrible if they got hurt because they were trying to help me.”
Xander rose and stepped to Emma. “Two enhanced trained soldiers against a Reg? Your man’ll be fine.” He grabbed Emma by the hand and walked out without a farewell. Emma managed to give a sympathetic squeeze to Jill’s arm as she passed.