Authors: Mandy Baggot
Chapter Eleven
He’d watched her push the meal around her plate over the last twenty minutes or so, and he knew she was counting every mouthful. He didn’t understand it. How did someone get that way? Was it a nervous habit she had picked up because of all the scrutiny she had to endure in her work, or was this constant anxiety borne out of her fucked up relationship with her parents? Or was it a result of her relationship with that dipshit of a boyfriend? Juan—the bald-headed, sunglasses-wearing rapper who called himself Rockweiler. He’d seen how that bloke operated. Juan talked out of his arse and wouldn’t know reality if it came up and shot him in the head. Now
, that idea was tempting.
Autumn took a large mouthful of wine and put a strand of tagliatelle into her mouth. Nathan had finished his meal ages ago but hadn’t moved. He sat opposite her, toying with his wineglass, watching her every move. The creamy sauce was likely laden with calories, and she had eaten almost half of the huge portion he had served her. But there was nowhere to dispose of the food here. He had his eyes on her. There was no way she was going to get away from this table without clearing her plate. She felt five years old all over again. A distraction, she needed to distract him.
“So, where are you from? Obviously not London,” Autumn said, putting her fork down and nursing her glass of wine.
“Obviously?”
“Well, I mean your accent is…” Autumn started.
“I’m from Hull,” he told her.
“I haven’t been there.”
He let out a laugh and breathed air in through his nostrils. His eyes creased up and he leaned back in his chair. She dropped her eyes to her plate and pushed a mushroom around. Embarrassment washed over her again.
“It isn’t somewhere you set out to visit. Although it does have a tourist information center—fuck knows why,” he said, shaking his head.
“Do you still live there? I mean, when you’re not doing this sort of thing?”
“God, no.”
“So, where do you—”
“Not Chigwell or Chelsea,” he responded with a smile.
She gave him a timid one back but let out a quiet breath of frustration. He wasn’t going to tell her where he lived. He probably wasn’t
allowed
to tell her where he lived. He was, after all, someone employed by her mother, someone used to keeping secrets, someone who dealt with the truth by wrapping it up in a package of lies.
“Remember our deal?” Nathan asked, watching her swirling the pasta around with her fork.
“I’m so full, I don’t think I can manage it all.” Autumn sighed and put her hands to her stomach.
“Oh, I think you can.”
His eyes were fixed on her. She looked from him to the dinner plate and collected another miniscule amount on her fork.
“So, what is it with you and food?” he asked. “Isn’t it a bit 1990s to have an eating disorder? Aren’t people into drinking those fucking friendly bacteria drinks and running on treadmills tuned into their iPods to stay in shape now?”
“I don’t have an eating disorder, I just have a small appetite.”
“Yeah, of course,” Nathan said with a nod.
“What’s it to you, anyway? Why does it matter to you how much I eat? I mean you’re not my dietician!”
“Why does it matter to me? You want to know?” He leaned across the table toward her.
She nodded. Now that he had leaned forward, almost aggressively, she wasn’t sure she
did
want to know.
“These people, whoever they are, are going to come for you, and, like I told you before, when they do, you’re not going to last very long on five strands of pasta, two bits of onion, and a couple of mushrooms. You need to be fit. You need to be healthy. You need to be prepared for anything that happens.”
“But, they won’t take me. That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? To stop them from taking me.” Autumn looked at him for confirmation.
“I don’t know whether I
can
stop them,” Nathan admitted.
“But, you said…you said you’d make sure…” she began as fear wrapped itself around her like an invisible cloak.
“You’ve got to trust me, Autumn, no matter what happens. No matter what
I
tell you, no matter what anyone else tells you, you
have
to trust me. I can’t stress that enough.” He reached across the table and took hold of her hands.
Pins and needles pricked her forearms as he squeezed her hands in his. Those blue and gold eyes bored into her, trying to find their way into her deepest thoughts, her most hidden away dreams, and her multitude of fears.
She opened her mouth to speak and two fat tears fell from her eyes and snaked their way down her cheeks. “Is Juan really sleeping with Janey?” she asked. Her voice was weak and hoarse then she closed her eyes, bracing herself for his reply.
“Yes,” he responded.
She squeezed her eyes shut even more, trying to crush the feeling that was brewing in her head, a feeling that threatened to set off a reaction, a loss of control. Her boyfriend and her personal assistant, her best friend, both of them cheats and liars, both of them thinking they could make a fool out of her. They may not have ever said anything meaningful to her, but they were all she had.
“Listen, don’t feel bad about it. They’re a match made in Heaven from what I’ve seen, and you can do a lot better. I mean what sort of bloke puts olive oil on his head?” Nathan asked.
Autumn snapped open her eyes and wiped them with the back of her hand. She took a firm hold of her wine glass and emptied the contents down her throat.
“He even had it imported,” she said with a sniff.
“Wanker.”
She loaded her fork up with food and opened her mouth as wide as possible to fit it all in.
“More wine?” Nathan suggested, offering her the bottle.
With her mouth full of food, Autumn replied, “Yes, please, and…do you have chocolate?”
Nathan smiled and nodded his approval.
“I’ll look, but don’t hold your breath for Cadbury
’s.”
He’d found a bar of dark chocolate in a cupboard full of baking ingredients. He could only assume it belonged to the owner. He watched her as she broke off square after square and urgently pushed them into her mouth. He wasn’t sure eating the entire bar would be enough to deal with what he was going to tell her next.
He took a large mouthful of wine and swallowed it for something like Dutch courage. He was losing his way here, and if he wasn’t careful, she would see that.
She looked across at him from her position on the sofa. As soon as she’d opened the chocolate, she’d almost forgotten where she was and even who she was. She’d taken up a position in the middle of the cream fabric settee, folded her legs underneath her, and put everything else to the back of her mind. Only now, eight cubes in, did she remember he was there.
“Would you like some?” she offered.
“No, you eat it. Think of it as a sweetener,” he said, moving into the lounge area.
“What do you mean?” She popped another square into her mouth.
“I want you to call Janey.” Nathan set his wine glass on the coffee table and sat down in the armchair closest to her.
“To fire her? To tell her what a complete bitch she is for sleeping with my boyfriend?”
“No. You don’t know about that. I want everything to be normal. I want you to call her and get her to arrange a party tomorrow night. Contact all the press, all the influential people you know, your producer, Juan, the guy that cuts your hair, everyone you would normally invite to an event.”
“That isn’t how these things work. Events are planned months in advance,” she said, breaking off another square of chocolate. “What sort of event anyway? What’s the occasion? You don’t get influential people turning up for just anything.”
“Brand new song you’re going to perform at the awards ceremony—performed live, an acoustic number for the elite to see before the worldwide premiere,” he said.
She was concerned by the enthusiasm in his expression. It looked unnatural for him.
“I haven’t written a brand new song.”
“Not yet,” he glanced at his watch, “but you’ve got almost twenty-four hours.”
“Song writing doesn’t work like that. It isn’t a process. It’s organic!”
“So’s the chocolate, but does that really make it better?”
“I don’t understand. Why would you want to arrange a party? The whole idea of you bringing me here is so I’m out of the public eye, away from the threats, isn’t it? Where has this come from? Have you had orders to do this or what?”
“In a controlled, maintained environment, I need to put you at risk,” Nathan stated.
She watched him bring his eyes up to meet hers, and she tightened the muscles in her stomach and sat up straight.
“That doesn’t sound like such a good plan,” she said, the words slipping from her lips. A visible shiver waved over her and she moved her fingers to pull at the hem of her dress.
“Listen, I promise you, I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t think it was necessary.”
“I don’t understand. How is this going to help?” Her throat was coated in chocolate, and a ball of emotion was trying to slither its way up into her tear ducts. She was a layer of cocoa away from crying.
“I think there’s more than one threat,” Nathan stated. He stood up after that announcement and made his way over to the doors that led out to the deck.
She watched him put his hands to the back of his head and take a long, inward breath. “What do you mean?”
He didn’t answer. He was facing the lake, looking out into the mid-distance, in some sort of reverie.
“Tell me what you mean,” Autumn begged.
He turned around sharply and his thunderous expression spoke a thousand words.
“Phone Janey; get her to arrange a party at the Ricardo Hotel in Charlevoix for tomorrow night—eight o’clock. Get Baldie there. Get your producer there, Janey, other celebrities, the usual sort of mix—however it’s normally done. Get her to organize drinks, the catering, everything. And get the press there, British, as well as American—the glossy magazines, the tabloids, everyone,” he stated.
“It isn’t that easy. Those sorts of people have longstanding commitments and prior arranged schedules. One preview of a song isn’t going to make them drop everything and fly across the world.”
She was trying her best not to become flustered at his tone and the way he barked out the orders. She was starting to realize that was just the way he was. He didn’t seem to know how to behave any differently. He didn’t know light and shade. He just had dark and darker.
“We’re going to give them something else, as well as the song,” Nathan said with a determined nod.
“What?”
“We’re going to introduce the world to your new boyfriend.”
“But I don’t have…” As she started the sentence, reality dawned on her, and she met his gaze, her bottom jaw dropping open.
“More wine darlin’?” Nathan asked, offering her the bottle.
Chapter Twelve
He watched her as she looked at his cell phone. He’d given it to her a whole five minutes ago, and since that time, she’d paced the room, gone out onto the deck, and then counted the number of fronds on the fir trees outside. Now she was staring at the phone as if she was wondering what to do with it. All she had to do was make the call, be all business about getting her PA to arrange the party. But when you’d just found out she’d been shagging your bloke—well, women let their emotions rule them, didn’t they?
This was never going to work. No one would ever believe that she, Autumn Raine, was dating someone like
him
. He had to be at least ten years older. Yes, he might have scrubbed up well after a shower and a shave, but it wasn’t enough. He’d probably never heard of Dolce & Gabbana, and there was no way he would know how to spell it. He wasn’t her usual type and everyone would see that.
She let out a breath and looked out over the lake. The heat of the day had subsided and there was a cool breeze coming off the waves. She sucked in the air and held it as long as she could.
Pretending to be with someone like Nathan would practically kill Juan, even if he
was
sleeping with Janey. She could publically humiliate him in front of the world’s press—teach him a lesson for playing her. She could make people believe anything. She had that power because of who she was and where she stood—at the top of the pop mountain. If she said she was in a relationship with Nathan then she was in a relationship with Nathan. It wasn’t like she hadn’t spun things before.
She punched in the international dialing code and continued on with the rest of Janey’s cell phone number.
It started to ring, and, as the tone bleeped in her ear, the reality of what she was about to do threatened to engulf her. She pulled the phone away and prepared to end the call.
“Hello, Janey Jacobs.”
Even without speakerphone, Autumn heard her answer. She put the cell back to her ear and forced the words out of her mouth.
“Hi, Janey, it’s me,” she said, smiling widely in the hope the expression would filter into her voice.
“Autumn! Where on Earth are you? Has something happened? I’ve been trying to call you since yesterday morning, but your cell phone says it’s unobtainable.”
So she had realized she wasn’t around, not that it mattered now she was a liar and a cheat.
“Oh, I lost it, somewhere between my mother and the record company. Listen, I need you to do something for me.”
Autumn started to walk. Movement injected pace into her tone, made her feel in control of the conversation. She needed to get all this out and ignore the fact that what she really wanted to do was tell Janey she knew about her and Juan and then call her a whore.
“I’ll arrange a new phone right away, but where are you? You have the art gallery opening remember? Should I cancel?” Janey continued.
“Yes, cancel. Cancel everything for the next week or so.”
“What? Autumn, what’s going on?”
“Nothing…everything…I’ve…I’ve met someone,” Autumn spoke, turning around to face the house.
“What are you talking about?”
“I’ve met someone, you know? A guy.
” Autumn couldn’t bring herself to look at Nathan. “Do I have to spell it out? I’ve met someone, someone special.” Autumn grimaced over the words.
She turned, looked into the house. She could see Nathan staring out onto the deck, observing her. She swallowed and remembered what she was trying to achieve with this phone call—his plan to identify the extent of the threats, and her plan to humiliate her boyfriend and fire Janey.
“Autumn, what are you talking about? Met who? Where are you? What’s going on?”
“I need you to arrange a party. I’m in love, Janey, and I want the world to know. Plus, it will be fantastic publicity for the awards. Pull all the strings you have control of
and
those you don’t. I’ll give
The Spectator
an exclusive interview, and line up
Star Life
magazine for a four-page spread. Whatever fee they offer, this isn’t about the money.”
“Are you okay? You don’t sound yourself. Where exactly are you? I can send a car to pick you up.”
“Are you listening to me? Are you taking notes? I need a party arranged, tomorrow night, in Charlevoix. The best hotel there. The Ricardo.”
Irritated that Janey dared to question her, Autumn longed to reach down the line and grab hold of her Clarins
-moisturized neck.
“Where is Charlevoix?”
“It’s in Michigan, Janey, in the US. Use Google Maps if you have to. Just get everyone there tomorrow night at eight.”
“Everyone?”
“What’s the matter with you? How many events have you helped organize? What’s the problem this time?”
“Well, it’s short notice
, and it’s the other side of the world. I mean, who is this new man, and what about Juan?” Janey questioned.
“Invite Juan. It’s important that he comes. I don’t want any awkwardness. We’re all grown-ups, and relationships in this business come and go
.” Including those with your lying, back-stabbing personal assistant you considered a friend. “He knows that. Listen, Janey, I really appreciate all your help. I don’t care how you do it, just get people there. Hire a fleet of jets if you have to. Okay?”
She was holding in her breath so hard, it was starting to hurt her ribcage. All those lies, one after another—it wasn’t natural to her. She was used to only embellishing the truth if she had to, but telling lies to someone she had been close to was difficult.
“Is that where you are? At this Ricardo hotel?” Janey inquired.
“Not exactly, I’m...” she began.
Nathan was still looking out of the window at her. He hadn’t told her not to tell Janey where she was before he’d handed her the phone. But then again, why did Janey need to know where she was? She would see her at the party tomorrow.
“You’re...?” Janey asked.
“Listen, I’ve got to go. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Autumn spoke quickly then pushed the end button.
The breath flew from her mouth, rushing out of her lungs in one gigantic gust. She felt sick, and, suddenly, so very exhausted. She leaned against the wood fence that edged the deck and focused on the sunset across the lake. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the last few rays of sun on her face.
“Did you tell her where you were?”
Nathan’s voice, even so close, didn’t shock her at all. She pushed away from the rail, opened her eyes, and looked up at him.
“No,” she responded.
“Why not?” he asked.
“I don’t know. It didn’t feel right, and I got the feeling she really wanted to know,” Autumn replied.
A smile grew on his mouth, and he passed her the glass of wine he’d been holding.
“You’re learning.” He gave her an appreciative nod.
“Well, what I really need to learn about is you. Now, I know your whole life is probably some sort of mystery, full of fake identities and secrets, but I need to know more about you if we’re going to convince a room full of people that we’re having some sort of relationship. Now
, I don’t care if you want to make something up, but I need to know details to pull this off.” She swigged back the wine, downing half the contents in one go.
“I’m Nathan Regan, and I’m from Hull. I’m thirty-six, I own a successful global company called Drive that deals in state-of-the-art computer software. We met at the Grosvenor Hotel, and I asked you to accompany me to Michigan where I will be attending a conference.
He shrugged his shoulders. “Need anything else?”
“The press will check all this, you know. You can’t just say you head up a multinational company and think no one will look it up,” Autumn told him.
“D’you think I haven’t done this before?”
“Of course, you do this sort of stuff all the time. Stupid me,” she said with a heavy sigh.
“Look, it doesn’t really matter if they believe this or not. The most important thing is putting you on display and giving me a reason to be there right next to you.”
“Can’t you just be my bodyguard?” Autumn suggested.
“You need to trust me, Autumn, no matter what I tell you to do. Remember?”
“I trusted Janey and look how that turned out.” Autumn drank down the remainder of the wine.
“Who
do
you trust?” Nathan asked hypothetically. “Yeah, I get it—you never really know. If I had the foolproof answer to that one, one-hundred percent, I’d be retiring to the Seychelles,” he said, putting his hands on the fence and stretching his arms out.
“Is that where you’d like to go? There’s nothing much there. Just sand and water and five-star hotels,” she told him.
“I’ve heard the fishing’s good. Diving and fishing, walking, five-star hotels, I’d fit in just fine,” he insisted with a grin.
“You’d have to take off your diving suit for the restaurants. Gentlemen are required to wear long trousers and formal shoes for dinner,” Autumn informed him.
“What’s a formal shoe?”
“Not Havaianas,” she responded with a snort.
“So, where would you go if you could go anywhere?”
“I
can
go anywhere. It doesn’t change you though. Life doesn’t suddenly become perfect or even easier.” She nursed the wineglass in her hands.
“You’ve got the world at your feet. You’re twenty-seven, you’re beautiful, you’ve got your whole life in front of you,” he said, studying her face.
She lifted her head, gazed at him, and whispered, “No one ever calls me beautiful.”
There was real pain etched on her face. He could see that so clearly. She ached inside for some reason. She’d been taken apart by someone or something, gradually, like picking a scab over and over, and she carried that weight, that kilo of agony, around with her. It may be underneath the pop facade, the iconic image she showed the world, but it was there, and it wasn’t too deep. Scratch at the surface and you could touch the insecurity.
“I get ‘Autumn Raine, looking stylish, Autumn Raine, glamour personified, Autumn Raine, resplendent in green’ or pink or whatever color I happen to be wearing. But never beautiful.”
The tears rolled from her eyes now, and she had to cough to remove the boulder in her throat.
“I love what I do,” she continued, frustrated, “but no one actually cares who I am. They only care about what I can give them. And when I look into the mirror, well... I’m turning into my mother.”
“No, I don’t know anyone who can raise their eyebrows that high,” Nathan said.
“I knew Juan didn’t love me, I knew that from the beginning, so why did I let it go on? Because that’s all there was for me, him and a virtual pet. What was I thinking?” she asked herself as much as him.
“I don’t know. I can hardly wait to meet the prick in person.”
Autumn stifled a laugh and wiped her eyes.
“I mean, isn’t that High School Musical guy single? Wouldn’t he be more your type?” Nathan suggested.
Autumn laughed aloud at the suggestion and hit him on the forearm.
“Do you have his number? He might be able to help you whip up a non-organic song in twenty-four hours,” Nathan suggested.
“Hey! I can whip up a song. I was just letting you know that these things aren’t easy. I didn’t say I couldn’t do it.”
“Piano in the basement,” Nathan stated.
“Have we got anymore chocolate?”