Leave It to Chance (2 page)

Sierra let the idea machine wind down. “I don’t think so.”

“Angora rabbits?”

“No farm animals.”

Elise’s mouth perked into humorous pout. “Sierra, you’re such a spoilsport. Those kids need a pet.”

“A hamster is a pet. A horse is not.”

Diva Elise took the stage, hands on her ample hips. “Don’t tell me you didn’t want a horse growing up. Remember, I was the one who had to sit and watch
National Velvet
with you time ad nauseam. You’ve said yourself that Braden needs something to take his mind off the problems he’s having at school and with his dad.”

Guilt, a wheelbarrow load of it, dumped on Sierra. “You are supposed to be helping me, Elise, not making it worse. I want to get rid of this horse and …” her eyes dodged away from her friend, “… you know.”

“Mmm-hmm. And still look like Super Mom in your children’s eyes.”

Sierra nodded, but couldn’t find the nerve to say
yes
.

“Sierra Montgomery, those children have been to heck and back in the last couple years and you’re willing to deny them the pleasure of owning their own
free
horse because … because of what?”

Sierra stared at the ground for a moment, feeling a tangle of emotions rise within. She let her eyes rest on Elise’s and said quietly, “Fear? Terror? Hysteria?”

A look of puzzlement, then understanding settled on Elise’s face, smoothing away the annoyance. “Molly.”

Sierra nodded. “I won’t put my children in that kind of danger.”

Elise leaned forward and grabbed Sierra’s hands, holding them tight. “Oh, hon. That was a long time ago. Don’t let your life be ruled by the what-ifs. There’s a lot of living left to do. And your kids need to see you taking life by storm, taking chances, not hiding in the shadows.”

“That’s easy for you to say. You were voted most likely to parachute off the Empire State Building.”

Elise gave her a cheeky grin, both dimples winking at her. “We could do it tandem!”

“If you see me jump off the Empire State Building you’ll know my lobotomy was successful, because there is no way in this lifetime you’ll catch this body leaving good sense behind!” Sierra heard the words come from her own mouth and stared at her friend in wonder. “Oh, my gosh. That was so my mom.”

“It was bound to happen, hon.”

Was she serious?
“You think I’m turning into her?” Sierra brought a hand to her throat and quickly dropped it. How many times had she seen her mom use the same gesture?

Elise laughed. “You need to stop fretting and just
live
. We all turn out like our mothers in some respect.”

“All except you. You’re nothing like Vivian.”

“Other than the drinking, smoking, and carousing, I’m exactly like her.”

Sierra lifted a brow. Her mom had rarely let her go to Elise’s house when they were growing up—and for good reason.

Elise struck a pose like a fashion model. “Okay, I’m the anti-Vivian.” She gave Sierra a soft smile. “All funnin’ aside, I really think you should keep the horse.”

“I’m not keeping the horse. And even if I wanted to, I couldn’t.” Sierra took a settling breath and stared at the tree over Elise’s shoulder.

“Michael still hasn’t paid?”

Elise knew more about her finances than her mom did. “He paid, but the check bounced again. So now he’s two months behind in child support.”

“Have you heard if Pollan’s is rehiring?”

“They’re not.” Jarrett’s, the local grocery store where she worked for the three years since the divorce had been recently bought out by Pollan’s. They had laid off the majority of the checkers with the possibility of rehiring some.

Elise cringed as if she was bracing herself for a blow. “And the unemployment fiasco?”

Sierra shut her eyes. “Mr. Jarrett did not pay into our unemployment insurance, so there is no benefit for us to draw from. Yes, it was illegal, and yes he will pay, but it may take months, if not years, for various lawyers and judges to beat it out of him.” She gave Elise a tired smile. “That’s the version minus all the legalese.”

“So the layoffs are final, no unemployment bennies, and you’re out of a job.”

“Momentarily. The résumé has been dusted off and polished.” She gave a wry grin.

“I wish I could hire you at Deluxe Couture, but I promised Nora full-time work. And besides, your cute little buns would drive my clientele away.”

Sierra waved a hand over her jeans and sweatshirt. “Your clientele would outshine me any day.”

“You sell yourself far too short.” Elise glanced at the hefty rhinestone-encrusted watch on her wrist. “Anything else I can do for you? Help the kids with their homework? Babysit while you sweep some tall, dark, handsome man off his feet?”

Sierra laughed. “And where is this dream man going to come from?”

Elise gave a breezy wave of her hand and opened the car door. “Oh, he’ll turn up. You’re too cute to stay single. I actually have someone in mind. Pavo Marcello. He’s a new sales rep from one of my favorite lines. I’ll see if he’s free Friday night. You aren’t doing anything, are you?”

“Hold on!” Sierra stepped in front of the car door to keep her friend from leaving. “First, I’m not looking. Second, given my history, I’m not the best judge of character. I’ve already struck out once in the man department.” She pointed to her face with both index fingers. “Not anxious to try again. Third, you just told me I’m turning into my mom, which makes me definitely not dating material.”

A twist of Elise’s lips signaled a thought. “You know, now that I think about it, I believe he has a boyfriend.” She shook her head and lowered herself into the car. “We’ll keep looking. I’m sure Sir Knight will turn up.”

Sierra shut the car door and grinned down at her friend. “And what about finding your knight?”

Elise gave her a bright smile. “Mr. Pellum is already taken. You really need to find a way to keep that horse; it’ll be your first noble sacrifice.”

“First?”

The little car backed up, and Elise spoke over the windshield. “The others don’t count.”

Sierra stared at the retreating car. There was no way she was keeping that horse.

After dinner, Sierra crept into Braden’s room. He sat on the bed intent on the Game Boy in his lap, the tinny sound of hard rock bleeding out of his earphones. She waved a hand and he glanced up. She waited and with a look of preteen exasperation he finally pulled the headphones to his shoulders.

“What, Mom?”

“I just wanted to say good night.”

“Good night.” His hands started to readjust the music back into position.

“I looked at your homework.”

“You got into my backpack? Isn’t that like against the law or something? You’re always telling us not to get into
your
stuff.”

She crossed her arms. Frustration and worry gnawed at her. “You lied to me about doing your assignment. Why, honey?”

He ignored her and started playing his Game Boy.

She took one step and snatched the game from his hands.

“Hey!”

“I want some respect when I talk to you, Braden.”

His chin sank toward his chest, his gaze fixed on his bed, his voice low. “I didn’t want to do it.”

She sat next to him, her voice soft. “Is it too hard?”

He shrugged. “It gives me a headache when I work on it.”

“Braden, if you need help, I’d be happy to work with you after school.”

He stared at his knees and picked at a loose string of cotton on his pajama bottoms.

“I got a phone call from Mrs. Hamison today.”

His body came alert, though he didn’t look at her.

“She said you’re flunking most of your subjects, and she hasn’t seen any homework from you since school started a month ago.”

He glanced up, his jaw belligerent, but with fear in his eyes.

“What’s going on? I know school isn’t easy, but you’ve never given up before.”

“Middle school’s harder.”

She wanted to touch him, to brush the hair off his forehead and snuggle him close the way she used to when he was small. Back when a hug and a treat shared over the kitchen table was enough to bring the sparkle back to her son. “She thinks we should have your vision tested.”

“Why?”

“She’s noticed some things in class and thinks it might be helpful.”

He shrugged again. “Can I have my game back?”

“You lied to me, son. Again.”

“
Sor
-ry.”

“You break trust every time you choose to be dishonest. Is that what you want?”

His voice was sullen and he stared at his comforter. “No.”

She touched his leg. “What’s bothering you, honey?”

“I dunno. Can I have my game back?”

She stood up. There was a time for talking and this obviously wasn’t it. “You can have it tomorrow.”

But would tomorrow be any different?

Chapter 2

After kissing Emory and Trevor good night, Sierra wandered back downstairs for a glass of water before getting ready for bed. She was glad for the quiet. She set the empty glass on the counter when the phone rang.

“Hello?”

“So how’d it go? Were they thrilled?”

“Elise, I’m not keeping the horse.”

A patient sigh sounded through the line. “I wish you could just let go and let God.”

“Elise …” Her friend made it sound like she could just sashay into some grand dance with God.

“I know, I know. Not a topic for friendly discussion.”

Sierra stayed firm. “Not if you want to
remain
friends.”

“I just wish you and God would get back on speaking terms.”

“It’s not a simple matter of speaking to Him; it’s about trust. You know, a God who showed that He cared through hard times would’ve come in handy.”

“Okay, so moving along.”

Sierra smiled.

“So what’d you tell the kids?”

“Before or after they got into a fight about whose fault the divorce was?”

“Oh, hon, it has been a day!” A significant pause. “Will you ever tell them why he left?”

“No, you know that.” Sierra sank into a kitchen chair. “Braden has gotten so angry with me, always ready to defend his dad to the death. And I work so hard not to say anything negative about the man.”

“Hon, do you think Michael or Gina talk to him about you?”

“I don’t know. I have no control over what they tell the kids, and I’d drive myself crazy trying to go there.”

“You’re right, of course.” Elise’s voice took on a delicious tone. “But wouldn’t it give you some satisfaction to tell the kids what a two-timing louse he really is?”

Sierra forced a laugh. “And it would help them to know their dad abandoned them to marry the dental hygienist who worked for him after hours?”

“Mmm, I see your point,” Elise mused. “I wonder what the policy is for nominating someone to sainthood. Saint Sierra has a quaint ring to it.”

That brought a genuine laugh to Sierra’s throat. “You are something else, you know?”

“Have you changed your mind about the horse?”

“No!”

“What if room and board was a gift from Aunty Elise?”

“It would probably be the last gift Aunty Elise was able to give.”

“Hmm. Better make it anonymous.”

“I’m going to bed.”

Friday afternoon, Sierra set the plate of crackers with sliced cheese on the table.

Trevor gazed up at her. “Can I have an apple?”

“We’re out of apples, sweetie. Hurry up, your dad’s going to be here in a few minutes.”

Emory rushed into the room and grabbed a cracker. “Did you wash my blanket today?”

On her way to the counter, Sierra stroked a hand across Em’s shoulders. “Yep, it’s in the dryer. Is Braden upstairs?”

A relieved smile washed over her daughter’s face. “Thanks! He’s in his room packing.” She rushed past the sink to the little alcove that housed the washer and dryer. She might have been nine, but her special “blankie” still went on overnighters with her.

Sierra hollered up the stairs. “Come on, Braden. There’s a snack on the table.”

Emory hurried back and stuffed the blanket into her backpack. “Is Dad here yet?”

“I haven’t heard a honk.”

Braden sauntered down the stairs, his overnight bag draped over his shoulder. He stopped at the table and stuffed several crackers into his mouth. “Bye.” Puffs of cracker dust spewed out with the word. He gave them a wide, crumb-filled grin and headed for the front door.

Emory made a face at her mom. “That was disgusting.”

Sierra grinned. “No, that was boys!”

Her daughter laughed, grabbed her bag, and gave her a big hug. “I’ll miss you.”

Sierra kissed the tip of the sweet nose. “I’ll miss you, too, pumpkin, but I bet you’ll have a good time.”

A shadow of guilt crossed her daughter’s face as if it were somehow wrong to have fun at her dad’s.

“I
want
you to have a good time.” Sierra rocked her daughter back and forth in a tight hug. “Got it, girl?”

Em giggled and looked up at her with a smile. “Got it!”

Sierra gave Trevor his overnight bag and followed him and Emory out the front door.

Braden gave her a funny look. “What are you doing out here?”

“I need to talk to your dad.”

Defensiveness crossed his face. “Why?”

“I just need to talk to him.”

Emory chimed in. “He won’t call her back.”

At Sierra’s look, Emory explained, “I heard you talking to Elise.”

A few minutes later the black Lexus pulled into their gravel driveway. The redhead in the passenger seat didn’t even turn to look at them. The woman never did.

Sierra followed the kids off the porch, but sandy-haired Michael, dressed in an expensive charcoal suit, jumped out of the car. That was a first. He herded their bewildered children back toward the house. “I’m not going to be able to take the kids this weekend.”

“What?” An outraged Braden, who hung close to the car, dropped his backpack to the ground.

Michael gave him a sharp look, then turned back to her. “Gina and I are headed out of town, and Emory borrowed my iPod.” He turned to their daughter. “Em, I’m in a hurry, could you get it for me?”

Em darted back to the house.

Sierra crossed her arms. “It’s the kids’ weekend to be with you. They’ve been looking forward to it.”

“Don’t lay a guilt trip on me! Things come up.”

“You’ve canceled the last three weekends.”

“Geez, Sierra. I don’t work my tail off to make a better life for my kids just to have you breathing down my neck.”

Trevor moved close and wrapped an arm around her thigh.

Michael directed a stern look at their youngest. “Take your thumb out of your mouth, Trevor. Big boys don’t suck their thumbs.”

Trevor immediately pulled his thumb out and wiped it on his pants. Sierra laid an arm across his small shoulders. She kept her voice low and calm. “We need to talk.”

Gina’s voice floated across the small yard. “We’re going to be late, Michael.”

Sierra ignored the interruption. “When can I get a check? I can’t feed or house our children without some help.”

Gina’s voice came again. “Michael.”

Emory ran back out of the house and handed her dad the iPod.

Sierra glanced at the car, then back to her ex-husband. “Where are you going that you can’t take the kids?”

His eyes shifted from her to the porch railing. “I have a business meeting.”

Sierra couldn’t contain the edge to her voice. “On a Friday night?”

Gina’s voice grew urgent. “We only have thirty minutes to make the flight, sweetheart. We need to go right now.”

He barked toward the car, “I know!”

Gina’s window zipped up, and the woman faced the garage once again.

Sierra clenched her fists, but kept her voice low. “You’re flying somewhere, yet you can’t pay their child support?”

“It’s a dental conference, okay?”

Right
. Michael hated conferences. “When will I get a check?”

Annoyance hissed out with his next words. “My bookkeeper messed up. You’ll get it next week.

“It’s been two months. I need it tomorrow.”

“Next week, okay? I gotta go.” He shoved his hands into his pockets, then paused as their youngest caught his eye. “Trevor, I said, take your thumb out of your mouth!” And he was gone. No hugs for the kids, no reassuring “I’ll call you guys when I get there,” or “I’ll see you in a few days.” Just taillights fading in the distance.

Emory started to cry. Her hands hung limp at her side, misery in the slump of her shoulders. Trevor automatically raised his thumb to his mouth, then jerked it back down. And Braden … Braden was nowhere to be seen.

Sierra went to her daughter and tried to wrap her arms around the sobbing girl, but Emory stiffened, then jerked away and ran into the house.

“Mom?” Trevor’s sad face looked up at her. “Why didn’t Dad take us?”

She picked him up. How to be honest and yet try to keep their relationship with their dad intact? “Oh, honey, Daddy had a meeting. I’m so sorry.”

“I want to go with him.”

Sierra rubbed his back, anger and sadness for her children a physical ache in her heart. “I know you do, sweetie. I know.”

A staccato noise sounded in the backyard.

Holding Trevor, she followed the intermittent clatter toward the open gate at the rear of the house. Braden stood in the middle of the backyard near the gravel walkway, pelting the wood fence with rocks.

“I’m so sorry, Braden. Your dad—”

“Shut up!” Another angry handful of gravel scattered across the boards.

Trevor wiggled down. “I want to go in the house.”

“Okay. I’ll be in soon.” Trevor disappeared through the patio door into the house. Sierra walked toward her eldest. “Braden, I—”

He turned to glare at her. “Go away!”

Sierra stopped several feet from him. “Honey, I can’t—”

“I hate you both!” His face contorted with anger, but there were tears in his eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

He ran past her into the house, and the heavy boom of music pounded from his room the rest of the evening.

Monday morning Sierra loaded the last of the breakfast bowls into the dishwasher and shut the door. Thoughts on how to help her children, especially Braden, had spun through her mind all weekend. Her son was slipping away and becoming another person. One who was angry and at times hateful.

The doorbell rang and Trevor ran to answer it. “Grandma!”

The spunky woman, with short gray hair and round glasses, rained grandma kisses on his cheeks. “How’s my favorite Trevor boy?”

“Grandma, did you know we got a horse?”

Sierra gave her mom a subtle shake of her head.

“I did hear that. Have you gone to see it yet?” Her mom sent her a mischievous look. Sierra rolled her eyes and mouthed, “Thanks a lot.” She grabbed her jacket, the yellow folder stacked with crisp résumés in it, and the list of businesses she planned to approach. “I’ll be back in a few hours.”

“Wait a sec.” Her mom moved around Trevor to set her purse on the back of the couch. She rummaged in the roomy bag for a moment, then handed Sierra a folded section of newspaper with a notepad clipped to the front. “I went through the want ads yesterday and highlighted a few things I think you should apply for. The addresses are there on that piece of paper.”

Sierra took the papers. Her mom meant well. “Thanks, Mom, but I already—”

Her mom moved in next to her and started down the list. “I think you should try Harlow’s Nursery first. It’s closest to the house and the hours look decent. I called this morning and they haven’t hired anyone yet.”

Sierra clutched the paper. “Did you tell them I was coming?”

Her mom grinned with delight. “Of course.”

What kind of impression would they have of a woman whose mom calls about a job for her?
She forced a smile. “Thanks. I’ll see you two later.”

Her mom grabbed her arm and lowered her voice to a sober whisper. “What have you decided about the horse?”

Sierra whispered back. “We’re not keeping it.”

“But, honey, I talked to Kyle Olsen at church Sunday and his cousin Ross has acres of pasture just going to waste. I’m sure we could talk to him.”

Sierra rounded her lips in a very deliberate “No.” She smiled to soften the words. “I’m not budging on this one.”