Authors: Wodke Hawkinson
Zeke stared into her eyes intently
but finally accepted her words. “Okay. Well, let’s get this over with.”
Sue grabbed the pills and a tampon
and headed for the restroom, relief filling her with hope. She had some cash
now, if she could only find a way to get away from Zeke. Her mood lifted a
little at the thought as she formulated a secret plan, a plan to escape, to get
on a plane and fly home. She would forget about Zeke, never speak of their
crimes, and keep their shameful sexual exploits to herself. Go back to college,
catch up on her classes. Then, her life would return to normal and she could
pretend the last few months had never happened.
Sue grabbed the door to the restroom
and found it unlocked. Zeke followed, boldly entering the women’s bathroom with
her. “The pills first.”
With a defiant glare, Sue popped
them into her mouth, bent over the sink, filled her hands with water, and
washed them down.
Grabbing her cheeks, Zeke forced
her mouth open. “Lift your tongue.”
Sue complied.
Once Zeke was convinced she had
swallowed the drugs, he leaned against the wall and looked at Sue
questioningly. “I thought you needed to stuff a roll of cotton up your hole.
You going do it, or what?”
“Can’t you wait outside?”
“You know the answer to that so get
with it.”
Self-consciously, Sue pulled her
skirt up, reached between her legs, and slipped the tampon home. She stood and
hurried to the sink, washed her hands quickly, and practically ran from the
building with Zeke hot on her heels.
An elderly woman waiting outside
gasped when she saw Zeke exit the ladies’ room.
Zeke covered his mouth in pretend
shock. “Oh my heavens!” he said in a girlish squeal. “Isn’t this the
men’s
restroom? How could I make such a
horrible
mistake?”
Zeke laughed at the woman’s
discomfiture as he caught up with Sue.
“Did you see the look that old bag
gave me?” He guided Sue to the van. “Priceless. Maybe I ought to go back and
give her the thrill of her life.” He rubbed the front of his jeans
suggestively. “What do you think?”
Sue’s mind scrambled for a
response, trying to outmaneuver Zeke’s bizarre thought process. Shrugging, she
replied with a deliberately casual tone, “Sure. But she’s probably going in
there to change her Depends or something. Old people can’t control their bowels
very well.”
Zeke paused to stare at Sue.
“That’s gross as hell.”
“I know. You should try cleaning up
after them.”
Zeke opened the van door and pushed
Sue inside. “Well, I think I’ll pass. I can’t believe you wanted me to hit on
that. You’re a kinky girl, Sue.” He smiled. “But then, that’s one thing I like
about you.”
Sue stared straight ahead and
swallowed her disgust.
“We have to get out of this city,”
Zeke grumbled over coffee.
Sue took a sip of cola. She’d
refused to drink mocha-flavored coffee and had been surprised when Zeke
relented. She had finally determined by looking at store signs that they were
somewhere in Nashville.
They had been sitting in this internet
café for over an hour now, and he hadn’t been able to catch the eye of any of
the other customers. They were all too intent on their screens. He was still in
trolling mode, searching for lone girls that might be willing to spend time
with him and Sue.
Sue descended into a protective
numbness and clung to it like drowning cat to a piece of dead wood. The Xanax
was taking effect and she found herself relaxing.
Zeke was increasingly agitated and
morose. He bit her head off at the slightest provocation.
“We could get a motel room and
leave first thing in the morning.” Sue indulged a surge of hope as she made the
suggestion. As soon as he fell asleep, she’d run.
He stared at her malevolently, and
she slumped lower into her seat.
“I call
all
the shots, Sue.
I’d have thought you’d have that figured out by now.” He caressed his jacket
pocket.
A small chill snaked up her back as
the reality of her predicament slammed home.
“I should have left you when I had
the chance.” Sue was dismayed at the tremble in her voice. She had wanted to
sound strong, determined.
“Seriously? And when exactly was
that?” He stared at her, his expression challenging. Their eyes locked.
“Lots of times. I didn’t have to
stay with you.”
“So you think you just made the
wrong choice. Is that it?”
Sue nodded. “I should have left.”
“Maybe you should have.” He was
somber, thoughtful.
Suddenly he grinned. “I just can’t
keep a straight face. I tried, but I can’t pull it off. Come here.” He leaned
over the table as if about to reveal a secret. Sue bent close to listen. He
lowered his voice to a whisper. “You really think you had a choice? Anywhere
along the way? Do you really believe I’d let you go? You’re
mine
, Sue.
Body and soul.”
He chuckled at Sue’s shocked
expression.
Several customers glanced up at the
sound of his mirth and then turned back to their screens. Sue considered
screaming for help. Then she thought about the clerk at the counter calling the
police and the natural progression of events after that. She’d go to jail, but
it might not be so bad. At least, she’d be away from Zeke, the man she thought
she knew, this lunatic who was disintegrating before her eyes. She only had to
rise quickly from the chair, run to the counter, and ask someone to call 911.
She didn’t know why she hesitated, but she sat as if paralyzed.
Zeke regarded her with a knowing
look, as if he perceived her thoughts. “See the guy over there at that table?”
he said softly, gesturing to a young man wearing a worn suit. “Probably got a
wife at home, couple of little kids. If you make a scene, I’ll walk right over
there and stab him in the throat. I swear I will, Sue. You want his death on
your conscience?”
Sue’s heart thudded painfully.
“No,” she whispered.
“I got Big Ben right here. Want to
see?”
She shook her head, terrified.
“Lighten up.” His smile teased her;
it held a trace of the old charm. “I’m just messing with you. We’ll get a room
if we can find one that’ll take cash. Come on.”
He closed out the website he’d been
scanning, got up, and slung his bag over his shoulder. Sue sat as if cemented
to the chair.
“Come on, baby.” He put out his
hand and she slowly took it and stood. Holding her fingers in a tight grip,
Zeke led her from the establishment. She felt as if she were threading her way
through a tangle of downed power lines and one false move would zap her from
existence. Still, she put one foot ahead of the other and they passed into the
night.
They drove for several hours after
leaving the coffee shop, and Sue had spent most of that time huddled in back on
the grubby mattress, getting out only to use the bathroom at a deserted rest
area. Zeke had been darkly silent, giving no clue as to his thoughts. Sue did
her best not to antagonize him. Her frazzled mind groped through her options,
settling on and then discarding plan after plan. She finally decided to pretend
that she believed he was only kidding. Of course, it may be too late for
pretense. But Zeke was unhinged. He might believe her. It would buy her some
time to find an opportunity to escape. She only wished it all were a joke, just
one big, twisted, humorless joke. She dozed off and on, but her sleep was full
of disturbing dreams.
By the time they got a motel, her
uncertainty and fear had resolved into resignation. She once again had no idea
what town they were in; she had lost track of what day it was. When they
entered their room, Zeke locked the door and then turned to her, his expression
relaxed.
“Well, this room’s not too bad.”
In Sue’s opinion, the room was
seedy and not nearly as clean as the previous one, but their choices were
limited without a credit card. Nevertheless, she nodded at Zeke’s comment but
kept her assessment to herself.
He walked to the phone on the
nightstand, unhooked the receiver from the cord, and stuffed it into his duffel
bag before tossing it in the corner. Sue watched his actions without a word.
“Just making sure you don’t make
any more reckless phone calls.”
“I wouldn’t. I’ve learned my
lesson, Zeke.”
“Well, you know how impulsive you are.”
Zeke tapped his head with a finger. “Short on brains.”
Sue absorbed this insult with no
comment. The drugs had left her dizzy and she knew arguing with him was not
only futile, but dangerous.
Taking his wallet from his back
pocket, Zeke rifled through it, finally pulling out a folded piece of paper.
Its edges were frayed and it looked as if it had been handled many times. He
unfolded the sheet and pushed it toward Sue.
“Take a look.” His tone was
conversational.
It was an old flyer with MISSING
printed across the top. Below that was a grainy photo of a young girl with dark
hair in barrettes and wide, innocent eyes. A single cross earring dangled from
her left ear. Following the picture was the information: Daisy Swak, age
seventeen. Beneath that, a hotline phone number.
“What is this?” Sue reached for the
flyer and studied it. Coldness crept over her. “Someone you knew?”
“Oh, I knew her all right.” Zeke’s
voice was low and strange. “I knew little Miss Daisy real well.”
“Did they ever find her?” Sue asked,
hoping this was just another of his games.
“Nope.” Zeke took the paper from
Sue’s hand, folded it, and tucked it back inside his wallet.
“Was she a friend of yours?” Sue’s
mouth was dry, and her brain clamored for the response she knew Zeke expected.
“You might say we were friendly.”
Zeke’s mouth stretched into a small tight grin as he slid the wallet into his
back pocket. “Yea, you might say that.”
“Do you know where she is?” Sue
felt shaky inside, dreading his answer.
“I know where she is. And I’m going
to show you, just as soon as it’s light outside.”
Sue’s heart slammed in her chest,
and she sucked in her breath.
Don’t let her be dead, don’t let her be dead.
She
automatically turned toward the door.
Zeke’s hand reached out and snagged
her arm. He held her in a tight grip. “Going somewhere?” His gaze was
penetrating.
She shook her head, her palms
breaking out in a sweat. It seemed to her that whatever was wrong with Zeke was
accelerating, spiraling. And there was definitely something wrong with him; she
knew that now. But, she told herself he could be just playing games with her.
She had been around him enough by this time to understand it was something he
enjoyed. It was cruel, but basically harmless. Comforting herself with this
inane assumption, she tried to appear calmer than she felt. She didn’t want to
aggravate him.
“I only wanted to get a soda.” When
he continued to stare, she said, “From the machine we passed on the way in. Do
you want one?”
“What did you plan on buying a
drink with? Your good looks? Well, let me tell you something, Susie. Your looks
wouldn’t buy you a pile of shit.”
Sue’s face burned with humiliation.
She stared at the floor.
“You look like a deer in
headlights.” He loosened his grip on her arm. “You can’t ever seem to tell when
I’m just fucking with you. Let’s go together to get the drinks. Then, why don’t
you go take a shower? It’ll relax you.” He let go of her and opened the door.
It only took a few minutes to make their purchase and reenter the room. Zeke
started taking off his clothes.
Sue sighed with relief, as the
tension that had been building ebbed, at least for the time being. She tried to
smile at him as she opened her Coke and took a sip. Zeke totally ignored her as
she walked shakily to the small bathroom. Once there, she set her drink on the
counter and collapsed onto the side of the tub.
She slipped from her skirt and
blouse after closing and locking the flimsy door. Stepping into the shower, Sue
used the noise of its spray to cover her sobs.
How am I going to get out of
here? How can I get away?
No answer came, and eventually Sue turned off the
cooling water and slipped into a short nightshirt, wishing she still owned some
underwear. She tugged at the hem of the shirt until she’d stretched it out of
shape and managed to gain an inch or so of length, enough to give her a small
amount of comfort.
“Aren’t you going to sleep?” she
asked Zeke a short time later, her voice timid. He had just made love to her
with tenderness reminiscent of the beginning of their affair. He whispered
sweet words of affection that would have been accepted more easily if not for
all he had put her through. It threw her off, though, and made her doubt her
own beliefs. Maybe she was imagining him being mean. But no, she couldn’t
forget those minutes in the van after he’d found out she’d called home. She
wouldn’t forget that, ever.
“I’m too hyped up,” he said as he
fidgeted. “You sleep, though. You need your rest, bunny.”
Sue surprised herself by doing just
that. In her dreams, she was running. Running, but she felt mired down and no
matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get away.
When Sue woke, a pale light framed
the edges of the cheap curtains. It was hard to tell whether it was morning or
afternoon, but the day had an dreary feel to it. Zeke was sitting in the chair
staring at her. She got up and went into the bathroom. She could hear Zeke’s
voice, talking low, whispering. He was just hanging up the phone when she came
out.
“Get dressed,” he told her as he
put the receiver back into his bag. “We have an errand to run.”
“Okay.” The digital clock on Zeke’s
side of the bed said 9:10. It was morning. Yawning, she asked, “What errand?”