Sea Daze 4: Luff and Touch Her (Lesbian Erotic Romance Series) (2 page)

“This seat taken?”

Every
muscle in my body froze up so tightly that I was sure I’d never be able to
unclench them again. I had heard that voice before on embarkation day…a deep,
low male voice that had been so casual, so light-hearted. The voice beside me
now was tentative…cautious, even. I felt my fingernails scrape against the
wooden bar until they were in my palm, balled up into a fist. My hands began to
shake involuntarily.

“I…um,
is this…a bad time?” Robert asked, his voice sounding even more timid than it’d
been a few seconds earlier.

“No.
Not at all.
Seat’s not taken,” I said through gritted
teeth. Every word was a forcible effort. “In fact, I was just leaving.”

I
awkwardly stumbled to my feet and walked away, being careful not to make eye
contact with Robert. Before I’d made it to the door, though, I heard his voice
again.

“Amanda…Amanda,
please wait. Please.”

I
stopped, but didn’t turn. “I don’t have anything to say to you. Go back to your
wife – I’m sure she’ll be able to answer any questions you have.”

“Amanda,
please. I need to talk to you about Eve.”

The
sound of her name out of his mouth brought back the terrible lump in my throat.
I could feel the tears welling up, and I
didn’t
want to shed them. Not there, not in front of him.

“I
have nothing to say,” I repeated, and took another step towards the door.

“I’ll
give you anything – anything. Please, just five minutes. This is important for
you both. It’s the only thing I care about right now…just five minutes. After
that, I’ll be out of your life forever.”

It
wasn’t his words that made me turn…I couldn’t care less about what Eve’s
husband
had to say to me. It was his
tone of voice that got to me – he was
begging
me to come back. Right there in public, he was pleading with me to listen
to him. That was something I hadn’t seen a man do in a long time...and despite
my feelings towards him, I wasn’t a rude person. The least I could do was hear
him out.

I
turned and looked at him for the first time since embarkation day. The man
before me was a different person entirely; over the last few days, he’d been
through one hell of a transformation. He was professional and confident back
then…his face had said ‘I can do things, I’m important.’

Right
now, though, he wasn’t looking very important at all – unshaven and wide-eyed,
begging his wife’s lover for a few words. I almost pitied him.

“Five
minutes,” I replied as I walked back to the bar. “And get yourself a drink, you
look like shit.”

Robert
laughed at that before asking Keith for a Rum and Coke. “I haven’t really been
sleeping well. Been a lot on my mind, you know.”

“You’re
wasting time.”

“Right,”
he said, taking a sip of the drink Keith had hastily delivered. “Well, it’s
like this. You remember how I said that Eve and I were married?”

My
heart fluttered a little bit with swelling hope. “I do.”

“It’s
true.”

I
bit my lip as my heart sank back to its usual low.

“Well,
good talk,” I murmured as I stood up. “Bye, Robert.”

I
was halfway to the door before I heard his voice again. “It’s
technically
true. Let me finish,
alright? You said that I had five minutes!”

Reluctantly,
my feet shuffled their way back to the stool I’d be occupying. I fixed Robert
with a glare that hopefully would be interpreted as ‘get the fuck on with it.’
I didn’t really want to talk to him in the first place, and these little
misunderstandings were rubbing me the wrong way.

“Look,
Amanda…it’s like this. As far as Eve’s concerned, we’re divorced. I signed the
papers, she signed the papers. Once she sent the documents back to me, she
figured that the strings were cut…she was free.”

Robert
stopped to look at me, as if he were expecting a question. When I didn’t
provide one, he went on. “It’s like I said the last time we talked – we haven’t
talked to each other in four months. The last phone call we had
was
when she’d asked if I’d sent the papers to the lawyer
yet…and I’d said yes.

“She
hasn’t said a word to me since. Well, I take that back; before this cruise she
hadn’t talked to me…she’s certainly told me a thing or two since Sunday.”

“If
you sent the papers…” I began, but stopped when I noticed him wince. It
suddenly became quite clear. “…you never did, did you?”

“She
never asked about them. I assume it’s because she’s been so busy with her job,
or maybe she figured that it just took this long for the paperwork to go
through. As far as the courts are concerned, though, we’re still quite happily
betrothed.”

“If
you weren’t looking so absolutely miserable right now,” I said through clenched
teeth, “I’d smack you.”

“I
think I deserve to be smacked,” Robert replied without a trace of a smile. “I
had no idea that you and Eve were a thing, Amanda. In all the time we were
together, I never thought for a minute that she was attracted to women.”

“I
wasn’t attracted to women either before I met her. Eve’s the same way.”

“Right,
whatever – look, that doesn’t matter to me.
 
This is what matters – I love Eve…that’s why I couldn’t send in those
papers. I figured that after we’d spent a few months apart, I would surprise
her by showing up on her cruise line and we’d have a wonderful reunion
and…well, things obviously didn’t work out that way. Eve moved on…and I hadn’t.
I figured that out
real
quick.

“What
I’m trying to say is that Eve didn’t lie to you, Amanda. She didn’t know I’d
stalled the divorce – she had no way of knowing. Please don’t be angry with
her…be angry with me all you want, I deserve it.
She’s
innocent.”

“Why
are you trying to help us get back together? I’m the
other woman.
”

Robert
winced again. “She loves you, Amanda. She really, really loves you. I was told
as much two nights ago while she threatened to have me thrown off the ship.
Even if it’s not with me, I want Eve to be happy. I still love her, and I
probably always will…but I lost my chance with her. If she can be happy with
you, then I want to help you in any way I can.

“I
faxed the papers from Guest Services this morning. My attorney emailed me and
said he’d get the ball rolling ASAP. I don’t know how it all works, but I’m
pretty sure our union will be completely severed pretty soon. She’s…she’s all
yours.”

I
glared at him, waiting for more – but he offered nothing. I could see the
sadness radiating over him like a dark cloud, but I wasn’t particularly
interested in making him feel better. “She never told me about you, Robert. Why
did she lie about it?”

“Maybe
she didn’t want to scare you away? I don’t know. That’s not any of my business.
I just wanted to let you know the truth; I don’t want to be the cause of you
two breaking up. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Eve so intense about something in
all the time I’ve known her. You obviously mean a lot to her.”

My
head was spinning with Robert’s words, and I didn’t like it. Every fiber of my
being was suddenly intent on confirming what he’d said, and there was only one
person who could do that. I needed, more than anything, to see her.

“Thank
you for coming clean,” I said, forcing a half-hearted smile.

“I
know you hate me, Amanda….you don’t have to pretend otherwise. Just promise me
you’ll give Eve a chance – she really, really cares about you. Don’t forget
that.”

I
didn’t bother answering. Without another word to Robert, I slid off of my stool
and marched out of the piano bar without a glance back. For the first time that
week, I felt like there was a slight glimmer of hope at the end of the tunnel –
and there was no way I was going to let it out of my sight.

***

There
was no reply at her suite, though I didn’t really expect to find her there.
Taking the stairs two at a time, I found myself in front of the Toucan Isles
restaurant. Swarms of children and sunburnt parents were lined up the buffet
with filled plates, and the room with buzzing with the excitement the day’s
activities had brought them.

Ignoring
them, I pushed open the crew door next to the stairwell and wound my way around
the catacombs of the ship’s interior. It wasn’t as easy as I’d hoped; I’d only
been that one once, and Eve had been my guide. The white metal walls formed a
maze that I got myself lost in several times. The
Excelsius
really
was
a
big ship.

After
about ten minutes, I stumbled into the oddly carpeted hallway with the three
doors. One for the CEO, one for the Captain, and one…

“Eve?”
I called out, knocking on the door as I did so. I was hoping she was hiding in
the office, because I really didn’t want to go combing through the ship looking
for her – I needed to talk to her, to see her, to look at her…

The
door creaked open, and I saw the bloodshot green eyes that belonged to the
woman I still loved with the bottom of my heart. The mascara she’d applied was
a black smear down her cheeks, and there was little left of the cherry lipstick
– it looked like she’d been chewing her lips.

Her
brown hair, which usually hung in beautiful curls, was a frazzled mess. Her
normally-crisp white blouse was wrinkled and
untucked
,
and her skirt was similarly unkempt.

She
was the most beautiful sight I’d seen in days.

No
words were exchanged between us. After a few seconds of awkward silence, she
slowly pulled the door open. I wordlessly entered and heard it close behind me.
The smell of rum hit my nostrils, and I knew at once she’d knocked back a
couple. The open, half-empty bottle on her otherwise spotless desk was proof
enough of that.

As
if by unspoken agreement, we took seats beside each other before her desk.
Since I’d sought
her
out, I figured
it was my job to break the ice. Just as I was about to begin, though, the words
spilled out of her mouth like a turned faucet.

“I’m
so sorry, Amanda. I wanted to tell you about Robert, I really did…I just…this
relationship was so new for both of us. I didn’t want to bring in the fact that
I was married a few months ago…hell, that I’m married
now
…ugh. I wasn’t trying to hide it from you, I swear…I just didn’t
want to scare you off, you know?”

I
didn’t answer right away. In the silence that followed Eve’s frantic
explanation, the only noise was the constant hum of the engines on a deck
somewhere below our feet. Eve’s flushed face stared at me desperately, and I
could tell that she was anxious to hear my answer. I still wasn’t completely
sure that I trusted Eve, but I knew that I was ready for the silence between us
to be over.

“You
won’t be married for long – I talked to Robert. Apparently, he faxed the
divorce papers from Guest Services this morning.”

Tears
began to stream down Eve’s cheeks. She looked torn between relief and
depression. “I had thought that it was all taken care of months ago – I thought
I’d cried all the emotions out back then. I was ready to move on with my life.
Seeing him again, though…”

“Do
you still love him?”

Eve
barked a humorless laugh.
“Hardly.
No, I fell out of
love with him a long time ago…we just didn’t fit, you know? Nothing really
wrong
with him, I guess, just…he wasn’t
for me.”

“He
said something the first time I talked to him…he said that you were really
upset with the fact that he didn’t want kids.”

Eve
was silent for a long time after that, and her attention was suddenly drawn to
the porthole and the rolling waves outside. I patiently waited for her to
process what I’d said, though internally I was terrified. If she had dumped
Robert because he didn’t want kids, what chance did I have? I
couldn’t
give her children, even if she
wanted them.

“I
won’t lie about it,” Eve whispered. “I
do
want a family. Obviously, though, things are different now. I would rather have
you, even if Robert
did
want kids. I
don’t know what’s in the future, but
you
are
what’s
important to me, Amanda. I love you…I don’t
want you to ever feel like you’re not enough for me – you’re all that I want.”

I
could feel the tears starting to slide down my own cheeks as well, and I
angrily dabbed at them. “No more secrets, Eve. It was hard enough to know you
were keeping your job a secret from me…this thing with Robert was unbearable.”

“I know, I’m sorry.
I really am – there’s no more to
tell. My life is an open book to you, Amanda.”

My
mind was still in a jumble, and I didn’t know if I could trust her like I did
only a few days before. The only thing I knew was that I missed her terribly
and wanted –
needed
– her with me.
Eve made me happier than anyone I’d ever known, and I didn’t want to let her
go. Hell, I didn’t want to let her out of my sight.