Jaeda was a female bear shifter, who’d run out of the woods and directly into their friend Holt’s arms. Funny thing was all the female bear shifters had been thought to be dead. Murphy and Finn had been excluded from whatever was going on with the Holloways, but they’d seen enough to get the gist of it. Someone from within the bear pack had helped arrange the attacks on the members, attacks that began with the death of their alpha, the patriarch of the Holloway family, and supposedly ended with the extinction of the females of the species. Jaeda’s arrival stated otherwise. So Finn and Murphy had been given the boot, while Holt, as the new mate of a bear, was made one of their current alpha’s inner circle.
“I’m going to miss Holt, too,” Finn said.
“Yeah,” Murphy agreed. “Now, tell me about these dreams.”
Finn sighed. He should have known Murph wouldn’t leave it alone. “They’re all a jumble of images.”
“Jumbled images. Possibly memories. Headaches. Sleeplessness. Restlessness. And I can feel your beast pressing you. My beast responds to it.”
“Shit, Murph.”
“We’re brothers. Our beasts are, as well. We’re the last two of our kind.”
“Are we?” Finn asked. “How can we be sure when we left home?”
“You know as well as I do that Niall and Alby were no shifters.” Murph argued, naming two of their siblings.
“Well, we had to get it from somewhere. We both know that old bastard wasn’t one. Was mom? Because I don’t think she was,” Finn told his brother.
“She must have been,” Murph stated, as stubborn as ever.
“Haven’t you once thought about it? How is it a full shifter and a recessed one came from two fully human parents?”
“Don’t.” Murphy’s voice was hard and cold.
“You can’t keep ignoring what’s right in front of our faces,” Finn warned.
“We don’t know anything for sure. We only have suspicions, and they won’t do either of us any good right now. Besides, we’re talking about you.”
“The hell we are,” Finn exploded. “What about Brenna? Have you forgotten about her because I sure as hell haven’t. It nearly killed me to leave her behind.” He could still see his twin’s blue eyes, like reflections of his own, pooled with tears as she’d reached for him.
“You didn’t have to go with me, Finn. It was my punishment. Not yours.”
“Fuck that, too. If I hadn’t screamed my bloody head off, they would have killed you the same way our mother was killed. Then I would have lost you both.”
“Fuck. We’re a right mess, aren’t we?” Murphy muttered.
They rode in silence for a ways. Finn figured Murphy was as lost in memory as Finn was. He saw his mother’s face in his mind, heard the tinkling sound of her laughter as if she were beside him even now. Funny how some things faded but others remained vivid even after the long passage of time. He could still smell his mother’s perfume.
Another picture formed in his mind. Long, blonde hair and big, green eyes. The eyes of a cat. He wasn’t sure where that thought had come from, but as soon as it registered, he couldn’t shake it away. He knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that the woman he pictured was a shifter. He heard her voice in his head, repeating the same line over and over again until it became a mantra.
I would have loved you.
Then why the fuck had she left him to die? Why had she walked away? Murphy had told him over and over again how he and Zane hadn’t been sure if Finn would even survive the trip to the cabin in Colorado from the New Mexico hunting lodge where he’d been discovered. Murphy had called it a miracle. Finn knew better. He’d survived because of a kiss, one that still tormented him.
Murphy’s phone rang before he could start in on Finn again. The caller ID popped up on the dashboard, and Murph hit the button to answer. Tah’s voice came out in surround sound, filling the car.
“How far out are you?” Tah asked.
The alpha of their pride was a man both brothers truly admired and respected. So much so they’d dropped everything when another Marine buddy, Reno, had put out an SOS, stating Tah needed help and asking anyone who could to get in touch. Of course, “everything” had really been nothing. They’d been roaming from place to place, bored and restless. Civilian life wasn’t what they’d anticipated when they’d followed on the heels of the rest of their unit and left behind Marine life. Reno’s call had been a lifeline of sorts for them, giving them direction and purpose they’d both needed.
The call from Reno was the last real thing Finn remembered prior to waking up with the Professor and Diane in his mug down in the Colorado labs. He’d known them but had no clue how. They’d told him he’d almost died. Some days, parts of him wondered if maybe he’d been meant to die.
Murph had filled him in on all that had happened between the call from Reno and when Finn had woken up. He knew they’d met up with Tah and the group in Colorado, and that several of their former Marine buddies were shifters just like Murph. He knew he’d been responsible for terrifying Reno’s mate, Amia, and inadvertently, making her relive one of the most panic-inducing moments in her life. He knew he’d left to try to make amends and to protect the rest of their makeshift pride from the hunters closing in on them.
He knew Zane had helped to save his life, and he owed the man more than he could ever repay. He knew Reno and Amia had both forgiven him, and he was humbled by their generosity. Above all, he knew there wasn’t much he wouldn’t do for any member of their extended family.
He focused back on the moment and found Murph throwing him a concerned glance and silence over the speakers.
“What?” Finn said.
“I asked how you are,” Tah replied. “Everything okay?”
“I’m fine,” Finn snapped and regretted it almost instantly. Jesus! What was wrong with him?
“Yeah, there’s a lot of fine going around. Ariel’s fine though she’s reverted back to avoiding most of us whenever possible. Logan’s fine when I can tell he’s anything but fine.”
Ariel was a prickly little Tigress who’d arrived with Gideon and another shifter named Griffin. Griffin was most at home running lab tests and basically doing anything the Professor asked of him. The younger man had gone from dogging at Gideon’s heels to following the Professor around everywhere. They were an interesting pair.
“Logan’s having no luck mending fences with his sister?” Murph asked.
If Reno was Tah’s right hand, Logan was Reno’s. The three men were tight as brothers. Logan and Reno had bounced around after getting out of the Marines, searching for Logan’s baby sister. Logan had been nuts about finding her. Said he had a bad feeling. He’d sent letters to her while he’d been gone, but they’d all been returned to him. Then Reno had been shot outside a bar when he’d stepped in to prevent a woman from being attacked. He’d woken up in the hospital and told Logan they needed to find Tah. So Logan had set aside his search for his sister and followed Reno to find Tah. Funny how that one decision had led him to his sister in the long run.
Finn had never met Logan’s sister, Laura, but he’d heard about her. He rolled his head on his shoulders then shrugged them up around his ears to release some stress.
“…back now but hasn’t really spoken to Logan. I think having her so close and still so far away is hurting him more than when he didn’t know where she was.”
Finn zoned back in to catch the tail end of what Tah was saying.
“Give it time. Sounds like she has her own demons to slay,” Murph said.
Finn swore a growl of displeasure rumbled in his chest, and he shifted in his seat again. Murphy threw him a startled look.
“What was—”
“We’re another couple hours out.” Murphy spoke over Tah. “I’ll check in with you as soon as we get there.”
“Sounds good,” Tah said.
“I’m fine,” Finn snapped, glaring at his brother. What the fuck? Did Murph really think Finn didn’t know what he wanted to see Tah about?
Silence seemed to hang thick in the air again.
“I think we’ll let Gideon decide that. Vic should be here any minute, too. I’ll let her know to have Gideon stick close. I want you to see him as soon as you get here, Finn,” Tah stated.
Vic was another member of their motley Marine crew. She’d watched Finn’s back more than once, and he trusted her to do it again. She’d wound up mated to Gideon, a Jaguar who’d been passing through until he’d locked his teeth into Vic. Now, he stayed close to his mate. It turned out Gideon knew his way around a lab and medical research. He’d proved a huge asset to their group. He definitely had his hands full with some of the anomalies going on right now.
“I don’t—”
“That’s an order,” Tah commanded, his voice almost a roar. Then he continued in a calmer tone. “It’ll be good to have you both back. I’m going to miss Holt. We all are.”
They would, but Holt was happy with his mate and the bear shifters. Finn was a little jealous of him at the moment.
I would have loved you.
He shook his head, not wanting to hear the phantom voice.
“I’ll see you both soon,” Tah said and ended the call.
Murph gave him another sharp look then returned his gaze to the road.
“So Ariel’s pulled back into her shell?” Finn asked, ignoring the look and the tension filling the air.
“Yeah, she doesn’t seem to have taken to Oklahoma any easier than you did. Now, tell me more about the dreams,” Murphy said.
“What did you see that scared you?”
“You were thrashing a bit. You grabbed your leg then put your hand on your stomach. You whispered something. I didn’t catch it. Next thing I knew, you’re screaming loud enough to shatter all the windows.”
Finn knew Murph was lying. There was no way he hadn’t heard whatever Finn had whispered.
“What did I scream?”
Murph glanced in the rearview mirror then over to the side then back to the road in front of them.
“Just fucking tell me what you heard,” Finn demanded.
“You were calling for someone to come back to you, not to leave you. Who’d you meet while they had you, Finn?”
He gave a grim smile and turned to peer out the window again. “No one that I can remember.”
“That’s a lie, and we both know it.”
“What did I whisper? And don’t give me the bullshit answer that you couldn’t make it out.”
Murphy sighed. “Mine. You whispered the word mine. So I’m going to ask you again, brother. Who were you calling out to? Who left you?”
Blonde curls and green eyes. The whispered vow floated through his mind.
I would have loved you.
Then she should have fucking stayed with him! He tried to stifle his anger, knowing Murphy was picking up on it. There were times he hated their connection and times he cherished it. It had saved his life after all.
“Finn?” Murphy prompted.
“I don’t know,” he bit out. “I wish to God I did, Murph. I really wish I did.”
“We’ll figure it out,” Murphy promised.
Finn nodded, but he lacked Murphy’s certainty.
Chapter Two
Laura knew she had to stop avoiding her brother, especially since Logan went out of his way to be in her path every day. He was pressing for a confrontation with her, but she wasn’t ready. Not yet. No one seemed to understand how hard it was for her. They all took Logan’s side, making a point of telling her how he’d searched for her. No less than three of his friends had informed her of the letters he’d written to her and how they’d all been returned. No one needed to educate her on how big a pair of selfish assholes her parents had been. They probably still were. She knew them better than any of Logan’s friends ever could, possibly even better than her brother did.
It was as if everyone expected her to throw away a lifetime of hurt just because Logan was suddenly there. In a perfect world, maybe, but they all fucking knew there was nothing perfect about this world. She was glad he was here, glad he was healthy and happy. She easily picked up on his love for his mate. If anything, it made it even harder for her. As always, Logan seemed to be the golden boy. No one had a bad word to say about him. He was perfect, utterly perfect, while she was anything but. Her life was sheer hell, a fact she refused to share with anyone else. It was her burden to bear.
She needed to see Gabriel or Daniel, if he was here. The brothers had saved her life. Gabriel had found her staked to the ground about to be raped. The memory clutched at her chest, and bile rose in her throat. She felt it as if it were yesterday. Stripped and spread wide, ropes burning her wrists and ankles as she fought to break her bindings. She’d been drugged though, with the perfect cocktail to keep her snow leopard deeply asleep while they did what they wanted to Laura.
Two male shifters had been with her. Both drugged with some type of aphrodisiac that had made them lust for her. Though neither had been her mate, both would have fought to the death to take her. One of them had. Thankfully, Gabriel had stopped either of them from getting to her. Those who didn’t know him referred to him as The Angel, a savior of the people. She was one of the few who knew how true that was. He was her angel. He’d saved her, and it was a debt she could never repay. Through him, she’d met Daniel and gained two brothers to replace the one she’d lost. At least, she’d almost convinced herself of that.
“I’d like to speak with you.”
Laura almost cringed at the angry, feminine tone. She should have expected Logan’s mate to be watching for her.
“I’m in a hurry,” Laura lied.
Clara waved it off. “I don’t care. You can damn well make time to speak to me.”
Laura arched a brow and glared at the other woman.
“I don’t want to be enemies,” Clara said with a hint of sadness in her voice. “I love him. Logan means everything to me. He stepped into my life when I needed someone most. He challenged me, fought me, fought for me. Most of all, he loved me. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him.”
“I’m happy for you two.”
Clara growled. “I don’t know what the fuck your reasons are for keeping this distance from him. You know he wrote you. You know he searched for you. Yet, you still choose to punish him.”