Read Very Bad Things Online

Authors: Ilsa Madden-Mills

Very Bad Things (9 page)

“Please don’t help me anymore. I don’t need your pity. I can
take care of myself.” I seethed.

“Listen to me. I want to . . . I don’t know . . . get you
through this. You seem like you’re on the edge of doing something terrible, and
you don’t have to do bad things to get attention—”

“You think I’m doing this for
attention
?” I gasped
out, shaking my head at him angrily. “You want to fix me?”

He faltered and struggled to find words. “No, it may appear
that way, but that’s not what I meant—”

“Stop,” I said, holding my hand. “First of all, if I want to
be fixed, I’ll call a shrink like you hinted at this morning. Secondly, just
because we spent the night in the same bed does not mean you know me. You have
no idea if I’m good or bad, you have no clue what happened to me, and you can’t
tell me who I can date. If I want to get drunk, I will. If I want to snort some
coke, I will. If I want to fuck Cuba, then I’ll enjoy every dirty moment. I’m
not afraid of getting my heart broken, Leo. There’s not one there to break.
Thirdly, why do you give a shit, anyway? You basically told me to stay away
from you.”

I whipped around, heading for the park exit, not even
turning to wave bye to Sebastian or Cuba.

I heard Leo call out to my retreating back. “Dammit, Nora.
Come back! Don’t walk away from me!”

I kept going, yet I stupidly prayed he’d come after me. Tell
me that he wanted to keep me from Cuba because he felt the connection between
us. But that would be a lie because now I knew the truth. He’d read my journal
and only felt sorry for me.

I fucking hated pity. It was a wasted emotion.

 

 

 

 

 

“If
love is the answer, then I’m changing the question.”

–Leo
Tate

 

 

AS I WALKED back to the gym from the
park, I wasn’t thinking about the contractors who were there, working on
getting the pool in. Nope, I stuck on Nora and how she made me forget every
practical thought in my head. She’d driven me insane today at the park, licking
that ice cream cone and talking to Cuba. And he’d been all over her, standing
next to her, wiping ice cream off her face, grinning at her. Even when I’d been
talking to Tiffany, I’d been distracted, watching their annoying flirtation
play out.

Nora . . . she did
something
to me. I’d spent half an
hour in the shower this morning, jerking off to her, thinking about her big
green eyes, how she’d touched my tats at breakfast, the way she smelled like
fresh peaches. Most of all I kept remembering her in the bathroom, tall and
sexy with breasts perfect for cupping in my hands.

I’d said she was too young, but maybe it wasn’t just the age
difference. Because the more I got to know her, the more I saw that the age
factor wasn’t the big deal I was making it out to be. Maybe it was a convenient
excuse. A part of me knew that besides the age, I simply wasn’t good enough for
her. I’d end up treating her like all the other girls I’d known. Like shit.

And I didn’t want to be part of her destruction. Just a
number on her list.

My eyes were caught by a camera shop’s storefront, and it
reminded me of Teddy. It was sometimes hard to tell how he felt about things,
but I’d sensed he’d taken a liking to Nora. She needed something to keep her
out of trouble, and maybe helping Teddy would be good for her.

I strolled inside the shop to check it out. Teddy’d
mentioned his sister didn’t have much money to support his film habit, so I
looked around and talked to the clerk some about what types of pictures Teddy
took. I ended up spending about a hundred bucks on regular film plus some black
and white. Knowing how Teddy loved to take pictures, he’d be thrilled with
whatever I got because he wasn’t hard to please.

Part of why I’d taken to him so fast was that he and his
sister had lost their parents at an early age just like me and Sebastian.
Mostly, it was his enthusiasm for life that fascinated me, reminding me how
easily we forget the little things we used to think about when we were younger,
like a nice sunset or how great a song sounds the first time you hear it. Even
though he had autism, he saw a whole lot more than I did.

When I got back to the gym, I hit it hard even though I’d
just had a run at the park, hoping to rid my body of the frustration I’d been
feeling, I lifted for an hour, concentrating on my arms, sweating Nora out of
my head.

While I was working out, Sebastian came in the weight room,
making a beeline for me. “You wanna tell me what that was at the park with
Nora?” he snapped, like he was irritated.

I let the dumbbells fall to the floor, their clinking noise
the only sound in the room. I didn’t know what to say to him. I’d been out of
control in the park. The truth is, trying not to want her made me want her
more.

“Leo? Dude, what’s wrong with you?” he asked. “I’ve never
seen you get worked up over a girl.”

At least I could answer some of that question. “Nora made a
list of bad things to do in her journal. I read it. When I asked her about it,
she freaked out and got mad when I tried to tell her to stay away from Cuba.”

Sebastian’s brow wrinkled. “What did it say?”

“That she wants to drink, do drugs, and have random sex with
multiple people,” I said, snarling a little on the last part.

“Ah,” he said, sitting down on the bench next to me, his
annoyance at me gone.

“And I want to know why. Something’s off about her family.”

He nodded. “Her mom’s a piece of work.”

I agreed. “Look, here’s the thing. I want you to keep an eye
on her. Check on her. Call her. Hang out with her. Make sure she’s not doing
anything stupid,” I said, not meeting his eyes. I mean, I pretty much sounded
like a stalker. Why
did
I fucking care so much about what happened to
her? I’d only just met her.

He laughed out loud. “Dude, challenge accepted. She’s
gorgeous. And I was planning on hanging with her anyway,” he said as he stood
up to go.

He got to the door and turned back around, a serious look on
his face. “Technically, she may be younger than you, but I think she’s had to
grow up too fast, man. Just like you did.”

 

 

A FEW DAYS later, I did something
I’d later regret. I called Nora to invite her over to the gym for an impromptu
poolside get together with Teddy. The pool had been finished that week, and it
seemed like a good opportunity to see if the spur-of-the-moment decision to ask
to her to help him had been a good idea. I could already tell that Teddy liked
her, but it was important for her to return the feeling. I didn’t know her well
enough to judge yet, and I wanted to believe that she wasn’t just another
entitled rich girl, but I needed to see her one more time.

That’s the only reason I invited her.

I heard the buzzer peal while we were at the pool. Teddy
jumped up from his deck chair and ran over to mine, his Mickey Mouse swim
shorts still wet from swimming. His sister had dropped him off with us about an
hour earlier, and he’d been in the pool the entire time. He was a good swimmer and
had only gotten out when he knew it was time for Nora to arrive.

“Nora’s here. Nora’s here,” he said, walking in circles,
flapping his arms a little more than usual.

“You want to see her, Teddy?” I know I did, and I didn’t
like it.

“She’s pretty. She plays piano like me,” he said, his voice
rising up and down in a rhythm I’d gotten used to with him.

“Come on,” I said with a grin, “you can go with me to let
her in.” I handed him a towel and pointed out his shoes. “Go get your
flip-flops. I don’t want you slipping on the slick floor in the gym.”

He slipped his shoes on, and we went to the front door. She
was waiting, wearing a breezy, white dress, looking fucking innocent. Yet, she
wasn’t was she? She’d told me she’d been with other guys before, and I wondered
how many. Fuck it. Why did it matter anyway?

I unlocked the door and let her in, noticing her slightly
cool demeanor. Had I been too hard on her at the park? Maybe it was none of my
business what she did with her life, including who she fucked. Yeah, I needed
to let her live her life. She was nothing to me but a way for Teddy to expand
his song selections and make our band better.

Teddy ran right up to her. “Nora, Nora! This isn’t band
practice. It’s to see if we like you. Leo isn’t sure you’ll work out.”

My stomach dropped, realizing I shouldn’t have said so much
in front of Teddy earlier when I’d been talking to Sebastian.

Nora laughed, her eyes dancing. “Teddy, I can tell already
that you and I are going to be best friends.” She gave him a big smile and me
an amused smirk. “Tell me what else Leo says,” she said, walking over and
tentatively crooking her arm through his and heading out through the patio
doors to the pool area. I found myself pleased at her reaction. With Teddy, you
had to get that he didn’t hold back when it came to what he said. You had to
roll with it ’cause social cues and niceties meant nothing to him.

As soon as we stepped out into the hot August sun, Sebastian
yelled for her to get in the pool with him and Vixen. I stood there not sure
what to do now that she was here. I hung back, watching as she pulled her dress
off, revealing a bright orange bikini. It wasn’t too revealing; it covered her
full breasts and her pert ass, yet I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. I thought
about the piercing she’d gotten last week. I wondered how it would feel in my
mouth, how I could use my tongue on it to make her hot and wet. Pissed at my
wayward imagination, I forced my eyes back to the pool, where I caught
Sebastian checking her out, too.
Fuck.
Stupid, asinine idea to be around
Nora in a bikini. Maybe we should have just had a band session. At least then
she would have decent clothes on.

Teddy’s bony frame jumped back in, and she dove in after
him, her body knifing through the water. While they swam, Sebastian and Vixen
set up the net for a volleyball game as I sat and played my guitar, working out
the beat to a new song I was working on. I stared at Nora while I strummed the
chords, wondering what had happened to her to make her snap. Just looking at
her, you’d never guess she had problems. She seemed confident, poised, and
perfect, even though I knew from her list she hated that word.

Sebastian called out for me to play volleyball. I grimaced,
dreading the thought of being too close to Nora. Whatever. I could stay away
from her in the water, right?

“Who plays who?” Teddy asked, clutching the ball, his eyes
darting between us, never landing too long on one person.

Before I could make a suggestion, Sebastian gave me a little
grin and said, “You take Nora and Teddy, Leo. That way it’s the old geezers
versus the babies.”

“You’re only a year younger than me,” Nora told Sebastian,
her smile infectious and just for him. Had she ever smiled at me that way? She
shrugged and swam over to my side though, and I tried to keep my eyes from
caressing over her exposed skin. It was a normal reaction to a beautiful girl
in a wet bathing suit.

Nora and I played, working well together, me covering the
long serves and her guarding the front of the net. We kinda made up our own
rules, being lenient with Teddy who would sometimes get upset if his balls
didn’t make it over. Nora fell right in with us, encouraging Teddy to keep on
trying, laughing good naturedly when we made a mistake.

I thought I might get out of this unscathed. Then everything
fell apart when Sebastian served the ball, and it went up and over, heading for
the vague area between me and Nora. Neither of us called it, yet both of us
rushed toward it until we were right on top of each other. We both jumped at
the same time, the waves of the water pushing the front of her body tight
against my chest. I tried to get the ball while at the same time pull away from
her, but I only fumbled it, feeling it tip off my fingers and veer off
somewhere behind us. I grunted and fell back, my hands reaching out to keep her
from falling, but I only tugged her down with me. We both went under with her
on top of me, our bodies pressed together and our legs intertwining. It
probably only took four or five seconds for the whole crash to play out, yet it
seemed to move in slow motion. And as we both sank down to the bottom, I kept
my eyes open, even though the fresh chlorine burned like hell. I wanted to take
her in without her knowing; I wanted to see her face. She was as mind-blowing underwater
as on top, looking like a real life, long-haired mermaid that I’d like to push
up against the pool and kiss the hell out of.

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