The Wolf You Feed Arc (28 page)

They continued to whine and gripe until they reached the drop box. Tore retrieved his spare sweat pants and put them on. “God, you boys can argue black is white! Why don’t you give it a rest?” He strode off, leaving them buck-naked at the trailhead. Neither had thought to leave extra pants in the drop box. They looked from one to another. Now what were they going to do?

***

A few days later Tore could no longer stand their bad attitudes. “It’s only going to be a matter of time before one of you transitions in front of Johan and Eveline, then this secret will be out.”
 

Tore was going to take them into the wilderness, where he planned to teach them to control their alter egos. They needed a safer, more secluded environment to let off steam while they got used to their new forms.

Although it was high season at the Lodge, Liam gave Tore and Rune a month off. Liam had seen first-hand the issues Tore was dealing with, when he’d separated the boys while Tore was out with clients. He shook his head, chuckling at Tore’s dilemma. “Pay back is a bitch Tore, do you remember what we put our dad through?”

They planned the logistics and drew up a schedule. Tore arranged to meet up with Kachina, Johan, and Eveline at Hania’s cabin later in the summer. She wanted to take her kids to visit their grandfather, and this seemed like a good time for them to make the trip.
 

“Of course I don’t mind Tore, it will give Jojo and Eva a chance to learn some of my family’s traditions.” Tore nodded, hoping Kachina meant her Hopi customs and not her Skin Walker ones. He still wasn’t prepared for them to know about their mother’s or father’s own unique cultures. She patted him on the hand, “I promised you. I won’t say anything. But it will be good for Hania to observe them, see if there are any signs I missed.”
 

He nodded, “But we will discuss it before you say anything, if he spots something?”

“Of course.”

He kissed her goodbye and looked over at Kjell and Rune squabbling by the truck, “Wish me luck!”

“It’ll be fine. They’re both good lads. This will do them good. They will come back as men.”

Tore grinned at the thought. He climbed into the truck and wound down the window. “I’ll see you in July, keep out of trouble won’t you?”

She laughed. Standing on tiptoe, she kissed him goodbye, “It should be me saying that to you Tore. I mean what trouble could I get into at my dad’s?”

 
26

Two days after Tore left with the boys, Liam received a letter addressed to Annike. He was shocked when it arrived. His brother’s mate had been dead thirteen years. The sight of her name written on the front of the envelope made his stomach lurch. The zip code said it was from Cody and that worried him. It had to be from someone at the commune. Annike’s name on the letter made him think it might be from Nea and not his brother.

“I don’t know what to do with it,” he said, showing it to Kachina. “We have no way of forwarding it to Tore and he won’t be back until the end of the summer.” Liam held the letter out to her, his hand shaking. “If Nea is writing now, after all this time, it must be something important.”

“Okay, Liam, thanks. I’ll see to it.”

***

Kachina felt the weight of the envelope in her hand. It was surprisingly light for something that potentially held so much. She hoped, this letter would bring closure or reconciliation for Tore and not open old wounds.
 

She placed it on the mantelpiece, while she tried to decide what to do about it. Hours later, it was in her hand once more. Kachina found herself drawn to it over and over again. She picked it up and put it down more than fifty times that day. She couldn’t resist its calling any longer. One finger slid under the corner and ripped along the seam.

Inside were several sheets of paper and a second envelope. The second letter had Rune’s name printed in elegant letters across the front. She placed that back on the mantelpiece. Unfolding the thin paper, she looked to the end of the last sheet and saw Nea’s signature. Her eyes went to the unopened letter on the fireplace. She’d leave it there until the boys returned. And then, whether Tore liked it or not, she’d find a way of passing it on to Rune.
 

Kachina knew Rune would want to hear from his mother. He’d been asking questions, wanted information about who he was. She owed him the chance to read the only letter his mom had ever sent to him. Maybe it would hold some of the answers he was searching for.

Taking Nea’s letter to the couch, Kachina placed it on the coffee table and made a cup of tea. Not that she was thirsty, but making the herbal tea delayed the inevitable. She sensed that reading the letter would change things. She just hoped that it would be for the best.

PO Box 26,

Cody, Wyoming.

My Dearest Annike,

This letter will probably come as a surprise to you, as it’s been a couple of years since my last. You never replied to my previous letters, so I’m unsure if you received them or not.

In an attempt to make sure this one gets through, I’ve opened a new post office box and posted it myself this time. It’s possible Felix has been trying to protect me in the past and has not carried out his side of the bargain. At least, I hope your lack of response is not through your own personal choice or that Tore has been keeping my letters from you.

With the boys’ transition year underway, my heart has felt particularly heavy. I’ve missed you all so much, Annike. This exile has been harder than I could have ever imagined. I wish I’d never begged Tore to bring me back. These past years have been harder to bear, than those spent away from Felix.

I’ve never had the opportunity to say how sorry I was for putting you through so much. When Isak told me, he had given Rune to Tore and let them go, I wept for days. But in the end, the thought of what could have happened to Tore and my son made me grateful they’d escaped with their lives. I had to be content that my son was safe, and would grow up within a family that would take care of him and love him.

Being apart from Rune has hurt so much more than I could have imagined. Now he is going through his transition, I wonder about the man he is becoming. Tell me Annike, what does he look like? What is his favorite food? What does he like to do?

I know that both you and Tore will have brought him up well. He has, no doubt, turned into a fine young man. When I see the transitioning males in the commune, I can’t help but wonder how things might have been different.

I would love to hear from you, Annike. I crave news about both Kjell and Rune. Did you and Tore ever have any more children? Where has life taken you?
 

I hope this letter reaches you. I don’t even know if you are still in contact with Liam, let alone living at the Lodge. But if you receive it, please find it in your heart to forgive me, and pass on the letter I have written to Rune.

There is no hidden agenda. It just explains why I had to give him up. I have not asked him to contact me, nor included a return address. It’s up to you and Tore to decide if that is appropriate. If you’re unsure about handing him the letter please read it first, to ease your minds.

Thank you, Annike, for everything you have ever done for me, and if Tore can bear to listen, please tell him how grateful I am for everything. Once again, I apologize with all my heart for what I did to our wonderful family and hope you can find it within yours, to forgive me.

All my love, Nea.

Kachina folded the letter and dropped it into her lap. She wiped her eyes with her sleeve. Her heart ached hearing of the pain of a mother, who’d given up her son under such desperate circumstances.

She wondered if Tore had ever received any of Nea’s other letters. He never mentioned it to her. Was he unable to reply to them? Were the memories still too painful? She couldn’t imagine Tore being heartless, though. He had already risked his life once for this woman. She would be surprised if he’d deliberately allow Nea to go on thinking that Annike was alive. Putting down her cup, she went to find Liam.

“Liam, does all of Tore’s post come through the Lodge’s mail?”

“Sure,” he said. “Why do you ask?”

“Um, I was wondering if Tore received any letters from Nea before.”

“Not that I know of. Tore never mentioned anything and I never saw any.”

It seemed that Nea’s suspicions were correct. This Felix, whoever he might be, had not posted her letters.

Walking back to the cabin, Kachina decided to reply to Nea. She knew she should check with Tore first, but it would be over a month before she’d see him again. The thought of Nea waiting so long for news broke her heart.

Kachina knew little about Nea, except that she was Rune’s birth mother. But she knew the reason she and Tore had met in Casper, was because Nea had chosen to return to the clan, where they were born.

Before she had time to change her mind, Kachina wrote to Nea. It was the hardest thing she’d ever done. The letter explained how and when Annike had passed, and that Tore and she were now married. She described Rune telling Nea how talented he was at woodwork and how handsome he had become. She told her how he’d recently been searching for answers to his past and promised to pass on the letter even if she had to keep it from Tore.

She encouraged Nea to write back with any questions. Before sealing up the envelope, Kachina included Rune and Kjell’s portraits from high school. As an afterthought, she dropped in a picture of the whole family taken by the lake a few months ago. It wasn’t a great picture but it showed all the children as well as Liam’s family.

After she sealed the envelope, she drove into town to mail it. She was afraid that if she left it in the Lodge’s mailbox, she’d change her mind and retrieve it before the mailman picked it up the next day.

***

A week later, another letter arrived from Cody. This time it was addressed to Kachina. Tucking the letter into her cardigan pocket, she hurried back to the cabin to read it. Settling down on the couch she tore it open. Nervous anticipation made her stomach lurch as she unfolded the creamy paper inside.

PO Box 26,

Cody, Wyoming.

Dear Kachina,

You cannot begin to understand how much your letter meant to me. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for having the courage to send it.
 

It broke my heart to hear that Annike had died. Looking at the date of her death, I now realize that Tore’s exit from the commune did not happen as I’d been told. After reading your letter, I questioned Felix about what happened.

Felix told me, that after Tore fled with Rune, Erik had him followed. Isak (Tore’s father) had been sick for a long time. As fate would have it, just hours after Tore left, Isak passed away and Erik went back on his father’s promise.

According to Felix, Erik sent trackers after Tore who traced him to where they were staying and then followed them as they left Cody. Felix found this out a few months later. He’d gone to Erik to ask if he would let me see Rune. He was worried about me and knew I was finding it hard without my son. Erik told Felix that Tore, Annike, and the boys were dead. He boasted that he’d made sure that Tore got what he deserved.
 

From what you told me, you and your father arrived just in time to save Tore and the boys’ lives. The wolves you sent fleeing were, in all probability, Tore’s brothers and David. Lucky for you, Erik was so convinced that his brother was dead, he didn’t go back to check.

Felix was surprised when I showed him your letter. He sat and wept at the news that Tore wasn’t dead. His heart had broken when he found out about Erik’s attack. Felix loved your husband and was so grateful that Tore had brought me back to him. He kept what he knew from me, because he couldn’t bear to tell me Rune was dead.

Looking back, it’s hard to imagine how my mate carried all this sorrow inside him for all these years. But although I know he kept this from me to protect me, the false hopes it gave now gnaw at me.
 

I take some comfort in the fact that Erik still thinks he is dead. As long as Erik believes this, Tore and the boys are protected.

Felix says we have to be careful. Erik is dangerous. He does not believe it was a coincidence that Isak died a few hours after he pardoned Tore.