Authors: M.S. Brannon
Copyright © 2014 M.S. Brannon. All rights reserved.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any written, electronic, recording, or photocopying without written permission from the author. The exception would be in case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews or pages where permission is specifically granted by the author.
This book is a work of fiction and the events surrounding this book are fictitious. Names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any similarity to actual events, locations, organizations, or persons live or dead, is entirely coincidental and not intended by the author.
Photo Credit: Shutterstock
Cover Design: Robin Ludwig Designs Inc.
Copy Editing: C&D Editing
Proofreading: Georgette Waters, Christie Mitchum, Kim Ludwick, and Alexandra Esch
This book is intended for a mature audience due to strong language and adult situations.
For my media slut,
Inappropriate jokes, wild sex, and a very memorable sidekick are in your future. Enjoy!
Table of Contents
e is massaging her thighs, deeply kneading his fingertips into her fleshy, peach skin. He unzips his pants, sans underwear, and lets them fall to the ground. Her eyes become as large as saucers as she takes in his size and then transforms with desire as her mouth turns up into a wicked grin.
“I can’t wait to put that throbbing cock in my mouth.” She undoes the buttons on her red and white polka-dot dress, letting it drop to the carpet. She, too, is without undergarments, and her full, hard breasts are poised perfectly from her chest.
She crushes herself into his hard form and picks up a strawberry from the table, then bites. When the juices drip from her chin, he wastes no time lapping it off her skin.
Next, she falls to her knees and admires the length before her. It’s as long as a ruler, yet thin enough to handle. She wraps her hand around his shaft and begins to stroke his cock from the base, pulling her hand to the tip then pushing it back down. He flops his head back in pleasure, his look saying nothing would ever compare to the simple touch from her hand.
The buxom blonde leans forward and wraps her red-stained lips around his fleshy member before she sucks it to the very back of her throat and holds it there. She looks like she can’t take it all, yet then she swallows the rest of it into her mouth until her reflexes take over. She lets out a gasp of air, then does it again and again. All the while, he’s holding her head as he releases a groan from the back of his throat, enjoying every second of his pleasure.
The hulky man then ushers the woman to her feet, swiftly picks her up, and flips her upside down. They begin to—
“Wait, what the hell?” I scream to the television as I toss popcorn at the screen. “This is the worst porno yet, Shelby. I told you something hot, not ludicrous.” Shelby looks over to me and gives me a wide-eyed, innocent look. “You know I only get one day a month to just completely lust after something without hearing ‘
and you bring this shit into my house?” While I toss stray popcorn at her face, she just giggles as she chugs from her beer bottle.
“Mariah, it’s your birthday; I wanted to get something memorable.” She snickers, knowing I would have never enjoyed this movie.
“Exactly my point, Shelby. It’s
birthday, and it should have been a good one.” I look over to my best friend and glare into her hazel-colored eyes.
Oh, my dear, delusional Shelby. She is my best friend. We’ve been through thick and thin together, but sometimes, I wonder if she knows me at all. Shelby is not the kind of friend everyone has or even wants to have, and that’s exactly why I adore her. She’s a short, little spitfire who’s not afraid to speak her mind, curses like a sailor, and is simply comfortable with who she is. It’s hard to believe that someone who’s as tiny as she is can be so overpowering to others. However, from the moment she described her first dildo in detail, I knew I would love her for the rest of my life.
She’s a half a foot shorter than me, standing at an incredible five-feet tall, has a trim, hourglass figure with a full bosom and curvaceous ass. Plus, an added bonus to the wonder that is Shelby Van Horn is her willingness to experiment with anything sexual. You name it, and she’s probably done it… on more than one occasion. She’s not a slut by society standards, well, in regards to sleeping around, but she is definitely the freakiest person in creation. She finds real doozies to mate with, and when it gets boring or dull, she moves on to find the next man who can keep up with her wild ways in the sack.
Shelby puts her hands on her hips and tries to look offended at my random outburst. “Is your vagina totally dead or what? There’s a naked man on TV with his huge dick flopping in the wind, and you’re telling me this doesn’t turn you on?”
She hits the pause button on the remote and the man’s rock hard penis consumes the screen. I’m staring at my flat screen, looking at a giant dick that does not turn me on. Ugh, what the hell? Maybe there is something really wrong with me. Can a woman lose her sexual drive at the age of twenty-six? It’s probably from all the weed I smoked in high school and college. I heard it can happen to guys, so why wouldn’t it happen to women? However, I shake off my thoughts when I hear footsteps trudging up the stairs.
The front door opens and shuts abruptly when my other best friend in the entire world comes elegantly strolling into my living room.
Giselle Vanenti, an Italian goddess, born in Rome and raised in New York City, is the epitome of class and exotic beauty. She traded the cold New York winters for the sweltering Florida sun after she graduated high school.
Shelby and I met Giselle at freshman orientation when we attended the University of Miami. Of course, we hated her immediately. I know, I know, it’s cruel. It’s totally not fair to have every perfect quality bundled into one person, though.
Giselle looks like a runway model, has the intellect of a rocket scientist, has a very successful VP position at some public relations firm, and is one of the most generous and caring people on the planet.
She doesn’t need to try at anything to be good at it. In fact, she’s perfect. From her slender, tan legs to her head full of chestnut hair, Giselle is the envy of most women and the prize to be won by most men. Her beautifully straight teeth radiate whenever she smiles. Like every sucker out there, we fell for Miss Vanenti instantly and fell hard. Now, she is one of our very best friends.
Giselle is constantly sought after, but you wouldn’t think that when speaking to her. When I got in my predicament named Royce, she was the most support I had. Giselle was by my side for the entire pregnancy and the birth. She’s been by my side from the time I found out and spoils my son like any best friend would. I adore every inch of her.
“Oh, you’re just in time! G. Shelby, here, wants to know why this is the worst porno ever created.” I slide over on the couch as Giselle sits down then pours a glass of wine.
“It’s not that bad, G. Don’t let her sabotage your brain. Mariah is getting all worked up because this isn’t the type of movie she was looking for.” Shelby is whining like she has hurt feelings, but I know she’s acting her ass off. Giselle, of course, falls for it—she is too nice not to.
“Come here, my little darling,” Giselle coos and pulls Shelby down on the sofa with us. “I’d have to agree with Shelby, Mariah. It’s a man, and he’s about to have sex with a woman, what’s not great about that?” Giselle’s Italian accent flutters through her words. It’s so sexy even I want to hump it.
Really? Being the only levelheaded one in the room, I need to break down to these clueless girls as to why this is the worst porno ever made.
I get to my feet and snatch the remote from Shelby’s hand. Like a professor on the first day of class, I stand beside the TV and point to the frozen penis on screen. “First”—I pick up the case to the DVD and point to the cover—“let’s look at the title, shall we?
Bomb Shattered Butts
. Not only is this a turn off because it’s focusing primarily on anal sex, which you know is a no go zone for me, Shelby, but they’re having it take place in the 1950s when an atomic bomb is about to strike. The geniuses decided to put the cast in a makeshift bomb shelter that looks like a diorama I made in fifth grade. Okay, yeah,” I say, caked in sarcasm, “what’s a better way to pass the time and forget someone is dropping a
onto your house than to have butt sex? Not pray or take time to tell those you love how much they mean to you, nope… butt fucking.”