Soul of a Whore and Purvis (8 page)

They had you on with Ron the Levitator

And that frog-voice freak transvestite with a lisp

Driving his spangled automatic wheelchair,

Jimmy—

NURSE
:               Boggs! “The Singer of the South”!

You oughta heal his
singing
!

BILL JENKS
:                                      There are limits.

WILL
: I have to say, he does look like he's healed.

Healed by whom, by use of which powers,

I couldn't guess. Or even healed of what.

But, anyway, he's acting different now.

BILL JENKS
: That's right. He ran a marathon last month.

WILL
: That's right. He came in way behind the pack.

BILL JENKS
: That's right, and running on two legs. His spangled

Wheelchair graces our museum now.

WILL
: They mentioned that—You have your own museum!

BILL JENKS
: Most of one. Construction's under way.

WILL
: Construction's stalled, according to
Sixty Minutes
,

Stalled while the IRS and FTC

Shine a light on your money.

BILL JENKS
:                                    Let it shine,

There ain't a lot to see.

WILL
:                                       You claim you're clean.

BILL JENKS
: Nope. I just claim there isn't any money.

SIMON
: THERE'S NEVER BEEN A SWEETER RIDE TO HELL

BILL JENKS
: This one's getting agitated now.

STACY
: I take it you're a husband-and-wife team?

BILL JENKS
: We are as siblings.

WILL
:                                        Ooh, you two are
juicy.

SIMON
: I'll climb back up your cunt and suck your mind

The way we used to do when we were lovers

JAN
: Simon! Shame on you!

STACY
:                                  Well, talk about a mouth!

BILL JENKS
: You recognize him, don't you? Yes. You do.

MASHA
: It's him. It's him.

STACY
:                                Do you
eat
with that mouth?

DOC
: Actually, he's nourished through this tube.

MASHA
: I'm free of you! You hear? Leave me alone!

WILL
: Just grab his scrotum there to shut him up.

Just reach on out—go on—and shake the hand

Of the old banana, with a manly grip.

NURSE
: Doctor Nasum, please, this doesn't seem—

WILL
: Take hold! There can't be any harm in it,

Right? Big deal, as far as he's concerned…

I used to get him down and drool a strand—

Now this'll git 'im, if he's there a-tall—

And slurp it back—

NURSE
:                                  Now, what on
earth
!—

WILL
:                                                                            Aha!

STACY
: You can't spit in a coma person's face!

WILL
: You get a pain response? Huh, buddy? There!

NURSE
: For goodness' sakes alive, he's
hurting
him!

They restrain him,
DOC
and
NURSE
taking either arm.

WILL
: The point is that I'm
not.
He doesn't hurt.

But everybody else—this family,

Our parents, this man's wife, his wife's relations—

Het up by this fireball of faith,

Yinked and yanked by hope in God like gobs

Of spit he dangles from his fat, red mouth—

His doctor shouldn't let them play these games.

I want this sucker ceremony canceled!

Who is actually in attendance here?

NURSE
: It's Dr. Cassady. He makes his rounds

Just after lunch on weekdays, Sir.

WILL
: Then page old Hopalong immediately.

Come on!—He doesn't want to see his patient

Used like bait to fish for dollars, does he?

SIMON
: LET IT THUNDER FARTS AND RAIN DOWN VOMIT

JAN
: STACY!

STACY
[
grabbing
SIMON
'
s crotch
]: Hon, it's simple courtesy.

MASHA
: He's wild for me. The demon's wild for me.

WILL
: Jesus Christ, Morticia—lighten up!

BILL JENKS
: I'd like to be alone with Simon now.

WILL
: Go right ahead. Remember—manly grip!

DOC
and
NURSE
begin dragging
WILL
out.

BILL JENKS
: No—Let him stay. I want him here. Let go.

DOC
: If
I
were Simon's primary physician—

BILL JENKS
: Go on, the rest of you. Leave us alone.

[
To
MASHA
] You especially. We can't have you here.

All exit.
BJ
alone with
WILL
and
SIMON
.
WILL
collects himself, goes to window.

WILL
: What's he saying?…(Jesus. What a morning…)

Sights…heights…Keep your eyes—the prize—

BILL JENKS
: Keep your sights

On the heights

Keep your eyes

WILL
:                            On the prize. The guy's a public nuisance.

BILL JENKS
: He's with me.

WILL
:                              He would be, wouldn't he?

…I'm calmer now.

BILL JENKS
:                       No need to apologize.

WILL
: I feel no need. I'm not apologizing.

My position hasn't altered; I'm just calmer.

Simon, too.

BILL JENKS
:            I don't expect you like this

Invasion of your realm—

WILL
:                                         It ain't my realm.

I'm not a doctor. I'm just Simon's brother.

BILL JENKS
: I thought you were a medical man.

WILL
:                                                               I am.

BILL JENKS
: Then please don't be so hostile. I don't go

So far as to suggest you look on us

As colleagues, but I think we share a goal.

WILL
: I'm a technician of a very special kind.

I don't fix people. Quite the opposite.

I supervise the termination teams.

BILL JENKS
: Sounds like you're in the personnel division.

WILL
: No.—The tie-down team, the I-V team…

BILL JENKS
:                                                        I see.

WILL
: Next to me, boys, Lucifer never fell.

BILL JENKS
: You execute the folks.

WILL
:                                              That's not quite true.

We execute the sentence, not the person.

BILL JENKS
: And who, exactly, executes the person?

WILL
: “To execute” means “to carry out.”

Well, I guess in the end we carry them out.

…So you do the opposite of what I do.

BILL JENKS
: I've never raised the dead.

WILL
:                                                   But—in a sense.

BILL JENKS
: I've never raised the dead.

WILL
:                                                   Why don't you try?

Go where the dead go. Haunt the mortuaries.

Give 'em the razzle-dazzle of your gift

And see if anybody cheats the grave…

—What's the matter with him now? My God!

BILL JENKS
: The demon's agitated. SETTLE DOWN!

…I wonder where you know my assistant from?

WILL
: Morticia? Man, I've seen that honey shake

Her titties! You a preacher, or a pimp?

BILL JENKS
: The line between the two is faint. I think

It moves. I've found myself on either side.

WILL
: You didn't move yourself?

BILL JENKS
:                                 Not to my knowledge…

Maybe…If I moved, I didn't feel it…

Well, I just had to ask. Not my affair,

But I was curious. Now you can leave.

WILL
: You think you're safe alone? I mean, he's strong—

He may be out of it, but—

BILL JENKS
:                                    I'll be fine.

WILL
: The Lord protects you.

BILL JENKS
:                           I believe he does.

WILL
: You trust in the Lord.

BILL JENKS
:                          I find him predictable…

We've got three this week. Uh. Tuesday, Wednesday,

I think Thursday…Thursday?

WILL
:                                                  So do we.

BILL JENKS
: Yes, three…Three executions in three days?

WILL
: Hey, I don't make the reservations, boys.

I just fly the plane.

BILL JENKS
:                      Here and yonder,

Even in prison, I've met up with good

And decent people. But…How do you say this?…

I've never met one in the mirror.

WILL
:                                                  …Yeah…

O well, that's life, huh?

BILL JENKS
:                             That's life on Death Row.

WILL
: I don't get you. Do you believe, or not?

Do you really heal? And cleanse these souls

Of maladies and spirits? Do you care?

BILL JENKS
: The gift is real, but I just turn a buck.

I turn a buck, he executes his vague

Intentions on a baffled universe:

Win-win…Of course, he screws with me.

That's his style—the gift, and then the gag.

And in return I fail to reverence him,

Fail in gratitude. I fail to love him.

WILL
: Wow! You
are
an existentialist.

It's a little hard to see that message landing

Anywhere. It's no surprise you're bankrupt.

BILL JENKS
: Aah, they're just watching television, man.

I tell it like I see it, but I doubt

There's anybody listening. Faith is scary.

Faith affords its consolations, sure—

By opening the maw to the dark depths

Where going blind and getting lost and hurt

Seem understandable and natural,

And all night long two graces fall like rain:

A tragic sense of life, and hope of Heaven.

WILL
: Are grace and Heaven all you've got to offer?

Man, I've watched one hundred twenty people

Die because I killed them with a button.

I've seen them breathe their last—the air

Goes out, and out, and then they kind of shiver

And there's this second where you know it's over

And it ain't never gonna start again.

…On summer evenings I sit on my porch

And listen to this train that comes along.

I listen to the wheels bang on the tracks,

I listen to the whistle drag the air

And fill the world, and fade, and leave it empty,

And I am gonna tell you: Heaven never

Dreamt of anything as sweet as that:

To listen to a train and not be dead.

VOICE ON RADIO:
Insects are often the only witnesses

To a crime.

BILL JENKS
[
to
SIMON
]: Did you turn that thing on?

WILL
: It wasn't me.

BILL JENKS
:             Well turn the damn thing off.

VOICE ON RADIO
: The president's order has been disobeyed.

Soft music on radio…

BILL JENKS
: All right. It's time you left us, please.

WILL
: Don't
heal
, or even
touch
, or even
think

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