Roman: Book 1 (11 page)

Roman Payne keeps me secluded in my gilded cage refusing my pleas to feel the sun on my face or breathe in fresh air for months.

At least by what I’m able to discern from counting how many times the sun rises and sets.

After he left me alone in the dining hall I remained unable to move. Even my eyes stayed on the doorway Roman walked out of until Dolores came in and helped me from the table to the steaming bath I assume she made before coming to get me. I’m not sure how I’ve remained alive as long as I have given the number of times my smart mouth and attitude has resulted in the punishment Roman promised. I do know the only reason my sanity remains is because of one reason and one reason alone…The twenty minute weekly phone call Roman allows me with my brothers.

The initial phone conversation answered the questions I’d been afraid to ask Roman. They were not frantic at my disappearance, Roman had seen to that and my heart constricts when I hear all three of my brothers voices telling me excitedly how happy they were of me for taking a leave of absence and finally getting away from all the negative that had been eating away at me since our father’s death. It is impossible to hold back the tears as I pretend I’m learning of our uncles disappearance for the first time. The oldest two gave up hope of ever finding him after two weeks, but not Bobby, he remains adamant that Jay is alive and will be found soon. My weekly phone call with them, hearing their voices, becomes like food to a starving man. I listen voraciously as they regale me with the details of their lives. Some weeks the conversations feel like physical blows to my chest when I realize how much of my brothers lives I’m missing out on as they tell me about the lives they continue living outside my prison.  Two of them found love and Cody had finally asked his girlfriend of three years, Jennifer to marry him. It’s bitter sweet when I hear my oldest brother is starting a family of his own. During every conversation I sit under Roman’s glare from his seat on the high winged back chair in front of me where he sits unmoving without speaking a word.

With each call my irritation grows and my usual calmness and obedience dwindles as I begin to become irrationally furious at the circumstances I’ve allowed myself to become accustomed to leading me to become combative.

I know he could end my life at any moment with a snap of his fingers; the problem is I feel myself beginning to no longer care.

Any optimism I may have had prior to falling under Roman’s rule, slipped away like the sands of my time.

Roman, perceptive as always, immediately felt the tension as I hung up the phone after I learned of Cody’s engagement. I was powerless in that moment to smother the fury boiling beneath the surface and when Roman spoke, I snapped, lashing out verbally and physically. There were no thoughts, just actions. Yelling some insane remark before my hand struck his face.

He’s six foot six and outweighs me by a hundred pounds making it very easy to drag me down the stone hallways and up the stairs by my hair to my room. Once he stripped me of my clothing and tethered me tightly to the bed spread eagle he mercilessly rammed his massive cock inside my dry core.

The only problem is, he’s very fucking good at using his hands, mouth and words to manipulate my body and even as pissed as I am struggling against the leather straps he effortlessly turns my body against my mind and I’m soaking wet within seconds, then he turns my crude, rebellious words into moans and pleas as my struggling jerky movements turn into my hips slowly meeting, syncing with his thrust for thrust.

His teeth bite and break the skin on my neck before his sinister chuckle leaves his lips and brush against the mark on my skin as he speaks, “Such a good little slut, look at how responsive your body is to mine. You can’t turn me away, can you, mouse? You couldn’t stop your body’s response if you tried, could you?”

“Fuck. You!
FUCK YOU
!” I scream through gritted teeth.

“You are my love, just like the good little whore I trained you to be.” His finger tips pinch and twist my nipples so hard I cry out in pain. When his hands slide from my breasts to wrap my throat and tightens for the leverage he uses to pound into me so deep each thrust rips a screaming roar from my chest. The faster and harder he slams into me, the more rapidly the orgasm barrels its way towards me. 

When it rips though me at lightening speed I briefly recall convulsing as my cum pours out around his cock and pools underneath me before my unconsciousness bleeds into blackness from the sheer intensity of the orgasm’s impact.

When I come to, I find him dressed in gray flannel pajama bottoms and a black t-shirt showcasing his beautiful intrinsically detailed tattoos. He’s maneuvering my body slipping a light purple silk nightgown over my head, pulling my arms through the armholes, and sliding the material down until it reaches me mid thigh. When he’s finished he pulls the sheet and comforter up and tucks it around me before brushing his lips against my forehead. When he turns to leave I find the courage to whisper my pathetic excuses, “I’m sorry Roman.” Keeping his back to me he stops at the doorway. I take his pause as my queue and rush on, “I miss my brother’s, they were my world, all I had that was good in life, can’t you can understand it kills me to know I’m missing out on their lives. And my uncle—”

Roman tilts his head but does not turn. Softly interrupting my explanation, “They were your world, and they were once all you had in life. Your life now begins and ends with me, little mouse. I am your new world and it’s time you accept that fact I will not tolerate another outburst like the one you displayed today. Think on this the next time you have an urge to show disrespect: I can and will make sure your brothers meet the same demise as your uncle, with the same audience. Their well-being and the well-being of their loved ones is your choice Heather. Understood?”

The strength of his threat alone was enough to ensure my obedience and loyalty. I compartmentalized, putting and locking away the life I once had, then threw away the key while accepting my new life and learning to lie to myself.

I lied to myself so well, I began believing I wasn’t acting a part to ensure my brother’s survival, and I truly believed I was doing it to make Roman happy…to see Roman smile. Most of all, I strived to perfect my obedience in hopes of pleasing Roman.

As the months passed, his raping and ravaging of my body morning, noon and night, day after day lesson in aggressiveness.

Lately it’s almost as if he’s making tender love to me with moments of frenzied need. All while murmuring sweet words and complimenting my flawless skin, my beautiful face, and dark mysterious eyes along with praising whispers, worshiping the tightness of my pussy and perfect tautness of my swollen breasts.

Once in a blue moon the line between my reality and the truth thins and a war wages within me. On one side of the battle ground I revel in his praise. My heart, recognizing how far he has come, swells with pride. These soldiers’ believe I AM the one who right Roman Payne and all his wrongs. The opposing side lurks behind my bliss during the day, preferring to launch their attack at night. I’m left in their wake soaking my pillow with tears as I fall apart against their onslaught of disgust and condemnation at both my traitorous mind and my body. These soldiers torture me with vivid memories of my body’s betrayal in response to his ministrations as image after image of my pussy seizing and convulsing around his cock flash into my thoughts.

Roman is creating a contradiction of me. The moments he’s with me and he’s sweet and charming, allowing me to enjoy his dry, but hilarious humor it causes the euphoria I feel to become unparalleled. I fall in love with him over and over again. And as long as I’m behaving, I’m not on the receiving end of him wrecking his punishing devastation upon my body.

When I am left to my own devices, I wander about the great house and occasionally come across an unlocked window or an unlocked door leading outside. My mind wanders down the dangerous path of escape routes and plans. During these moments I recognize the freedom I have, yet do not pursue and it leads me to question just how lost I really am.

At night I wake murmuring my undying love for a man who cannot love, yet still I remain naïvely hopeful, praying while in this purgatory I’ve adapted and began to learn to survive within.

I think I have convinced myself the only thing I am keeping her alive for is her damn gold lined pussy. Her eagerness to participate in my sadistic avocations surprises me especially, as they never fail to leave her aching and exhausted.  My exoneration of her true motivation and premise for seeking me out are being annihilated.

Do not ask me how or why Heather’s whispered words of understanding or her ambitious need to please make me smile. I may not understand but it has succeeded in keeping her and her three brothers alive.

During her initial welcome into my home I greedily raped her day after day.  As time slipped by I found myself slowing my interactions with her; taking what Heather offered became less about frenzied domination and more about exploration. 

A feeling unknown to me has slowly revealed itself a little more every time I witness Heather cumming on my cock as a chuckle falls from her smirked lips. A feeling of warmth grows for her and I find myself looking forward to her smile, her laughter, and her eyes gazing into mine.  Her happiness has become my new drug.

When I question these new feelings
I wonder if th
e
y have developed
because I was able to purge myself of the evil within by inflicting pain and suffering while allowing my blackened soul to bleed onto and smother the light that once shone through her very pores.

Perhaps.

However, unbeknownst to her, I’m not certain this new drug will be strong enough to keep me addicted and coming back for more. I’m in uncharted territory and although I haven’t acknowledged this fact before, I do know uncharted territory translates to newness. And anything new is always shiny in the beginning, but all things shiny lose their luster over time.

So, until the day comes when I’ve consumed all I wish to consume of her and I no longer am dependent on the drug she feeds me, I will become bored.

And the day I become bored is the last day of Heather’s simple, yet complex life.