Warriors Of Legend (33 page)

He longed to hear her cry his name in sweet pleasure. This time there would be no pain.

Her body slid across his oiled skin, the points of her breasts hard against his chest. God, she felt so good. Micah gripped Kate’s shoulder and pushed her up. She blinked at him in confusion, her mouth red from his kiss, her gray eyes deepened to a dusky charcoal.

Micah guided her hips back so her most intimate place, hot and wet, stroked his length. She moaned and he gritted his teeth. The agony burned his loins. He could stand no more.

He touched her folds. She gasped and automatically raised off of him.

“Guide me,” he demanded. “Put me inside you.”

At first she seemed confused and she struggled for a moment. Then she settled on him with agonizing, frustrating, but glorious slowness. Micah held his breath and did not move. This torture was much too sweet to hurry. Kate’s gaze locked on him as they paused, joined body and soul. For the space of a heartbeat Micah knew pure hell and sweet heaven.

Micah guided her hips to move and closed his eyes in near relief as she complied, gaining more confidence with each wonderful moment. He thrust into her, deeper, harder, faster, his hands pulling her hips down. Kate moaned and settled herself against him, arching her back slightly.

“God, that’s it.”

She threw her head back and pushed down hard. Micah nearly convulsed in release but fought it off. He fondled her breasts, watching her nipples tighten even more under his touch.

“Micah?” Her eyes widened in surprise. He felt the first tremor of her sheath as it convulsed around him.

“Let go, Kate.”

She closed her eyes and did as he asked. Good Lord, how she trusted him. Her body took a new, more desperate rhythm. A second tremor tightened her walls around him and he groaned. Such wonderful agony.

Kate ground herself down as the ecstasy finally seized her. She whimpered his name and her silken walls convulsed gloriously around him. Micah buried himself deeply, her body gripped him and demanded his own release. Hot fire ripped from his loins as his seed pumped into her. She shuddered again and her name was all he could speak. Suddenly she collapsed on top of him, and they lay together in a tangle of sweat slicked limbs and oiled skin.

Micah marveled at how easily he forgot how to breathe. Kate lay on top of him trembling violently in her aftermath. Micah realized he wasn’t much better. Never had he felt so sated after lovemaking. In the dreamlike haze he almost forgot reality.

If Kate had not been on top of him he would have lunged from the bed. Instead he froze.

What had she done to him?

Her touch, her passion, all worked to turn him once again into a mindless animal. He had completely lost control and again taken her quite forcefully. Micah forgot everything for a few moments of bliss. He abandoned his promise to her and found ecstasy. What shamed Micah even more…he wanted to do it again.

Good God, what am I becoming?

Disgust filled him. He had again lost control.

Kate stirred and seemed to sense his turmoil. She lifted her head and looked down at him. “Micah?”

For an instant he almost lost himself in her gaze. Abruptly he moved out from under her, sitting up. But he hesitated, remembering the pain he had caused her with his reactions. Dear God, this wasn’t her fault. Just because he couldn’t control himself was no reason to hurt her again.

“Micah?” she asked timidly.

He squeezed his eyes shut and battled the rioting emotions within him. He sighed and dragged his hand through his hair. “Kate, forgive me,” he whispered and reached for her.

She hesitated only a moment before accepting his embrace. Micah folded her against him and stroked her hair. He remained silent for a long moment, trying to find the words, anything to explain his actions without hurting her.

But since their marriage that was all he had done. First on their wedding night, then again today, and he had embarrassed her in front of William and Tobin. Micah groaned, throwing himself back on the bed and rubbing his eyes.

“How many more mistakes can I make?” he muttered. When she didn’t reply he moved his hand and looked at her. Her mouth pressed in a hard line and her expression remained guarded.

“Kate,” he said softly. “You are right. I never should have interfered with your discipline.”

She blinked in surprise then ducked her head.

Micah knew this wasn’t exactly what she wanted to hear but he still could not find the words to speak of the confusion within him.

“I am just miss–stepping all over the place.” He took a deep breath and stretched, still cautious of his injured shoulder. But he had to admit, Kate’s ministrations had made him feel much better in that regard. He sighed heavily.

“Tobin and William’s fight surprised me,” she said.

Micah looked at her startled but he nodded. “I thought the boys were friends. Right before you and I married, I stumbled across the three boys hiding. William and Roger watched Tobin draw and feared I would punish them for ignoring their chores. But Tobin does have talent so I told the boys they could continue as long as it didn’t interfere with their duties.”

“That’s what Tobin said to me.”

“It seems I was wrong about their friendship.” He paused and took a deep breath. “I am not doing so well with those boys. Now you know why I do not want children. I would not make a good father.”

Kate bolted upright. “What do you mean you don’t want children?”

Micah gazed at her curiously. “I would not give my children treachery as an inheritance.”

“And when did you plan to tell me of this?”

He blinked. “I thought you knew, Kate. What man would be insane enough to have children with a blackened name?”

“A blackened name?” she asked incredulously. “Micah you are the baron of Westmoreland, you have good lands under your control. What more do you want?”

Pain surged within his heart and he clenched his fists. “I want a home, Kate, not just lands. But Henry has proven the futility of that desire. He can take Appleby away from me on a whim, for something that was none of my doing, just like he did with my family’s home.”

She stared at him, her eyes liquid.

“I want a family but there is no longer any truth in that either.”

She swallowed hard. “Is there nothing else you want?”

Love!
His thoughts screamed. The wound in his side ached terribly, matching the pain in his heart. He rose, a great weight on his shoulders threatening to drive him into the floor. “Kate, what I want doesn’t exist,” he whispered, his voice strained. Slowly, he dressed and left the room.

Chapter Eleven

Kate dressed and then went downstairs to the kitchens, her heart a tangled mess. Fortunately, after a quick bob of the head, Mary ignored her, and Kate did not see Sarah.

Kate quickly made a tea. She possessed the herbs to prevent breeding but they didn’t always work and it might be too late.

Why hadn’t Micah told her? She had thought it her duty to bear heirs. A boy child would also effectively put Appleby out of MacLeary’s reach.

Kate swallowed hard, fighting back her tears. Micah’s words confused her, but she thought she understood a bit more. Micah was right about losing a home on Henry’s whim, in that respect she understood exactly what he meant.

Micah said he did not want children but ultimately his desire was to have a family. She scowled.

I want a family but there is no longer any truth in that either.

Because of what happened with his uncle, Micah no longer had contact with the Montforts in Normandy and he had lost his parents to death. No wonder Micah no longer believed in the bonds of family.

What I want doesn’t exist.

For a brief instant, Kate had seen a terrible anguish in his sapphire eyes. She knew his answer as clearly as if he had shouted it.
Love doesn’t exist.

Kate scrubbed away the tears clouding her vision. Love did exist but Micah’s pain remained buried too deeply for him to experience it. He did not want to clear his name, he wanted his heart to heal, and he thought the return of his inheritance would accomplish that. Kate knew the return of his lands would not heal him completely and Henry’s actions were not something to be counted on.

Since their marriage, Micah had pushed her away but now she knew why. The scar from his past had healed on his body but not on his heart. Kate seized a firm grip on her resolve. Micah had helped her conquer her fears, now it was her turn.

Kate drank her tea. As for her breeding, Micah had only bedded her twice, she should have nothing to worry about. She glanced at her bag and noted a few herbs dwindled in number. Most had to be dried or processed into oil before they could be used. Marjorie would have the ones Kate needed.

Kate finished her tea and went upstairs to the study. She would make a list and have Marjorie take care of it. Kate was abruptly grateful that her mother had taught Marjorie to read.

She quickly wrote the list then spotted some ledger tallies on the desk. Micah left the managing of food and the keep’s domestic supplies to Kate. A few items; garlic, green apples, and cumin, the merchants had not been able to supplement. Kate wrote a second list and signed it, putting the parchment with others of its type. Micah would probably send a wagon on a three day journey to the small market at Milburn soon.

Kate returned to the kitchens. “Mary, where is Marjorie?”

“She is with Tobin, tending to his broken nose.”

Kate gave a mental groan. Of course. “I have a list of herbs for her.” She set it on one of the tables and put a cup on the corner. “See that she gets this please.”

“As you wish, lady.”

“Thank you.” Kate left the kitchens, her thoughts still tangled.

***

The next morning Micah rose, careful not to wake his sleeping wife. He quickly dressed and went downstairs. Micah began to realize the futility of the war against his desire. By avoiding Kate, he hurt her even more. She would no doubt think he despised her. That was the furthest thing from the truth. Also by interfering in Kate’s discipline of Tobin and William, Micah robbed her of respect.

He entered the great hall to find his men gathered for breakfast. William and Roger glared at Tobin across the table. Tobin’s nose appeared slightly crooked. Bruises shadowed his eyes. William had a black eye but nothing more. Micah fought down a smile as the sight provoked some childhood memories. Growing up, he had tussled with his cousin, Simon, on more than one occasion.
Boys will be boys,
he thought wryly.

Micah straightened his shoulders and dismissed his musings. “Tobin, William, come here.”

Both boys blanched but hurried to stand before him, their heads bowed. Micah caught a glimpse of Sarah. She shot Micah a hard look before she vanished into the kitchens. He scowled. Perhaps Sarah did not appreciate Micah meddling in her power plays with the two boys.
A conniving strumpet?
he wondered then sighed. William and Tobin would have to learn for themselves.

Micah folded his arms over his chest. “I have reconsidered my decision yesterday. My lady does indeed have every right to discipline you for the fight. Squire or stable boy you will both pay her the same respect you give me. If I hear otherwise I will personally thrash both of you. Be glad that my lady has handed down the punishment of cleaning chamber pots for a week. I would not have been so kind. Do you understand me?”

“Aye, sir,” the two chorused.

“Eat and then work on your new duties. I will not have you two fighting again. Tobin, you are dismissed.”

The two quickly turned away.

“William,” Micah said. “I am not finished with you.”

The boy froze and faced Micah again. Micah waited until Tobin stepped out of earshot. “What happened?”

“Tobin and I…we both fancy Sarah. He won’t stay away from her.”

“That’s what I thought. William, I want you to realize, as my squire, you also have a greater responsibility here. Work out your differences but find a better way to do it.”

“Aye, sir, I am sorry.”

“Go on now.”

Micah watched William hurry back to the table. He doubted the peace would remain. Both boys approached an age where they took an interest in ladies. Neither had the maturity to handle the competition without fighting. Micah knew William’s fancy for Sarah would not last very long. As a squire he outranked her. When William grew into knighthood he would no doubt find a lady closer to his station. Micah sighed and rubbed his jaw, hoping he or Kate would not have to step in again.

“Thank you, my lord,” Kate said from behind him.

Micah turned quickly and saw Kate smiling. His lips lifted and he offered his arm to escort her to the table. “I tried my best, lady.”

“Aye,” she said, her gray eyes sparking. “I appreciate that.”

Micah’s smile grew and he led her to the table.

***

November arrived and the weather turned freezing. Kate drew her wrap tighter and looked out the window across the courtyard. She could not remember a winter this frigid. Even with the great hearths in the keep roaring with fire, the cold settled in the stone walls and stayed there. Snow covered the ground but at least the sun shone today. Kate hoped its brightness would help warm the place if only a little.

A month had passed since Kate’s argument with Micah. But her resolve remained firm. Instead of growing frustrated with him, she regarded him with compassion and kindness. To her surprise she found Micah slowly crawling out of his shell. Although he still seemed to battle his desire, he did not fight as vigilantly as before. But he would still leave the room afterward. He continued to be somewhat reserved but Kate glimpsed sparks of his vibrant, if mischievous, personality returning.

Today Micah and his men, despite the cold, couldn’t stand to be cooped up in the castle any longer. Ice covered the scaffolds, and the repairs on the walls ceased. They turned to the training yards to rid themselves of some energy.

The men enjoyed their play fighting. Covered in his heavy gray fur cloak, Micah looked more like the wolf Kate had always associated with him. His dark features contrasted sharply against the white snow. As the practice continued, Micah seemed to relax. He started laughing and taunting his men as each failed to disarm him. Kate giggled to herself, he even grinned like a wolf.