Authors: Linda Barrett
Maybe she should have called Roz. She hated being in a weak position. So she squared her shoulders and stood taller.
“Speaking of…” he said. “Where’s the baby?”
“‘The baby’ has a name. Why don’t you try using it?”
He studied her before replying. “And why are you so snippy with me? The Brown part of her name is going to change. That’s for sure.”
Well, that was the easiest thing to accept. Alexis
glanced at the man with the determined expression. Seemed he’d done a lot of thinking in the last few hours, and she tried bracing herself for a slew of other changes that were sure to come. She’d handle them all and make Dan happy, as long as her life with Michelle remained intact.
She led him into her bedroom, where she’d converted one corner into a nursery. Quietly, they approached the crib. Michelle lay on her back, eyes closed, sound asleep. Alexis watched her little chest move up and down and relaxed. Sometimes, at night, she’d put her fingers under the baby’s nose just to make sure she was breathing. She often wondered if every new mother did the same.
She glanced at Dan, but he was simply staring at his daughter. His lids didn’t blink. He stood frozen, not moving a muscle, except a tiny one in his jaw. Shock. Awe. Fear. Lost in his own world and overwhelmed. Joy rose inside her, filling her to the very brim. She stepped away, leaving him alone by the crib.
“Where are you going?” A hoarse whisper—possibly tinged with panic?
“I’m right here,” she affirmed, her heart dancing for the first time since she’d made the decision to contact him. Dan was the father, but he was more frightened by a ten-pound baby than by the gladiators on the gridiron. A perfect situation, as far as Alexis was concerned. She’d provide the home and child care, while he supplied the check.
D
AN STARED AT THE MOST
beautiful baby in the world. His daughter. His child. And wanted to run away. A
million decisions awaited him. A million arrangements…and lots of stuff to buy. He had a game against the Cowboys this weekend. It wasn’t even midseason yet; there was a long way to go, and he couldn’t screw up. Should he hire a baby nurse and take the kid out of town with him? Should he ask his mother? But she and his dad had a business to run. Should he hire a live-in housekeeper? Maybe two of them? Man, a tiny baby needed a lot of care.
He faced Alexis. “She’s so little,” he whispered.
“Absolutely, but time will cure that.” Her eyes gleamed with amusement.
The lawyer actually had a sense of humor. He tilted his head toward the door and started to leave the room. “Let her sleep.”
Alexis nodded her agreement and smiled at him again. Whew. She had a killer smile. A happy smile. Finally, a genuine smile that brightened her face. Okay. He was starting to read her body language, a skill he was…supposedly…good at.
In the kitchen once again, he inhaled the aroma of coffee. “You did make a pot after all.”
“Want some?”
“Sure.” He watched her pour. Confident now. No shaky hands or voice.
When they were both seated, he said, “First things first. I’ve got a game in Dallas this weekend.”
She held up her palm. “No problem, Dan. The baby’s living with me anyway. In fact, to be perfectly honest…”
He hated that phrase. It was usually followed by something that wasn’t honest at all.
“…I don’t quite know what my sister’s intention was when she revealed your name to me at the end. But I don’t imagine it was for you to be involved with Michelle’s day-to-day care.”
The heart of the matter. A setup. She was setting him up for a one-two punch.
“Oh?” He kept his voice neutral. Let her keep talking before he reacted.
“Think about it,” Alexis continued. “She never told you about the baby. She knew what your schedule was like—” she blinked hard and turned away for a moment “—probably better than you did. And—and I know she planned to raise the baby herself…with my help.” She leaned toward him. “I asked, but she never told me your name until the end. Until she probably felt she had no other choice.”
Her eyes were too shiny.
Please don’t cry, lady.
Whenever Alexis brought up her sister, a waterfall threatened. But now she was chatting again.
“So, knowing your hectic lifestyle and her plans, I don’t think she had in mind for you to actually be in charge of Michelle…at least, not now.”
Her last words were rushed, as though she were trying to appease him. Dan thought of his own dad. Of his family. His parents lived and breathed for their kids, for their six grandkids. They’d worked hard building their grocery and deli business so their children could have the advantages they hadn’t. And Alexis Brown was trying to tell the son of Nicky Delito to abandon his daughter?
It wasn’t going to happen. But he wasn’t ready to shut down the conversation.
“Not be in charge of my daughter, Alexis?” he asked quietly. “Then why am I here? Are we back to extortion?”
“Good grief, no! I don’t need
that
kind of money. I’ve known how to stretch a dollar since I was a kid. With careful use of my funds, and a tiny bit of help for day care, I can support my niece just fine.”
She spoke the truth and he relaxed slightly—until another truth popped up, an incredible truth that made his blood pressure rise, that scared the wits out of him. That made him use real effort to keep his voice at a reasonable pitch.
“So, the only reason—the single reason—honorable attorney Alexis Brown contacted me at all was because of a few dollars for child care?”
H
IS ATTACK KNOCKED THE
breath from Alexis’s body. Surely he didn’t want to be deeply involved in Michelle’s care? He didn’t make sense. He was a single man. He traveled constantly. Hell, a couple of weeks ago, he hadn’t even known he
had
a daughter. Was he serious?
She willed herself to inhale again and wrestled control of her mind. If two years in the D.A.’s office had taught her nothing else, they had taught her how to stay focused on a goal in the face of determined opposition. And she had to stay focused. Dan was her last hope. If she alienated him, she would likely have to put Michelle in foster care. And that was no place for the child Sherri had entrusted to Alexis’s care.
Dan was staring at her. She had to respond to his accusation.
The best defense is an offense
, she thought for the second time in a week.
“Michelle is three months old,” she said. “How much quicker would you have acted if your sister had been killed, given birth and left you with a newborn infant, not to mention dealing with cops and social workers? How much faster could you have set up a nursery, gotten a leave from work and learned how to care for a newborn? Did you think it all happened by osmosis?”
So what if he’d guessed the true reason—at least, the immediate reason—for her daddy search? She’d been living one day at a time for awhile and doing the best she could.
He put up his hands. “Whoa. Okay, okay. Points taken,” he said quietly, “but you haven’t answered the question.”
“And I’m not going to.”
Standoff. Hazel eyes challenged brown as they stared at each other in silence. Adrenaline shot through Alexis’s body, raising her awareness of details—the creases in the corners of his eyes, the slight cleft in his chin, the arch in his eyebrow. Like taking a series of snapshots, she memorized the parts of his face. His size didn’t intimidate her, nor did his righteous indignation. In fact, she felt no fear at all.
“Stubborn woman,” he muttered.
“Suspicious man,” she replied.
They both heard Michelle’s cries at the same time and, together, headed toward the bedroom. The baby was kicking and waving at the colorful mobile hanging overhead, but when she saw Alexis, she doubled her speed and cried harder.
“Oh, sweet pea,” Alexis crooned, scooping her up. “You’re all wet and—” she sniffed the diaper “—dirty,
too. Come on, my sweet and stinky petunia. We’ll make you nice and clean.” The baby calmed down to a hiccup or two, as she usually did when Alexis held her.
Alexis stepped in front of the big man and went to the changing table, where all the appropriate equipment and toiletries were within easy reach.
Dan hadn’t moved.
Alexis glanced behind her. “Dirty diapers are part of the deal.”
“Hmm…I—I don’t want to interfere.”
If only.
Michelle turned her head toward his voice. “She’s looking for you,” said Alexis, her gaze darting toward him again. “If you can’t handle this, she’ll wind up with a painful diaper rash.”
His suntanned complexion paled. “Painful?” he asked as he strode toward the baby.
Maybe he was rethinking any plans he might be formulating about becoming a full-time dad.
Good.
Michelle stared at him as Alexis worked. No gurgling. No crying. Just staring.
“Talk to her,” said Alexis. “She usually vocalizes a bit when she wakes up.”
“What should I say?”
She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. She was comforted, however, because he knew so little. He wouldn’t want to take over Michelle’s care when the scope of the responsibility hit him.
Which was just as it should be. Dan hadn’t been in Sherri’s plan at all. Her sister had never mentioned him. Sherri had, however, counted on Alexis—Auntie Alexis—to be part of Michelle’s life. All the planning
they’d done, the shopping, the child-care books they’d read together…Alexis and Sherri had gotten closer during the pregnancy. Sherri had been taking responsibility and making plans to return to school. Alexis had been proud of her for that.
It wasn’t until the end, in that ambulance, that Sherri had finally shared the truth. Was it because Alexis would be alone and need help? That was the only reason Alexis could imagine. But now, by approaching Dan, she might have started something she’d be sorry for. His “help” could turn into an arrangement Sherri wouldn’t have wanted, either.
She needed to gain Dan’s trust, tear down his defenses.
“Tell her how smart and beautiful she is,” Alexis suggested. “Tell her how the sun is shining in her window. Anything at all. Just talk.”
He followed her first idea, then went off on his own. “Daddy will hire two nurses. No diaper rash for you, baby girl. And after the season, we’ll go to Florida and have a vacation on the boat, and go to Disney. All little kids love Disney, and you will, too. And we’ll take your cousins.”
The baby remained quiet, watching him, and he beamed at Alexis. “How am I doing?”
“Great,” she muttered. “Just great.” She envisioned wild parties with his teammates on his yacht. She moved her head slightly to look at him. “If you have parties on that boat, drinking is out, you know. Trust me, when you’re caring for an infant, everything in your life changes. Everything.”
“Then I guess it will change,” Dan asserted.
Her stomach knotted and dots of perspiration covered her. Fear had invaded, and she needed a minute by herself. “I’m going to warm her bottle.”
“Wait. You can’t leave me alone with her.”
He was right. She couldn’t risk it, not when panic laced his voice. Alexis lifted Michelle and glanced at Dan. “Come on, Daddy,” she began, with an emphasis on the title. “You’ll hold her on the couch first.” She sensed his panic subsiding. “I thought you had a slew of nephews and nieces.”
“I do. But I didn’t change their diapers, or feed them when they ate mush, for that matter.” His voice trailed off as if he was back in time, remembering. “I played with them. You know—on the floor. In the backyard. On the street. We’d throw a ball, they’d climb all over me and we’d have a great time. In fact, we still do.”
“Oh, I’m sure you do. And I’m also sure you waited until they were out of diapers before you got involved with them,” she said. “You don’t have that option now, if you’re serious.”
“I’m as serious as a Hail Mary pass,” he said, sitting down on the sofa. He lifted his arms for Michelle when Alexis approached. “You can count on it.”
She’d be a fool not to and wanted to weep. “You’ll be fine here. She can’t get hurt. I’ll bring the bottle right away.”
Finally, she escaped to the kitchen. Dan Delito claiming Michelle on a full-time basis wasn’t what she’d envisioned at all. He was Boston’s golden boy, a young Turk so busy with a demanding career…always traveling or practicing…with so much money and prestige, so much power….
She slapped her forehead as all the pieces came together. Sherri must have worried about the same thing—that Dan Delito had the clout to simply take the baby from her, a good-time girl working at low-wage jobs. How could Alexis have been so naive as to not realize that right away?
She was busy for less than a minute when she heard, “Wow! What a smile. Come here, Alexis. Look at her. She’s beautiful. Holy cow! I think she’s flirting with me. How can that be?”
“I have no idea.” And she didn’t. She’d never practiced those feminine wiles herself, didn’t trust them, didn’t use them. She couldn’t remember ever playing little girl games with her father. Not that her avoidance had helped.
“Michelle’s simply gorgeous,” said Alexis. “She’s probably just feeling good, and you’re a new distraction.”
“I agree about the gorgeous part. Abso-pos-a-tutely.”
Alexis brought the bottle over and saw a grinning Michelle looking straight up at her dad. The man was a goner. Right over the moon.
But nothing brought more excitement than the promise of the bottle. The baby spotted it, kicked and waved at it. Alexis looked at Dan, then at the formula. Him? Or herself?
Cooperate. Be friendly. Remember the short-term pain and long-term gain philosophy.
With a huge sigh, she handed the milk to Dan and once again disappeared into the kitchen, leaving him alone with his daughter.
One thing she knew for sure: a parent had more clout than an aunt in court. She could fight him, but what
chance did she have of winning? Less than none. She needed Dan to
want
to share the baby. Of course, she now understood the chance of that happening was less than none, as well.
“A
BABY
! W
HAT ARE YOU
talking about?”
In his parents’ large country kitchen, Dan’s mother clutched his arm, her trembling voice revealing the anxiety reflected on her face. His normally upbeat mom wasn’t acting too upbeat today. In fact, she hadn’t been very happy in a long time, at least not with him. He’d disappointed her, disappointed his dad and a pang of guilt pierced him, made him want to reach for some single malt. He clenched his hands into fists and felt his biceps and triceps tighten up. Then he relaxed his muscles. A good quick stress reliever.
On the evening after his visit to Alexis and Michelle, he’d invited himself for dinner at his parents’ house. Andy Romano had already started on the legal paperwork for court. Alexis had promised to call the social worker and arrange a meeting. All Dan had to do was tell his folks the news. Obviously, he wasn’t doing too good a job of it.
“Ma, why don’t you sit down? It’s good news, at least most of it is. I’m talking about my three-month old daughter.”
“Three months! And you never told us?”
He appealed to his dad. “She’s going to have a stroke. Make her sit down.”
“She’s not the only one. What the hell are you talking about, Danny? What baby? Where’s the mother? Did you get married in secret?”
Married? Was his dad nuts? Dan had no plans in that direction.
“Of course I’m not married. But things happen sometimes…you know…like after a game.” He hoped they’d get the picture without a detailed drawing.
“Oh my God! Nicky, did you hear him?” His mom grabbed his dad’s hand. “‘After a game,’ he says. It’s got to be one of those girls, one of those run-around girls who always follow the team. Out for a good time. Out for their money.”
His mom could barely look at him. “How could you, Danny, how could you?” Her words ended on a wail, lingering in the air. “Especially after a wonderful girl like Kim…”
“This has nothing to do with Kim,” he protested. Except, of course, it had everything to do with her. The groupies allowed him to forget for a while.
“So, what’s it going to cost you in support?” his practical dad interrupted. “I assume you’ve gotten proof?”
“Oh, Michelle’s mine, all right,” said Dan, his spirits lifting despite his folks’ reaction to the news. “She’s the cutest, most perfect little baby, no bigger than a football. Yesterday, I gave her a bottle. Wait till you see her….”
Nick held his hand up like a cop. “Stop. I’ll tell you right now that’s not happening until I know everything.”
Dan filled them in, spinning out the story, and watched their reactions. His mom was an easy read. Tears and horror came at Sherri’s murder, then awe at
the delivery in the ambulance, pity for a motherless baby, sympathy for Alexis at first, then a question at Alexis’s waiting three months. By the end of his recital, Rita was on the couch, frozen in her seat, murmuring, “Oh my, oh my…” licking her lips and shaking her head.
“How can you trust this…this Alexis Brown?” asked Nicky. “She probably wants fifty percent of everything you’ve got.”
“Who said anything about trust?” replied Dan. “I’m the father. Alexis has no claim to the baby, other than some visiting now and then. Andy will figure that out.”
“I bet she can’t wait to dump the kid on you,” said his dad.
Maybe if he were hearing the story for the first time, Dan would react exactly as his father had. But now, he wanted to be fair. Alexis had done a great job with Michelle. At some point, Rita and Nicky would probably meet Alexis, and Dan preferred to avoid an awkward encounter.
“That’s not true. Alexis can wait, all right.” He closed his eyes, picturing the lawyer’s expressive face as she played with the baby. “That’s not the problem, Dad. She loves Michelle…actually too much. I saw them together. According to Alexis, she’s the real mom now.”
Nicky’s whistle was long and low. “The real mom? Danny-boy, you’ve got yourself a problem.”
Dan chuckled wryly. “Oh, I’ve got lots of problems, but Alexis Brown isn’t one of them. She’s an attorney. She knows the score. I’ll only see her from time to time in the future, when she visits Michelle.”
He’d say goodbye to those sparkly green eyes and
lovely curves, the cute bottom that made his hand itch, and the great legs—not to mention the sharp mind. He’d almost enjoyed their sparring.
Rita stared at him, her complexion back to healthy. “You don’t sound too happy about that, Dan. And besides, maybe you should be friendly toward her. You might need her help with the baby.”
“I’ve already had her help, and now I simply owe her a debt of thanks. She’s taken excellent care of my daughter.” Might as well emphasize his fatherhood and get his folks used to it.
“When can we meet this paragon of a woman?” asked Nicky. “We need to know who we’re dealing with.”
Surprised at his dad’s question, Dan said, “You don’t need to meet her at all. In a week, it won’t matter. Michelle will be with me full-time. We’ll transfer her to my house next week, after I get back from Baltimore.” With hope in his heart, he added, “And grandparents are always welcome.”
“I’
M SO SORRY IT
turned out this way, Alexis, but you did the right thing.”
Alexis accepted the hugs and sympathy from Roz three weeks after Dan had come to her place. Her fears had been confirmed. Dan was in; Alexis was out—as of today—per expedited orders of the probate court. By some miracle, Roz wasn’t as angry with her for withholding the information about Dan Delito as she would have thought.
“Under ordinary circumstances, I’d have been furious,” the social worker said, “but I can understand your
reluctance to spread rumors if Dan Delito had turned out
not
to be the dad. In fact, we might have created bad publicity for the department.”
“It’s the celebrity thing.”
Roz shrugged. “Blame the public.”
Tears rolled down Alexis’s cheeks once more. “I blame myself. Why did I not foresee something like this? At the very worst, I thought shared custody…. What should I have, could I have done differently to keep Michelle with me?”
“Not a single thing.” Roz paused. “Look at me, Alexis. Hear me out. And believe me.”
Alexis stared at her friend.
“You did everything right, and life just sucks sometimes. Despite your pain, you’ve given your niece a gift that no one else in this entire world could have given her. The gift of a real daddy and a big family. You know we’ve checked him out, regardless of his great public image, and he’s the real McCoy. A clean background. Michelle’s getting herself a good daddy.”
As long as he didn’t drink to excess. As long as her first meeting with him was an aberration. “And my parents are out of the visitation picture entirely. Right?”
“Absolutely.” Roz stared at her. “Want to talk about them?”
“I have nothing to say. They’re a closed chapter.”
Roz squeezed her arm. “Okay.”
They both tiptoed to the crib and peeped at the baby for a full minute. Alexis’s breathing became labored as she fought tears again. In one hour, her life and Michelle’s would change. Dan would arrive to take the baby, and Alexis would remain in an empty apartment.
Tomorrow, and every night thereafter, only silence would be her companion in the condo. Closing her eyes, she already sensed the loneliness.
She heaved a deep breath and straightened her spine.
Suck it up, kiddo. No pity parties.
Michelle will have every advantage you and Sherri didn’t—a loving daddy, a beautiful home, lots of toys and plenty of young cousins.
“I’m petitioning the probate court for visiting rights,” she said to Roz when they returned to the living room. “I’d be a fool to trust Dan Delito’s promises. All he’s thinking about is his new daughter. He won’t care about me at all after he gets Michelle.”
“You may be right,” replied Roz quietly, “but don’t forget, you got what you wanted, too.” She raised a finger as she made her points. “You’re back at work right on schedule this Monday, your day-care problem is solved and your money worries are over.”
Alexis sighed. “I should have been more careful with my wishes.” Or she should have become a defense attorney with rich clients and a big bank account.
When the buzzer rang from the lobby, nausea rose, threatening to overpower her. With a trembling hand, she pushed the release button to let Dan inside and waited for him on the threshold of her condo.
“I’m going downstairs with you.” The sentence tumbled out of her mouth as soon as she saw him. She didn’t know she would say those words, hadn’t planned on saying them, but they rolled off her tongue as a done deal. She didn’t ask, she stated.
His eyes narrowed, his tentative smile disappeared entirely. “May I come in?”
“Of course.”
Not.
But she stepped aside and watched his expression change to one of delight when he spotted the baby in Roz’s arms. He made a beeline to Michelle and peered down at his daughter.
“Hello, sweet petunia.”
My sweet petunia.
But the baby reacted with her usual excitement, waving her arms, moving her legs at the man. And with one feathery motion, Dan slipped Michelle from Roz’s arms into his own. So quick. So definite. So possessive. Then he looked at Alexis.
“Coming to the car is not a good idea.” His gaze traveled all over her. “You’re on the verge of a meltdown already, and you’d only prolong the goodbye.” He glanced at the social worker. “Don’t you agree?”
Roz’s arm came around Alexis. Warm, sure, comforting.
But Alexis was beyond comfort. The reality was worse, much worse, than she could have imagined. Her insides trembled as though she were a rag doll with every limb dancing its own cha-cha.
“How will she travel?” Her voice was raspy, her throat hurt. “Did you buy the right toiletries? Who will take care of her tomorrow?”
And that’s when she saw compassion in his face, warmth in his dark eyes as he looked at her. “It’s all arranged, Alexis,” he said quietly. “Don’t worry about a thing. My mom, who’s raised three children, is coming tomorrow morning. We’ve got a home game this weekend against Dallas, and the rest of the family will meet Michelle afterward. I’m also calling a nanny agency to provide full-time help.”
He walked toward her, raised his free arm and stroked her cheek. “I’m not a monster, Alexis Brown. Call me to arrange a visit.”
Then he turned to Roz. “My attorney’s downstairs in the car. Are we squared away?”
Roz nodded. “The paperwork’s done. The baby’s been delivered. She’s legally yours now, Mr. Delito. Good luck to you and Michelle. Just one more thing…”
He waited.
“I sincerely hope, for Michelle’s sake if not for her aunt’s, that you’re generous with visiting arrangements for Alexis. A child can’t have too many loving relatives, and Auntie Alexis tops the list. She’s kept your daughter safe and whole.” Her soft voice still managed to exude authority and professionalism, as well as loyalty to her client. Alexis wanted to cheer.
“I’ll do what I can. My schedule’s hectic, though—Alexis knows that.”
He approached Alexis. “I bought her the top-of-the-line car seat that converts to a stroller, her dresser is filled with clothes and there’s plenty of formula in the kitchen. She’ll be fine.” He looked at the baby. “Won’t you, Michelle?”
But Michelle had spotted Alexis and begun crying and waving her arms again. Without thinking twice, Alexis scooped her away from the big man. “I’m going downstairs to the car.”
His mouth tightened, and he shook his head. “Fine. But it will only be harder on you.”
Five minutes later, after tucking Michelle into her new car seat, Alexis stood in front of her building and watched Dan’s automobile slowly disappear down the
street. It reached the corner, stopped for a red light, then continued until it was a speck in the distance. A moment later, it became invisible.
“I’ll stay with you for a while,” said Roz. “Come on upstairs.”
But Alexis remained frozen to the spot, unsure if her heart continued to beat, but absolutely sure that in heaven, Sherri was crying along with her.
A
T MIDNIGHT
, D
AN FOUND
himself lying on the floor in the baby’s room, more exhausted than after a field practice. Michelle just wouldn’t settle down. He’d fed her, burped her, even changed a full diaper, and still she’d been cranky. Finally, around ten o’clock, she’d fallen asleep in his arms. By that time, however, he’d been afraid to put her in the crib in case she woke up again, as she’d done earlier. So, he’d kept walking and holding her—for two hours.
And all the while, he thought about Kim. He missed her so damn much. He fought the lump in his throat, fought the urge for some alcoholic relief. That urge—that strong urge—always came over him in tandem with his grief. He could see that relationship now. When he thought about Kim, he wanted a drink. He’d have to fight harder.
When twelve o’clock struck, he held his breath, and as gently as he could, placed Michelle in the crib. She continued sleeping. Fatigue overcame his urge for a Scotch, and he dropped to the sleeping bag he’d placed on the floor earlier. His own comfortable bed teased from just down the hall, but he stayed put in case Michelle cried again. His lids closed.
All he needed was a good nanny. Andy Romano’s law firm had done the research, and Dan’s agent had made the calls, keeping Dan’s identity a secret. As he’d told both men earlier, he wanted an experienced nanny, someone with good common sense. Someone who didn’t give a hoot about football and fame and could keep her mouth shut. She had to be kind and sweet with his daughter. She had to be someone he could trust when he was on the road.
“And if I find that supernanny,” his agent had said, “I might keep her for myself!”
Dan had laughed. “Fat chance. Your wife’s all about your kids. No nannies in your house.”
He tossed and turned on top of the sleeping bag.
Interviews were set for Monday. Tomorrow, Friday, he had a day of weight training at the stadium; a night’s sleep would help but was now unlikely. He’d spend Saturday at home watching videos of the Dallas Cowboys. Sunday was game day, and mental toughness was king. He started visualizing himself on the field, doing what he needed to do, passing the ball off, running or standing in the pocket waiting for his receiver to get open while, at the same time, bracing himself to be taken down. The images started to blur, to fade; his muscles relaxed; his breathing became even….