His anger was starting to build, and he suddenly realized how careful he always was around Jill. How he treated her like some fragile flower he shouldn’t ruffle. God, he was an idiot. What had he been thinking? That he was going to live the rest of his life in hiding, always swallowing back strong feelings for fear he’d send Jill running into the night? “I’m talking about your little plan with Doctor Wise. My brother’s sperm,” he added, when she continued to stare at him with a blank look.
“You’re going to have my brother’s baby,” he finally shouted, losing his hold on his temper. “What the fuck, Jill? What kind of crazy bitch does that?”
Her eyes narrowed at him, and he realized they were now standing toe–to–toe shouting at each other, neither showing signs of backing down. So much for his fragile flower.
“I…” she shook her head. “No.” Another violent head shake. “Fuck you, Rowan. Fuck you for believing I’d do that to you.”
“I know what I heard, Jill. You told Doctor Wise you’d consider letting her implant Adam’s sperm instead of mine.”
“Because I didn’t know what else to say,” she shouted back.
“How about no?” Their voices were loud enough that all the soldiers in their building could hear.
“Really?” Sarcasm dripped from her words. “I was new on campus, Rowan, and I wasn’t welcome. Some senior doctor told me her plan. What was I supposed to do? I thought it was disgusting, but I didn’t know if she had the seniority to kick me out if I didn’t agree.”
“You should’ve come to me,” he argued, but some of the wind was getting knocked out of his sails. Had he misinterpreted the situation? Was Jill not the two–faced liar he’d accused her of being?
“Probably,” she said, “but I was trying to be kind.”
“By lying to me?”
“By protecting you. I know how much you love it here, and I know how sensitive you are about your arm. I didn’t want you to know the doctors didn’t want you to have kids. I tried to protect you, Rowan.”
He felt his lips part. “Jill.” He reached for her, but she slapped his arm away.
“No. Don’t touch me. I’ve already been touched by a man who betrayed me today.” She shook him off, grabbed her purse off the bed and sprinted out the doorway.
“Jill,” he yelled. “Come back. We’re not finished talking about this.”
It was muffled, but he heard her shout back, “We’re finished Rowan.” Another door slammed, and she was gone.
Holy shit. In the space of four minutes he’d gone from outrage to bewilderment. What the hell had just happened? He’d been in the right. She was the wrong party. So why the hell did he feel like the biggest loser and guilty as sin? He stood in his room, stunned, trying to figure out how he’d just become the perpetrator of a crime when he realized Jill had left, and not just left the room. She’d taken her purse, which meant she’d left, left. As in ran off campus.
She could escape anywhere. Shit, it was his mother and father all over again. Only this time he was going after his woman. Rowan ran out of the room, guessing which direction she’d gone. There was not a second of relief or happiness she’d run away. Instead it was complete and total panic. He was nutso for the woman, and he’d fucked up bad by accusing her without hearing her side first. Shit.
He made it to the garage and was jumping into his SUV when Shep caught up to him. “Gotta go, Shep. No time to talk.”
“I just saw Jill running, but you’ve got all the time in the world to go after her,” the commander said and handed him a small device that looked like a normal cell phone. “Use this.”
He squinted down at it.
“Jill took a car. I gave her use of a car this morning, and she took it just now,” Shep said.
A slow smile spread as understanding dawned. “I can track the car.”
Shep nodded. “She probably hasn’t guessed. Give her a head start to cool off, then go bring your match back.”
Forget waiting. He wanted her back now. He clutched the tracker as he climbed into his car, then leaned out the open door as something occurred to him. “Shep?”
The older man turned back. “What?”
“Doctor Wise doesn’t think I should breed. The orders didn’t come from you, did they? To substitute Adam’s kid for mine?”
They were eye to eye when Shep stepped back to answer. “What are you talking about?”
“Doctor Wise.” He explained when Shep gave him a blank look.
“No Rowan. I’m sorry you place so little value on what you bring to The Program.”
He digested that compliment for a second, still not quite believing it. “But I’m only an okay fighter.” He lifted his partial arm. “What do I bring to the team?”
“Your brains, Rowan,” Shep explained. “You and your brother are the best strategists I’ve ever met. Only you have a slight edge over Adam.”
“I do? He’s been training for more than a decade. I’m still new.”
“Exactly,” Shep said. “Your thinking is more creative, because you’ve never been told the right or wrong way to do something. You look at a problem with a different view than everyone else, and that makes you incredibly valuable. No one else would’ve demanded we give shelter to a married woman, but you did. And guess what? Best decision ever. Your woman changed the public opinion of our Program and the sentiment in Congress has changed from defunding us to upping our budget.”
“For real?”
“For real.” Shep imitated his street drawl. “Now go bring your woman back or I’m going to have to hear your dad bitch for the next thirty years.”
He grinned at his boss, and got the car in gear after powering on the GPS. The map showed Jill as a moving dot along the main road. It almost looked as if she were driving to her job. He gave the pedal a push and went after his woman.
* * * * *
“Shep. Wait up. We’ve got to talk to you.”
Commander Shepard turned slowly around in the shadow of the campus garage and saw Adam, Xander, and Ryan coming toward him with purpose. If he hadn’t known these men since infancy, he might’ve been scared at how menacing they looked. None looked happy. The talk they wanted wasn’t about the upcoming Easter egg hunt.
“I have a meeting in five, but I can walk and talk. What’s going on?”
“It’s Wise,” Adam said, taking the lead as the team captain he was.
Shep listened, but he’d known this day was coming. Olympia had been a problem for some time. “What has she done now?”
“She shared personal medical information about Emma,” Xander said.
“She told Jill to use my sperm instead of Rowan’s,” Adam said. “Ryan just told me. And that’s why Jill ran, right?”
Shep frowned. “I didn’t know that’s why Jill ran. I thought it was Rowan being Rowan. I’d run, too.” No one laughed at his jest.
“We want Wise gone, Shep,” Ryan said. “My wife has to face her every day at work. And considering what Wise said about the pregnancy…I think it makes it a hostile work environment.”
There’d be a rebellion on his hands if he let Doctor Wise stay, but there’d be worse problems if he let her go. “She can’t leave the campus, boys. She knows too much. What do you suggest I do?”
“Kill her?” Xander said with a look in his eye that said he’d be happy to commit the murder.
Adam looked unhappy, but he said, “You’re right. We can’t let her work elsewhere. Put her in a lab on research. She can’t be our doctor anymore.”
It was a good suggestion. “I’ll consider it.” He glanced at his watch. “Now I have to go.” He walked away from his soldiers, leaving them muttering among themselves.
* * * * *
Jill turned into the Ikea parking lot with her tires releasing a protesting squeal. She knew she’d have to return The Program car tomorrow, but for tonight, it was her bedroom. Luckily the cold winter had melted into a slightly warmer spring, so she shouldn’t freeze too badly. She’d been stupid running out on Rowan without a plan or even a blanket.
She wasn’t senior enough to have a key to let herself into the store and sleep in the employee lounge. That would’ve been nice instead of facing a night pretending to sleep on the folded down seats in the back of the SUV. The car lurched as she slammed on the brakes and turned the key, shutting it off. Adrenaline and anger had carried her from Rowan’s room and on the drive, but now that she’d arrived, she wanted to curl into a ball and cry for a long, long time.
She was so stupid. How could she have thought that she’d run from one horrible man only to find the perfect man? There was no such thing. She was the fool for having fallen in love in what was supposed to be the rebound relationship. A woman shouldn’t go from a six–year marriage straight into a commitment with another man, even if he was her scientifically approved perfect match. She gave a bitter laugh and muttered, “Perfect match,” putting air quotes around the words. Perfect match, her ass. She might have beautiful babies with Rowan, but if he were truly her perfect match, he never would have accused her of doing something so heinous. His lack of trust in her hurt. He was a total dick for thinking she was the kind of person who would betray him by having his brother’s baby. It sounded like something out of a soap opera or bad movie.
A knock at her window had her screaming and diving for her phone to call 911.
“Jill, it’s me.”
Rowan’s familiar voice calmed her pounding heart, and she sat, turning to face the window. He stood outside, pressing his face against the glass looking handsome. He’d broken her heart; he should at least have the courtesy to look like a monster. But no, his dark curls blew gently in the breeze that had turned chilly in the night. He wasn’t wearing a coat, which told her he’d come running after her.
Funny, she’d checked the rearview mirror constantly, but hadn’t seen him following. She’d also been sure she’d made it to the garage and out before he’d made it out of the apartment. “How did you find me?”
He held up a small electronic device. “GPS,” he shouted through the glass. “Can I come in? We need to talk.”
“Fine.” She pressed the button to unlock the doors and watched as he walked around the front of the SUV and hopped into the passenger side.
The door slammed close and she shivered against the breeze that entered with him. “I wasn’t going to steal the car, you know.”
“I know.” He sounded way too calm. She was ruffled and bothered inside. It wasn’t fair that he sounded like this was a normal conversation. “I didn’t follow you to get the car back. I came after
you
.”
“I know.” She tried to sound as cool as he had, but probably failed. She wasn’t cool to begin with. “You hurt me,” she blurted.
“I’m so sorry. It’s killing me, baby.”
“You jumped to think the worst about me and didn’t talk to me first to see if it was true.” Her hands gripped the steering wheel, leaving her knuckles white.
She shrugged off his hand when he tried to brush her hair off her shoulders. “Hear me out, Jill.”
She kept her eyes forward, staring at the passing cars on the nearby busy road. Looking at Rowan was difficult; he was too tempting. The urge to let him comfort her and soothe her with words was seductive.
“I realized on the drive over here that my jumping to the wrong conclusion and believing that you would let Doctor Wise implant you with Adam’s sperm had nothing to do with you and everything to do with me,” he said.
Her glance slid over to him then back to the road. “What do you mean?”
“I believed you would do it, because…it’s what I would do.”
She spun her head to stare at him. “What?”
“You heard me. Doctor Wise offered you an out. How could I blame you for taking it?”
“But she wanted to trick you. She was going to let you raise children thinking they were yours.”
In the shadowy car, his expression looked grimmer than she’d ever seen him. “I’ve lived my whole life minus a body part. I know how hard it can be, so how can I willingly wish that on my own children?”
She opened her mouth to protest, but he kept talking. “I’m not saying I hate myself or anything. Mostly I’m over feeling sorry for myself about being handicapped. I live a good life. But do you know how it would feel watching my kids struggle with the same things I had to learn?”
“Rowan…”
“So, yeah, I got on my high horse and got pissed. It was easy to blame you because then I didn’t have to admit a part of me would’ve been relieved if you’d accepted Wise’s deal and never told me.”
“I could never deceive you like that,” she said.
“I know. I think I always knew, but I couldn’t admit it.”
She was now swiveled in the driver’s seat facing him. The seatbelt cut into her neck snapped her back into the seat, and she found her first glimmer at humor in hours. “Ow,” she said, unclicking. “Rowan, you’re an amazing man. Your children are going to be lucky to have you as a dad.”
“Ours.”
“Huh?”
“Our children. I’m not ever having kids unless it’s with you Jill. I was in my car and coming after you ten seconds after you left. The only reason I didn’t catch up sooner was because Shep stopped me to talk.”
“What did he want?”
“To give me the tracking device. He wants you back on campus. Please say you’ll come. I’ll live with you anywhere, but I’d prefer to be near Adam and my dad.”
She was having trouble wrapping her brain around the fact that her cool, confident Rowan harbored such doubts about his arm. She knew he’d felt lacking within his role at The Program, but she hadn’t dreamed it extended to his views on parenthood. The hurt and anger she’d gathered when he’d accused her of deceit drowned under a wave of tenderness for Rowan. She thought about her life on the campus and the friends she’d made. She couldn’t imagine, and didn’t want to, living anywhere else. “Okay.”
“Okay?” He grinned at her, but his eyes looked worried.
“Absolutely, but what about our kids? If you feel really strongly about it, and Adam and Loren agree, I guess we can use Adam’s DNA when we decide to have children, but I’d prefer you to be the biological father.”
“It’s a risk,” he warned.
“I know, but it’s worth it. I love you, Rowan, and the world needs more men like you.”
“We’ve got time to discuss it, since we’re not having kids today. Or planning to, but I think we should practice.” He grinned. “Can I kiss you now?”