Read I Won't Give Up Online

Authors: Sophie Monroe

I Won't Give Up (10 page)

“How about a bar?” I had my fake ID though I think they hardly cared in this tiny town.
Plus I really needed a little liquid courage.

“A bar? I’m not sure that’s such a great idea, remember last time
you drank with me
?”
He smirked.

“Oh it will be fine, just one drink then we can go.”
I pleaded making my best puppy-dog face.
I could tell I had him.

“One.” He said trying to sound firm. I nodded at him and clapped my hands as he started towards the bar. We pulled in to the parking lot and he came around and opened the door the gentleman that he was. He offered me his arm and I accepted it, he opened the door and the smell of smoke and booze hit me, filling my lungs. It was definitely what I was expecting, a run down, dingy bar. I pulled Cooper towards the bar and ordered us a each a drink and placed a twenty down. I
walked over to the jukebox
added a couple quarters and selected a few songs before making my way back to Cooper who was nursing his beer looking handsome
and relaxed
.
He was always walking on eggshells, it was my fault that he didn’t look like that more often.
I was glad I thought of this idea
,
it was nice to be myself here without having to wor
ry about someone recognizing me
or knowing all my problems
.

“Dance with me.” I said pulling him off the bar stool, he looked like he wanted to refuse but I wasn’t giving him that opportunity. The bar was busy, probably mostly regulars. He pulled me into a slow dance to Patsy Cline’s
I Fall to Pieces
.
He whispered the lyrics to me.
I climbed onto my tippy toes and kissed his cheek and smiled a genuine smile at him. We locked eyes and I could feel
the rest of
my trepidation vanish almost completely. He
dipped me
down and slowly brushed his lips across mine,
returning the smile,
I relished in the feeling. When the song was done we headed back to the bar. Cooper pulled me onto his lap and I obliged
feeling giddy
.

“You know you could do much better than me.” I told him.

“You can’t perfect perfection Fiona.” He said kissing my cheek.

We were
laughing and
engaging in small talk when a guy that looked like he was in his early twenties
with a
broad
muscular build
approached the bar.

“Why does it feel like you’re the most beaut
iful girl in the room?” He
was
obviously trying to flirt
.

“Because she is.” Cooper said flatly
looking annoyed
.

“Mmm. That she is.
How ‘bout a dance there sugar.

He crooned.
What the hell, clearly I’m here with someone.

“No thanks.” I said. He reached towards my arm and tried pulling me off Coopers knee
.
Cooper tightened his hold on me
. The guy growled.
Shit.

“Listen
buddy
if you’re gonna bark you’d better have some
b
it
e
.” Cooper said
,
a menacing look crossing his face. The guy raised his hand again. Cooper stood
lithel
y
sliding me onto the stool.

“You’re about to need a good friend tonight.” Cooper said before delivering a punch to his face that resulting in what I assume was a satisfying crack. He turned to me.

“Time to call it a night.” He said but I was frozen.
He picked me up bridal
style and carried me quickly to the car.
As he got into the drivers seat he looked at me worriedly.

“You okay?”
His voice full of concern.

“I’m fine.” I said reassuringly.
It never seized to amaze
me how well Cooper could fight.

It’s late.
I think we should
just
get some take out and maybe get a motel room for the night?”
I said playing with my hands
.
He brought his hand to the my face and brushed the hair away from my eyes looking intently at me.

“Fiona, what brought this on? For over a month I’ve had to fight tooth and nail to get you to do just about anything and now all the sudden we’re in the middle of nowhere and
now
you want to stay the night?”
He said softly.


I’m just really tired.

I said.
Poor Cooper looked so confused but start
ed towards the diner to order
some take out. The diner was right next to the motel so I went and got us our room for the night.

“Evening Ma’am. What can I do for you this
fine evening?” Th
e older gentlemen behind the counter asked.

“I’d like a room please.”
I tried to sound confident and assured myself over and over that this is what I wanted. It was.
“Sure. A double or a single?”
He asked politely.
“Single.”
I said way too loudly, my voice off pitch.

“That’ll be fifty-four dollars.” I handed him sixty and told him to keep the change. He handed me the
room
key and I thanked him. I grabbed our bags from the car and I went into the diner and waited with Cooper for our food.
The temperature dropped and I shivered. Cooper stood behind me and wrapped his arms around me.
With luggage and food in hand we headed to our room, I unlocked the door and watched Coopers surprised face.
I was so nervous.

“There’s only one bed in here.”
He looked shocked and I was happy I was able to pull a fast one.
I mean we’d slept in the same bed a couple of times already anyway
but he was gentleman enough to assume that I would get a double if I had the choice
.

“I know.” I said with a wink.
He pulled out our take out. He got me buffalo wings, chicken noodle soup and a grilled cheese, my favorites. Buffalo wings have become our thing ever since the fi
r
st time at The Barn.
After
we ate
I went into the bathroom to shower and get ready for bed.
I washed my hair methodically, twice and applied some lemon drop lotion. I took a cleansing breath as
I walked into the bedroom in just my towel, Cooper was laying on the bed
in his boxers
with his hands behind his head watching TV, when I knew I had his attention I let the towel fall.

“Oops.” It was no accident and he knew it and by
the look on his face
he was helpless to do anything.
He looked like a statue.

“Fiona, what are you doing?”
He stammered.

You I hope.
I thought to my self.
I walked over to the bed and straddled his lap, claiming
his mouth with my own.
Our tongues slowly caressed one another in a slow dance; exploring.
I
t felt amazing to be skin to skin with him.
I was running my hands through his hair, up his arms and his perfectly sculpted chest.
I felt his
impressive erection pressing against my belly
.

“You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen Fiona. I mean it.” He said, sincerity in every word. He moved so that I was now on my back.
“I want to
explore
every inch of you, starting here.” He said li
fting my foot and kissing the side of my foot
. He was so gentle and loving, I could see the love
and adoration
he had for me in his eyes; I felt safe and happy for the first time in a long time. I was definitely falling in love
with him
, if I wasn’t already
.
Fear starting
surfacing
but I pushed it away.
Oh could h
e do things with his tongue…
I came crying out his name.

“Um, I wasn’t expecting this… I don’t have anything.” He said shyly.

“Are you clean?”
I asked, he nodded
his
eyes filled with lust and yearning. “Me too. I’m on the pill.”
I stated.

“You’re sure it’s okay? I’m fine with what we just did, that was perfect, more than perfect.”
Damn he was so freaking sweet!

“I need you Cooper, I need you to love me.” I said with tears stinging my eyes. I needed this/him more than I ever thought possible. He brought his mouth to mine and slowly entered,
rocking in and out and we made love. I thought Jack and I made love but this was a whole other level of intimacy
I felt like he was marking my soul
. He kept eye contact the entire time, cradling me in his arms, sweetly kissing all over my face
bringing me over the edge, over and over again
.
Just the look in his eyes was almost too much, I felt him stiffen and find his release, he kissed me deeply making me climax one more time. It was so much more than I thought it could ever be.
He
pulled me clo
se placing my head on his chest.
I
listened to the r
h
yth
m o
f his heart come back to normal. W
e fell asleep like that.

When I woke
we were still cuddling.
I was
wrapped in Cooper, he
always
smells amazing. I look
ed
up at his face, his pouty lips slightly parted, his long eyelashes fanning on to his cheeks, his hair tousled and looking seriously sexy.
I kissed his lips lightly
thinking
back to last night
,
it was
truly amazing
,
literally perfect. The two of us fit together like two pieces of a puzzle and our bodies were so in sync
,
I was still in awe. I laid my head
back
on chest listening to his breathing and heartbeat, content and happy without the use any substances.
Then reality had to rear its ugly head.

“I love you.” He murmured still deep in sleep.
Over the summer I’d read a lot of books, one was a book full of quotes and this one
was had a quote from Neil Gaiman about love, real love not the stuff you read about in fairytales
.

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life… You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. Its eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should just be friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

His little nocturnal admission made me
freak out. Could I love him
like he deserved
? I
realize
d
d
espite
my happiness and
everything
else he had to offer
I’m just not
ready
for
yet
, it wouldn’t be fair to either of us
.
I’d only be able to give him half of my heart at best and he deserved more than I could offer. I wasn’t ready to love again
nor was I ready for a glass splinter
.
The thought
was already
tear
ing me up
. When he woke up I pretended everything was fine
,
we showered, together, then headed to the diner for breakfast before taking the
long
ride home.

“I don’t know why you changed your mind but that was the best night of my life.” Cooper said
beaming
. I’d never seen him this happy
. I was not looking forward to watching his smile fade away so I
just shrugged my shoulders,
plastered on a fake smile
and nodded
.
Shit, this is going to kill him.
The
n the internal struggle started
m
aybe I
could try,
that’s what I
was trying to convince
myself
.
I just couldn’t, not yet. Maybe we could be friends with extras?
That would just end in one of us getting hurt.
When we pulled into Cooper’s driveway I got out to walk to the drivers side when he snuck up behind me and lifted me up making me stifle a giggle.

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