04 - Born to be Wilde.txt (41 page)

After a short while, he lifted his head and glanced down at her face. Their gazes met and held in the soft lamplight, and the emotional intensity in his eyes, the heat and passion still glittering in the depths—all for her—was unlike anything she'd ever seen or felt before.

Tenderly, he brushed away a few wayward curls from her cheek and smiled at her. "You were so worth the wait," he said softly, reverently. "In every way."

She knew he wasn't just referring to the sex, and she was amazed at his ability to make her feel so much emotion, to make her heart so full.

In that moment, she knew it was this man who finally made her whole and complete. And no one else would ever come close.

"JEEZ, Wilde Man, you'd think by that dark look on your face we were heading to a funeral, instead of a strip club." Kevin gave Joel a firm shove in the arm. "Cheer up, will ya?"

Joel grunted in reply and pushed his hands into the front pockets of his jeans as they walked toward the entrance to Leather and Lace, a classy gentlemen's club where the guys had decided to spend the evening. Reluctantly, and after much ribbing, Joel had agreed to accompany his buddies, but now he was rethinking his decision. He wasn't great company these days, not since walking out on Lora three weeks ago, and he would have rather spent the evening alone, wallowing in his own misery.

"You'd think after that new three-week security case you just finished you'd be ready to appreciate some fine pieces of ass," Jon added with a lively grin. "And let me tell you, they've got nothing but the finest here."

"Oh, yeah," Kevin agreed with a cocky swagger. "We're about to see a bunch of naked women!"

Kevin and Jon glanced at each other and let out a jovial "ooh-rah!" at the same time, using the Marine Corps warrior cry to express their joint approval and enthusiasm.

Joel laughed and shook his head at his friends' ridiculous antics, then suddenly realized that Ben wasn't sharing in their enthusiasm. Oh, he'd definitely voted to hang out at the strip club, but it was apparent that Ben had something on his mind. That, and he was watching Joel too damn speculatively, which was starting to annoy the hell out of Joel.

Jon smirked. "I'm telling you, if Crimson Rose doesn't get a rise out of Joel, I'm writing him off as a lost cause."

Joel had heard enough about "Crimson Rose" to know that she was the star attraction at Leather and Lace on the weekends. He also knew the man who ran the establishment, a comrade from their time in Iraq, and since it had been a while since he'd seen him, he wondered if he might be there tonight.

As soon as the door opened to the club, they were greeted by a loud blast of music and a big hulk of a bouncer. Jon, Ben, and Kevin filtered inside the joint, and Joel stopped to talk to the bouncer.

"Would Nick Santori happen to be here tonight?" Joel asked.

"Sure thing," the guy replied with a nod. "He's around here somewhere. I'll let him know you're looking for him."

"Great, thanks."

Joel followed his buddies toward the bar, drawing stares from other patrons, which wasn't an unusual reaction when the four of them were together. Being ex-marines, they all possessed that military demeanor and confident attitude, and as a group in a male-dominated club, it was four times the intimidation factor.

"Semper fi, man."

Joel turned at the sound of the male voice, loud enough to be heard above the noise and music, and upon seeing his old friend, he extended his hand in greeting. "Hey, Nick."

The other man shook his hand in a firm grip. "Been a long time, Joel."

Joel nodded. "I figured I'd come in and see why this was so much better than coming to work with me at ESS."

As Nick acknowledged the other guys, Jon glanced toward the stage where a leggy redhead was stripped down to a rhinestone G-string and equally sparkly pasties. "I think I'm catching the vision," Jon said with a wolfish grin.

"What can I say?" Nick shrugged his wide shoulders. "I've settled down, become respectable." He grinned like the lucky man that he was. "And the little woman didn't want me doing anything as risky as working security with you guys."

Joel chuckled, but he could definitely understand the appeal of Nick's job.

His friend gestured to one of the hostesses and told her to get the four of them a good table. But just as the scantily clad woman started to lead them away, Nick stopped Joel one more time.

"Seriously, thanks for offering to let me in, but I'm pretty happy with what I'm doing."

"Got it," Joel said, though he wanted to make sure that the offer stood indefinitely. "Still, if you ever change your mind…" Pulling a crisp, white business card from the inside of his leather jacket, he handed it to Nick.

"Elite Security Specialists," he murmured, then glanced back at Joel and gave him a brief nod. "I'll keep it in mind."

Reaching out with his elbow bent and arm up, Joel grasped the other man's hand again in a brothers-of-the-field handshake, then went to join his group. He took the last vacant chair and ordered a bottle of Sam Adams from a cocktail waitress, who gave him a sultry once over, which did nothing to pique his interest or libido, despite her incredibly short shorts and tight white blouse that left little to the imagination.

Once she moved on to the next table, he slumped back in his seat, feeling oddly disconnected from everything around him. Or maybe it was more that he'd disconnected himself from everything but work, because the swank club not only catered to a customer's comfort and pleasure, but the women were centerfold gorgeous, and their barely there costumes should have gotten some kind of reaction out of him.

He watched a perky cheerleader strip off the seemingly innocent trappings of a schoolgirl, and sat through the performance of a cowgirl who knew how to straddle more than the brass pole in the middle of the stage. By the time a female cop ripped off her velcro uniform and pranced around in little more than her birthday suit, Joel was done with his beer, and done with the whole stripper gig. It just wasn't doing a thing for him.

"I'm outta here," he said, and started to stand.

Jon grabbed his forearm and yanked him back down into his seat. "You can't go anywhere until you've seen Crimson Rose perform, and she's up next. Trust me, this babe is hot, and well worth the wait."

Joel rolled his eyes, but reclined in his chair once more, just to be a good sport. The show began, and out strolled a curvaceous woman wearing red and pink rose petals all over her body, and a red velvet, rhinestone mask that only left her red lips and jaw visible, giving her an air of mystery, unlike all the other strippers, who'd bared all.

Jon and Kevin watched the show avidly, and while Ben seemed to enjoy the show, he was much more subdued and indifferent than their friends, which Joel found curious.

Within a few minutes, the woman's costume was down to a few rose petals and some colorful body art and a trailing vine. The mask remained in place, and Joel had to admit that she was definitely exotic and gorgeous and had a body that made a man think of every carnal sin, but the truth of the matter was that the only woman who filled his nightly dreams and haunted him during the day was Lora. Everything about her, from her smile to her scent to the way she understood him like no other, was embedded in his brain—and, he feared, his heart.

He'd spent three weeks working an on-site security case, thinking that the time away would clear his head and give him the space he needed to put everything back into perspective again after his time with Lora. No such luck. He used to be a carefree bachelor who would have thoroughly enjoyed a boys' night out like this, but all he was now was a miserable, moody son of a bitch.

The performance ended, and so did Joel's patience. This time when he stood, nobody tried to stop him. "I'm heading out," he said, and tossed down enough money to cover his beer and a generous tip. "I'll catch a cab back to my place, so you guys stay and enjoy the rest of the show."

Jon and Kevin stared at him as if he'd lost his mind for walking out on a bunch of naked women, and when Joel glanced at Ben, the other man was sitting very quietly in his seat with a knowing look on his face. Out of the three of them, Ben had a way of reading him the best, and Joel turned and walked toward the exit before Ben could call him on his pensive mood.

He stepped outside and dragged a much-needed deep breath of cool air into his lungs. Just as he reached into his jacket pocket to retrieve his cell phone and make a call for a cab, the main doors opened again and Ben started toward where he was walking along the side of the club.

"Hey, wait up," Ben said, picking up his pace to join him.

Joel stopped and groaned, seeing his moment of solitude, and his quick getaway, vanishing like the thin night air. "Yeah, what's up?"

The parking lot lights illuminated the concern in Ben's eyes. "I just want to make sure everything's okay. I don't think I've ever seen you walk out of a strip club before closing time," he added with a grin.

Joel sighed heavily and rubbed at the tension gathering at the back of his neck. "I'm fine. Just tired."

Ben raised a brow, clearly not believing the excuse. "It's Lora, isn't it?"

Just hearing her name aloud was enough to cause his stomach to clench, and he cut his gaze to Ben, unsure where this conversation was heading. And he certainly wasn't going to make any assumptions. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, come off it, Joel," Ben said candidly, and braced his hands on his hips. "You know damn well what I'm talking about. You've been sulking around since we wrapped everything up with Zach and you ended things with Lora."

Joel glared at him. "I don't sulk."

"Yeah, whatever," the other man said with a wave of his hand. "The point is, you're being a stubborn ass about the whole thing."

"What do you know about it?" he asked, annoyed as hell at Ben's accusation.

Ben braced his legs apart and crossed his arms over his chest. "Remember that night you brought Lora to Nick's Sports Bar?"

There wasn't a moment that he'd spent with Lora that he'd forgotten, that night especially. "Yeah, I remember."

"It was so obvious that the two of you were attracted to one another, Are you telling me that nothing happened between you and Lora while you were protecting her?"

Joel stiffened, feeling way too transparent and not liking it one bit. "That's none of your fucking business."

His friend took his reply as an affirmative, and did nothing to disguise his smug look. "Yeah, I thought so."

Joel bit back another rude expletive telling Ben exactly where to go, and how to get there in blunt, precise terms.

Ben tipped his head and studied him reflectively. "Judging by what a prickly S.O.B. you've been lately, I'm going to take a wild guess and say that you fucked things up with her, didn't you?"

If Ben weren't such a good friend, Joel would have hauled off and decked him—as much to release some frustration as to get him to back off of the subject. "Leave it alone," he warned.

"Why? Because you can't handle the truth?" Ben laughed, clearly not afraid of Joel and his threat—and he had no reason to be, since they were pretty well matched in strength. "She's a great girl. You know it. I know it. Hell, even those two womanizers in there know it," he added, hooking a thumb back toward the club to indicate Jon and Kevin. "What the hell's holding you back?"

That was the question Joel dreaded, because it dug up issues he'd been running from his entire life. Painful, emotional issues he'd been too afraid to deal with, and instead had walked away from the one woman who'd cared enough to see beyond his reckless, military façade to the real man beneath.

She'd been so fearless in risking her heart for him, and even though he knew he felt the same for her, he hadn't been able to bring himself to say the words, or stay. No, he'd taken the coward's way out and bolted for the door in an attempt to put as much distance as possible between himself and those fears that were all but strangling him.

A man on the outside, always looking in. Truer words had never been spoken. Since his mother's death, keeping himself apart had become an automatic response for him, a way of protecting his emotions as a young boy, then later in life with women and relationships. Holding himself at a distance had even served him well in the military, and had become a way to insulate himself from the pain and anguish that came from being such a vital part of the war, and seeing good men die.

Yet as he looked at Ben, a man he'd served in the war with, a man who he'd trusted with his life and more, Joel realized that the bond he shared with Ben, Jon, Kevin, and even Zach was stronger than the one he had with his own brothers. These men would do anything for him, and vice versa, but for as close as he was with them, the day had come when that comradery and friendship just wasn't enough.

And if he didn't act for himself now, one day each of these men would create lives of their own that would hopefully include wives and children, and he'd be all alone, once again on the outside looking in. Being the confirmed bachelor he'd always sworn he' would be… with absolutely nothing to show for it.

No one to love, cherish, and care for.

And more than anything, he wanted that person to be Lora. She, out of all the women who'd come and gone throughout the years, had understood him like no other, and had given him that sense of belonging he'd craved, but that had eluded him for too long. Until her, there had never been another woman whom he thought was worth putting his heart and emotions on the line for.