Second Chances (29 page)

For the rest of the day, she tried to focus on anything but the upcoming wedding
season. Now that the Mussers would host not one but two weddings, Anna knew that
the upcoming weeks would be chaotic and busy. For that, she would be thankful. After
seeing Hannah's joy, Anna knew that she dreaded seeing Leah's reaction. To watch
Leah laugh and blush over Freman was more than Anna could bear.

Instead of thinking about it, she catered to the boys' every whim, making them cookies
and coloring pictures with them. In the afternoon, she kept herself busy by cleaning
the house. There was something satisfying about scrubbing the kitchen floor and
washing the woodwork. It kept her mind from wandering and her heart from breaking.

With Cris and Mary scheduled to return by noon the next day, Anna knew that, undoubtedly,
Mary would be exhausted from the journey and want to rest with her feet raised. And
then, of course, she'd want to share every minute detail of what had transpired since
Anna had returned to Ohio. Mary would have an opinion about the upcoming wedding
announcements, the rash decision of Leah's choice of a husband garnering more attention
than Hannah's since Freman was in a better situation than Caleb. Anna could only
imagine her sister's reaction to that realization; it was one thing for her sisters-in-law
to marry, but to marry into a situation that afforded them
a more comfortable lifestyle
was something that would cause Mary a great deal of distress.

Invited to Salome's for supper, Anna listened patiently to Hannah talk about her
upcoming wedding. Caleb had already gone to the bishop, she informed everyone, her
eyes sparkling and her smile bright. “We're to be one of the first announced!” The
delight in Hannah's expression helped Anna realize that, even if she personally was
never to marry, she could share the joy of others.

With a deep breath and stronger commitment to overcome her feelings of guilt and
regret, she vowed to not let her past cast any shadows on either Hannah or Leah's
future. She leaned forward, forcing herself to eagerly listen to and participate
in the discussions regarding the required preparations for the two weddings.

By the time she returned to Mary's house, the boys were tired, Walter especially,
since he had played outside for the majority of the afternoon with his brother in
the hayloft. Unlike most nights, both boys were fast asleep before she extinguished
the lantern and, with the upmost of care to not make any noise, shut their bedroom
door behind her.

In the darkness of the evening light she made her way back downstairs. To her surprise,
she heard a soft knock at the door. As she was tucking the boys into their beds,
she had heard a buggy drive down the driveway, but assuming it was Caleb for Hannah,
she hadn't paid much attention to it. The knock at the door, however, startled her.
She looked out the window and saw that there was a buggy parked behind the house.
When she recognized the horse, a pretty black mare with one white sock on her hind
leg, she didn't need to guess who stood at the door.

“Good evening, Anna,” Willis said, just as pleasant and formal as he had been Wednesday
evening. “Just wanted to check on you.”

She gave a soft laugh, uncertain how to respond to such attention from a man. If
she had wondered about his intentions the other evening, she was fairly certain now
that his visits were not just a distant relation rekindling a long-lost family tie.
“That's kind of you, Willis. I can assure you that I'm fine. Tired, but fine.”

He leaned against the doorframe and smiled. In the glow from the lantern, she noticed
that he never once took his eyes from her face. “You have undertaken quite a bit
and succeeded quite well.” Another compliment. This time, she knew that he saw her
blush.

The sound of an approaching buggy caused them both to look toward the entrance of
the driveway. When the horse turned, Anna knew that it was Caleb. His visits were
regular and prompt; she could almost set the clock to them. He would make a fine
husband for Hannah, she thought. And, with his farm located nearby, Salome would
not lose both of her daughters.

“I had forgotten how nice this area is,” Willis said after Caleb passed, pausing
just momentarily to wave.

“Oh,
ja
?”

“I'm staying at my
aendi
's, you know.”

She had heard that and she said as much.

“Still contemplating whether I should go back to Florida or not.” He crossed his
arms over his chest and glanced upward, as if searching his memory. “The community
is small and caters more to the elderly, I reckon.”

Anna wanted to point out that Elizabeth was there. She didn't.

“And the summers are rather hot.” He returned his gaze to hers. “
Nee
, I suspect I
shall stay here, instead.”

“Oh?” It was all that she could think to say when she realized that he waited for
a response.

“I suspect that you will be busy tomorrow, what with your sister and her husband
returning. I did, however, want to inquire whether or not you might be attending
the singing after worship service on Sunday.”

“Oh.” It came out like a little gasp. While it wasn't unusual for people of all ages
to attend singings, she hadn't gone in quite a while. With all of her girlfriends
married, she had started to feel out of place, more a chaperone than a participant.
“I had not planned on it,” she admitted.

He nodded his head just once, his tone suddenly
somber. “
Ja vell
,
mayhaps
you might consider it? I understand that another group of youth
will be visiting from Bishop Kauffman's
g
'
may
.” She remembered Bishop Kauffman from
the van ride both to and from Lancaster.

“I . . . I reckon I could go.” She didn't want to go, didn't want to feel like an
old, unmarried woman. But she also knew that it would keep her mind occupied.

He grinned. “
Wunderbarr
! I shall look for you, then!”

That night, as she lay in bed, she tried to imagine herself married to someone like
Willis. What little she knew of him conflicted tremendously with what she had heard
about him from her father and Lydia. Elizabeth, being far too proud, was never one
to discuss what had transpired. He seemed pleasant enough, Anna thought, full of
energy and good humor. Still, she did not hold him in the same regard as she held
Freman.

While she knew that it was not fair to compare the two men, the unfairness leaning
more toward Willis than
Freman, she couldn't help but do so. It wasn't the difference
in their appearances, Freman having a more striking presence than her cousin. No.
The truth was that Anna much preferred Freman's thoughtful conversations that often
touched on God and faith to Willis's more pointed and trivial dialogue. And, of course,
that eight-year-old emotional tie still bound her heart to Freman. That was something
Willis would never have.

While Anna was aware that autumn courtships often happened quickly, Leah's wedding
to Freman being a perfect example, she had no desire for such a speedy courtship
for herself, no matter her age. However, Willis's interest seemed genuine and she
needed the diversion.
Mayhaps
attending a singing wouldn't be such a bad idea after
all, she thought. She rolled over and shut her eyes, hoping for sleep to take her
quickly so that she could forget the dull sense of loss that still lingered in her
heart.

Chapter Seventeen

M
Y WORD!
” M
ARY
laughed as she exited the van, clutching her oversized purse in her
hands in front of her as if creating a barrier between herself and her two excited
children. Anna immediately noticed that her sister did not greet the boys with anything
more than a smile. While Anna suspected that they were both disappointed, as was
she, for both boys would have benefited from some affection, perhaps even a hug,
from their mother, she knew that such affection was not typical for Mary. Or many
other Amish mothers, she thought. Her mother, however, had always spared the three
girls a kind word or gentle touch, something that had clearly not rubbed off onto
Mary.

Making her way toward the porch, Mary glanced toward the garden and inspected her
flower bed. “I see that someone must have been busy working!” There was an edge to
her voice as she looked at Anna. “Such productivity! Why, I'd barely recognize the
place, we've been gone so long.”

“It's been only two weeks,” Cris said, a weariness to his voice that Anna had never
before heard. She could only
imagine that, while living in close quarters in someone
else's home, his wife's fussiness had taxed his nerves.

While Mary's observation was clearly exaggerated, Anna's examination of her sister
was not. In just two weeks Mary's stomach had bulged. And so had the rest of her
extremities. Anna immediately knew what she suspected would never be said: Mary's
weight gain was not just from a pregnancy but from not helping as she had promised
while staying at the Eshes' house. Her sister relished being pampered and waited
on. In the past, during her last pregnancy in particular, Mary often remained in
bed, forcing others to bring her meals and claiming illness when it was time for
chores.

While Anna looked forward to another baby to love, she knew that Mary would be even
more impossible to deal with over the next few months. And, because she was the one
living at Mary's house, the weight of her care would fall upon her shoulders and
no one else's. It wasn't a particularly encouraging thought to make her rejoice in
Mary's return.

The driver pulled two suitcases from the trunk and set them on the driveway. After
Cris paid the man for his services, he turned his attention to his sons. To Anna's
satisfaction, he spent a few moments asking them how they were and commenting about
how much they had grown. Walter beamed at the comment, which caused little Cris Junior
to nudge him with his elbow.

“Now, now,” Anna said softly.

Cris forced a tired smile and turned his attention to her. “We would have returned
earlier but . . . ” He didn't finish the sentence, leaving it dangling for Anna to
figure out on her own. “Things have been well here, then?”

She nodded her head. “Oh,
ja
, just fine.” She smiled at the boys. “Right as rain,
wouldn't you say?” Both boys nodded eagerly.

Mary huffed under her breath.

“And the boys have been remarkable,” Anna added with a glance toward her sister.
“Quite helpful and very mindful during your absence.”

At this compliment, both boys glowed and their father leaned over to tousle little
Cris's mop of curls.

“I'm surprised you haven't asked after Leah,” Mary said sharply, deliberately changing
the subject so the attention fell back to her and not her two children.

“There have been several letters,” Anna responded, trying to keep her tone even and
kind. “From Rebecca Esh, anyway. She was quite consistent with her writing. Why,
I do believe Salome received at least three letters from her.”

“She doesn't have much to do, I reckon.”

Mary's sharp remark did not go unnoticed by both Anna and Cris. Both looked at Mary,
but only Anna managed to reply. “I suppose a farmer's wife always has something to
do,” she said. “Even more impressive that she thought to use her spare time to write
to Salome.”

Ignoring her sister's comment, or perhaps not even hearing it, Mary headed toward
the house, leaving Cris to deal with the luggage and his sons. “
Ja vell
, in case
you are curious about Leah,” she said over her shoulder before climbing the steps
to the porch, “she's recovered quite nicely, if I do say so myself.”