Montana Morning (25 page)

“Sure thing. I
think it’s going to be pretty quiet around here this afternoon.” 

Will told Addy
where they were going and that they would be home by suppertime, hopefully with
fish to fry.

“Sounds good, as
long as you clean them yourselves.” Addy got the idea they were leaving to give
Jack lots of space, and that was probably a real bright idea right now. 
She would hide out upstairs in her room and write letters, having a hunch Jack
might be going into town in the next day or so, given the black cloud hanging
over his head when he left the house.  She did go down to the shed with
some cold lemonade in the middle of the afternoon.  Jack was still under
the baler.

“Would you like
some cold lemonade?” she asked, bending down so she could see him.

“No.” He didn’t
say another word. She went back to the house hoping this day would soon be
over.  Between Jack and Scotty, she was beginning to feel a bit like a
punching bag.

***

“Addy, look what
we caught!” Scotty ran into the house with a gigantic smile plastered across
his face.  “Aren’t they beauties?”  In his hand was a willow switch
covered with big beautiful trout.  “And we cleaned them, just like you
said.”

“Sure a good thing
for you,” she teased.  “I’d have hated to throw them out.”

“Throw them
out!  You’re kidding!” Scotty gave her a shocked look and rolled his eyes.

“Yes, I’m
kidding!”   Addy went into the kitchen and put the potatoes she’d
peeled earlier on the stove.  “I was counting on you fellows.  If you
hadn’t caught fish, this would have been a vegetarian meal.”

“Lordy, Jack would
have really been in a mood then,” Will said, flashing her a smile.

“He isn’t now?”
she asked, knowing the answer.  “Seriously, Will,” she wanted to ask while
the others weren’t around, “do you have any idea what this is about?”

“Hospital bills
would be my guess.” He looked out the window towards the shed.  “Pretty
damned dumb, those accountant fellows.” His shoulders drooped as he sat down at
the table.  “You can’t pay bills with money you haven’t got.”

“Couldn’t he set
up some kind of payment plan?”

“That’s what he’s
been working at, but I have a feeling they didn’t like his offer.” Will excused
himself and went to wash up for supper.  Jack made a fuss over the big
fish and ate several for show, but Addy could tell he almost choked on
them.  Scotty was fooled into thinking everything was back to normal,
however, so they all went along with it, and the meal soon was behind
them.  Andy made some excuse about things to do in the barn.  Will
asked Scotty to sit on the front porch with him and watch the pheasants feeding
in the meadows.

Jack sat staring
into his empty coffee cup; Addy seriously doubted he even knew the others had
left the table.  She put the dishes into the sink and went to her
room.  When she came back, she sat down across the table from him and put
all her paychecks on the table.

“What am I
supposed to do with these?” His voice was cold as ice.

“Let me help . .
.”

“I don’t need your
help!  I don’t want your help!” he yelled and threw the checks back at
her.

“Fine!” She
screamed at him, screaming for the first time since she was a child. 
“Scotty was right, I’m just a hired hand.  Nothing more.  You won’t
let me be.”

“Addy . . .” his
voice shook as he realized how much he had hurt her.

“Adrianna to
you!  I’ll finish out my contract and then I’m gone.  Now, if you’ll
excuse me Mr. Kilbourne, I have weeds to pull.” The screen door slammed so hard
the whole house seemed to shake. Jack sat in stunned silence.  He hadn’t
thought . . . and he’d hurt her, really hurt her.

“Mad as a wet hen,
isn’t she?” Will ambled into the kitchen and refilled his coffee mug. 
“Scotty and I heard the whole thing from the front porch.”

“Pops, I screwed
up, big time. I’ll go talk to her when she cools off. Right now she’s in no
mood to listen to reason.”

“Son, I was
married to your mother for over fifty years and judgin’ by what I’m seeing out
in that garden, she’s not coolin’ off, if anything, she’s building up more
steam.”  Jack pushed back from the table and went to the window. 
Tools, dirt, and plants were flying in every direction.

“Oh, my God.” Jack
had never seen a woman quite so angry.

“You’d better
pray, all right . . . then, take it from a man who has been there, you’d better
get your butt out there and apologize.  Pronto.”

 “She’s not
going to listen to a word I have to say.  She’s too hurt.”

“Oh she’ll listen,
but you’ll have to do something to get her attention first.”

“Like what?”

“Use your
imagination.” Will tipped his head in the direction of the living room.

“Addy’s going to
leave and it’s all my fault.”  Scotty sobbed. “I told her I was sorry,
that I didn’t mean it . . .”

“Relax, Addy’s not
going anywhere,” Jack growled, as he threw on his hat and slammed out the back
door.

“If they don’t
make up soon, I’m going to have to replace the screen door!” Will grinned and
patted Scotty on the head.  “Don’t worry about it, Son.  Addy’s just
going to give your grandpa a lesson on
‘standing
on his head’
. 
Want to go riding?”

“Grownups!” Scotty
ran to keep up with Will.  “Why are we going riding now?”

“Getting out of
the line of fire.”

***

Jack stood at the
edge of the garden watching her.  She was sitting on her knees, throwing
weeds, plants, dirt and all, over her shoulders with both hands.

“Addy?” Jack
stepped cautiously toward her.

“My name is
Adrianna, always has been!  Now get out of my garden!” The dirt flew even
higher.

“Addy, we need to
talk . . . NOW!” he stepped around and stood in front of her.

“We have nothing
to talk about Mr. Kilbourne!” She changed rows and weeded past him. He moved in
front of her once more.   

“Addy, listen to
me . . .”

“I’m through
listening, now leave me alone . . . and if you think for one minute I’m going
to cry over a bullheaded, bowlegged, hayseed cowboy . . .”

“Woman!” He
grabbed her by the shoulders and picked her straight up into his arms. 
“Shut up!”  Addy had never in her life been kissed like this . . . she
couldn’t breathe. When he finally sat her back down on her feet, her knees felt
like jelly, she wasn’t sure her legs would hold her.

“Now, are you
ready to listen?” he growled at her.

 She steeled
her back as best she could and turned to walk away.

Jack felt his heart
breaking.  “Addy,” he pleaded with her. “Oh God, please don’t . . .”

“I’m listening.”
Tears ran down her dirty cheeks. 

As Jack stood
behind her, he gazed over the ranch house, barns, and meadows below. 
“Addy, I’ve spent my whole life on this place.  If things don’t turn
around soon, I’m going to lose it. Do you understand?  Lose it all. I have
nothing to offer you . . . I know I can’t expect a woman like you to understand
but . . .” 

“Who exactly is
this ‘woman like me’, Jack?” Addy’s anger was back.  “This woman like me,
is she the one who frets for hours if you don’t happen to like what she fixes
for dinner?  This woman like me, is she the one who gets weak in the knees
at your slightest touch?  Is she the one who cries herself to sleep at
night, wishing she was in your arms? Who is this ‘woman like me’?”

“Oh, honey, I’m so
sorry.”  He kissed her again and again, gently, softly, without passion.
She laid her head against his chest as he untied her braid and ran his fingers
through her hair. Rocking her gently in his arms he whispered, “Addy, do you
love me?  I mean real love, the kind that lasts a lifetime?”  When
she didn’t answer, he lifted her chin with his calloused fingertip and looked
into her tear-filled eyes.  “Answer me,” he pleaded.  “Honey, I’ve
heard you say you love Scotty.  I’ve heard you say you love this
place.  Good grief, I’ve even heard you tell Pops you love him.  Why
not me?”  She buried her head back in his chest long enough to ask God for
courage and plunged in.

“I can’t. 
You’re different because if you don’t love me back, I . . .” his arms tightened
around her.

“Addy, honey, I’ve
loved you since that first day, when you came to the door, laughing at yourself
and fighting with your boot.”  She looked up to meet Jack’s now smiling
eyes.  “Oh, my head didn’t catch on for a while, but my heart knew all
along.”  He started to laugh.

“What’s so funny?”
She stood before him trying to wipe the muddy tears from her face.

“I sure wish your
son could see you right now.” He wiped her tears with his handkerchief.

“Why would you
want Chad to see me like this?  I’m a mess.”

“That’s the
point!  He basically told me if I couldn’t love you just the way you were,
not to bother at all!” Jack took her hand and headed for the springs behind the
house. 

Addy could not
believe her ears. “Chad wouldn’t . . .”

“Not only would he
. . . he did.  I really thought there for a minute or two he might punch
my lights out for me.” Jack grinned at her look of horror.

“Oh, my stars! 
I’m sorry.  I cannot believe . . . ’

“Believe it! And
don’t you apologize for him.  That boy loves you like a good son should,
and he’s protective as the devil.  It’s his right.” He stood at the edge
of the springs and gave her a lopsided grin. “You have one heck of a temper
lady; I didn’t know that about you before today.”

She blushed and
looked into the water.  “Neither did I.”

“Don’t tell me
that was your first tantrum!”

“As far as I can
remember.”

“You sure did
build up a head of steam . . . which reminds me of why I brought you up here,”
he said, as he pulled off his boots. He swept her up into his arms and walked
into the water.

“You wouldn’t
dare!” she said, as she held on for dear life.

“You need your
face washed.”

“Don’t you dare
drop me in this cold water!”

“I have no
intention of dropping you . . . ever,” he said, stepping into the center of the
spring.  The water was up to his waist and he sat her gently on her feet.
“Hold onto me,” he ordered, as he washed the grime off her face.  “You still
haven’t answered my question, Woman.  Do you?”

“As if you didn’t
know.” She started to laugh but realized how quiet he had become, and looked up
into his eyes. 
‘He really doesn’t know, not for sure. How can he not
know?’
  She raised her hands to his face, running her wet fingers
through his beard.  Staring deep into his wonderful big brown eyes, she
told him what she thought he’d known all along.  “Cowboy, I love you more
than life itself.  I’ve loved you for so long; I can’t remember when I
didn’t love you.”  She gently pulled his face down to meet hers and kissed
him with a passion she didn’t even realize she was capable of, as they stood
clinging to one another in the middle of the cold springs.

“Promise me
something, would you?  Promise to tell me you love me, just like that, at
least twice a day ‘till the day I die,” Jack murmured in her ear.

“At least twice a
day, I promise.”

 Jack helped
her out of the spring and after rescuing his boots they went back to the house.

“Want to meet me
at the tree in the meadow after a hot shower?” He looked at her and couldn’t
help but smile.  Her hair was tangled. Her clothes were wet and filthy,
but to him she was beautiful.

***

As Jack made his
way into the meadow, the last rays of daylight disappeared and the moon peeked
over the Wilderness Mountains. Addy was sitting on the stump by the elm tree
brushing the tangles from her hair. 

“Let me.” He took
the brush and began moving it slowly through her hair.  They sat absorbing
the sights and sounds in the darkness. 

“Jack, I need to
explain why I acted like I did earlier.”  The brush kept moving slowly
through her hair.  “Earlier when you said you had nothing to offer me,
what did you mean?” The brush paused and then moved once more.

“I want to spend
every minute, every hour of every day and every night, for the rest of my life
with you, but right now, with things the way they are . . .”

“You feel you
can’t ask me to share your life in the bad times?”

“Let’s just say
I’d rather start out in the good times.”

“That is what I
need to explain and what I need you to understand.” She took the brush and laid
it on the stump. Addy needed to see his face, read his eyes. “I’ve been put on
a pedestal like a princess.  I’ve been watched over like a child. I am neither
a princess nor a child.  For the first time in my life, I know what it is
to be a complete woman.  I don’t want to be above you or below you. I want
to be beside you, a helpmate, as God intended me to be.”

“I feel like I
need to protect you, take care of you . . . I want to.”

“You can protect
me from the cougars in life, but only if you will let me, trust me, to bandage
your cuts and scratches.”  Her eyes pleaded with him to understand what
she was trying to tell him.

He drew her into
his arms. After several minutes he pulled back and watched her face.  “No
room for pride between us, is that what you’re trying to say?”

“So much love and
sharing between us there’s no room for anything else; not pride, mistrust,
anger or fear.”

“I’ve spent most
of my life believing, truly believing, that kind of caring wasn’t possible,”
Jack admitted.

“And now?”

“And now you and
I, together, are going to spend the rest of our lives proving just how wrong I
was.

The morning sun
was shining in his eyes, but Scotty didn’t want to open them.  It had been
a long, long night.  When he and Will had returned from their ride, it was
after dark.  Addy and Jack had been nowhere to be found.  Even though
Grandpa Will had assured him everything was going to be just fine, Scotty had
spent most of the night praying.  He had learned a valuable lesson about
speaking in anger and hurting other people.  He just prayed it wouldn’t
cost him Addy.  Life without her was hard to imagine.  He heard the
men downstairs, but as hard as he tried, he couldn’t hear her voice. 
Finally, he pulled himself out of bed and got dressed.  He was standing at
the top of the stairs, when Andy walked in the front door.