I jumped awake with a little squeal. “Julian!”
“Shh!” he said, lightly putting his fingers to my lips.
My heart was flying seeing his dark figure kneeling beside my bed. “You scared me to death,” I whispered.
“I’m taking off.”
“What?” I frowned, sliding out of the bed to the floor beside him. I was only wearing a sleep shirt and panties, but in the dim light, I didn’t think he couldn’t see.
He cupped my cheek in his hand and gave me a soft kiss. “I can’t sleep. I’m heading back to my house.”
“But how? Your car…” Then my eyes narrowed. “Were you really faking all that?”
“No way,” he chuckled, and his hand slid down my arm. A little shiver moved through me. I liked having him in my room like this, even if it made me a little nervous.
“I’ll walk,” he whispered. “It’s not so far, and I’m all keyed up anyway.”
“Julian!” My fingers quickly closed around his arm, holding him still. “That’s at least ten miles! You can’t walk that far in the middle of the night.”
He exhaled. “I’ll be fine.”
“But what if you got mugged? And how will you get your car back?”
“Pick me up in the morning.” He kissed my cheek and started to stand. “Listen, Anna, I’m totally wired. I can’t just lie downstairs in the dark staring at the ceiling. Climb back in.”
He held my blankets up, and I slipped between them. Then he leaned against the bedside so our faces were close together. “Now get some sleep,” he whispered, kissing my nose.
I propped up on my elbows. “Please tell me what’s wrong.”
He shook his head. “It’s probably just coming down after tonight. You know.”
“Probably?” My hand returned to his arm, and I rubbed it up and down.
He was quiet a few minutes, then he started. “I was just thinking about everything that happened and me and who I am and what this is all about.” He paused.
I wasn’t sure if he’d continue, but I hoped… “And?” I said softly.
“And I’m nobody, Anna.” His voice was different. An edge was in it I’d only heard once before. “All these people are making this big deal about me, and what if they’re wrong? What if I’ve had all the great ideas I’m ever going to have? They want more, but I don’t have a single idea of anything new I’d like to do. I feel like… like that car out there. Stalling.”
For a moment, I was quiet. He didn’t say anything more either, and the only thing in my brain was one thing I’d promised to keep secret.
I pulled his hand to my lips and kissed it. “I can tell you two things,” I said. “You’re not ‘nobody.’ For starters, look at your mom. She was an amazing artist back in the day—”
“And she quit. Why? Am I going to do the same thing?”
I bit my lip. I knew exactly why she’d quit, and it had nothing to do with her talent or her ability. Or his. Taking a deep breath, I said the only thing I could. “You probably
are
still coming down from tonight.”
He exhaled and shook his head. “I know, I’m being stupid.”
“You’re not,” I cried in a whisper, sitting up fast and hugging my arms around his shoulders. I felt his hands go to my waist. “Tonight was a huge deal, and your funny car. C’mon, Julian. People have car trouble all the time.”
He kissed my neck briefly, pulling away. “I know. You’re right.” I could tell he didn’t want to talk about it anymore.
“And you’re always having creative ideas,” I continued, not letting him go. “It’s the way you’re made. What about the bay? You drove me all the way into Fort Spain just to turn around and show me a colorful sunset. Most people would drive right past that and not even look. You’re different. You’re special.”
“Yeah, I’m so special. I don’t even know who my dad is.”
Instantly pressure tightened in my chest at those words. I had to bite my lip to keep from exploding. Now
I
was mad. I slid out of the bed again onto the floor in front of him and pulled him into my arms. We held each other in silence several moments while I listened to our breathing and considered just telling him the truth. Forget what his stupid parents wanted, forget my promise. Julian could
not
feel this way to ease their selfishness.
After a few minutes, I took a deep breath and leaned back against the side of my bed facing him. He leaned forward and kissed me, sliding his hand under my shirt to my bare stomach. Warmth followed his touch, and I reached up to hold his cheeks. Then he stood, pulling me up with him, our lips never parting. Tingling warmth crept up my legs as he moved us both into my bed. Our bodies slid between the blankets, and he was partially on top of me, kissing me slowly, gently.
He rose up and pulled his shirt off fast. I only caught a glimpse of the round tattoo on the side of his lined torso before he reached down and slid my nightshirt all the way up, his mouth covering my bare breasts with kisses. I gasped a little noise. Heat roared through my body, following the burning trail of his lips. My hands slid into his hair, as he started on one side then slowly kissed his way to the other, his tongue lightly touching me.
“Julian!” I gasped.
He quickly moved up, covering my mouth with his. Now our bare chests were pressed together, and my heart was beating so hard, I was sure he could feel it. I held onto him tightly. I didn’t want him to stop. The feeling of our bodies touching was amazing.
Slowly he released me from the kiss. He wrapped his arms around me, and pressed his forehead into my shoulder. We were both breathing hard, and I lay very still unsure what he would do next. Several minutes passed, and my heart rate slowed. He turned his head to the side, resting his cheek on my chest, but still he didn’t speak. After a while, my arms grew tired, and I couldn’t tell if he was even still awake. I lightly smoothed his hair with my fingertips until I starting to drift. Then he slid beside me and gently pulled my shirt back down.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
I pulled myself into his arms and pressed my cheek against his warm skin. “You don’t have to apologize.”
I didn’t realize how protective of him I’d grown until he’d said what he did tonight. I also didn’t realize how quickly I would follow him wherever he wanted to take me. I wondered if these new feelings were because we’d known each other so long or if it was because I knew so much about his past. Things he didn’t even know. He gently rubbed my back, and I could feel my thoughts twisting into distorted images as sleep pushed against them.
The next time I opened my eyes, it was light outside, and Julian was gone. I heard voices downstairs, so I grabbed my hoodie and stepped into my PJ pants. In the kitchen, Julian sat at the bar with a cup of coffee. I blinked to the couch, and it was messy and slept in. I wondered when he’d crept out of my room last night.
Going to the kitchen, I caught his eye. He looked at me and smiled, and two thoughts hit me at once. First, how amazingly sexy he was, and second, what happened last night in my room. My cheeks went hot with my mom standing right there, and I stepped over to the sink to grab a glass of water.
“Julian said his big night ended in a typical teenage moment,” Mom said.
I tensed, unsure which moment she was referencing. “What do you mean?”
“I told your mom you had to push my car,” Julian said.
Chills raced down my arms at the sound of his voice. “Oh, yeah. I didn’t know how to pop a clutch,” I said, taking a long drink of cold water. I needed it.
“You know, that’s a trick most kids probably haven’t even heard of,” Mom said, oblivious. “I remember when it was pretty common. But there were a lot more standard cars when I was young.”
She lifted the pot to make more coffee. “Anyway, I told Julian he shouldn’t take that as any reflection on his achievement. People have car trouble all the time.”
“I told her that was exactly what you said,” Julian’s voice was right next to my ear as he leaned past me to put his cup in the sink. My stomach tightened at his closeness, and I had to fight the urge to grab him.
He frowned. “Are you okay?” I managed a nod. “I’m going out to see what your dad thinks. Come with me?”
“Sure.”
I followed him out the door, but when we got outside, he stopped abruptly. “What’s up? You’re acting weird.”
“I… I just… You seem different to me today.” I said.
“Different?”
“Yeah.” My eyes went to his mouth, and I had an overwhelming urge to kiss him. Instead I only studied my hands clasped together at my waist.
He relaxed with a laugh. “It’s the whole fame thing. Makes me irresistible to women.”
“It’s more than that,” I said, glancing up.
He gave me a quick kiss. I wanted to hold him longer, but he was already gone again. “Your dad said he’d give me a ride to my house on his way to work. I’ll have to hustle, but I can probably change and catch the bus to school. Can you bring me and Scott or Blake back here after?”
I stopped walking as he ran up to my dad who was looking under the hood of the T-bird.
“I’m betting it’s the fuel line,” Dad said, his head still inside the car. “But your guys probably know this vehicle inside and out if they rebuilt it.”
“I’ll let ‘em know. Maybe they can bring some parts and we can at least get it out of your driveway.”
“You’re not blocking anything. Don’t feel pressured.” Then Dad squinted an eye at him. “Just don’t leave it here longer than a few days.”
“Yes, sir,” Julian laughed.
They climbed into my dad’s truck and drove away, and just like that, I was left alone in my driveway with all my raging hormones. I sighed and ran back into the house to dress for school. It was early enough that I could make it to Hammond Island before the first bell, and I had a few things I wanted to say to Bill Kyser.
In my room, I stuffed the letter in my bag and ran back downstairs and out the door already planning my speech.
I’d driven to the Kyser mansion on Hammond Island so many times in the last year, I could do it with my eyes closed. After Jack and I broke up, I’d sworn I’d never go to his house again because it seemed like something bad happened to me every time I did. A lot had changed since I made that vow.
The four-lane road leading up to the secured neighborhood ran parallel to the Gulf, and I gazed out at the turquoise water. Last night was a huge deal for Julian, but still it didn’t cancel the anger he felt about his dad—the self-doubt he’d only let me see one other time when he was injured after the car crash.
He didn’t know his dad had been there, proud of him, and even connecting him with a big-name gallery owner in Sterling. He didn’t know his dad’s birthday gift was a big part of the reason he could even make the huge sculptures that were putting him on the map. I hated it.
My lips were pressed into a thin line as I pulled onto Peninsula Drive and circled to the stucco mansion facing Bayou St. John. I passed several other huge homes dotting this stretch of high-priced real estate. If you drew a line due south of where the Kyser house was located, you’d hit Florida before ending up in the turquoise waters of the Gulf of Mexico. I had no idea why the boundary gerrymandered so, but it probably had to do with money. Most everything here did.
Mr. Kyser’s silver Audi was the only car parked in the driveway, and I was relieved. I didn’t want Lucy to be home, since I hoped to use the letter as my excuse for this unplanned visit. If she were here, it would be impossible to say the things I wanted to say—that Mr. Kyser
had
to tell Julian the truth. Now.
I entered through the side door that was almost always unlocked and scanned the kitchen for signs of him. Surely he wasn’t still asleep. It was 7:30, and he had to go to his office. Although, since he owned everything, I hadn’t really considered he probably kept whatever hours he pleased.
“Hello?” I called, wandering into the large living room that was lined with French doors looking out toward the bay. The flagstone patio extended east and wrapped around the south side of the house and formed the driveway. I was very familiar with the layout.
“Mr. Kyser?” I called again, but I didn’t hear anyone in the house. Was it possible he was outside?
I couldn’t decide what to do, so I slowly climbed the travertine staircase to the second floor. I had no idea where the master bedroom might be, but maybe there was a study or some place I could hide the letter and tell him later? It wasn’t my first choice, but it was one option.
Lucy’s golden-yellow room was pristine and empty. My eyes went to the door next to it, and a lump twisted in my throat. Jack’s room. I wouldn’t even let my mind go there.
Jerking my chin away, I turned and walked down the long balcony and around to a part of the house I’d never explored. Another hallway led westward to what had to be the master suite. A door at the end was ajar, and as I got closer, I could hear a voice coming from what sounded like an individual moving quickly.
“I can’t believe you didn’t wake me,” the voice said. It was a woman’s, and as I crept closer, it sounded like Ms. LaSalle’s!
“I wasn’t awake myself,” Mr. Kyser said, and I could hear his smile.
Pressing my eyes closed, knowing it was a huge risk, I stepped forward so I could peek through the crack near the hinges. I had to know if my ears were right.