Salene's Secrets (2 page)

A fist seemed to be squeezing her heart as she turned her back on the men she’d been destined to link her soul to, and spend her life with.  The journey back to her room seemed to take forever.  The darkness that had started pressing at the edges of her vision since she’d begun to understand what Talus was telling her, now grew with each step she took.  She didn’t try to hold it back this time, welcoming the deep, dark coldness that numbed the firestorm of pain that had already reached nearly unbearable proportions.  She fumbled with the door latch to her room, got it open, stepped inside, and closed it behind her.  Safely alone with the lights off and the door locked, she leaned against the wall, slid to the floor, and embraced the darkness. 

***

The Gryphons watched dispassionately as Salene left, closing the door behind herself.  As soon as they were alone, the fixed expressions of regret they all wore vanished, leaving them staring impassively at the empty space before them.  When it was clear Salene would not return, Kar walked over and locked the door, then all three of them went back to where they’d been sitting before they were interrupted.  They sat straight without touching the backs of their chairs, heads up, shoulders square, palms resting flat on the tops of their thighs, faces devoid of expression, eyes blank.  For a few moments they just sat there, staring.  Then, all at the same time, their eyes closed. 

Kar’s mental scream of horror and despair would have brought tears to Talus’s eyes if he hadn’t been completely cut off from his body. 
“It’ll be all right, Kar,”
he said, grateful that he was able to communicate with his brothers the way they did when they shifted. 

“How can this ever be all right?”
Jon gasped. 
“She severed our bond!  Can’t you feel it?”

“Of course I feel it,”
Talus replied.  Though they had no control over their bodies whatsoever, they’d quickly discovered that they still
felt
everything.  Including the wrenching pain that had flooded him at the moment of severing.

“Did you see the pain in her eyes?”
Kar asked, his mental voice devoid of all hope.
“Did you see her face?  We just destroyed her.”

“I know,”
Talus said, his own pain no less than his brothers’. 
“But it wasn’t us.  You need to remember that.”

“What difference does that make to Salene?”
Jon asked
. 

“It’ll make a lot of difference once she knows the truth.  She could have denounced us, which is irrevocable.  But she didn’t.  Severing our bond is bad enough, I know, but it’s private, and can be revoked.  We still have reason to hope, and I think that somewhere inside of Salene, she still has hope, too.”

“The expression on her face will haunt me for the remainder of my life,”
Kar said.

“I know, it will haunt me as well,”
Talus agreed.
  “But I think that, for Salene’s sake, what just happened is for the best.”

“How can this be for the best?”
Jon demanded, shocked. 

“Because, as we’ve proven to ourselves over the past several hours, we have no control over what we say or what we do.  What if these things inside of us…whatever they are…decide to physically attack Salene?  Or kill her?  We wouldn’t be able to do a damn thing to stop it.  I hate that she’s hurt right now, but I’m relieved to know that she’ll be safely away from us until we determine what’s happening and find a way to beat it.”

“We have Controllers, Talus,”
Jon flatly. 
“It can’t be anything else.”

“I agree, but why can’t we shift?”

“I don’t know,”
Jon replied. 
“They must be new versions.”

“We have to find a way to get some control.”

“I don’t think that’s possible,”
Jon said.
  “These things control what we do, how we act, and what we say.  From everything I’ve read about Controllers, the victim has no chance of beating it.  The new ones are so damn good at mimicking the victim’s behavior that there’s little chance anyone will even notice.”

“I don’t care,”
Talus said.
“For Salene’s sake we have to find a way.  Or do you want the pain we saw on her face and in her eyes to be the last memory we have of her?”

“Of course not
,” Jon replied
. “I just don’t think we’re going to have any choice in the matter.”

Talus searched his mind frantically for some way to give himself and his brothers hope.
  “We can communicate with one another,”
he said.
  “That’s something.  At least we can work together to find a way through this.”

“Where do we start?”
Kar asked.

“I think the first thing we need to do is try to remember what in the seven hells happened to us,”
Talus said.
  “I have vague memories of being in an infirmary, and of pain.  Do either of you know where we are right now?”

“We’re on a ship, that much is clear from our surroundings,”
Kar said.
  “I don’t know which one though, or why we’re here, or where we’re going.”

“I don’t remember that scar on Salene’s cheek,”
Jon said.
  “Do either of you?”

“No, I don’t,”
Talus said.
  “It didn’t look very old, though.  It didn’t even look fully healed.”

“I don’t remember it either,”
Kar said
.  “Like you, Talus, I remember pain, and an infirmary.  I have dim memories of people talking to us, but I can’t remember what they said, or even who they were.”

“There was an argument earlier, wasn’t there?”
Jon asked
.  “Between us and some other people.  We got angry, I think.”

“Yes, I remember that now that you’ve mentioned it,”
Talus said. 
“I said things that I didn’t want to say, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself.  This is encouraging.  Just from talking to each other we’ve been able to remember a few things that we didn’t before.  We need to keep doing this because until we figure out what happened to us, I don’t think we’ll have much chance of finding a way out of this.”

“I don’t think we’ll find a way out regardless of what we do or don’t remember,”
Jon said.

“Have you decided to give up, Brother?”
Talus asked sharply
.

“No,”
Jon said after a long and heavy silence.
  “I will not give up.”

“What about you, Kar?”

“My greatest wish at the moment is to have the chance to apologize to Salene, and to tell her it was not us who broke faith with her, that we love her now and always.  I will never give up trying to find a way to make that happen.”

“Agreed,”
Jon and Talus said at the same time.
 

“I’ve no intention of giving up, but do you really think this will work, Talus?”
Kar asked
. 

“Yes,”
Talus said with more confidence than he felt.
  “To my knowledge Controllers have never worked on Clan Jasani.  These must be new versions, as you said, Jon, and I think that might give us an advantage.  These are
our
brains,
our
memories,
our
lives, and
our
bodies.  We just have to find a way to regain control of them.”

Chapter
2

Other than one polite request that she be left alone to her thoughts, Salene did not respond to Rayne’s attempts to get her to answer her door.  She wasn’t sure how much time passed while she sat on the floor of her stateroom in the dark, but she was almost certain it had been more than one day, and probably two.  Her stomach was grumbling weakly, and she became aware that she was stiff and sore from staying in one position for so long.

Once the initial shock had worn off, she’d struggled to accept that the deep, soul searing pain that now filled her heart would probably never go away.  Her immediate goal after that was simply to find a way to function with it, and she thought she was having some success with that.  She could take a deep breath now without gasping aloud at the sensation of her chest ripping open and her heart spilling out onto the floor.  It was a start.

She was trying to decide whether or not she was ready to get up and do something normal like take a shower, or get into bed, when she realized that the darkness around her was growing lighter.  She blinked a couple of times, but the light continued to grow until, after another few moments, a golden form that she’d seen only once before began to take shape just a few feet in front of her. 

“You’re Wolef, is that right?” she asked, surprised by how hoarse her voice was.  

“Indeed I am, Highness,”
the dragon replied. 

“You seem a little bigger than when I saw you before.”

“My true form would have been much too large to fit in this small space, but as I no longer have a physical body, I am free to present myself in any size I like.”

“Is there something I can help you with?” she asked bluntly, as was her way.  She had no patience for prevarication and never had. 

“
Perhaps
.”  Wolef studied her for a long moment with golden eyes a few shades lighter than her own. 
“Have you given up on life, Highness?”

Salene leaned her head back against the wall.  “No,” she replied after a moment’s thought.  “Life is precious, and I’m not a quitter.  Or, if I am, I’m too damn stubborn to admit it.”

Wolef laugh softly. 
“You Dracon Princesses amaze and amuse me in equal measure
.”  Salene had no response to that so she remained silent. 
“What will you do now?”

Salene shrugged after trying, and failing, to come up with an answer.  “Not a clue in the cosmos,” she said finally.  “You’re not floating here in my stateroom because you’re worried about me sitting in the dark, are you?”

“No, I confess that I am not,”
Wolef replied. 
“I’m here for a completely different reason.  However, finding you in this state gives me pause.  Perhaps another time would be better.”

“No, now is good,” Salene said.  “I could use something new to think about.”

“Very well,”
Wolef said. 
“I come to you, Princess Salene, because I have a problem that concerns your sister, Rayne.”

“What’s the problem?” Salene asked, instantly alert.

“My answer requires a brief explanation.”

“Brief is good,” she said pointedly.  “We can go long later, if necessary.”

“Of course,”
Wolef replied
.  “As you are likely aware, your sister released me from the prison of my useless body, after which I should have moved on to the next phase of my existence as all living creatures are urged to do when they leave the plane of the living.  And yet, I cannot.  The Doftles stole my life in service to the Xanti, which was not meant to happen.  Because of that, my spirit will not allow me to leave this plane while they continue unchecked.”

As impatient as Salene was to hear the part that concerned her sister, she could not disregard Wolef’s feelings, or the tragedy of his life.  “I’m sorry that your spirit is being held back, Wolef.  From all that Rayne has told me, you’ve earned the right to leave your mortal concerns behind.”

“I thank you, Highness,”
Wolef said, dipping his head in a slight nod. 
“Like your sister, you are generous with your feelings for others.”

“It’s how we were raised,” she said with a little shrug, fighting the threat of tears brought on by the sudden thought of her mother, and how much she wished she could speak with her. 

“In part because of my friendship with your sister, and in part because I cannot move on anyway, I’ve been invited to become Spirit Guide to Rayne.  My task would be to aid her, and through her the peoples of the Thousand Worlds, in the conflict against the Doftles.”

Salene’s protective nature rose up sharp and fast.  “Rayne is not a warrior, Wolef.  She has given enough of herself against the Doftles, and deserves to live her life in peace.  Besides, she’s pregnant now.  After all she’s been through, they have no right to ask her to risk her life, or the lives of her children.”

“
I am in full accord with you
,” Wolef said. 
“However, when I said that I’ve been
invited
, I was putting a polite light on the matter.  I requested time to consider my answer, and for Rayne to have a chance to get home, rest, and settle into her new life.  They declined my request to consider my answer, but granted a month for Rayne to rest.  Make no mistake, Highness, at month’s end I
will
become her Spirit Guide unless I take some action that prevents it.”

“What sort of action can you possibly take that will divert the will of the Creators?” she asked despairingly.

“As a golden dragon I possess the ability to form a power bond with a person of my choosing, thereby granting them the ability to use my dragon power as his, or her, own.  That is what I’ve decided to do.  It will satisfy my wish to take a more direct role against the Doftles, and it will also render me unsuitable for the post of Spirit Guide since I’d have an existing bond with someone else.  However, I cannot grant my powers to just anyone.  I require the person I choose to be of the highest moral caliber.  One who would never abuse the power.  One who would set her feet upon a freely chosen path and never stray from it until our mutual goal is reached, just as Rayne did.”

“These are your only choices?  To become Rayne’s Spirit Guide whether either of you like it or not, or to loan your power to someone else?  Is that it?”

“Yes, that is exactly it,”
Wolef replied
.  “But as I said, it cannot be just anyone.  Unfortunately, I have been unable to find a person who fulfills my requirements.  Until now.”

“You think I’m the right person?” Salene asked in surprise.

“I think you could be.  What do you think?”

“You don’t know me, Wolef.  How can you be so sure I’m the person you’re looking for?”

“Both of your sisters have proven themselves to be brave and honorable beyond any and all expectations.  I believe that you, as the eldest of the Dracon Princesses, possess those traits in even greater abundance than your sisters, which makes you a very rare soul indeed.  If that were not enough, and it would be, you have a particularly strong protective streak which I admire.”

Salene did not contradict Wolef, but she didn’t agree with him, either.  She knew how special her sisters were and she was enormously proud of them both.  She also knew that her only talent was her ability to watch over and protect her siblings and anyone else that she deemed needed it.  Now that her brothers and sisters were grown, and the three men meant to be her lifelong companions had rejected her, she couldn’t even do that much.  Or could she?

“Rayne has her dream life laid out before her, and she has more than earned the right to live it, whereas my future has just been swept away.”  She paused, her eyes narrowing in sudden suspicion.  “Are you here because you know that I’ve severed my bond with the Gryphons?”

“That is not why I came here, no,”
Wolef said. 
“I came because I hoped that you’d be able to help me identify someone that I could forge a power bond with.  I was surprised upon my arrival to sense that you are no longer bonded, and I confess that my initial reaction to that was a selfish one.”

“Selfish?”

“Yes, I’m afraid so.  I immediately began to hope that you would agree to be the one to power bond with me.  Rayne would not be pleased with me, I’m sure.” 

“Don’t worry, I won’t be sharing this with her,” Salene said.  “I’d like to know what this would cost me.”

“Cost you?”
Wolef asked in surprise.
  “I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

“Nothing’s ever free Wolef.  I need to know what I’d have to give up for this power.  I warn you, I have little to offer.”

“If there is a price, I suppose it would be focusing your life on stopping the Doftle rather than having a home and children of your own, as Rayne is now doing.  You would also lose your psychic ability to feel those you care about over great distances, but only for the duration of our bond.”

“The first is a price already paid, though not by my choice.” 

“I know,”
Wolef said with a soft sigh. 
“I sense your pain, Highness, and would ease it if I had the means to do so.”

“Thank you, Wolef, I appreciate that,” Salene said, speaking past the lump in her throat.  “Why would I lose my psychic ability?”

“Dragon magic is very powerful, particularly that of golden dragons.  It will overwhelm your psychic ability, though you may retain some small echo of it.”

Salene thought about that for a few moments.  She’d miss being able to sense her loved ones from a distance, but she’d already caught herself reaching for the Gryphons several times while she sat in the dark of her room.  Since she couldn’t seem to stop herself from reaching for them automatically, it might be a relief to have the ability neutralized.  But what would she gain in exchange?

“What will your power do to me?  Will it make me stronger?  Faster?  Smarter?”

“I can share my powers with you, but I cannot foresee how those powers will manifest themselves within you.”

“Can’t you go forward in time and see?”

“I no longer possess the ability to fold time, Highness, but even when I was alive I could not have done such a thing.  I now exist in the same time line in which I died, and know no more of the future than you.”

“Is this something you want to do right now?”

“No,”
Wolef replied forcefully, startling her.  “
I apologize.  It’s just that you are not…ready at this time.”

Salene’s eyes narrowed.  Wolef sighed. 
“I’ve seen that expression on Rayne enough to know what it means.  If you must know the truth, I will tell you.  I warn you, however, that you may not like it.”

“Whether or not I
like
the truth is irrelevant.  If it’s truth, then it must be faced.”

“Well said,”
Wolef said with a slight nod. 
“The truth, Princess Salene, is that you are currently too weak for what I offer.  Your mostly human form requires a buffer for the power, which I do not yet have.  But even if I had one, you’re still too weak in mind and spirit.” 

Salene did not react outwardly to Wolef’s words, but inwardly she quailed.  He was right, and she couldn’t deny it.  She was weak in every way, both inside and out, and it shamed her to admit it, even to herself.  “Why do you offer what I’m too weak to accept?” she asked with just a hint of the irritation she felt.

“Because I know what you’re made of.  You need only choose to set your feet upon a new path and leave your weakness behind to make it so.”

Salene sighed.  Wolef might not have any doubts about her, but she had more than enough for both of them.  “How much time do I have to decide?”

“If it were my choice, I would impose no deadlines upon you,”
Wolef replied. 
“You must make this decision for your own reasons, and you must know in your heart and soul that it is right for you.  It is your life, Highness.  I will not steal it from you the way the Doftles stole mine.  However, I am forced to ask that you make a decision by the time I return to you in fourteen days since that’s all the time I have remaining.  On the fifteenth day from today I will be made Rayne’s Spirit Guide unless I enter a power bond with another.  While I await your decision I will continue my search for an alternate so that you don’t feel you must agree to this solely for Rayne’s sake.  I shall also search for a suitable buffer.” 

“Thank you, Wolef, and don’t worry, I’ll have an answer for you by then,” Salene assured him.  “Please know that I recognize the honor you do me with this offer.”

“As I recognize the honor you do me by considering it,”
Wolef replied. 

“If I decide to accept, what happens next?”

“I would suggest you begin preparing yourself for battle.”

“Battle?”

“You will have power, Highness, but you’ll still need the mind-set of a warrior to go against the Doftle.”

The idea of becoming a warrior scared her, but she brushed the fear aside for the moment.  She was far more concerned about looking, acting, and feeling weak.  That had to stop, and it had to stop now.  She set her jaw determinedly and forced herself to stand up.  After sitting for so long in one position it took an enormous effort, and caused a shocking amount of pain to accomplish, but she kept her expression stoic, determined to at least hide her weakness until she was able to overcome it.  When she was standing on her own two feet she bowed her head politely.  “Until we meet again, Wolef.”