Smiling wide, he walks over to me. “I knew you could.”
I stop my victory dance. “Yeah, you did.” I smile softly at him.
Something shifts in my chest, and warmth spreads throughout my body, making me tingle.
“Want to try it again?” he asks.
“Yeah.” I smile. “But will you film it for me on my phone?” I walk over to my bag and pull my phone out. “I want to show Jesse. I think he’ll be impressed.”
“Sure.” He smiles, taking my phone from me.
“You need me to set the camera up?” I ask.
“No, I got it.”
He walks over to the spot where he watched from before, and I put myself in place, ready to run.
“Let me know when you’re ready to film,” I tell him, eyes fixed on the pommel horse.
He doesn’t respond, so I glance over to him, and something in his expression makes my heart pause.
He’s staring down at my phone. Confusion and anger and pain are all clearly etched on his face.
What’s wrong with him?
Then, a thought slams into my brain.
Oh, fuck…no…
Tw
enty-Seven
I’m moving quickly toward Kas.
He seems to sense my approach, and I watch with bated breath while his eyes lift slowly to mine.
And then our eyes meet and hold, and I see it there in his agonized eyes.
He’s seen it.
The picture of Haley. It was still in my phone.
Why the hell didn’t I delete it? I’m so fucking stupid.
I stop a few feet away, unsure of what to do. “Kas,” I say his name softly, tentatively.
“Why…” He pauses.
I see his jaw work angrily. His body is locked up tight, like he’s fighting to control himself.
A chill runs through me. I wrap my arms around myself.
“Why do you have this in your phone?” His voice is like granite. He lifts the phone to me.
The photo I took of Haley’s picture is there for me to see.
I pale. “I-I can explain.”
“Then, fucking explain!” he roars.
I jump back a step.
I’ve seen Kas angry before, but this is a whole new level of anger. He’s livid. And he has a right to be.
“I-I…” I can’t stop the stammer. My whole body is trembling with nerves. I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself. “I found the picture—by accident. It was last week after we kissed in the club and argued about it. After I left you, I went upstairs and started stripping your bed. I knocked over a glass of water on the nightstand. I cleaned it up with a towel and saw the top drawer was open slightly. I was worried water had gotten inside. I saw the picture in there. And I…” I helplessly lift my shoulders.
“You saw the photograph,” he says, his tone low and deadly. “It doesn’t explain to me why the fuck you have a picture of it in your phone.”
My eyes fill with tears. I’ve fucked up so very badly.
“I don’t know.” My lips tremble. “I was just curious…and jealous, and I—”
“Jealous?” he yells, making me jump again. “Why the fuck would you be jealous?”
“I…she—I mean, Haley—”
“You know her name.” His voice is quiet but dangerous.
I nod, and a tear falls down my cheek. I free my hand and brush it away.
Kas is staring at me, but it’s like he doesn’t even see me right now. “What else do you know?”
I bite my lip, afraid to speak.
“What do you know?” he repeats, yelling.
I jump to attention. “I looked Haley up on the Internet.”
The silence that hits is like a bulldozer hitting brick, and the look Kas gives me makes me want to curl up and die.
“You know.” It’s not a question.
But I’m quick to reply, “O-only what was in the articles.” My voice is wobbling all over the place. “Th-that Haley was…that she was mu-murdered, and…” I pause, meeting his fiery stare. “That someone else was there with her that night, someone who was also…injured.”
His eyes close, as if he’s in actual pain. Anguish distorts his beautiful face.
I feel sick to my stomach.
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper, more tears sliding down my face.
It’s so quiet. Only my pathetic whimpers and Kas’s labored breathing can be heard.
“Fuck!” he roars, throwing his head back.
The sound is so feral that it rips at my heart like claws.
Tormented black eyes swing back my way.
Then, without a word, he throws my phone to the ground at my feet, and he’s moving…leaving. He strides away from me, his long legs quickly eating up the distance.
Fear seizes me.
What do I do?
Go after him.
I scoop up my phone off the ground—my stupid phone that caused this problem in the first place—and I run for my bag. I drop the phone inside, and then I start running in the direction of Kas.
I just need to apologize…explain.
Tears are drying on my face as I run. I finally catch up with him in the car park, near his car.
“Kas, wait, please,” I pant, out of breath.
He ignores me and keeps moving toward his car. So, I pick up my speed, sprinting to him. I catch up with him just as he’s opening his car door. I curl my hand around his arm, stopping him.
He swings back to me, his eyes staring down at my hand like he wants to break it off.
I quickly drop my hand. “Please, just let me explain,” I plead.
“No.”
“
Please
, Kas.”
Hard eyes bore into me. “You need to stay the fuck away from me.”
Agony seizes my chest.
He climbs into his car.
Panic-stricken, I move between the driver’s door and the car to stop him from closing it.
“Move out of the fucking way,” he grinds out.
“No.”
His eyes burn up at me. “Don’t make me move you, Daisy.”
Nerves make me swallow hard. “Please, Kas, just hear me out, and then you can leave.”
He glares at me. The hatred in his eyes makes my body start to tremble. “I don’t have to do a fucking thing. And you have
nothing
that I want to hear. Now, move the fuck away from my car!”
Ignoring his anger, I fight back, “I at least deserve a chance to explain! When you screwed up—twice—I gave you a chance!”
He pins me with a dead stare. “Then, you were a fool.” Cold contemplation quickly enters his eyes. “Or is that me, for thinking you were someone you clearly aren’t?”
Those words hit like a knife between my shoulder blades.
I gulp back. My throat burns, like I’m swallowing acid. I swipe a hand at the tears sliding down my face.
“And you can stop with the tears. They don’t affect me. Now, move the hell away from my car, or I
will
move you, and it won’t be pretty,” he says low with meaning.
Fear shakes me to the core. I’ve never heard him sound that way before. Like he actually means me harm.
Knowing that there is nothing I can do or say to get him to listen to me, I take a defeated step away.
The second I move, he slams the car door shut, and then he’s revving the engine and pulling away a second later, his tires kicking up against the gravel, leaving me in a cloud of dust.
As I watch his car leave, a sob hitches in my throat. Covering my mouth with my hand, I swallow it back.
I’ve screwed up badly. He’s never going to forgive me.
I look around me. Thankfully, the car park is empty of people.
Taking a shaky breath in, I dry my face with my hands, and then I get my phone from my bag and press the last number in my Call History, calling the only person I’ve ever been able to rely on.
Hand trembling, I put my phone to my ear.
“Hey,” Cece sings down the line. “How’s the date going?”
“Ce…can you come pick me up?” My voice wobbles.
“Daisy, what’s wrong?” Her tone is instantly protective.
“I-I…screwed up, Ce. Real bad. And I need you to come get me.”
“Okay. I got you, Mayday. Just tell me where you are.”
“I-I’m at a place called Superhumans. It’s on an industrial estate in Brixton. It…it’s Kas’s place.”
“I’ll find it.”
“Please be quick,” I plead, tears filling my voice.
“Okay. Just stay on the phone with me, Daisy. Don’t hang up.”
“Okay.”
I hear her moving around. Keys rattling. A door slamming. A lock turning. Then, I hear her shoes slapping against concrete as she runs down the stairs of our building.
“I’m sorry to be a bother, Ce.”
“Shut up,” she chides softly. “You will never be a bother to me. You’re my family, Daisy.”
“You’re my family, too,” I whisper, brushing away a tear.
I hear a door slam. Then, a car engine comes to life.
“I’m putting you on speaker,” she tells me. The line goes silent for a moment, and then it comes back to life with an echo. “Can you hear me?” she asks.
“I got you,” I tell her.
“Good. Now, tell me, do I need to put out a hit on this motherfucker?”
I let out a sad chuckle as I wipe away another tear. “No,” I say somberly. “He hasn’t done anything wrong.” And it’s the truth; he hasn’t. “This was all me. My fault entirely.” And it is.
I’ve screwed up everything. Yet again.
Tw
enty-Eight
It’s late. Close to midnight. I’m in my pajamas, ready for bed, and I’m in the bathroom, brushing my teeth. My eyes are puffy from all the crying I’ve done, and I’m feeling emotionally drained.
Cece is already in bed. She turned in about half an hour ago. She spent all night trying to make me feel better. Not that much is going to make me feel better, apart from Kas, and it’s not likely that’s going to happen.
I haven’t heard from him.
I tried to ring him once I got home after Cece picked me up, but the call went unanswered. When I tried calling again, I got voice mail, telling me that he’d turned off his phone.
I left a voice mail, apologizing again and asking him to call me—well, I might have pleaded for him to call me.
I also sent a text, just in case he decided to ignore the voice mail. Of course, he can also ignore the text, but at least I’ll know when he’s read it.
Not that he’s read it yet. I might have checked once or twice…or a hundred times.
I spit out into the sink and rinse my brush under the running tap. I’ve just put my toothbrush into the holder when someone starts banging on our front door.
Cece comes out of her room, and at the same time, I exit the bathroom. She’s all wide-eyed. I think my expression mirrors hers.
“Who the hell is that?” she asks.
“I have no clue.”
“Daisy!” a voice hollers through the front door.
My body jolts in shock, and my heart starts to hammer in my chest.
“It’s Kas,” I whisper to Cece. Why I’m whispering, I have no clue. “What do you think he wants?”
And how the hell did he get in the building without being buzzed in? So much for building security.
“I’d suggest opening the door and finding out.”
“Funny.” I give her an unamused stare.
Maybe he’s come here to yell at me some more—or worse, fire me.
He bangs on the door again. “Daisy, open the door!” His words are slurred. He sounds drunk.
“You’d better answer the door before he wakes the whole building up,” Cece says with a grin in her eyes.
“Shit,” I mutter. Then, I quickly make my way through our apartment and to the front door.
Reaching it, I inch up onto my tiptoes and look through the peephole just to be sure. And, yep, Kas is on the other side of my door.
Bracing myself, I unlock the door and pull it open.
I smell the alcohol on him first. Then, I notice he’s still in the clothes he was wearing earlier.
“Daisy,” he slurs. It comes out sounding like
Duh-easy
. He steps through the open doorway and practically falls on top of me.
“Jesus, Kas.” It takes all my strength to hold him up.
His hands grab around my waist as he buries his nose in my hair. “You smell so fucking good,” he murmurs into my hair. “I don’t deserve you, but you smell so fucking good.”
He’s really drunk. Reaching out my leg, I kick the front door shut.
Taking ahold of his hands on my waist, I peel them off and step back, still holding his hands because I’m worried he might fall over. I stare into his face. His eyes are half-shut and glazed.
“Let’s get you to sit down, and I’ll make coffee.”
“Don’t want coffee.” He frowns. “Just want you.”
He wants me.
My heart lurches.
He’s drunk, Daisy. Drunk people often say things they don’t mean.
He lurches forward again, and I catch hold of him. His head falls to my shoulder, his forehead pressing to my bare skin. I feel his body tremble.
“I never wanted you to know.” His words are soft but choked.
Then, I feel wetness on my skin.
Tears.
Jesus, fuck.
I feel sick.
“I’m so sorry, Kas. So sorry.” Tears blur my eyes. I press my hand to the back of his head, holding him to me, as I wrap my other arm around him.
His face slides into the hollow of my neck, his even breaths hot against my skin.
“It was my fault,” he mumbles. “If I’d been stronger…fought harder…she’d still be alive.”
Haley.
Pain clamps down on my chest and twists my gut.
I squeeze my eyes shut, fighting tears. “Shh…” I soothe, running my hand over his head. “It’s going to be okay, Kas. Everything’s going to be okay.”
“It’s already too late,” he says, his lips brushing against my skin.
“Too late?” I whisper.
“For Haley…and for me.”
What do I say?
You’re still here. She’s gone. But you are still here, and I care about you.
I can’t say that, so instead, I say, “It wasn’t your fault, Kas.”
He draws in a shuddering breath. “You don’t know anything.”
“So, tell me. You can talk to me.”
Pulling from my hold, he lifts his eyes to mine. They’re still glazed with alcohol. “You don’t want to know.”
“If you want to tell me, then I want to know.”
He turns from me, eyes on the wall, and his body sways. “You don’t want to get involved with me. I’m not a good man, Daisy.”
He’s said that to me before.
“Yes, you are,” I argue.