She was so damn beautiful and I grimaced as I palmed the
glass wall for reinforcement. Not only was she the pulse that powered the blood
through my system but she was also the beat my heart needed to pump that blood
and the energy that fed sustenance to it.

I needed her.

My very essence needed her.

I dragged air urgently through my nose and looked down at
my luggage. Four bags that contained my life, four bags that would accompany me
on the start of a new life in Portugal, but as my eyes lifted again, locking
onto the woman who stole my soul seven years ago, my fingers unfolded and they
clattered to the floor with a thud that matched the drop of my heart.

The hole that had begun to open when I had first watched
her dance that night all those years ago began to widen and tear further,
splitting me open in its rage and hatred.

Whoever said heartache is an emotion and nothing to do with
the actual muscle spoke utter bullshit, because the pain tearing through my
breastbone was physical, it was
very
fucking physical. It bruised, it stung
and god damn it was trying to fucking kill me as it threatened to swallow me
from the inside and steal every breath I tried to take.

I gasped at the intensity it clenched me with as it tried
to climb up my throat so it could bodily make itself known, could tangibly put
its hands around my face, look me in the eye and say ‘What the fuck are you
doing, you bloody fool?’

She repeatedly glanced nervously at Mason as she watched
for me, as she waited for me to climb the few stairs onto the plane with them
and start a new life.

But, I couldn’t do that.

I couldn’t take any more from her that I hadn’t already.

She owned me, I knew that, I had always known that but
Mason owned
her
and to make her divide her heart between us would
eventually rip that amazing, delicate organ into pieces and I wasn’t willing to
do that; no matter how much the pain and agony clawed at me and threatened to
take me down as I stepped foot onto the tarmac and drank in every single inch
of her.

I refused to let her see the wobble in my legs, the pain
that was engulfing me or the utter devastation that was breaking me in two as I
slowly walked over to them.

I will never forget the look on her face as her soul
darkened and her spirit crumbled when she read me, when she realised I was
staying behind and I forced myself to drag up any bits of courage I had left
inside me to do this.

She shook her head rapidly as I approached, the pain
displayed openly on her beautiful face and I savoured the small smile that
curled my lips at the sight of her stunning beauty. It would be the last smile
that I would make in a long time.

“Kade?” Ava swept her eyes over my face as I neared and
the pain she exhibited so very nearly defeated me, almost made me sprint back
into the lounge, pick up my bags and refuse to accept what my head was rightly
telling me. “Don’t do this, Kade, please.”

I gulped, trying desperately to push air past the lump of
hatred stuck in my throat. “Kade?” She repeated more sternly, her clear
enchanting voice no longer a whisper as her anger with me climbed higher.

“We would never survive, Ava.”

Damn the break in my voice. She shouldn’t hear that, I
didn’t want or need her to hear it. She was hurting enough and I would be
damned to hell if I caused this beautiful creature anymore hurt.

“What? What the hell are you on about?” The shock on her
face held a flicker of understanding and I knew then that I was doing the right
thing. I would sacrifice my soul to make things right between her and Mason. The
damage I had done all those years ago already had a seat in Hell reserved with
my name on it, but I wouldn’t accept that the Devil had glued it there. I
needed to believe that it could be removed and torn up. Otherwise, what was the
point to all this vicious agony?

Mason nodded in understanding. He stepped forward and
palmed my cheek, “You know you can always join us if you change your mind.”

I nodded. “I do,” I answered with a genuine smile before
I pulled him into an embrace, feasting on the respect and understanding he was
offering. His firm hand on my back amplified my strength and I mirrored his
firm nod before he turned his back and left me alone with Ava. My gratitude for
these final solitary moments with his wife gave me a whole new admiration for
him. He should have hated me for nearly destroying what they had but instead he
had taken me inside him, just as I had taken him.

“Ava,” I whispered as I took a step closer to her. I
needed to be closer but she retreated a step as if touching me would pain her,
“Sweetheart, please.”

Her eyes pooled and she squeezed them closed, squeezing
my heart with them. “No.”

I reached for her as I refused to let her distance
herself, needing to touch her and I pulled her tiny frame against my own,
inhaling her scent and burning it to memory, begging God that he never let me
forget it. She struggled in my hold and I pulled her tighter as she fought me
angrily, “Why? Why, Kade?” She sounded defeated as she buried her face in my
chest, “It will be fine, it will work. I promise.”

“For now, maybe for a few months everything would be
great but both Mason and me.” I paused as honesty flowed through me and I
grabbed the opportunity to voice all that my head and my heart needed to rid
themselves of, “We’re both so in love with you Ava that eventually we’re going
to clash. We both want to own you, both of us want to possess every inch of
you, we want you to be ours.”

I tilted her face to mine with a finger as I desperately
tried to make her understand. “Our dominance over you will destroy us all and I
couldn’t bear for either of you to hate me.”

“Never Kade, we could never hate you.” The sincerity in
her voice echoed in her eyes and I smiled as I placed a kiss on her nose and
slid my hand over her cheek, her soft skin calming my anxiousness just as it
always had done.

“And what if I started to hate you? What if we each
started to wonder if either of us is spending too much time with the other, or
if Mason gives you a better orgasm than me? Or… or if Mason started to think
you loved me more and were plotting to out him. Or you begin to imagine things
that aren’t there between me and Mason?”

I needed her to understand and my soul begged her. If she
never forgave me for this then I don’t think I would get through life knowing
that I had hurt her to an extent of hate. “I’ll always love you Ava, always.
You are my first love, the first woman who ever owned all of me. I need you to
be happy, sweetheart. I need you to live your life now, not live in the shadow
of two controlling men; two men who want everything of you, Ava. We’d drown
you, suffocate you with love and I couldn’t bear it if we broke you in our
desire to make you happy.”

“But,” she paused as she locked me down with her stunning
green gaze, her eyes relaying everything her mouth was saying. “I love you,
Kade.”

Oh fuck. The power of those words that I had longed to
hear for so, so long engulfed my whole essence and freed something inside me as
it coupled with an immense feeling of grief. I closed my eyes, letting the
peace and chaos of her declaration flow through me but I cursed when I couldn’t
hold back the emotion of them and a tear trickled down my face.

I pleaded right then, with God, with someone I had never
had any faith in, an entity that had never given me any reason to believe, but
right then and there, I begged with my soul, my spirit and my body to give me the
strength I needed to let her walk away.

“I’ve loved you for eight years, Kade and I will love you
for eternity.”

I nodded as the torrent of grief now descended in a wave
of sobs, tearing me in two and hardening me physically as well as emotionally
and mentally. I would never allow myself to feel again. This was too much. The
torture was so immense it felt like my whole body was been seared from the
inside out and I struggled to keep my heart beating as devastation destroyed me.

“As I will always love you Ava, forever and absolutely” I
whispered as I rested my lips on her forehead and memorised every single thing
about her; burnt to the corners of my mind the feel and smell of the only woman
I had ever really loved truly and I knew I would only ever love with absolution
again.

“Go.” I breathed frantically, beseeching with approaching
hysterics that she go now before she witnessed my final and utter breakdown.

I took one final and ultimate breathe of her before she
turned, walked, and never looked back.

Never again showed me her beautiful and mischievous
smile.

Never again relished my spirit with her gentle touch.

Never again whispered in my ear what my touch did to her.

And never again allowed me to feel anything other than
hatred and loathing.

I didn’t wait to watch them leave. I couldn’t bear to
watch that, and as I strolled through the airport with desolation and bleakness
beginning to consume me, I didn’t even realise I had left my luggage back by
the window… along with my heart.

Chapter One
Kade
Current Day

The room was spinning again and I grabbed hold of the
edge of the bar to try and bring it back upright. “Go home, mate, you’ve had
your fill tonight. Time for bed.” The barman, Bod or Brock or something
similarly stupid told me and I curled my lip at him.

“Do I look fucking twelve?”

He smirked at me, the fucking arsehole and shrugged as he
still refused me another drink. What the fuck was his problem? “You’re getting
no more tonight. Go home.”

“What? … Oh, fuck it!”

I spun round on the stool and frowned. Where the hell was
I anyway? This wasn’t Pulse or even The Loft. It was somewhere new, well new to
me anyway, and I perused the opulence of the place, respectfully admiring the
high quality fixtures and luxurious décor, their rich but subtle tones relaxing
you but at the same time feeding a desire to party. The abundant deep red and
classic cream features were welcoming and pleasant yet at the same time
stimulating and thrilling and I pursed my lips reverently as I noticed the faint
stylish use of chrome arranged here and there, making the building appear more
open and clean.

I slid off my stool, my eyes darting around as I took in
more of my surroundings whilst I tampered with my memories, trying to assess
exactly where I was. I hadn’t been here before, I knew I hadn’t. I would have
remembered such a place, especially the guys scattered about with pieces hidden
in their waistbands. Did they really think they were inconspicuous or did they
even care, come to that? They definitely looked casual but at the same time
aggressively prominent and the conflicting vibes they gave off made me queasy.

Gazing around the room, looking for the little boy’s
room, I spotted at least six tooled up men, each directing their gazes out
towards the room of swaying patrons, each alert and outwardly hostile and I
eyed one in particular as his fierce stare fixed on a couple of blokes arguing
across the room.

The music was blaring and my head was starting to thump
with the vibrations of it, my gut giving me bother over the last whisky as it
tried to acidly chuck it back up my throat.

Shit!

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